Saturday 2 April: Big energy increases are made worse by suppliers torpedoing meter readings

Posted on by Geoff Graham

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538 thoughts on “Saturday 2 April: Big energy increases are made worse by suppliers torpedoing meter readings”

  1. Good morning all.
    It’s a dull frosty start with a chilly -3°C on the thermometer, but at least it’s dry at the moment.

  3. Well, it seems that keeping my van back on the road may be harder than I thought as it’s a Cat S write off as the buckling of the van floor is classed as structural.
    A bit of a bugger.

    2. Morning Bob. Cheer yourself up with the thought that after vehicles have been crashed they are rarely any use afterwards, regardless of what repairs are carried out!

    3. Morning Bob. Cheer yourself up with the thought that after vehicles have been crashed they are rarely any use afterwards, regardless of what repairs are carried out!

    4. And, of course, you lose out financially, as buying the equivalent van will cost a lot more than the insurance will pay out – and all the freaking inconvenience of trying to get a replacement.

    5. In certain circumstances a really dodgy person might report a minor collision and state that there was no visible damage. But they would need to obtain a new MoT certificate. Of course, should their neck & back suddenly start hurting, a bit of compo would help pay for the gap between what the insurers intend to pay and the cost of another van.
      Edit: I see that cat S is an updated version of category C, so this looks like Direct Li*e trying to save a few pounds on a repair bill.

    6. Thank your luck stars that it isn’t compulsory yet that you have to buy an electric van. I’m sure that will be coming soon. But all the same, sorry, its always annoying to be out of pocket for such things.

    4. ‘Morning, Bob, As a pedant for English I’ve often wondered about that word, ‘gaslighted’.

      What does it mean and why not ‘gaslit’?

      2. Psychologists use the term “gaslighting” to refer to a specific type of manipulation where the manipulator is trying to get someone else (or a group of people) to question their own reality, memory or perceptions.

    7. Yes.
      Mother’s ‘leccy supplier increased kWh charges by a lot, and more than doubles the standing charge – used to pay for the hardware. Why has an already-exisitng copper cable suddenly doubled in maintenance cost?
      And – no matter how little power you use, the standing charge keeps on demanding…

  6. Double-killer released on license beat 73-year-old neighbour to death. 2 April 2022.

    A convicted double killer serving a life sentence was allowed out on licence – only to murder a third pensioner the following year.
    Lawrence Bierton, 61, yesterday pleaded guilty to murdering his neighbour, Pauline Quinn, in Worksop, Nottinghamshire, on November 9, 2021.

    A “double killer” of old ladies? Did this not tell them something?

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10678155/Double-killer-released-license-beat-73-year-old-neighbour-death.html

    1. Good morning. The authorities seem to have no care for ordinary people. Killers should never be released back in to the ‘community’. Send them to an island with other released killers and let them make of it what they will.

      1. Cheaper still; restore the long drop.
        Make sure the rope is sisal, none of that nasty plastic stuff made from petro-chemicals; got to think of the planet.

          2. If the Parole Board suffered any sanctions for making the wrong decision they might think a bit harder rather than believe everything they are told.

    2. They were only obeying guidelines.
      (see Shrewsbury and Telford Maternity Unit)

  7. Double-killer released on license beat 73-year-old neighbour to death. 2 April 2022.

    A convicted double killer serving a life sentence was allowed out on licence – only to murder a third pensioner the following year.
    Lawrence Bierton, 61, yesterday pleaded guilty to murdering his neighbour, Pauline Quinn, in Worksop, Nottinghamshire, on November 9, 2021.

    A “double killer” of old ladies? Did this not tell them something?

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10678155/Double-killer-released-license-beat-73-year-old-neighbour-death.html

  9. Vladimir Putin ‘visited by cancer doctor 35 times and bathes in deer antler blood’. 2 April 2022.

    Vladimir Putin was visited by a thyroid cancer doctor 35 times at his luxury Black Sea retreat, and regularly takes steroids, according to documents revealing the autocrat’s state of health for the first time.

    The Russian leader had Moscow-based Yevgeny Selivanov, a specialist in thyroid cancer for the “elderly and senile”, repeatedly flown out to his favoured residence in Sochi for a total of 166 days over four years.

    Putin has also taken to bathing in the blood extracted from severed deer antlers as an alternative therapy, according to a report exposing his poor health as the Kremlin’s “main secret”.

    The name of the specialists concerned were gathered by examining hotel guest lists in Sochi, a favoured holiday destination for Muscovites. 166 Days divided by 35 visits equates to 5 day trips and since there were 35 visits over 4 years it comes down to around 8 a year. Hardly intensive care but nice long weekend breaks for well off and randy medical men. The years in question are 2016 – 2020 so it is hardly relevant to the present and if true would imply that he has made a full recovery. The “deer antler blood” is of course a retread of an old Eastern European tradition; think Elizabeth Báthory, showering in the Blood of Virgins. It is also worth remembering that these pieces are commissioned for content: only a very few journalists get to write their own opinions We have to give the authors some credit here, rather than just invent a whole piece they took some half assed information from an obscure source and re-engineered it to look moderately convincing.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2022/04/01/vladimir-putin-visited-cancer-doctor-35-times-bathes-deer-antlers/

    1. Same story in Aftenposten over here. Trying to make the man seem like he’s away with the fairies, another form of demonising your enemy.
      Don’t believe a word of it.

      1. When the West detonate their nuclear bomb (05-05-22 – see the Simpsons for more details) they can claim Putin as the perpetrator and suffering from dementia.

      2. Actually he is the sanest leader in the West bar none. The others are so stupid that they have to think he is insane otherwise it shows them up, by their behaviour, for the utter pratts they are.

  10. Good Moaning.
    Bright and frosty. I bet the daffs are wishing they hadn’t bothered.

    Wonderful, but bittersweet DT article article by Simon Heifer; it’s an interview with Norman Tebbit and a painful reminder of what we have lost.
    It is rather long, so I will only post the link. Here is a flavour of the common sense England of a few years ago. Contrast with the brain washed killers of Shrewsbury and Telford.

    “He owes his life, he (Lord Tebbit) says, to Fred Bishop, a fireman. ‘He was on the lead engine that came out. They ran through what they thought was sea mist [it was smoke from the bomb] to see the hotel with the front torn out. Fred said to his team, “Chaps, you know the rules, if that was a bomb we can’t go in until the bomb squad have cleared it of booby traps. I think it was a fire in the kitchens, don’t you?” And they said, “Yes, it was a fire in the kitchens.” If Fred Bishop hadn’t done that, a lot more would have died.”

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2022/04/02/norman-tebbit-many-people-politics-today-rather-poor-material

    1. Good Lord! Common sense over Health and Safety? I remember that!
      ‘Morning Anne! How is it going at Allan Towers?

      1. Cold. Bright. And the boss (Spartie) seems happy enough.
        Trying to declutter. Where the heck does it all come from?

  11. For Covid read light or heavy cold, That is what it has become. lets have the numbers for people with the common cold.

  12. Morning, all Y’all.
    Beautiful clear night, leading to beautiful sunny day, and -7C just now.
    Looking forward to some warm – some day soon, I hope.
    Could also do with rain – there hasn’t been precipitation for weeks now.

    1. ‘Morning Obers! Same here! I’ve actually been watering the 2 clematis I planted last year, and various other things! Unless you count the snow and hailstones we had a couple of days ago, we haven’t had rain for about 4 weeks!
      How are things with you?

      1. Tiring, thanks.
        Too much work with too little structure makes my pore brane tired, then my walking and seeing go to ratshit.
        Need a vacation and some warm weather.
        I seem to have put my social life down somewhere and forgot where (and yes, I looked in the fridge) – at least, it’s vanished. That’s not encouraging either! :-((

        1. Not having a structure/routine gets me too!
          Edit : Social life?? I’m not familiar with that? Dog walking I know about!

          1. And more than half the week made up of meetings that extend the to-do list whilst not giving an opportunity to actually do any of it. Meeting with extroverts who think that talking continuously and loudly somehow achieves something other than occupying their brains with thoughts. ARGH!
            Weekend now, with physical stuff to do – take the broken cesspit tank to the tip, chuck out frozen pigs heads and more isopor than you can shake a trailer at…

          2. Wow! That’s sounds like fun…! But a change is as good as a rest, eh?

        1. Is that a Joey from Friends ‘how you doing’?
          I’m well, but knackered! Don’t like nursing my impatient and recalcitrant old man, and his broken ankle!

          1. ;-))
            Saw through me straight away…
            Broken bodies aren’t fun, and to be rendered close to immobile even worse. Even going to the loo becomes a case for a struggle, let alone anything else. My sympathies to him, and you.

      1. It more sublimes rather than melts – there’s snow & ice, then it’s gone, not a puddle to be seen.

      2. Isn’t he always. Did his usual U turn on gay conversion therapy then did another U turn meaning he has gone round full circle. Prat.

        Good morning.

  15. Good morning, all. Bright sun – heavy frost; snow in the night. Good day for bonfire.

      1. Cousin of yours?

        SIR – Given the huge price rise in energy costs, with another due in October, is there any way we could reduce demand by increasing the temperature of the planet overall? I understand scientists have proved that such measures as using plastic items only once, frequently employing an internal combustion engine, and burning wood and coal every evening, even in summer, would significantly aid this.

        These actions may sound onerous, but I can assure you from personal experience that they can very quickly become an habitual, consistent and natural part of your daily life.

        Simon Jameson
        Longcot, Oxfordshire

    2. My new gardeners debuted yesterday. Garden all spick and span. Oleanders and Pride of Madeira repotted. Weeded the beds. Repainted the boardwalk. Karchered the pathways and laid some flags.
      £220 for two men working hard for four hours. Worth every penny.

      Good morning.

      2. We have a gardener for 2 hours every fortnight and he gets so much more done than I can. He’s RHS qualified and Hungarian, a proper gardener. We pay him £20 an hour. He’s a lovely man. Neighbours across the road have what I cal jobbing gardeners, they cut the grass and blow leaves away. Always cut grass no matter the weather. Our Ernie is worth his weight in gold.

        1. You are so right. They get far more done in the time it would take me to decide where to start ! They knew all the plants and how they needed repotting. Oleander needs one third grit to compost which they knew about. I have confidence in them.

          One of my two is also the Governor of the local school.

          1. Have two Oleanders, I brought them for nostalgia, the smell and the sight of them reminds me of North Africa. To top it off, all I need is a Deaths Head Hawk Mouth to buzz around them of an evening and my pleasure would be complete.

      3. Morning Pip. Can you put a Pride of Madeira in a pot. I thought they grew to be huge?

      1. I consider his action restrained. If one’s wife is being publicly insulted most men

        would have given the man a sturdy punch.

        1. #Metoo!
          I’d have punched Rock just for being Rock, and extremely untalented!

        2. #Metoo!
          I’d have punched Rock just for being Rock, and extremely untalented!

        4. I agree Janet. But it seems that men defending their wives honour has gone out of fashion. Now, you have to sit there and take it like a snivelling coward. That’s what todays PC “values” get you.

  18. SIR – It says something about the Russian President when every reader of this paper knows more about the war in Ukraine than he does (“Putin’s aides are lying to him, says GCHQ chief”, March 31). Perhaps he should subscribe to the Telegraph.

    Patrick Smith
    Gorleston, Norfolk

    NoTTLers are given hourly reports by members embedded in the Kremlin with direct access to Putin. [Yawn]

    1. If the GCHQ chief knew for certain what President Putin was being told, he certainly wouldn’t tell the world about it.

  19. A Punfest, sent to me this morning:

    1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

    Croesus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.”

    “But I paid a million dinars for it,” the King protested. “Don’t you know who I am? I am the King!”

    Croesus replied, “When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.”

    2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.

    Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, . .and so we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

    3. A man rushed into a busy doctor’s surgery and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”

    4. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, “The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on.”

    5. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, “I must have taken Leif off my census.”

    6. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that … the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

    7. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, “Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don’t need enemas.”

      1. ‘Morning, Philip, nobody forced you to read them. Would the request to stop, though, be as a result of the side-splitting laughter?

  20. SIR – What a workload GPs must have. Mine referred me to a private ophthalmologist (at my expense), received a clear report two months ago recommending that I have cataract treatment, and now wishes to discuss a referral with me in five weeks’ time – by telephone.

    If it takes three months to pick up a telephone, this GP needs assistance.

    Ken Timbers
    London SE9

  21. Well, I’ve not been told to stop driving the van, so I’m off to t’Lad’s to pick some lightweight concrete blocks up for him.

    TTFN

  22. That A Allan chap being difficult again BTL@DTletters

    A Allan
    28 MIN AGO
    I have a cunning plan.
    Next time my husband has an appointment at the haematology department, I will first take him to the obstetric unit and he can undergo a pregnancy test. Can’t be too careful.

    2. Congratulations to you both, Richard & Caroline.
      Look forward to many more years together!

    3. Many congratulations, if she’s still a patient woman you must still be a good man.

    5. Congratulations to you both . Caroline has a very graceful and delicately feminine beauty
      ( if you excuse me for saying). Hope you have a lovely day of celebrations and a huge cake .

    7. Well done both of you! Lots of love and patience makes for a happy life together ❤

    10. Good morning Mr and Mrs T, and congratulations on your anniversary.
      It sure looks like that cool cat Rastus knows that he’s got the crème.

    12. Congratulations to you and Caroline, Richard. As you know there is a certain age difference between me and my lovely wife.
      On Friday we celebrate 40 years of marriage.

    14. Happy Anniversary Rastus and Caroline, have a very happy day remembering your wedding and enjoying being together. From Alf and me.

    15. Good morning and Congratulations! May the sun continue to shine on your marriage!

    16. Many congratulations to you both.

      Do you know you look a little like Geoff in that picture. Except you have more hair. 😛

    18. Yes, happy Anniversary Richard, your wife is very attractive but who is the disaster on the left?😊

    1. Morning, Bill! Where do you get all the stuff to bonfire with? Do you scour the neighbourhood for twigs and branches? and doesn’t it plague the neighbours (or is that the point?)
      ;-))

      1. We have nearly two acres of garden, Paul. Shrubs, plants, trees when pruned each year produce huge quantities of stuff to burn.

          2. You can use quite a bit of it for kindling sticks.

            We now have a woodshed full of old roof battens.

          3. Yeah, yeah! The bonfire pile is 15 feet long, 6 feet wide and 4 feet high. For kindling, I have dead branches from 80 beech and oak trees!!!!!!

  26. Who in this world pays a prince £750 000 for a passport? The Nigerians haven’t cottoned on to that one yet. The story doesn’t ring true, yet it seems that Andy has refunded the money already. What did he think it was for? Tipping the butler? WTF??
    https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-60961791

    1. Wedding present for the daughter with too many teeth whose Nanny never told her to keep her mouth closed.

    1. Wouldn’t she have felt a bit cold driving at 200mph with no clothes on? (See – I didn’t assume that James Hunt was the F1 driver).

    2. Jane Hunt,as Eric and Ernie called him…and he played a trumpet on the show.
      Maybe someone could find the video clip!!!

          1. You always knew you were going to be entertained and have a good laugh. My favourites were Angel Rippon doing the high kicks and Andre Preview.

            Regularly drawing audiences in the millions and their Christmas specials ! Everyone who had a telly was watching.

  28. Can the Buffoon get any more stupid? This is wrong on so many levels. He is determined to be so ignorant.

    Thousands more turbines could be built to treble onshore wind power

    Boris Johnson set to sign off on strategy to improve country’s energy independence in wake of Ukraine war and lower spiralling bills

    By Ben Riley-Smith,
    POLITICAL EDITOR
    1 April 2022 • 9:30pm

    Thousands more onshore wind turbines could be built in the UK, as officials work up plans to treble capacity as part of the Government’s new energy strategy.

    The Telegraph understands officials are drafting plans to reach 30GW of onshore wind capacity by 2030 and 45GW by 2035.

    At the moment, the UK has just 15GW of onshore wind capacity. Estimates from RenewableUK suggest that to create an extra 15GW, about 3,700 new turbines would be needed. Reaching 45GW would involve putting up approximately 7,000 more wind turbines, according to industry estimates.

    The targets are part of plans privately commissioned by Boris Johnson and Kwasi Kwarteng, the Business Secretary, in March to explore onshore wind expansion.

    The Prime Minister will make a final decision about the proposals next week, as he signs off the strategy to improve the country’s energy independence.

    Mr Johnson is determined to improve the UK’s energy production, after vowing to scale back Russian oil and gas imports following the invasion of Ukraine and amid spiralling energy bills.

    https://cf.eip.telegraph.co.uk/illustrator-embed/content/7c4dd2b94a1a2134f1528b1e8d34706910702399/1647460854550.jpg

    But moving to accelerate onshore wind would be politically complicated, given fierce past opposition from Cabinet ministers – not to mention from Mr Johnson himself.

    The Prime Minister has in the past variously called onshore wind turbines “white satanic mills” and “ludicrous wind farms” which “failed to pull the skin off a rice pudding”.

    It is understood the Prime Minister is “conscious” of the concerns some Tories have had about onshore wind farms, suggesting the final decision remains in the balance.

    He is publicly supportive of offshore wind farms, but is weighing up energy supply needs and Tory criticism before making a decision about onshore wind turbines.

    Planning rules for wind farms could be eased
    The Telegraph can reveal new details of the onshore wind drive which is being developed, including four specific proposals aimed at increasing capacity.

    Firstly, officials will try to improve how quickly wind farms proposed near Ministry of Defence sites are approved for construction. Proposals can be held up for years while the MoD agrees that radars used by incoming aircraft will not be affected by the turbines’ blades.

    They will also work with Ofgem, the energy regulator, to make sure that proposed wind farms can connect quicker to the National Grid. Often, proposed projects are in isolated rural locations and struggle to secure a connection.

    Officials will also look into financial incentives to local communities. Some energy companies already offer residents who live near wind farms money off their bills.

    The fourth change – and the most contentious – is easing planning rules that have effectively banned the construction of new wind farms in England.

    https://cf.eip.telegraph.co.uk/illustrator-embed/content/2479aa61b9dec8eb1b4b7a8444e0e93ac41c39ca/1647970256683.jpg

    The current rules require local authorities to name areas for potential wind farm use – which only a small minority have done – and empowers local opponents to slow proposals.

    The new plans also place an emphasis on expanding onshore wind in Scotland, where the supportive SNP is in government, as well as in Wales.

    Other ideas being suggested by the industry include creating a local fuel poverty fund that can help those most in need, or financing insulation of nearby homes to ease energy costs.

    The Government is also planning to create what has been dubbed an “onshore wind task force”, including the energy group Octopus and RenewableUK.

    In a meeting with wind industry figures on Thursday, Mr Johnson was told it takes one day to construct an onshore wind turbine but as much as 10 years to get approval.

    There are some signs public opinion has warmed to onshore wind farms, especially if they lead to discounted energy bills in the nearby area.

    Dan McGrail, chief executive of RenewableUK, said: “Onshore wind is the UK’s cheapest source of new power, so it has a crucial role to play in reducing electricity bills, because we can build shovel-ready projects faster than any other source of energy.”

    A Government spokesperson said: “We will shortly set out an ambitious plan to supercharge our use of a diverse range of renewables including offshore wind, solar and hydrogen, all underpinned by nuclear, and continued support for our North Sea oil and gas sector. Any decisions on onshore wind will always be subject to consent from local communities.”

    *******************************************************************

    Too many good BTL comments to list here

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2022/04/01/thousands-turbines-built-treble-onshore-wind-power/?li_source=LI&li_medium=liftigniter-rhr

    2. I read a headline that Boris was resolving energy security and then that he was planning a massive expension in wind.

      The two are antithetical – wind is unreliable, inefficient, wasteful, expensive and ultimately, pointless so how is building more monuments to folly helping our energy security?

      1. Gridwatch shows that wind at 0946 is producing 1.84gw, and meeting 5.5% of demand on a Saturday.

    3. This government seems to consist of utter feckwits whose idea of policy is to grab the first idea, irrespective of economic, scientific or engineering drawbacks, and throw money at it until the inevitable U-Turn?

    4. Comment BTL via Best Beloved’s sign in:

      Pity that they can’t triple instances of the wind blowing. Still and all, it’ll reduce the number of those darn seagulls.

      REPLY
      1 REPLY
      2

    5. “The targets are part of plans privately commissioned by Boris Johnson and Kwasi Kwarteng, the Business Secretary, in March to explore onshore wind expansion.”

      Two lunatics from the same asylum.

    6. He changed his tune because Carrion told him to.
      No matter how many of the tax turbines are installed, They will still be as much use in a winter high pressure when it is bitterly cold with no wind.
      Never mind the tripled ‘carbon footprint’ (for those who ‘believe’ the hype) to source the raw materials, manufacture them, transport to site and eventual disposal.

        1. I think carrion has her claws well and truly embedded in the pudgy, scruffy, unkempt CINO. (Con in name only). I suspect her only attraction to him is the power she holds over him. Much like Hazbeen’s boss, she’ll be off when she has enough power and control.

    7. Notice how they talk about ‘capacity’. Not energy generation, just capacity.

      After all, there’s plenty of capacity if you set fire to Boris Johnson, but there’s bugger all energy going to come out of it.

  30. Chechen fighters armed to the teeth with machine guns and rocket launchers now stalk Mariupol as they try to take the besieged city. 2 April 2022.

    Chechen soldiers have been prowling the shelled-out streets of Mariupol – engaging in fierce firefights as they try to take the besieged city.

    The feared troops, armed with machine guns and rocket launchers, have been used as a PR tool in Vladimir Putin’s war, and photos of them in the city suggest the dictator believes he is on the verge of taking it.

    Reading between the lines here the city appears to have been taken but members of the Azov Battalion have refused to quit fearful of their fate at the hands of the Russians. This of course makes it impossible to restore services or implement evacuations.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10678111/Chechen-fighters-armed-machine-guns-rocket-launchers-stalk-Mariupol.html

    1. I wrote at least 5 days ago that the city had been taken. And you are right Araminta, they are trying to clean up the neo-Nazis. But you will note, “Chechen soldiers”, these were supposed to have been annihilated outside Kiev last week, I think it was? Someone needs to get their stories straight and it isn’t the Russians.

  31. Chechen fighters armed to the teeth with machine guns and rocket launchers now stalk Mariupol as they try to take the besieged city. 2 April 2022.

    Chechen soldiers have been prowling the shelled-out streets of Mariupol – engaging in fierce firefights as they try to take the besieged city.

    The feared troops, armed with machine guns and rocket launchers, have been used as a PR tool in Vladimir Putin’s war, and photos of them in the city suggest the dictator believes he is on the verge of taking it.

    Reading between the lines here the city appears to have been taken but members of the Azov Battalion have refused to quit fearful of their fate at the hands of the Russians. This of course makes it impossible to restore services or implement evacuations.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10678111/Chechen-fighters-armed-machine-guns-rocket-launchers-stalk-Mariupol.html

  32. Re:- the council tax refund of 150 quid. , 19% of a fifth of my shortest finger can’t understand 2/3 of 3 grams of the 1/2 ton of bullshonet in this missive from the Resolution Foundation. Good Morning btw.

    “The think tank fears the scheme is not the most effective way of targeting support at low-income households. 11 per cent of the poorest fifth of households are ineligible for the rebate, because they live in Band E-H properties, while 59 per cent of the richest fifth are eligible. Poor households in London, where one-in-five of the poorest fifth of households live in Band E-H properties and are therefore ineligible for automatic support, are most likely to miss out, The Resolution Foundation said.”

    1. I think they mean “asset rich, cash poor” people – ie pensioners in large properties.

    2. I think they mean “asset rich, cash poor” people – ie pensioners in large properties.

    1. Morning Plum and everyone else.
      The Express complaining about tacky and tasteless. If this had been published yesterday I would have thought it an April Fools joke.

  35. April Fools……!

    Britain’s £1.3billion aid for nations that won’t condemn Putin.
    D.Mail
    Why are we paying China £12,431,532……..?

    4. If we give you a chunk of money, will you promise not to attack us? Pointed out to me years ago by someone who’s since become an EU-Covid-jabbed-Ukraine-flag nut job. Sad.

    1. This will be the GPs who can’t be bothered to see patients, preferring to negligently fob them off with a nurse or even a pharmacist.
      Will they then be held responsible a few years down the line when an ‘it’ decides they want to be their proper gender after all, and the ‘it’ wants to sue?
      Will these GPs properly assess the confused kids, a significant proportion of whom are autistic or have other problems?
      Bring back tomboys and sensitive, gentle men.

        1. I’m sure the technology is there much like the e-passports. Maybe they will cotton on and all start wearing glasses or sunglasses.

        2. Do you remember Brian Clough, the football manager who was not loved by everybody and at one match a supporter of one of the teams went and thumped him. The headline news report said: “Fan hits the shit!“

  37. Good morning all.
    Outright lies in the continuation of the convid project. Ramping up the narrative for when the 4th jabs are rolled out for everyone. This is from one of today’s TCW articles.
    https://www.conservativewoman.co.uk/phase-one-of-the-new-normal-is-complete/

    “Despite UKHSA evidence to the contrary, Chief Scientific Adviser to Government Patrick Vallance, chair of the Pandemic Preparedness Partnership who drew up the 100 Days Mission plan, said that: ‘mRNA vaccines have shown that they can be made quickly, are very responsive to changes in a virus, and of course have a remarkable efficacy. It’s worth just remembering that with a fully-vaccinated person the protection against hospitalisation, severe disease and death is 90 per cent plus with the vaccines we have’”

    That’ll be the efficacy that doesn’t stop anyone getting convid, doesn’t stop anyone spreading it and that rapidly drops within a very few months.

    1. …..and is not as effective as actually catching the virus which has a 99.8% survival rate.

    2. Vallance knows better than to quote the Relative Risk Reduction (RRR) for the serum, he is being disingenuous in doing so – 90%+ sounds/looks so much better than the Absolute Risk Reduction (ARR) of around 1%, give or take. (Emphasis is mine)

      This illustrates why considering the ARR may be helpful. In the Pfizer clinical trial mentioned above, the risk of COVID-19 = 0.75%; so, reducing this risk by 95% does not seem like a very impressive effect. But the issue becomes even more complex to interpret. Within the clinical trial, different subgroups of people have different risks of getting COVID-19. Furthermore, different age groups have vastly differing risks of mortality from COVID-19. We cannot simply assume that a relative risk reduction of 95% applies uniformly across all age ranges from the trial data without further age stratification of the results. In general, younger people have massively lower risks from COVID-19, so the ARR is tiny in those groups. In addition, the risk of getting the disease in different sectors of the population, and in different geographical locations, may also be different.

      PANDATA – Understanding Relative Risk Reduction and Absolute Risk Reduction

      1. All the more reason to not jab young children who are at virtually no risk from convid.
        Though that policy is now being activated, with parents of children aged 5-11 now ‘encouraged’ to book jabs for their youngsters
        It is probably only a matter of time before parents who decline the offer will also find obstacles in their way when they want to go on holiday to the Costa del Chav.

        1. Any parent who would put the chance of a holiday before the health and safety of their child/children doesn’t deserve to be a parent.

          1. I agree but plenty do. The only reason some parents take babies and young children on Mediterranean holidays is because they want to sit around a pool (must have a bar, of course) or on the beach …. while they dump their hapless children in ‘kids clubs’ – they are purely selfish. Those who live there are used to such weather but don’t expect their little ones to be in the sun all day.

    1. I rather like the black and white cat who joins our team zoom meetings at work. It belongs to a colleague in Glasgow and likes to walk across his keyboard. Adds some charm to the proceedings.

    1. “Becoming”? It clearly already is one.

      It’s scandalous that these ordinary people are being penalised for normal living while the “partygate” people will get away with it. Not that I think their parties were anything other than normal behaviour. Nobody should be penalised for transgressing these stupid rules.

      1. The courts were throwing the cases out when people were able to defend themselves and give a reasonable excuse. That is why they changed it. Unspeakable bastards.

        1. The man on the bus with the sinus trouble should claim exemption from the masking rules.

          1. He doesn’t appear to have had the chance and Plod probably weren’t listening because they were practising their bullying techniques rather than using discretion. Once respected and trusted by the majority. Not any more.

          2. The victims should get together and bring an action for judicial review in the High Court.

          5. You could be their mascot. They could carry you around over their shoulders in a comfy chair. You know how to nod, smile and wave don’t you?

    2. I didn’t know that the Court of the Star Chamber was alive and kicking.

    3. I believe it was a long standing truism within the NHS of yore that: ‘The patients are dying to get out of here…’

      1. I considered saving it till late evening but hey, I was born and raised on a council estate and went to the local secondary modern so I guess that makes me common as muck!

        Mind, mum and dad didn’t allow bad language and the estate was nearly 100% white. Just one adopted black kid. Very nice well behaved little guy.

        1. Not judging you really. But…:@)

          I too was brung up on a council estate. Went to the local comprehensive. And yes, swearing, especially that word wasn’t tolerated. My dad would take his belt off and whack me. Girls didn’t tend to swear at all.

          1. It’s not a word I’d ever use – nor is the ‘f’word – but people are allowed to say what they like these days. That’s why words like these are in common parlance now.

          3. We bought a Saturday Grimes a few weeks ago – not impressed, even though it’s much cheaper than the DT.

          4. The newspaper is a shadow of its former self. I have taken it every day (bar Sats) since 1954 and have watched the deteriation (sic – that’s the sort of thing you see in it nowadays..{:¬((…)

            It is just habit, really.

          5. I like the small ads all over the front page. Britain will be lost if those ever stop.

          6. I also wouldn’t use this word, despite every second word in our family being the f word sometimes. “C***” is a derogatory term for a woman, which is why I steer clear of it.

          7. It seems to apply to males as well, these days – perhaps because people can no longer tell the difference.

      2. Sue’s spotless reputation will carry this post…..

        (copied and saved for further distribution!)

    1. Gosh! We’re shabby enough to be ‘upper class’!

      Never mind that my gt grandfather dragged himself up by his bootstraps to run a successful building business. His daughter, my grandma, definitely regarded herself as ‘posh’. Her daughter, my mother wouldn’t have cared a toss.

  44. Having submitted my meter readings this morning for the last 38 days and received the bill, all I can say is Gosh. And that usage was at the old rate. There is definitely trouble ahead.

  45. Good afternoon, everyone. Thanks for all of your concern and recommended remedies for my cold. I feel a lot better today, but still rather tired, so will not do much other than read a little P G Wodehouse and keep a low profile. Enjoy yourselves this Saturday.

  46. Well, that was VERY satisfying. 10.30 the snow stopped, the sun came out (and has stayed out). Bonfire lit – everything burned – just the small heap left “chuntering”, as we pyromaniacs say – all will be gone by nightfall, when the wind begins to change direction.

    Most of the great heap of debris was yew, holly, pyracanthus – all nice and oily – and the mass of prunings had protected the green waste from the rain/snow. So, once it caught – it went very fast.

    I shall reward myself with a beer.

    1. Good advice regarding the beer, Uncle Bill. As a learned friend of mine keeps saying: “Lots of fluids, still”. Lol.

      3. Afternoon Phizzee. When we were children we would sit listening to the radio and project from our imaginations the scenes onto the embers of the fire

  47. Well, that’s the old cess-pit tank disposed of, and the remains of pig heads.
    Now relaxing in the sunny and 3,5C tropical weather with a cold beer.

      1. Our daughter and SiL received an Ooni pizza oven as a wedding present, and are planning a grand opening this afternoon. She’s just been to collect the gas bottle from their bbq, which is still here, and it’s ‘low’! She has now had to run away to find a new supply! It’s also just started to snow!

          3. Hi Belle!
            Lovely to have you back! You have been much missed!
            Capricciosa means capricious and lively, just like me! It’s ham, mushroom, mozzarella and normally artichoke, but we didn’t have any!
            Do take care of yourself and keep improving! 🌹

        2. A few years ago a friend of mine was in the Canadian ‘out back’. The temps had been minus 25, it warmed up to minus ten and their hosts fired up the barbie.

    2. Hmmm. You know that pig heads can be used as bait to catch trolls? (Assuming you’d want to.)

  48. Young people’s ignorance grows more mind-boggling by the year. 2 April 2022.

    Young people’s knowledge of history has been patchy for some time. In 2012, a survey found that two thirds of those aged 16-24 didn’t know what year the First World War ended, over half didn’t know what year it began, and 12 per cent thought that the Battle of Waterloo was fought during it. Then again, this was an improvement on the findings of a survey conducted in 2004, which found that a quarter of secondary school pupils didn’t even know which century the First World War took place.

    Surveys about geography have been just as startling. In 2006, a fifth of schoolchildren were unable to find Britain on a map of the world. And in 2001, over half couldn’t find London on a map of Britain. Meanwhile, 60 per cent didn’t know what language is spoken in Tokyo.

    This simply bears out what I have always thought; that State Education is largely useless. It consists of the unwilling being force fed misinformation by those unqualified to know better. We should have the basics; 5-7 year olds taught Reading, Riting and Rithmetic and then parents should supervise and decide everything thereafter.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/columnists/2022/04/02/young-peoples-ignorance-grows-mind-boggling-year/

    2. That’s probably the reason we don’t see many of the younger generation on TV quiz games.

    3. The teachers are to busy brainwashing them into hating Britain. We are the arch-slavers, don’t you know, and the evil people that invented Capitalism in order to ruin the world by destroying the climate etc etc etc.

      1. Afternoon Johnathan. This is because we have allowed the State to take over children’s education. It should be, like so much else, the responsibility of Parents. If they choose to forgo it then this in my opinion would be no loss. They are lost anyway! All the great advances of the 18th and 19th Centuries were by those who recieved Home or Private schooling.

        1. My Father (1895 – 1955) received his primary education from a private ‘Dame’ school. He was a very educated man.

          1. Afternoon Nan. It is a sad fact that today’s children are worse educated than their Grandparents and before!

          2. It is actually quite amazing how much my generation knew by the time we were 20. 20 year olds today, in comparison, are quite ignorant and immature. I think it started to go downhill somewhere in the late 60’s. Opinions may differ to the time that decay set in but it definitely begun some time ago.

          3. The eighteen year old son thinks his father knows nothing; but when he is 23 he discovers that his old dad must have learnt one hell of a lot in the last five years.

          4. Your father was 51 when you were born (?), my father was 48 when I was born and I was 47 and 49 when my sons Christo and Henry, were born.

            My father (1898 – 1984) was one of eleven children. They had a governess who lived with the family m. At 13 the boys went to Blundell’s or Monkton Combe and the girls went to Sherborne Girls’.

        2. I agree Araminta. My daughter was “educated” in the USA. History for her consisted of one year about California, then the USA and a cursory glance at the rest of the world. But, this was so bad that even their knowledge of American history was appalling, the children really had no clue. I actually ended up teaching an American history course, outside of the school system, to help her and friends pass exams. As for the rest of the world, that history was an utter joke. American Independence and the history of Britain are intertwined but you would not know that talking to the average Californian child.
          I also taught my daughter how to read before she went into kindergarten. A simple system I devised, of putting cards in a circle with her in the middle and then getting her to point to words, nouns, verbs etc. When children are very small they can absorb a huge amount of information that they can’t when older. She, essentially, learnt to recognize words in the same way as a Chinese person would recognize ideographs. She would then arrange the cards to make whole sentences. It was a game with a reward each time she would get something right.
          The educational system was so bad in California I would have her do homework to fill in essentials that were completely skipped in school. The irony of all this is that California school system was the best in the USA at one time. It is not the worst and has been for a long time. Well done Democrats! Even the teachers are ignorant.

      2. That offends me.
        I don’t know why. But it does. And you can’t deny my experience.

    4. At least the kids would then know the difference between their Rs and their Lbows!

    5. Both our boys were fluent readers at the age of 4..

      After brief spells in French primary schools we home-schooled them up to the age of 15 as we sailed around the Med and then sent them to boarding schools to do their “A” levels or IB. They seem to have thrived on it.

      1. At least you both had the skills and knowledge to teach them – most parents haven’t.

  49. The current energy crisis is bound to make people seriously think about chucking their gas boiler out and replacing it with a heat pump:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2fba7c40cda58605c756a06eac95ff67368cbe24c91706607509e696fceefdd.jpg

    However, this video was posted on April 1st and I seriously wondered if the author submitted it a joke:

    https://youtu.be/34slE6b6V_4

    Do you think it will ever produce hot water to the HSE requirements of 60 degC to avoid legionella bacteria?

    https://www.hse.gov.uk/healthservices/legionella.htm#:~:text=Legionella%20bacteria%20is%20commonly%20found,survive%20above%2060%C2%B0C.

    1. How much did that installation cost and do you have a spare room to install it all?

      Quite apart from that – did anyone understand the gobbledygook accompanying the video?

    3. Is that price parity with the government grant and the cheapest one, before installation costs?

      As that’s like saying the cheapest electric car can compete with the petrol car – as long as the motor, battery and drive train are not included.

    6. In other news, unicorns were seen skipping down Whitehall.*

      *according to an independent analysis.

  50. Net zero is a conspiracy against British voters. 2 April 2022.

    The law has never looked like more of an ass than in the decision by a court to issue an interim driving disqualification to a mother who used her Range Rover gently to nudge Insulate Britain protesters who were blocking the road.

    Sherrilyn Speid, 35, of Grays, Essex, pleaded guilty to a charge of dangerous driving when she appeared at Southend Magistrates’ Court on Monday.

    She had been on her way to drop her child off at school when she came across an Insulate Britain protest near the M25 last October at about 8.30am.

    Two members of the group, wearing high-vis jackets, were seen sitting in front of her vehicle while another stood in front of it, holding on to the bonnet.

    The scene was caught on camera by a passer-by and heavily bleeped footage was shown in court in which Ms Speid shouted: “Move out the way. I’m not joking, my son needs to get to school and I need to get to work.”

    It is clear whose side the public are on here.

    And this applies more generally to the green debate, as well. A recent survey found that nearly half (48 per cent) of the population thinks higher energy bills are not a price worth paying to achieve net zero – compared with just 20 per cent who said they were.

    The proportion of those unhappy to pay more to achieve net zero has risen from 40 per cent when Redfield and Wilton Strategies last asked that question in October.

    With energy prices up more than 50 per cent from yesterday, the net zero dream is about to become a nightmare for us all.
    But do the politicians see that? Of course not. As the public is confronted with the cost of decades of political complacency on energy policy, the consensus in Westminster remains overwhelmingly that net zero must stay.

    Yes but it makes a good scam!

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2022/04/02/net-zero-conspiracy-against-british-voters/

    1. Its OK for the unwashed to pull down statues and OK to for them to hold up people trying to earn a living. I think we already knew where the sympathies of the judiciary lay, once again its confirmed. Just popping out to Tesco for some antler blood, got to get my strength up for the coming revolution, might be a shortage soon…

    2. Those 20% should have the bills of those unwilling lumped on theirs. When they’re paying £500 a month for energy then they can pretend to be virtuous and glorious. In fact, let’s keep putting their bills up until they realise that their demented dream is stupid.

  51. 351801+ up ticks,

    breitbart,

    ‘Zero Accountability’ – Police Cleared in Rotherham ‘Grooming’ Rape Gangs Scandal

    Well lets face it the police have to live among the peoples of the town so they do not wish to create any bad feelings
    .
    I would lay out good money that the continuation of the close shop lab/lib/con coalition voting pattern in a short space of time one would be hard pushed to ID a virgin child in such towns as rotherham, rochdale etc, etc,etc, ongoing.

    1. Hang on – the police have been cleared of malfeasance when they ignored the victims of Pakistani Muslim paedophile rapists?

    2. Police in Scotland have had a shock. Those officers asked to give evidence in respect of their conduct in the death of Sheku Bayoh had requested an undertaking that whatever they said they would not be prosecuted or disciplined. The court has refused to allow such an undertaking.
      Gosh! It’s a surprise.
      Especially after Manchester police have failed to find out who killed a young man in Wick several years ago. The Scottish police had failed to do so at the time. That was no surprise as the rumour is that it was the police that did it.

  52. UK prevents use of private jet linked to Russian oligarchs. 2 April 2022.

    Other rules mean that other forms of transport thought to be connected to Putin’s regime can be seized.

    On Tuesday morning, a £38m superyacht, Phi, was impounded in Canary Wharf, east London. It had arrived in the capital for the World Superyacht Awards. Shapps turned up with a TV crew shortly after police boarded the boat.

    Why am I not surprised?

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/apr/02/uk-prevents-use-of-private-jet-linked-to-russian-oligarchs

  53. Good Day. While the government are uniformly jail-birds in waiting as a result of their sordid obedience to globalist murderous ambitions they are at least our own government to do with, eventually, as we please. The WHO are an altogether different brand of international parasites and sociopaths, using taxpayers cash from round the world larded with cash from Gates and other bad actors.

    They propose a WHO World Treaty, if you please, to make pandemic permanent in 2024 and to usurp national sovereignty so that we might see WHO gaulieters on our streets and enforcing God knows what evil upon us under the mantra of keeping us safe. All they deserve is impalement.

    We should make quite sure that this organisation is recognised for the corrupt and criminal organisation that it is as soon as possible.

    https://www.tarableu.com/pandemic-power-permanent-the-corrupt-who-bid-for-world-dominion/

  54. Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister’s chauffeur driven car.
    Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
    Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : ” You get out and check – you were driving.”
    The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
    ” You were driving, go and tell the farmer,” says Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.”
    The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
    ” My God, what happened to you ?” asks Nicola.
    The chauffeur replies : ” When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me.”
    ” What on earth did you say?” asks Nicola.
    ” I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I’m Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I’ve just killed the cow.”

  55. I woke up in the hospital this morning, and asked the Doctor, “what happened?”

    “Well” he said, “you were in a coma for three years. Men are now competing in women’s sport, we’ve spent the last two years battling a mutant bat virus, inflation is running at 7% and we’re on the brink of World War 3”

    “Shit” I said, “what date is it?”

    “April 1” he replied

    “Hahahaha, you had me there for a second!”

  56. I’ve met this girl at work and I’m seriously thinking of moving in with
    her. She’s not exactly pretty but she has triple glazing, a ground
    source heat pump and insulation to die for.

    1. Don’t do it Phizzee. She’ll be a wet blanket soon and then each birthday will get very expensive.

    3. 340? I thought there were 649; I realise that the 340 are the Conservatives, but all get their expenses paid.

    1. And our survey says… no!

      Instead, we will adblock your adblock detector! You do NOT get to vomit on my carpet.

      1. Obama/Biden stalled on the trade deal.

        You could try making your own. :@)

        Or eat proper sweet things like Sussex Pond Pudding !

        1. Sussex Pond Pudding. Had to look it up. Since I live in Sussex it seems only right that I know how to make it so I will try it.

          Goo Goo Bars are Chocolate, pecans or peanuts, although the one above looks like it is macadamia nuts, soft toffee, and nougat. And I am really not kidding when I say they are incredible. They are a Southern thing. A friend of mine in California, would receive a care package from his mother of things from Louisiana each month, it always contained Goo Goo bars, we would pig out on them. It’s the sort of thing you can’t stop until they are all gone.
          P.S. I take it you have eaten Cajun?

          1. The SP Pudding being suet can be quite heavy but it is a good filling Winter dish served with custard.

            I’m the same with Jaffa cakes. Can’t stop until they are all gone. It’s why i avoid buying them on a regular basis.

    2. We did have an ecomentalist veganite who refused to order pizza for the team at one place I worked. They went for some vegetable thing and… it wasn’t popular.

  61. Well, that’s 215 lightweight concrete blocks moved from a place on the East side of Nottingham to t’Lad’s place in two vanloads and by heck I’m bloody knackered!

    I didn’t realise Nottingham was such a bugger to get across too.

    3. Have they still got that one way system that was designed to make driving in and out of town a real pain?

      1. Yep! Not an easy town to get through or even round!
        And t’Lad navigated us onto the A612 that runs South of the railway when we needed to be to the North of Colwick Woods.

    4. Try Chichester. Once you are in the one way ring there is no escape. Luckily the locals take pity on out of town people and offer them Tea and sympathy. Then take delight in sending them on their way. :@(

  62. 351801+ up ticks,

    Old unstable bob & six in a row from the truth dodging cartel are pretty active.

  63. As part of the maintenance on this place we’re having a floor vinyl tiled. All set for Monday, stuff moved out, desks dismantled.

    Late Friday a phone call – ‘Oh, sorry, the stuff hasn’t arrived. We can’t do it. We’ll do it next week.’

    I admit, I’m bloody angry. Two sets of holiday booked and wasted. Disruption galore and just ‘oh, we’ll do it next week. As if I’m happy to just book another two days off.

    It isn’t just a ‘we’ll do it next week. You’ll do it when I want it done. As you’ve had a month to plan this and get the materials in. Why did you wait until the last minute? Do you think my holiday is free? How about I charge you for the wasted days? Here you go, £350 a day. What’s that? You’ve lost money? Tough!

    1. ‘It’ won’t allow/ accept my 4th attempt; I’m stuck – and I can’t share/ show the illustration.

      Had his problem before, I can’t fix it :((

        1. Yes thanks, vw; but it made no difference.
          I cannot find – there is no – acceptable first letter !!!

          1. Are you willing to disclose what you have? I usually begin with either irate or orate.

        1. Thank you Mola; I’m reluctant to compromise Wordle security on the day. I have greens for all but the first letter; I can only figure two options, one has been refused. I don’t think it has anything to do with transatlantic English … I think it is a technical prob; the page is ‘frozen’.

    3. Tough for me.
      Wordle 287 5/6

      🟩🟨⬜🟨⬜
      🟩🟩⬜🟨⬜
      🟩🟩⬜⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

  65. BBC journalism. “British troops in the Falklands.” it says below the photo. Well, indeed. You can just about see, in the distance, the British soldiers who are guarding the Argentine prisoners in the foreground of the photo. (What hope that anything the BBC reports about the Ukraine will bear any resemblance to reality?)

    https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/103E7/production/_123953566_gettyimages-110149410.jpg
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-60933534

    2. “Upon entering the store, the man politely greeted other customers and
      waited for a staff member, who had started his first day on the job, to
      serve him.”

      Was the staff member on view as well?

    3. Three women were in a launderette when a man from the lunatic asylums bursts in, rapes them all and runs away.
      The headlines read
      Nut Screws Washers and Bolts

    4. Reminds me of this guy. He was a common sight around Berkeley for a while and several people copied him. He was handsome and well built so he wasn’t to bad at all. His imitators on the other hand should have been charged with being distasteful in public.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDvPKIeXmEY

    1. Spike is wonderful!

      I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,
      I said, “You don’t belong in here.” He said ” I beg your pardon? ”
      I said “This place is England, what are you doing here?”
      He said, “Ah then, I must be lost,” and then, “Oh dear, oh dear.”

      I should be back in Africa on Serenghatti’s plain,
      Pray, where is the nearest station where I can catch a train?”
      He caught the bus to Finchley and then to Mincing Lane,
      And over the Embankment, where he got lost again.

      The police, they put him in a cell, but it was far too small,
      So they tied him to a lampost and he slept against the wall.
      But as the policemen lay sleeping by the twinkling light of dawn,
      The lampost and the wall were there but the elephant was gone!

      So, if you see an elephant in a Jumbo jet
      You can be sure that Africa’s the place he’s trying to get.

      Spike- Jumbo Jet.

  68. Just as well I didn’t volunteer as a server in church tomorrow morning. Fr Marcus has gone down with the dreaded lurgy and The Midwife (aka the Bishop of London) has offered to take the main service. They disagreed publicly over the Covid lockdowns but there now seems to be forgiveness.

    1. Go on, Our Susan – do some mortification, (it IS Lent, after all). Go and listen to the Janet and John Bible; “enjoy” the Diverse “Family” form of service – with kiddies in Messy Church….and a nice cuppa afterwards……

      You’ll earn many days respite from Purgatory.

          2. It truly does. There is not much to encourage one or to make one feel positive.

  69. Google Streetview, …………….sorry……………..GCHQ have just updated my property. I am also hearing twice a day nuclear capable bombers flying overhead. Are they trying to tell me something?

  70. That’s me for this very satisfactory day. Some 50 barrowloads of garden detritus have ended up as 3/4 of a barrowload of ash. And no one inconvenienced!

    Have a jolly evening – candles are soooo much more restful, aren’t they?

    A demain.

    2. That makes me realise how much we must burn.

      I shifted five heaped barrowloads from the bonfire site this week.

    1. I see that lager is recommended for trapping slugs. So it does have a use, after all.

        1. Making them drink lager would be classed as a ‘cruel and unusual punishment’.

          1. Choose carefully. You wouldn’t want to give them the lager that refreshes parts other lagers can’t reach.

    3. I can’t say that I am sorry. metaldehyde is evil stuff, it kills hedgehogs for a start and, as the article says, it hurts dogs too. Copper foil doesn’t work. Beer does but so does Diatomaceous earth. The problem with Diatomaceous earth is that it doesn’t work if it gets wet but there are ways around that. Devise traps that have roofs rather like a chimney flu but squatter, smaller and with ingress at the bottom. Haven’t quite figured that out yet, but when I have I will make millions and it will be mine, all mine! There are also nematodes that kill slugs, spray them around your garden and they will parasitize the slugs. It takes a while but it does work.

      https://www.traditionaloven.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/stainless-steel-chimney.jpg

        1. Seriously Plum, try the Nematodes, they really do work. They are species specific parasites for whom slugs are dinner.

        1. They are safe but do they work? I tried the sheep wool pellets and they were useless too.

      1. Amazon is evil. Part of the New World Order. I never use them other than to look for something. When I have found it, I always go elsewhere to buy. Look for books on there but buy from Abe Books, for example.

    5. I’m going to have to be creative with barriers around my runner beans. I’ve previously tried putting crushed egg shells around new plants/seedlings to no avail. Not much point putting beer traps out – I bet the neighbourhood cats would have a field day.
      I wonder if mulching with straw might help.

        1. That’s a good one, my grandad used to do that, some of the old ways are still the best!

          2. That reminds me, I must put some salt on the dandelion weeds. I left the flowers for the early pollinators but now it’s time to cut off the spent flowers before they set seed. Good dollop of salt should kill the plants. Some will get just salt, but on some I’m going to try applying a paste of salt and water. REAL science!

      2. Put a ring of copper wire around the beans. The copper and slime interact, apparently, and the slugs don’t like it up ’em.

        1. Presume copper wire can be bought in hardware or DIY shops. Worth a try, thanks and goodnight.

          2. Good morning, and thanks. I ‘ll look out fot copper tape. Unlike slug pellets, it won’t wash away in the rain so even better.

    6. That’s one way of getting shot of the awful lager someone bought me last Xmas.

    7. NOW they tell us! If they had announced it at the start of March I could have stocked up on the little blue pellets.

    8. I tried that; it wasn’t very effective. Salt is far better and more efficient.

    1. I couldn’t afford to stay in a place like that! And those free loaders get it for nothing.
      This country has gone to hell in a hand cart.

    2. NONE of them are genuine asylum seekers, just lazy, greedy, uncivilised savages who have no intention of ever ‘fitting in’. They pose a real danger to young girls and society in general. We have no idea who these creatures are.
      This continued flood is simply unsustainable. If they were only given the most basic accommodation and basic food with absolutely no money (our taxes) to spend, the message would soon get back to wherever they came from and only genuine refugees would want to come here – plus, the latter don’t destroy their documents.

        1. They have tents in France – one of the reasons they want to move on. This country is too soft.

    3. So nice to see you back here, Maggie. Hope you and your family soon recover.

    4. Money rules.
      Hope they go bust after dishonouring contracts made ages ago… maybe they shoud be sued for compo?

    5. One of the ultimate shareholders of the hotel group is an Israeli citizen, Mr Amir Dayan. The hotels have a complex ownership structure.

    1. Who is the nutter from Inverness who is so sorry for these poor men? And has the cheek to say we don’t know what we’re talking about!

      1. When you’re nearly five hundred miles from a problem, you can afford to sneer at those rather closer to events.

        1. But first, the powers that be, have to acknowledge that there is indeed a problem and do something to solve it. It seems to me that no-one in the government has a clue how upset people are with the continual denial, or even how to stop all the boats coming ashore.

        2. Oh yes! It’s the overweening sense of smugness that permeates the tweets. Makes me quite sick! I really am becoming less tolerant in my old age.
          I had a lovely compliment yesterday when I went into a local shop and a girl who was at school with our younger daughter, was on the till. I said hello and it was nice to see her and she said “you never age”! I could have kissed her! Fair made me smile, it did!

    2. Good evening Maggiebelle,

      Good to see you back.

      Are you feeling better?

      We’ve missed you.

    4. Phew, Maggie; what a relief.
      How are you feeling?
      I was really beginning to worry.

      1. Oh dear , Thank you Anne .
        We became a statistic .. the villages around here are chockablock full of Covid ..
        We went down hill rapidly, 2 weeks ago, then had our PCR tests at a testing station on the Tuesday, felt absolutely rubbish , still feel rubbish, Moh and son much better , I might need an antibiotic for gungy lungs.

        Tiredness is very draining . …and train of thought as well.

        1. It’s amazing how being physically off affects our brains.
          It certainly changes my reading tastes and as for crosswords – the clues could be written in double Dutch.

    6. Good to see you back Maggie.
      Look forward to you and your family recovering fully.

    7. Hello, Maggie. Glad you’re back posting. I hope that means you’re on the mend.

    8. The end of Johnson and his cronies is nigh.

      We are still tied to the EU, allowing the Danish, Dutch and French to plunder our fish stocks, our fish and chip shops are closing as fast as our pubs, our energy bills are trebling and our council taxes are spent on council employee pensions whilst our roads are potholed and unsafe.

      Trillions of borrowed money have been stolen by Tory despots and unscrupulous medicos and global operatives and place-men. ‘Our NHS’ is dysfunctional and our GPs asleep at the Covid trough.

      We remain under threat of mandatory vaccination passports despite proof that the ‘vaccines’ are worse than useless and positively dangerous to health.

      Our pensioners are now more likely to die from an inability to afford heating and food. That and the unremitting misery inflicted on them by our cretinous government and an evil group of pseudo scientist and behavioural psychologist advisors.

      Johnson’s demise cannot come soon enough.

      1. Spent the evening in Bath Abbey as a steward at the concert of choral music by Handel conducted by Gavin Carr. Two fabulous talented young sops soloists. Kinda lets one forget the dross and depravity of the political arena…..

        1. Crikey. That takes me back as I sang in the Abbey many years ago as a boy treble.

          The Abbey organist in those days was Dudley Holroyd and the deputy organist my woodwork
          master at the Technical School, Raymond Jones. Ray Jones was a better organist than Holroyd in my opinion.

    9. Welcome back, lovely girl.

      We hope all is at least better, if not totally mended.

      Be careful and take all the love and hugs due to you.

    3. Britain is irredemably broken and will have to be re-built from the ground upwards.

  76. A new month means a change of topic for my nightly films. This month I am starting a Judi Dench season and tonight I watched the first part (90 minutes) of a 4-part 1966 John Hopkins-written set of plays for the BBC called “Talking To A Stranger”. Excellent and highly recommended.

      2. We used to see Iris Murdoch shopping in Summertown on our way home from school (celebrity spotting teenagers!). My sister is far more literary minded than I am, and she was a great fan.

  77. Good night, everyone. Today was a much better day regarding my awful cold. After a week of this I was beginning to understand how Chris Rock must have felt after Will Smith’s face slap.

  78. Ave atque vale amici. Discurse is playing me up tonight, so I may not be around for long. I’ve got an early start in the morning, so I don’t want to be late going to bed.

  79. I am going to bed also- it is quite apparent how low I am in the pecking order here.

    Goodnight Y’All.

    2. Don’t say that, M’Lady, I personally think you are well thought of by all of us. But Good Night and sleep well.

  80. ‘Keep going well, keep going Shell….’

    Gazprom Halts Gas Shipments To Europe Via Critical Pipeline

    But it’s not just the Germans who must now make do without Russian gas supplies. British energy major Shell is being cut off from Russian supplies in response to the UK’s economic sanctions on Russia, said Dmitry Peskov, the press secretary of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

    “London wants to be the leader of everything anti-Russian. It even wants to be ahead of Washington! That’s the cost!” Peskov outlined.

    “When you’ve got them by the gas taps their hearts and minds will follow…

      1. Thanks. A bit early and a bit cold for sunfish, It was very chilly on the water this morning.

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