471 thoughts on “Christmas Day: Reasons to be cheerful as the Prime Minister leads Britain out of political deadlock”

      1. Well happy Christmas to you all from someone who can justify being up at this time of night, since I am in Canada on Eastern Standard time.

      2. Stop having fun. It can catch on to those around you, creating dangerous ripples in time and space.

        After a frenzied unwrapping, small person has started on his star destroyer.

    2. We used to have a Whirlpool washing up machine – it broke down very soon after we bought it and caused endless trouble.

      1. MOH has had over four years of hassle with Whirlpool trying to get our tumble dryer replaced.

        He finally despaired of the continual obstructionism, and drew up papers to sue them in the local Small Claims Court.

        Surprise, surprise!

        As soon as they heard about this two courteous men were sent to take the old tumble dryer away, and a couple of days later a cheque appeared.

        Take a hint Whirlpool customers.

  4. Reasons to be cheerful…..

    SIR – Douglas Murray’s uplifting article (Comment, December 21) was spot on. The Tory landslide has transformed our political landscape. Not only are we getting Brexit done, but we are also doing it with a renewed air of optimism.
    Boris Johnson has given us reason to be cheerful. He has the makings of a great prime minister, and the mandate to deliver life-changing opportunities in the North. If he delivers, the Tories will be in power for a generation.

    Dr Alistair A Donald
    Watlington, Oxfordshire

    1. Oi! I may be getting on a bit but last time I looked I definitely didn’t see any sign of crumbling.😎
      Have an enjoyable time, Elsie.

    1. Nice to see T. McGrath is really enjoying her/his/its/whatever/self:

      “Titania McGrath: I’m dreaming of a woke Christmas

      Make this the most wonderfully inclusive time of year: swap pantos for
      lectures on social justice, says an activist and intersectionalist poet
      Titania McGrath

      t’s the most problematic time of the year. Christmas manages to combine two
      of the most pernicious ideologies ever conceived: patriarchal Christianity and free-market capitalism. It is perhaps best epitomised by the advent calendar, a convention intended to encourage self-indulgence and at the same time remind us that the Virgin Mary craved chocolate for the last month of her pregnancy.

      It’s time for a new socially conscious form of Christmas, one that is more
      inclusive and intersectional. Here are my suggestions.

      Make Christmas a safe space
      Speaking as someone with self-diagnosed PTSD, I understand better than most how “triggering” some of the language and imagery associated with Christmas
      can be. For example, it is considered totally acceptable to refer to “Boxing Day” (a phrase that clearly incites violence) or “elves” (a derogatory term for people of restricted growth). References to “carols” are particularly triggering for me
      because I went to boarding school with a girl called Carol who once criticised my plaits.

      What makes matters worse, however, is the way in which Christmas traditions
      seek to promote patriarchal dominance. Think about it. We are obliged to erect in our living rooms phallic trees upon which hang none-too-subtle testicular baubles, the kind of pagan simulacra that should have died out with the ancient Phoenician harvest cults. Enough is enough.

      Christmas crackers should be banned outright. These disturbing items not only
      have a tendency to erupt in a traumatic noise but also contain offensive jokes and unflattering paper hats. Telling jokes isn’t very inclusive, because it marginalises those who have no sense of humour. I haven’t laughed since 2006, and I regret that moment even now.

      Then there is the horrendous “gingerbread man”, a common treat for young
      children, which is especially popular at this time of year. I was delighted to see that the Co-op has started selling a gender-neutral “gingerbread person”. Not only does this debunk the myth of binary gender, but it is also far less likely to rape the other biscuits.

      And don’t get me started on the vile tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. Under no circumstances should foliage be used as a conduit for sexual assault.

      Revoke Santa Any male who feels the need to don a disguise, distribute sweets to children, invite them to sit on his lap and designate them “good” or “bad” according to his tastes should be fitted with an electronic ankle tag and monitored by the authorities. Let us not forget that “Santa” is an anagram of “Satan”.

      The tradition is even worse in Latin American countries and some of the more underdeveloped parts of Europe, where the responsibility for delivering presents is believed to be undertaken by the baby Jesus. However bizarre this may seem to those of us who live in normal countries, it legitimises the practice of child labour. This is not OK.

      Think of the environment
      Everyone knows the more Christmas lights displayed on the exterior of a house, the more working-class its owners are likely to be. The trouble is that working-class people don’t seem to care about the environmental impact of such extravagances, which is why you’ll never see them at Extinction Rebellion protests. That’s why at this time of year I go from door to door educating the masses about the gospel of Greta Thunberg.

      Another great tip is to stop visiting relatives and save on petrol. Most of the
      older ones voted for Brexit anyway, so they really don’t deserve your affection. Better yet, don’t even send a Christmas card. You can do far more to conserve the forests by sending a few tweets instead. If you’re worried this might seem a bit impersonal, add an emoji to show you’ve given it some real thought.

      Above all, the most effective way to ensure your celebrations aren’t destroying the planet is to go vegan. Ten million turkeys are euthanased every year in the UK to satisfy the carnivorous bloodlust of festive revellers. That’s more than seven times
      the population of Birmingham. And yet if we all started eating Brummies there would be an outcry. Why the double standards?

      Ban pantomime
      I find it astonishing that this archaic and offensive form of entertainment is still so popular. Consider the most common stories. Sleeping Beauty is about a prince who sexually assaults an unconscious woman. Goldilocks and the Three Bears is a vile exercise in speciesism. And the overt phallocentrism of Dick Whittington and Jack and the Beanstalk is frankly unforgivable.
      Most objectionable of all is the figure of the pantomime dame, a male actor who cross-dresses in order to present a misogynistic parody of womanhood. The clear
      implication is that all middle-aged women enjoy cooking and cleaning,wear far too much make-up and resemble Christopher Biggins.

      As far as I’m concerned, any form of family entertainment that doesn’t promote
      veganism and intersectional feminism is worthless. I would like to see all pantomimes banned and replaced with extended lectures on social justice issues, such as how to dismantle institutionalised power structures, or the toxicity of straight, white, male privilege.

      Remember: if you’re having too much fun, you can’t call yourself a progressive.

      Resist capitalism
      Most retailers support capitalism, usually by buying and selling products. As a staunch socialist, I have no time whatsoever for the acquisition of goods.
      Besides, I have staff to take care of that kind of thing. (Although I usually let them have Christmas Day off, as long as the pelmets are properly dusted.)

      Those of you who have read my book will know about my opposition to capitalism. For those of you who haven’t read my book, it’s available on Amazon and would make a fantastic Christmas gift.

      If you must exchange gifts with “loved ones”, it is incumbent on you to ensure your choices are ethical. When buying a present for a child, why not take the opportunity to educate them about their privilege? Last year, for instance, instead of giving my five-year-old nephew a typical Christmas gift, I smashed up 20% of his other presents with a hammer to teach him how it feels to be a casualty of the gender pay gap. He was so grateful he actually cried.

      All things considered, it would probably be much simpler to boycott the entire holiday season. For my part, I intend to spend Christmas at my chalet in Val d’Isère, where I can spend some time contemplating the ways in which I continue to be oppressed.

      Happy Kwanzaa.”

      Woke: A Guide to Social Justice,
      by Titania McGrath, is published by Constable at £12.99. Titania’s
      creator, Andrew Doyle, joins Douglas Murray on a nationwide tour next
      year (resistingwokeness.com)

      1. Yawns…..

        Sorry – Once I’d got the joke, it began to pale. Now it is just flogging a dead wotsit.

          1. He hasn’t had his thistles this morning and, worse than Rastus or the rest of us on this blog, keeps banging on day in and day out about how yawningly superior he is coz he got the joke before most people. Just thank God that we don’t have to be the MR. {:^))

          3. Oh – your Christmas spirit didn’t last long…{:¬))

            The thing about Titi is that it was very funny a couple of years ago, but went on too long. We all got it – and the snowflakes didn’t – which was funny in itself. But …..

          4. Not everyone knows.
            On the plus side, I needn’t buy you birthday tickets to listen to Andrew Doyle and Douglas Murray.

          5. As all on this blog know well, I haven’t been around a Titi in many a long year and only stumbled into Ms McGrath recently. I agree that her appeal is beginning to pall but I will take what small pleasures it affords in the meantime.

          6. Oh, a down vote.

            No – I just don’t find the relentless “satire” funny any more. It was very funny to begin with.

  13. Disgust seems to be broken…but may I wish all Nottlrs a happy and peaceful Christmas if it decides to work again.

  15. Merry Christmas everyone!

    Disqus is being temperamental this morning. Dark and 3 degrees C in York but dry.

    1. Morning Sue

      Why does my pore brane associate you with Morpeth? York is very nice (I went to skule just north of there) but try not to stay dry all day.

        1. She isn’t a patch on our Devizes Father Christmas. Buggered orff leaving empty bottles scattered around the floor, a few crumbs of mince pies trampled into the carpet, reindeer shit all over the back yard, broken six-bar gate, and next to nothing in my stocking. It can’t be that I have I been bad, could it?

          Thank you, Bill (if it was indeed you) for alerting me to the uninterrupted joys of Radio Suisse Classique [FR] which is my almost constant companion nowadays. Truly the gift of a lifetime.

          .If you ever need to remind the MR that she could have done worse, just mention me to her.

          Yours aye
          Citroen

          2. SIR – For anyone who, like us, has abandoned the Today programme as their breakfast radio station, can I suggest Charles Nove on Scala Radio?

            Witty humour, a couple of puzzles and uplifting music: what could be better?

            David Benton
            Wadebridge, Cornwall

            Nor me

  17. A very Merry Christmas to you all. Eat and drink with joy.

    A gorgeous morning in Laure Minervois.

          2. Morning, Noel.
            Back to the days when Queen Salote’s build was unusual. Nowadays to be seen stomping down any High Street.

          3. I can remember 2 things about that queen at our own queen’s coronation…

            1 She sat in the drizzle in her open carriage & refused to have it closed. “The people have come to see me & they shall”.

            2.Sitting with her in the carriage was her tiny prime minister. One of the BBC commentators was heard to mutter, “I see she’s brought her lunch.” Imagine that today.

          4. The lunch comment was attributed to Noel Coward.
            It could be appo … appycropful …. apokrifle …. whatever.

          6. I have absolutely no idea.
            We were on a camping holiday.
            So, for me, the weather was par for the course.

          7. We were gathered round the tiny b/w tv in an enormous cabinet which my father & grandfather had gone 1/2s on for the occasion.

          8. Happy Christmas, peddy

            A true story:

            At one point in my gap year working my way (with an address book) around the world, I was a labourer on a building site in Christchurch, New Zealand and sharing a flat with three trainee doctors who were much given to the indescribably appalling and tasteless filthy humour of their ilk, with which you are no doubt familiar. They introduced me to a student nurse from their hospital. She was gorgeous and unusually svelt for a Tongan. We became great friends and a bit more (somewhere there is a photograph of the pair of us, aged 18, at the Christchurch Hospital Nurses’ Ball). She was extremely graceful but very naive so I wasn’t entirely stunned when I learned that she wasn’t just Nursey S, but Princess S, the granddaughter of Queen Salote. I then did my patriotic duty by dedicating our next Sunday afternoon walk marching her up and down the towpath alongside the (Christchurch) Avon, lecturing her on the necessity to never repeat any of the filthy jokes and foul language that she had heard in the medics’ flat once she returned to Court in Nuku’alofa lest it shatter the cohesion of the Commonwealth. She assured me that she hadn’t understood any of the jokes in the first place. When I departed on the next leg of my journey to Australia, I was astonished to find S and two senior officers from the Tongan consulate in full-dress uniform waiting to wave me off. Many, many, many years later I received an invitation to attend the Memorial Service for King George Tupou V at Wesley’s Chapel, EC1. http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/0807/ea03791964642e7f49f7.jpeg
            It was quite the most joyous occasion imaginable with singing that would put the choir of St John’s (currently the best in Cantab) to shame and lots of Tongan rugby union players whom I recognised. They are refreshingly old fashioned and patriotic as a nation but managed to make everyone feel included.

            Don’t anyone dare cast nasturtiums at any Tongans because I will take out my teeth and then thump them on behalf of Princess S.

          9. I understand that Tongans make up a noticeable & effective part of the British army. No p taking from me.

      1. I can’t make up my mind whether they are wearing black gloves or are a row of amputees.

  18. Yo Ho Ho Nottlers

    Seasons grettings to you all

    Here in ‘sunny’ Spain, it is ………………. sunny, but the temperature is only 3.5 deg C

    BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

          1. 0°C when I got the milk in earlier.
            Because we get 3 days delivered at once, it has to stay out in the crate until there’s room in the fridge.
            We’ve only 3 of the brood for Christmas, Dr. Daughter’s on duty until tomorrow evening.

          5. Morning Bill

            Was frosty here , blue sky and sunshine .

            Rib of beef today .. by popular request .. just four of us .. old friend , eldest son and Moh and me … and of course 2 dogs !

        1. So good, Joseph, to see someone aware of the correct (although archaic) spelling of the verb.

    4. I can remember gong into the sea at Lulworth in March. Beautiful sunny day but I had a brass monkey experience.

  22. Oh well, before I slip effortlessly into my cooking, catering and entertaining duties while multi tasking with the hangover from Christmas Eve may I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and, if I’m not back before then, a very Happy and Prosperous New Year.

  25. SIR – All but one of the constituencies that the Conservatives gained from Labour supported Brexit in 2016. It was therefore disingenuous of Tony Blair to state that Labour’s defeat was “only secondarily a Brexit problem”.

    Moreover, most of Labour’s leadership candidates appear, like Mr Blair, to be in denial about the urgent need for their party to cease being seen to undermine the Government’s position in the forthcoming trade negotiations.

    Mr Blair was right to warn his party to jettison its recent manifesto, but he too is living on fantasy island if he believes Labour can succeed as an anti-Brexit party. By the next election, Britain will have been outside the EU for five years, the transition period will have ended four years previously and the country’s destiny redefined as a self-governing, free-trading global power. Among the public, it will be hard to find anyone willing to admit to having voted Remain.

    Philip Duly
    Haslemere, Surrey

    Not so sure about your last sentence, Pee Duly. The Beeb will still be airing photographs of children on the floor in hospitals or being dug out of the rubble in Aleppo and blaming it on Brexit.

    1. Morning Z,
      By the same token there are no cross parties innocents in the latter years of governance of these Isles.
      The lab/lib/con coalition proved to be just that in their pro eu stance.
      Personally I would hate to see the return of vote in to keep out, party first,
      regardless of consequence.

    2. Mr Cameron stated recently that he felt that the public didn’t understand the advantages and disadvantages of the EU.

      I think a lot of people do. They understand that the disadvantages and costs fall on the ordinary citizen, whilst the
      advantages and profit are taken by the political, intellectual, big business, wealthy and celebrity class.

      1. Morning J,
        A great many peoples really could not understand the wretch cameron and his approach to animal husbandry,
        especially in the pig department.

        1. What worries us is that he got a First in PPE from Oxford.

          What about the less competent who got a Second or Third?

          2. It’s quite humbling to read biographies of the younger Pitt (PM at age 24) and Peel – two of our greatest politicians – and realising what intellectual giants and great independent thinkers they were. Churchill was in the same bracket.

      2. He’s right -you’re right in that they see massive amounts of money going to the EU and not a lot coming back, but people don’t understand what the extent the EU has infiltrated this country.

        If you ask them why we can’t dredge rivers they won’t know that it is EU law that prevents it
        If you ask them why we can’t build reservoirs (and water companies have asked to) that’s because of the EU.

        If you ask them about debt harmonisation they simply won’t understand what it means.
        They don’t understand the extent of green taxation and policy – all coming from the EU.

        Few know that VAT goes almost entirely to the EU.

        They don’t know that bin collections are controlled by the EU.

        They’ve no idea that the plastic waste we generate and that the Lefty greens wail about – and people are genuinely concerned about – is caused by EU policy preventing us dealing with it locally.

        People might expect and not be surprised by the level of fraud, corruption and theft but most would. Oh they know most there are bent but they don’t know the extent of the waste and back handers.

        People don’t understand just how damaging the EU is – by policy. If the Leave campaign had talked about things like the Barcelona treaty (which encourages sub Sarahan Africans to move to the EU lord knows what the result would have been.

        The gross amount isn’t the headline. The 0.7 of GDP also goes to the EU from foreign aid – monies which the EU spends promoting the EU. The mess in Ukraine is caused by our money.

        1. Old fart, quite a spray here. Which Barcelona treaty encourages sub Saharan Africans to move to the EU? And how does that affect the boondocks where you live?

    3. The problem with the Labour Party is that it no longer represents the working class and is out of touch with the rest of the country outside London.

  26. Morning, Campers: even on Christmas Day, you can learn something new.
    A nugget of info. from Giles Brandreth if the festive chit chat flags.

    “The Byron I like to salute at Christmas is not the poet, Lord Byron, but his second cousin, H J Byron, the Victorian playwright who created and named two of the great characters of English pantomime. In 1860 he invented Buttons for his Cinderella and in 1861 he gave Aladdin a mother and called her Widow Twankey. Oh yes he did. Merry Christmas!”

  27. SIR – In the catalogue to the John Harvard Library here in Borough, a search for “Wordsworth, William” produces six titles – which, sorted by relevance, begin with Vanity Fair and Much Ado About Nothing (published by Wordsworth Editions). The poetry shelves have no Wordsworth, but there are five volumes of Carol Ann Duffy.

    Books not taken out every two years are apparently “withdrawn”, to be replaced by new titles arriving unbidden from Southwark’s central “Bib” supplies. How many or at what cost are not public knowledge.

    The head of the library readily agreed that some books are requisites of a public library, and was delighted by my offer to send a starter list to a higher authority. There would easily be room for them were it not for the coffee shop, creche and DVDs, and if the highest shelf didn’t have to be accessible without steps – to a six-year-old. In the meantime, the library’s footfall is excellent.

    Jim McCue
    London SE1

    Who wouda thunk it? With all due deference to LotL, many librarians have a Common Purpose.

  28. I’m only posting these thingies because I’m a thoroughly nice chap and thinking of the needy at this time of year

    SIR – We live in Cumbria. Over 10 years ago, some friends of friends stayed with us in the middle of January. The man had studied environmental science and objected strongly and rudely – to my SUV, which in those days was a rather ancient Land Rover Freelander.

    On the day of his departure, we had a smattering of snow, and I had to hide a wry smile as his brand-new Renault saloon slithered about on our steep drive, eventually sliding down a bank and under a rhododendron.

    He then had to be towed out by – of course – my environmentally unfriendly four-wheel-drive car.

    SUVs are not necessary for city-dwellers or those in towns who only have to do the school run. But for those of us living in rural areas, with copious deep puddles, along with ice and snow, they are essential.

    Please, oh savers of the planet, don’t tar all SUV-drivers with the same brush.

    Louise Broughton
    Bowness-on-Windermere, Cumbria

    And…

    SIR – Victoria Falls has not dried up – and a “dry” falls is, in fact, part of a normal, yearly cycle.

    There is always lots of water on the Zimbabwean side of Victoria Falls, and, late in the dry season (October/November), very little water reaches the Zambian side. However, due to exceptionally low rainfall in the catchment area during the last rainy season, the water lever is at lowest since 1996. This will continue to drop, as usual, until the rains start in the catchment area north of the Falls.

    Dave Christian
    Southampton

  29. Happy Christmas morn, everyone. A fine day (sort of) oop here in t’Dales. Dog walking now. Enjoy the day, seize the moment.

        2. Dear skronk I can’t spell. WHy, despite so much effort, does a 6 year old wake up at 6am?

          War queen has taken Mongo, Jerry and junior for a walk so I can do the last present, drink a coffee and generally be a miserable git.

          1. 6.0 am? You had it lucky.
            It was usually 4.0 am, just after MB and i had crawled into bed and drifted off.

        3. I have upvoted you, but I can’t resist pointing out it’s carpe canem (canis, canis) 🙂 Merry Christmas.

  30. The MR and I watched Sleb University Challenge – a day behind. So last evening, it was Clare College against Leeds (who slaughtered them).

    I was disappointed that Allison Pearson didn’t do better. No surprise, though, that the dim head of Ofsted, Amanda Spielman (in charge of edjakashun) was completely useless.

    1. I have 3 x “bright sons” – graduate engineers, 20+ years work experience, senior positions and well paid, I mean really well paid. General knowledge, as covered in University Challenge, they would be absolutely useless.

      I my opinion I have a reasonably good General Knowledge I do quite well in answering UC questions – however, I feel the balance questions are slanted more to the arts rather than sciences.

      Only Connect – I never miss it but struggle the majority of the time. If you fancy a challenge tune it – there are some brilliant contestants + more than the odd weirdo(s)

      1. Glad you enjoyed it. After about ten minutes, I forgot that it was Tony Hopkins and Jonathan Pryce and believed I was listening to the two characters.

    1. Come cheer up, my lads! ’tis to glory we steer,
      To add something more to this wonderful year;
      To honour we call you, not press you like slaves,
      For who are so free as the sons of the waves

      Heart of oak are our ships, heart of oak are our men;
      We always are ready, steady, boys, steady!
      We’ll fight and we’ll conquer again and again

      1. My God, Basset, thank you, years since I heard those words and they ring in my head today as they did when I was a pupil at both Dtchingham and Bungay Primary Schools.

        1. I remember that from my primary school, too. Along with, “and shall Trelawny die? Here’s twenty thousand Cornishmen will know the reason why”. Quite why we sang that when we were so far from the sea, let alone Cornwall, I have no idea!

          1. Not really growing up in the UK, I never got all this patriotic stuff. Instead, two recent historic British things stand out in my mind, that represent the Best of British.
            One is accepting Jewish children on the Kindertransport and making them feel at home. I worked with two, some years ago, whose family were not so fortunate.
            The second is going to war in support of Poland.
            They represent a spirit of compassion and doing the right, not expedient thing.
            To be proud of. Represents the people in a way that the politicians don’t, and makes understandable the recent election result.

          2. We also went to war over Belgian neutrality in 1914 (have just finished reading “1914, The Fateful Year – a year that started in peace and ended in war”.

          3. Bloot, tears and folly, by Len Deighton (Kindle) is an excellent description of how it all worked. Cick-up that ended the right way, but with colossal human and financial consequences.

    2. Ahem…the Union Flag is upside down, and yet our distress ended, I thought, on the 12th of this month…

    1. Well done the nuns.
      Especially as they were up and down most of the night like a fiddler’s elbow.

  34. Happy Christmas to Nottlers one and all, before I head off to witness the grand present opening event by the grandchildren interspersed with church. Hark! I think I hear activity in the sitting room below my bedroom, time to betake myself downstairs.

    (And should anyone feel the need of weather check for the Hants-Wilts border – beautiful sunny, but frosty, morning.)

    1. Similar here in Gloucestershire too – sunny with the mist rising over the valley.

      Happy Christmas all!

  36. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8b0201d0ce216bf47c90009a816cc3e938ed5c831ca334391089368c07edf032.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c6bec547135e717ac0839bf43bbeda8adadbbb917ca87a8cc5dca73c457436b.jpg

    Son has just had a stroll around the village with one of our dogs .. this is what confronted him, a desperate struggling squeaking rat trapped in a piece of plastic tubing ..

    Plastic pollution is one of the many evils that is amongst us now… and how do we deal with it..?

    Poor rat.. another dog walker dealt with it . Amen .

    1. Before we had plastic bottles, a good way to catch mice was to leave a glass pop bottle on a field edge or a ditch where there was likely to be a mouse run. The neck of the bottle would be propped on a half brick or something like that, with the base of the bottle on the ground and a few grains of corn placed in the bottle.

      Your mouse would investigate, climb into the bottle through the elevated opening to get at the grain, then the slope and slipperiness of the glass would ensure that it couldn’t get out again until the bottle was checked and the mouse recovered.

      What you did with the mouse afterwards was up to you. Never did it myself, but that’s the method.

      I often used to see discarded bottles on roadsides, with the decomposed remains of unintentionally caught rodents dissolving in a pool of rainwater in the bottle.

      1. A local method for trapping chipmunks and mice is to put about an inch of water in a bucket then drop in a few sunflower seeds. They rodents find their way into the bucket but cannot escape.

    3. Hmmm. I was going “Redneck Deep-South Hillbilly” for lunch today, but that piece of plastic disguised as a woman is a bridge too far.

      1. Yes, I worked Xmas eve night shift. I’m also on new years eve night and new years day night. Got 5 days off now though. Back to work on the 30th.

  41. Happy Christmas everyone!

    I’m about to depart to the kitchen for the day’s cookathon. I may be some time.

  42. For the next hour, I shall be mainly skyping – grandchildren.

    I’ll look in later. Enjoy the morning.

    2. If only we could. Text even would be good! It’s grim oop north, no signal, praise the Lord.

      Happy Christmas, Mr T.

  43. About to go and collect my Alzheimered cousin to bring her back here for Christmas, all the ingredients having been sorted and the timetable prepared. I have phoned and she has remembered to get dressed.

    Did anyone notice, prominently placed in the plebeian section of the worshippers at the pre-recorded “Carols From King’s” programme, was one Lord Hallhall? Damn fellow didn’t even graduate from Cambridge, PPE from Oxford…

    (Not that I watch BBC or anything since I have no licence)

    1. The proper pilot had been taken ill and a cabin staff man took control and landed it.

      It was his first day as an air steward

    1. That bit about “exotic places” reminded me of visiting a friend in Oz. He said he loved the exotic locations in Biggles books – London, the West Country, Scotland … 🙂

      1. Unfortunately and despite the pathetic doom-mongers amongst us, so does half the world. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t break their necks trying to get here.

  47. Skype over – time to bring the washing in. It is so warm here (unseasonably) that a line of heavy stuff was dry in in two hours.

    Then off to Dutch chums for an Albert Hein* Christmas lunch. See you on Boxing Day.

    * Like Sainsbury’s… They bring everything down from Holland. Apart from wine and potatoes – it will ALL by AH!!

  50. Morning Each,
    Far,far to early to trust anyone or anything supposedly pro UK coming from the direction of the tory party.
    This johnson chap along with the rest of the politico’s
    have been happily rubber stamping the eu mafias material for years until……..
    Some realised that they had gone to far when the murder, rape & abuse, acid scarring, knifing’s, crime figures was outnumbering their incoming votes.
    Political lifestyles & power were in jeopardy & that was not to be tolerated, hence change & sacrifice.
    The lab segment of the coalition annihilated, johnson &
    tories look good, still the leading shout.
    The misdemeanors of the last couple of decades seemingly forgotten.
    Until I hear the exit door slam behind us with a total severance deal in front of us I believe none of the 650.
    Until the fat lady gives a final aria on the brexit door closing behind us, trust none.
    Finally IMO johnson still rates as a pro eu latchlifter.

      1. It’s Amurka…so the class action lawyers will know exactly how large their fees can be leaving, at most, four cents to be divided up amongst the families of the victims.

  52. Just been out for a pre-prandial , the sun is shining, the sky is blue, we seem to have political stability at last but most enjoyably we have the local stalwarts ( or nutters ) taking a Christmas dip in our marine lake –

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8b91197b99f0fc53f2f0d9ee9a42aa79f26ad7a1bad4532e2624219e699ae08a.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/50fcc6da5aae0586ab5428d2d9e4db35748dc1d4b043cbcdadf31acf759dab4f.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a13e0497188ac8c970489029a8df02febfb958563d5ce6634aaa5880c5eff2ca.jpg

    and finally for the girls ,according to SWMBO but I can’t see it myself, these two brave chaps have some sort of attraction ;-

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/04d22bbbeb7793b6ccec1aeb722f87476e207a84840bb67776a91a1e257e7e51.jpg

    1. That last photo was taken at an unfortunate moment between them. Unless he is doing a card trick.

  53. Good morning, and a very Merry Christmas to one and all. Now to open all my presents and see if Santa has brought me an oven-ready turkey as requested. If not, I have a back-up plan of salmon which is sitting in the fridge labelled “Best by December the 25th”. I certainly am having a smorgasbord of unusual meals over this festive season.

    PS – With regards to the “Once A Year Day” song someone posted for me on my recent birthday I finally caught up with watching “The Pajama Game” on YouTube yesterday. It was dubbed in Italian (close enough to Spanish for me to understand) with the songs left in the original English sung by Doris Day and others. Certainly, this has been a most unusual and happy season for me.

    Toodle-pip for now, chaps and chapesses! Don’t overdo the medication and play nicely, as Uncle Bill would say, or I’ll be round to box your ears on Boxing Day.

    1. Yo Ho Ho Ms Elsie

      Seasons Greetings to you

      PS You did not have a use bite Year for your Salmon.

      Could it be Gravalax

      Gravlax is one of the few world-famous Scandinavian dishes out there, and while many know that it is basically prepared with salmon and
      herbs, few know its ancient, Arctic history.

      The origin of gravlax can be traced all the way back to 14th-century North-Sweden. In the Middle-Ages, salt was expensive and most foods had to be preserved using alternative methods. In North-Sweden, peasants and fishermen developed a unique technique called gravad lax (“buried salmon” hence the name gravlax): The filleted salmon was placed in a hole in the earth, covered with birch bark and laid in a bath of water, the fish’s own
      blood and various spices and herbs. The result was a rather strong-smelling product that would be closer to todays infamous surströmming (fermented herring) than the gravlax that is eaten nowadays.

      1. What a palaver, OLT. I’ll stick to my meal of salmon with all the trimmings this evening and avoid digging holes in the garden and laying (lying?) in a cold bath whilst being birched by an overweight Brunhilde singing Wagner!

        :-))

        2. I make gravlax quite often.
          In fact, it’s one of the starters on Sunday when the family come round to be fed after their week in Denmark.

    3. My waking moment was met by Neil Gaiman describing his birthday party where none of the invited guests turned up, and it was celebrated with jelly and blancmange and trifle and 14 empty fold-up chairs, and a black kitten called Fluffy, which in his imagination became like Puss in Boots. It was run over by a tradesman a few weeks later, who replaced Fluffy with a large malevolent ginger Tom called Monster who glowered hate and killed songbirds.

      I first got to hear of Neil Gaiman when a sequel to his poem ‘The Sweeper of Dreams’ was set to music in 2012 by a girl of seven who was told that little girls cannot write opera.

      Yesterday afternoon, I sat alone in a large Pugin-designed convent repurposed as a luxury hotel when the fourteen surviving nuns moved out to a windswept purpose-built smallholding on a bleak Yorkshire moor. I was an hour early for the carol concert my choirmaster agreed to in order to get a discount on the booking fee for the Christmas concerts. I sat in a corridor with a pile of the I newspaper, nearly all of whose articles I disagreed with, and sat and pondered the BBC remake of ‘A Christmas Carol’ where Scrooge was made out to be a stereotypical unwoke baddie, being pretty well everything I am and therefore fair game for group hatred. (The ladies in the choir loved the BBC remake, but then they are women and are used to all men being portrayed as irredeemably bad.)

      How I hate Facebook, which posts comments when attempting to start a new paragraph (the Twitter folk never write more than one paragraph), and the workround (Ctrl + Enter) on Disqus posts the comment, forcing me to edit comment. Very few of my comments are unedited for this reason…

      Back to Scrooge, I wanted him to be like me – basically a kind man, but deeply disillusioned with humanity, with the way of the world, and above all with Christmas. It is all very well for Dickens to make him feel guilty and determined to improve himself by the appearances of all these ghosts, but if I were to encounter them, it would just reinforce my view of the world, and my sense that it was futile doing anything about it in the short time I have left before I descend to eternal oblivion, How could such a character be redeemed?

      Before I continue with this post, I throw it open to others, for their ideas…

  54. It has gone very quiet. I guess everyone has the nosebag on. I’m waiting to be collected for lunch.

    1. Child’s pose is easy? My only problem is because my knee wigs out if it’s under that tension, I usually stretch it behind me.

    3. Afternoon PT,
      Peoples keep up the same voting pattern and that position will be taken up five times a day, it is called the submission position.

      1. Ogga, don’t be a silly boy – today is Christmas, save the vitriol for the other 365, next year.

        1. NtN,
          Just another comment from the three monkey brigade.
          This boy is certainly not silly the peoples concerned with carrying out atrocities during the past years don’t take a day off.
          Plus the monkey brigade in the polling booth are just as dangerous.

        3. It’s hardly vitriol, NTN. He could give it a rest today, but you have to admit he has a point. Happy Christmas while we can celebrate it. My Canadian friends sent me a card with Bonne Fêtes, rather than Joyeux Noël on it.

  58. The Dreaded Brussels
    Morrisons supermarket swapped the name “Brussels”to various UK counties because customers wanted to know where their sprouts came from. Morrisons denied accusations that it was appealing to shoppers that did not like the EU.
    https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1221034/brexit-news-morrisons-supermarket-brussels-sprouts-leave-EU-nigel-farage-brexit-party

    I would re-name Brussels sprouts – Losers…..
    ……
    My unpublished letter to the D/Telegraph.

    Dear Sir-
    After a busy morning shopping for presents and Christmas fayre I headed for the greengrocers to buy vegetables.
    “We’re almost out of Brussels”, said the greengrocer.

    Yours faithfully

    .

      1. “Why do we commemorate a person who’s political ideology has caused the deaths of so many people?

        We don’t – we consign him and his Corbynista followers to the dustbin of history – another failure.

    2. I went to their ‘Contact us’ twit at the bottom to tell them that I’d rather not support them but it wouldn’t respond; so typical of the Graudian, full of mistaken people, ideas, editorials and direction. The sooner it dies the better – what will the bereft left do for a shoulder to cry upon?

          1. I can only wish you (and your friend, Mags) the very best for now and the future year. Love and hugs to you all.

  64. I stayed in last night and stumbled across a bare bum in BBC’s Christmas Carol. What the dickens and what page in the book is it on?

    One thing I did watch was a programme about the Middle East and its shifting alliances. Blair and his cronies have a lot to answer for in dragging us into that minefield.

    Not only do we need to get out of the EU, we need to stop poking our hooter into other people’s complex wars.

      1. NoToNanny – I thought “What is going on here?” But I persevered and it was WELL worth it. That is one of the best “modern” versions that I have seen. It has obviously attracted the ire of the “Politically Correct” snowflakes because it has been given 1,400 downvotes out of 4 million views, and, as one person asked, how can so many have disliked it? Some of the answers pointed to why:

        “It is a Christmas song sung beautifully by a group made up only of white people.”

        It does go slightly odd for 20 seconds in the middle, but they obviously had some instrument players amongst them who wanted to show their skills. Just start the song at 57 seconds to skip the winter walk. It is very good imho, and a nice way to end Christmas day. 🙂

        1. Why are razors so expensive.. They are such cheap plastic rubbish .. and don’t last very long as Moh says .. but they cost a fortune and have security tabs on them like spirits and liqueurs.

          2. Gillette made a tactical error many years ago on the scale of the everlasting light-bulb. They released the Sensor Excel which is as tough as old boots and will survive a nuclear war:

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bbcaf9928037de76005343f86c448e28e098d318b3e901ec322f4cb5de71443b.jpg

            I have been using the same base unit that I bought 25 years ago and it is still going strong. As for the replaceable blades, they give me the closest shave that I have ever felt short of the old cut-throat ones by a professional barber. They are so sharp that I had to warn a friend to go slow when he borrowed it and I placed a new blade on, so that he could realise how sharp it was without cutting his face to pieces. He bought one for himself after that experience.

            A pack of 5 refills lasts me well over a year. In fact I cannot remember the last time that I needed to change it. All of this meant, of course, that sales would fall because it was so well made. So now they make modern razors to break and get worn out far more easily.

          3. I inherited five cut throat razors last year. They are frighteningly sharp, sharper than my Marples chisels. Four were made in Sheffield and the fifth in Solingen Germany. The Solingen cut throat is the most beautifully crafted of the five.

            I have no idea what to do with them. I am sticking with disposable Gillette plastic ones.

            Anyone have any suggestions?

          5. Yes, well they still sell the replacement blades. They had them on offer a few years ago and I bought 10 boxes of 10 refills, which may be more of them than I can use in the next 25 years, they last so long. 🙂

  67. The Guardian report of the Queen’s Speech is just up.
    How sad to spoil Christmas Day with so much anti-Royalty propaganda and malice.
    Our Royal Family, whatever you think of them, provide us with a stability that few other countries possess.

    1. The Queen’s Speech was faultless and very measured. Most welcome after all the political shenanigans we have endured in the past year. Truly an example to us all.

      3. Their quoted circulation numbers continue to sink – they are about 1/10th of the Mail, whose readers they seem to hate and despise. I love reading the BTL comments, as most of those commenting seem to be a about three steps to the left of Marx, and totally out of touch with reality. Only problem is, fewer and fewer Graun articles allow comments. Running out of money for mods, maybe?

          1. That’s ‘cos on;y about 3 or 4 articles allow comments, and by the time I do my morning read, they have already cut off comments for anything where I can go and upset the snowflakes. So much for that international audience they keep going on about.

  69. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc26b36be3081fddb6b4456e6131de715e19c35e1b08d96bf449bc9be6d6e8e9.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/838846390c1d343522ec8c5a70c74d4834d92681e7d9ea65e1b928f895c8a8e4.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/35cfc5061c58b7778aeb2f91ccd3d597b63d14c8c3eac08e3403279716a9e214.jpg

    Southern Fried Chicken with “Franks RedHot Cayenne Pepper Sauce” for lunch today, as I have a good roast dinner every week and wanted something different. So I thought I would “go rustic.” Merry Christmas. 🙂

  70. Rib of beef for us today … long slow cook on low temperature. it was succulent and tender .. Parsnips were delicious , carrots and broccoli stems , roast potatoes .. We just couldn’t face the palaver of a turkey. The 6lb rib consisting of 2 large ribs cost the price of a mortgage in the 1970’s.. but wow , a memorable beautiful flavour .. West country beef, Devon red I think. A real Christmas treat.. supporting our farmers!

    1. We had a bronze turkey. I have got a piece of beef for younger son’s birthday, but I think we might have to have it the night before as he’s on his way back to Switzerland on his birthday.

        1. No matter. It’s the thought that counts.

          She probably eats raw brussel sprouts too. And raw potatoes with the soil still on them.

          Drinks nothing but vinegar, undiluted.

    4. Are you trying to torture us ? Greta and Theresa – can’t we have a day without these evil creatures ?

  74. Well done to everyone from Nottler and further afield who have accumulated lots of upticks for their succinct comments on DT letters .

    A brilliant read and a few wry smiles from me .

  76. Tomorrow’s shopping predictions –

    ” bank holiday queues are expected to be up to 2% shorter than they used to be ”

    Does ” up to 2% shorter than they used to be “, mean anything ?

    2. They love to tell you stuff is five times less too.

      And don’t get me started about ‘Ten-year-anniversary’ and its various offshoots.

      2. Umm… Humour, I hope, but rather not funny, Hat.
        Hope you & yours are well. No “festive” rockets, I hope fervently.

          1. It must be extremely irritating to have those rockets fired at random day in and day out. On the plus side Corbyn was defeated so there is still hope.

  79. Merry Christmas, everybody! Hope the day has gone well. I have cooked Christmas lunch for the fourth year running and this time I seem to be getting the hang of it! 🙂

    2. I normally have a nice roast dinner every week and had one a few days ago, so I thought I would try something different today and went “Deep South USA Hillbilly” and had Southern Fried Chicken for a change. I’m not a massive fan of chicken, preferring beef or pork, but I only have it once or twice a year so I heated the oven up.

      It was exceptionally tasty, but after reading the comments below I now have the hankering for a full roast meal. Which I suspect would be unwise if I started making it at 07:20 PM. 🙂

      There is always tomorrow. I could just do the potatoes though… swimming in beef fat… No. Must resist.

    3. I normally have a nice roast dinner every week and had one a few days ago, so I thought I would try something different today and went “Deep South USA Hillbilly” and had Southern Fried Chicken for a change. I’m not a massive fan of chicken, preferring beef or pork, but I only have it once or twice a year so I heated the oven up.

      It was exceptionally tasty, but after reading the comments below I now have the hankering for a full roast meal. Which I suspect would be unwise if I started making it at 07:20 PM. 🙂

      There is always tomorrow. I could just do the potatoes though… swimming in beef fat… No. Must resist.

  80. Bugger.
    Pub not open :-(( I guess they need a break, but so do I, from family and shite tv.

    2. I usually go out Tuesday night but last night being pushin’ and shovin’ night I stayed in.

      A pub I go in will be open tonight so I’m going there tonight instead. I’ll have a pint for you Ob.

        1. Lovely Norwegian Forest Cat. They are so brave. Neighbours lost two including a champion show-cat run over in the village.

          We almost adopted a stray Maine Coone (very similar in appearance) but it upset our two cats so we reluctantly took him to the Blue Cross in Cambridge. We had the vet sort out his matted fur, necessary injections and burnt ears before letting him go. Still sad to have given him up.

          1. The Norsk Skogskatt are very friendly to people and our two have a lot of character. Big Cat (in the picture) is 10kg of cool calm, aloof, thinking cat. Little Cat (7,3kg) is very doglike rushing about & wanting to be loved. They get on really well together.
            Big will wait, on guard for hours, to catch a mouse, then BAM! A paw like a garden spade finishes the mouse when it makes a mistake.

          3. Over 10kg of cat can be quite persuasive!
            And fuzzy & warm. Purrs like a Detroit diesel, so he does.

          4. He is a lovely boy. We had a very heavy but soft black & white adopted from Blue Cross in Cambridge. Musky was run over by some idiots in a jeep who drove through the village at speed without lights in the late evening.

            He died after about fifteen minutes once I had brought him indoors. His soul mate, a smaller but still large cat, Timmy, a Tabby, was intent on licking him. Afterwards Timmy was diagnosed with diabetes and we kept him alive for a further ten years with daily injections of insulin.

            We have photos of both cats frolicking in the snow in the churchyard opposite our house.

            Musky would catch and fetch mice from the fields, toy with them, get bored and leave the mice to Timmy to dispatch. In their prime they were a great team.

          5. That’s sad.
            Big & Little belong to each of my lads, and Big should really be moved to Firstborn’s farm, but he won’t, as they don’t like to be separated.
            That means they live with SWMBO & me, which is fine by us!

  83. Evening All
    Back from sister’s feeling very spoilt,gammon ham joint,large chicken all the trimmings another guest did the wine including an amazing dessert wine Presse d’Evan

    Hic

    1. I hope she gave you some bits and pieces to chomp on for tomorrow.. It will be raining sadly .

      We are watching an old 70’s Christmas Morecambe and Wise .. gentle and funny .. Andre Previn , Laurence Olivier, Shirley Bassey , Glenda Jackson .. another era … and actually very humorous… nostalgia is a wonderful thing .

      Glenda Jackson then is so different to the snarling hag she is now!

      2. Full family dinner tomorrow back at hers,my turn to cook
        Beef Wellington and trimmings
        Then I hope to steal enough leftovers to last at least a week!!

          5. It’s the family gatherings, especially when there are children. It’s a fun celebration rather than a doom one.

      4. Wasn’t that when Mirecambe played all of the right notes, they were just in the wrong order.

  84. Hiistorical note re. British Christmas traditions – in the post-war years up to 1958 we didn’t have to wait until Boxing Day to watch football. There was a full programme of league games on Christmas Day.

    https://www.worldfootball.net/teams/newcastle-united/1957/3/

    Christmas Day 1957 was the last with a full league programme. The arrival of floodlights and evening games had removed the need for fixtures to be squeezed into public holidays, and many fans were preferring to stay at home with their families on Christmas Day. In the First Division on December 25, 1957, Blackpool beat Leicester 5-1, Manchester United beat Luton 3-0, and Sheffield Wednesday and Preston drew 4-4. Chelsea beat Portsmouth 7-4, with 17-year-old Jimmy Greaves scoring four for the Blues.

    Coventry’s match at Newport was abandoned due to a snowstorm, and the return match postponed. The Guardian subsequently referred them as “the club that Santa Claus forgot”

    In 1958 there were only three First Division matches played on December 25, and in 1959 just one. The last English League match played on Christmas Day was Blackpool versus Blackburn in 1965. A crowd of 21,000 turned up to see Blackpool win 4-2. In Scotland, where Christmas Day football wasn’t as big a tradition as it was in England, football was only played when December 25 happened to be a Saturday. The last matches played were Clydebank versus St Mirren (2-2) and Alloa versus Cowdenbeath (2-1) in 1976.

    https://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/football-christmas-day-match-history-victorian-tradition

  86. Watching Uni Challenge.
    10 minutes wasted on intros……

    Come on Paxo ……………. get on with it !

    2. Mrs HJ said exactly the same thing, P-T. They spend far too long bigging up the sleb contestants.

      It is a general rule of mine that I ignore any prog with ‘celebrity’ in the title, but I make an exception for UC in the vain hope that I might learn something.

        1. It seems very amusing at this hearing. No date or recording information, and the bit towards the end in white print on a yellow background is unreadable, but otherwise fine.

  88. There we are, duty done. Christmas dinner served to one and all at our local community centre. About two hundred meals served plus another hundred delivered to housebound folk as well as to those that work on Christmas day (firemen, ambulance workers, even corner store workers get a meal).

    Much more fun than duty, a church has been running the event for twenty years and we have been involved for at least twelve.

    Although there is no football there is big boys netball on TV today.

    2. You did well at 200, Richard. Ours was 70 so a much smaller operation. We ‘persuade’ a local supermarket to donate everything, although it probably helps that the manager is a member of our congregation.

  90. My extension cable is stuffed .. I cannot power up .. the liitle power point into my laptop is bent and useless.. hardly any power in my laptop now . DRAT .

  92. My gmail had this meesage yesterday:

    Hi,

    I have had my ancestry dna test results uploaded to Family tree DNA and you have come up at the top of my list on my matches sharing 88cM.

    I wondered if i could get in contact with you and find out how we may be related.

    I hope you dont mind and hope to hear from you.

    Merry christmas

    Sarah x

    I did have my DNA taken a few years back by a US company (although never managed to get the results). But this does have the appearance of a scam ….

        1. HRH Andrewis and always was an earole

          With this, underage sex thin, he is being stitched up…………

          Soros or the EU…. or both?

          1. Whether he did or he didn’t, he was obviously one of many. The media have of course lost the plot. It’s a game that rich men play, and the names of the many other “associates” of Epstein, well, they don’t need them if they’ve got a Prince, do they ? They couldn’t afford the legal costs.
            There is an element of hypocrisy in their treatment of him.

  93. Christmas is a time to remember those who are no longer with us…… parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. I remember especially my cousin who died on Christmas Day 2016, aged only 57.

    1. Trouble is, the older we get, the more of them there are. An old friend lost his wife this month after they had been together since the early ’60’s.

    2. …and I remember most immediately, my dear brother who died on 7th December in North Carolina – a trifle out of reach for those of modest means. I’m more sad for his faithful partner.

        1. Hello, TB…same avatar, same old Jenny, no change except time seems to have been a little harsh of late. I just wanted to wish everyone all the very best and let you know I still think of you.

        1. Hello, dear Jules. I have a little blog but not really up to doing much for some time as life took over. I do think of you all often and sometimes lurk for a read…lol. Sending my best to all this Christmas.

      1. Yes – my only brother was born on 22nd December 1944, and died on 27th December, at five days old.

  94. I just woke up again. I don’t think good food is good for me.
    Mind you, looking at the comments, a fair number of you have probably over-indulged.
    Makes a change from worrying about breakfast.

    1. I’ve just woken again. A taxi brought me home from chez friends in good time for the start of The Magic Flute (bizarre). Fell asleep towards the end of Act.1. Now I’m peckish, but don’t know what to attack from the fridge.

        1. Best if you brush up on the story before viewing, unless you already know it. I couldn’t get to grips with it.

      1. Gosh, I wouldn’t like Arlene Foster to be coming for me. Will she be wearing her leather outfit?

    1. Are they ex-Abbotopotamus?
      Merry Christmas 🍷everybody. Looking forward to 2020 and fewer remoaning remainer slebs in the news next year. Hope 2020 is a really great Brexitious year.

  101. Good night all.

    Had planned a light supper with pate & toast but still feeling replete (but not stuffed) from lunch. The maiale a latte intended for tomorrow can be postponed for 24 hours. That’s the advantage when you have only yourself to cater for.

    1. My neighbour the electrician was doing some gardening. I asked him what kind of bulb he recommended for a light supper.

  103. Wishing for a white Christmas…no chance, so, Wishing for the page not to jump down when I try to up-vote someone.

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