Monday 31 August: The problem is that the BBC can’t recognise that it is being ‘woke’

Posted on by Geoff Graham

An unofficial place to discuss the Telegraph letters, established when the DT website turned off its comments facility (now reinstated, but not as good as ours),
Intelligent, polite, good-humoured debate is welcome, whether on or off topic. Differing opinions are encouraged, but rudeness or personal attacks on other posters will not be tolerated. Posts which – in the opinion of the moderators – make this a less than cordial environment, are likely to be removed, without prior warning.  Persistent offenders will be banned.

Today’s letters (visible only to DT subscribers) are here:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2020/08/30/letters-problem-bbc-cant-recognise-woke/

712 thoughts on “Monday 31 August: The problem is that the BBC can’t recognise that it is being ‘woke’”

      1. We had bloody good schools dinners thanks to Miss Simpson and her team in the school kitchens.

          1. I used to love it when they did a curry. I always had at least double because the rest on the table were a bit iffy over “spicy”* food!

            *In actual fact, they were very mild curries but I still enjoyed them!

          2. Miss Simpson must have been a very adventurous cook; we never had anything remotely spicy. Hotpot was about as hot as it got 🙂

        1. I liked semolina and jam. But my mother went ape when I hid the gristly bits of the stew in my dress pocket. I genuinely didn’t understand what the fuss was about.

          1. The dining room at my prep school doubled up as the library so it walls were lined with bookshelves. When we were given something inedible to eat someone was given the job of distracting the supervising teacher’s attention while another boy shoved the stuff behind the book cases.

            You certainly get your money’s worth in private schools: the inevitable happened – we had a plague of rats.

          2. One of the boys in my year used to shove the knives into the struts under the table top.
            Amazingly, no-one noticed until they practically ran out of knives.

    1. Good morning all.

      I read that the cost of the Eat Out to Help Out scheme is £336m up to 23rd August. As with the furlough scheme, it is wide open to abuse with canny diners apparently asking to be charged separately for each course to maximise the savings:

      https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/08/28/eat-help-loophole-meant-diners-could-save-180-meals/

      Rishi Sunak has made himself the most popular politician in Britain with ‘his’ generous schemes. Do people not understand that he is not personally paying for these schemes? He is simply bribing us with our own money. But then, what’s £336m when you’ve added £300bn to the national debt in the name of this winter flu bug?

      1. ‘Morning, JK. I do wonder how many of the meals claimed by pubs etc were genuine? Methinks this was a golden opportunity for some creative accounting.

        1. Indeed, just like the furlough scheme I have heard anecdotal evidence of blatant abuse. Hey-ho, it’s only tax-payers money and provides some great photo opportunities for our PM-in-waiting.

    2. 🎵 There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza…🎵

      (Today’s ear-worm for Annie.)

    1. 323158+up ticks,
      O2O,
      Would you say the indigenous have cause to worry Og ?

      Many have faith in their local MPs doing the “right thing” so we might see something we haven’t seen in donkeys years plus, BUT Dover is NOT a good omen for the future.

      1. 323158+up ticks,
        Morning GG,
        That £10000 fine is to give credence to the £11000 grant that is in the post already, any issue that is perceived to be a crime must be seen to pay.

      1. 323158+ up ticks,
        Morning M,
        Scheming, plotting, and many will be on council duties, scheming, plotting.

    2. Who, in their right mind, would trust the originators of an economy-destroying virus to produce a safe and effective vaccine – and one that has very obviously not undergone anything like sufficient testing? This point also applies to the Russian vaccine. No thanks, I’ll steer well clear and take my chances!

      Manners: ‘Morning, C1.

  10. SIR – I would have thought if the Government was serious about getting people back to the office, it wouldn’t have had a Cabinet minister telling us about it from his study at home.

    Simon Morpuss
    Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire

    Good point!

  11. SIR – There are plans for vets to administer Covid vaccines. I’m not sure I want to be held down and jabbed in the back of the neck.

    Gail Bridger
    Kingsbridge, Devon

    So, Gail Bridger, neither will you be impressed by being lifted up on to the table and given a biscuit at the end of it then?

    2. 323158+ up ticks,
      HJ,
      If politico’s get involved physically with giving an injection along with the vets, then keep an eye on the tory wretch cameron, his approach to pig husbandry leave a lot to be desired.

      1. Do you mind?! With breakfast on the horizon I am beginning to regret putting up this letter…

        ‘Morning, Mo.

    5. If they can lift me up on the table they are most welcome to give it a go, just don’t be surprised if I attempt to give a nasty bite on the hand. Grrr

      1. That photograph is beyond cruel. How on earth is that bloke going to lick his nuts? 🤣

  13. SIR – I can confirm the distressing trend of GPs refusing to see patients and referring them to the 111 service (Letters, August 29).

    My partner was dying at home in late May after contracting a non-Covid hospital infection. Our GP refused to come out to see him in his last hours, citing the threat of Covid infection. This caused anguish for our family.

    A 111 doctor (masked) did come to see my partner on his last night and early next morning after his death, and was very caring. He put our own GP, whom we have known for years, to shame.

    Sue Kemble
    London SW10

    What an appalling experience. Utterly shameful – and no prospect of redress against an uncaring GP, either.

      1. He may recognise the names, recognise the faces but seems he did not know his patients.

    2. 323158+ up ticks,
      HJ,
      Let it be known to the GP fraternity that their lack of services will be returned in kind from the tradesmen / others within the local infrastructure.
      An offending GP in need of a tap washer
      etc, must ring 111 for a resident plumber.

  14. OT – and in the holiday spirit.

    The delightful chaps who bought our house in Laure sent pictures of their yellow Lab disporting himself in the garrigue and, more typically, sound asleep in his armchair. His name is “Sorbonne”.

    Let us share the names of your dogs.

    1. Milly – picture alongside. Loves sleeping, swimming and food, but not neccessarily in that order.

    2. I’ve only ever owned three dogs (and none for a number of years). They were: Jacob, a border collie; Dennis and Penny, poodles.

    3. Our five year old Springer is called Misty. I had the choice of breed and Mrs D had the choice of name.

      1. MB and I ponder on a companion for Spartie so he’s not an ‘only child’. Dachsies are what we keep looking at.

          1. Cynical li’l ole me sez; wait till people go back to work and winter arrives.
            The dog rescue places will be swamped.

          2. Just what we were saying yesterday as d-i-l is keen to obtain a replacement Lab before the current couch potato trots off the that great kennel in the sky.

        2. Excellent choice.
          We used to own larger breeds, setters, labs etc and a mixed bag of
          mongrels that turned up on our doorstep…
          Since moving house with a small garden, small dog made sense. Walkies only in fine weather…if Maud agrees!

          Have you seen the dappled Dachsies ?

          1. I haven’t. We did have a couple of dachsies some 30+ years ago. There is a family somewhere round Allan Towers with one of the miniature dachshunds. Very sweet, but I understand are given to eye problems (apart from the astronomical cost).
            Given that we’re not in our first flush of youth, a decision that would have been simple even ten years ago, is now one that needs some thought.

          2. Plenty of older dogs requiring good homes due to Coved.I couldn’t take on a new puppy now….haven’t the patience with their sanitary needs!

          3. That is why we are thinking along the rescue dog lines. One about Spartie’s age (2 – 3) would be fine.

        3. I hope it works out for you; Charlie has been a reformed character since he became an “only child”. He was a delinquent before that when he had to share!

      2. Our neighbour’s have one of those named Eric. He yapps all the time.
        But he looks up to our black Lab Lottie BLM.

    11. I’ve only ever owned three dogs (and none for a number of years). They were: Jacob, a border collie; Dennis and Penny, poodles.

      1. However, cats:

        Snoopy, Demelza (“Dusty”), Dorothy, Geoff, Veronica, Muriel (“Plop”), Rocky, Ted, Ken, Moppy, Su-Su, Billy, Ginny, Molly, Polly, Millie and Fritzie.

    13. I don’t have a dog, but my neighbour has a completely unruly labradoodle called Ruby. Ruby regularly breaks down any makeshift barrier I put up to defecate on my lawn, demolish any bird feeder not already destroyed by the squirrels, and to steal gloves from the shed.

      I rely on her though to alert the neighbours when I have passed away and started to pong a bit, so anyone interested can order the skip.

      2. Strangely there were quite a few parrot videos appeared on my Facebook feed yesterday. Smart birds aren’t they?
        Your parrot was only middle aged as parrots go.

      3. I’m sorry he didnt get better Belle. He looked very well cared for in the photo on your lap.

      1. It is high time Bill stopped wanting to emulate the artist Titian

        While Titian was mixing rose madder
        His model was posed on a ladder
        “Your position” said Titian
        “Inspires coition!”
        So he nipped up the ladder and ‘ad ‘er.

        1. Never good actor eh……….
          We went to the Elvis exhibition at the O2 a few years ago, i had some great shots of a lot of the exhibits, guitars, cars, clothes. His army ID pictures of his parents and him as a child but lost them all when my old phone suddenly stopped working. But no Blue Sued shoes.

          3. Thanks, John. I managed to buy a brand new copy of the “Beano” album on vinyl a few years’ back. Wonderful stuff.

    4. I did the ladder work yesterday when I repaired (OK patched up) the roof where it had been damaged in a wind storm.

      I was right up by the peak of the roof and noticed that just a foot or so to my left was a wasp nest, complete with wasps a crawling.

      I thought of you as I plummeted to the ground to avoid being stung.

      1. Glad you missed being stung. The MR was stung the other day – after disturbing a wasps’ nest. The chap who came to deal with the nest (and two others) said that the first wasp will sting you with a pheromone – which indicates to all other wasps that YOU are the baddie – and they all fly after you and attack you.

      1. Apparently until tonight we are still able to get the discount, so i’ll go for the ribeye. 😎

    8. Congratulations RE well done to you and your wife.
      It’s our daughter’s 30th tomorrow. Son had 20th last month.

      1. It’s in the blood Bill, our middle son has only been married for two years and he’s painted the whole of the inside of their new home in 3 months.
        Eldest just finished their spare bedroom now his WFH office.
        We deserve meddles…… 😉

          2. Some good friends of our son died falling off the cliff in Cornwall a few years ago. It changed theirs and the younger sons lives completely.

    1. No and Yes, the clue is in the inclusion of “could?” in the headline, a typical MSM wheeze.
      P.S. I would be delighted if the answer was yes and no

    2. When you consider we would have to borrow the money to pay out the aid, it would be a logical move. So it probably won’t happen.

    3. It’s ben a long time coming so let’s hope so,…….. he will probably be the next Tory leader and PM.

      1. 323158+ up ticks,
        Morning RE,
        You mean the long line of political
        anti UK units will continue ?, you mean indigenous peoples will still
        fund one of the “death to the UK”
        parties ? even though our collective feet MUST surely be just above the bottom of the cesspit.
        It seems to me to be a dire threat to these Isles coming in the near future.

        1. Britain as it was is finished.
          My prediction is around 40 years time it’ll be predominately islamic.
          That’s been the aim for many years, Blair started this.

          1. When Blair was elected I recall saying “they will regret it” – I could see what was coming down the line, forewarned being forearmed, I thought. What I hadn’t realised in those oh so far-off peaceful days was how very much we all would regret it, and for generations to come.

          2. Around two year after he was elected One of his many Hs was questioned by a reporter who asked “How many people do you think have come in to the country since you have been in office Mr Blunkett” ?
            He replied “We have absolutely no idea” !

          3. No idea, they didn’t care and couldn’t care less about the effect it would have on the ordinary working man and his family these people would have on those they had come to live amongst.

          4. 323158+ up ticks,
            Afternoon RE,
            Because b,liar started it was there any reason to continue it via other parties having input and also
            raising the intake ( the wretch cameron) as in a coalition.
            May one ask who in their right mind would cast a vote knowing that an islamic takeover was on the menu with all the signs plainly evident ?

    6. Good morning p’sm

      It must be too good to be true.

      In fact it might be a good strategy for the MSM to announce a whole list of favourable comments about the sensible things the government has promised to do. Government ministers would then have actually to do something sensible or deny that they were going to do anything sensible!

    7. 323158+ up ticks,
      Morning PM,
      If so it is because the five star hotels bill is escalating on a daily basis via Dover.

      1. I did some sums. For the money being spent per immigrant, they could have built the required accommodation to three star hotel standards.

        1. 323158+ up ticks,
          Afternoon HP,
          I totally agree with one additive that being, the said accommodation was in tasbloodymania.

          Courtesy of successive governance failures where the welfare of the party comes before the welfare of the Country, the nations current grand children’s,children’s, children will still be paying
          and cursing way into the future.

  18. Morning all. Anyone discovering NOTTL for the first time might jump to the conclusion that here exists a group of hard-nosed barstewards. However, reading yesterday evening’s lengthy threads on individuals’ experiences of life and sudden unexpected deaths, there is an amazing degree of humanity and empathy, not merely on display but honestly felt. You guys are amazing.

    1. We’ve all been there, so empathy comes easily. Add a few years life experience, and you get NoTTL.
      Morning, Stephen.

    2. ‘Morning, Stephen. Tell that to some of the know-it-all youngsters who regard the older types as befuddled, out of touch and uncaring. Those of us who have been round the block a few times know otherwise.

    4. I can confirm the support. At my time of horror – it was continuous and a massive help.

    1. There is always Lord Haw Hall – he’s relatively free now. And the woman who resigned from Ofqual.

        1. I am surprised that pretendy PM trudeau hasn’t applied, his attempt at buying a UN security council seat was a big failure, this might be more achievable.

          And no US candidate. After all of the complaining about how unfair and corrupt the WTO is, fixing it would have been in order.

          1. Whatever makes you think that the head of the WTO would be anything other than a sock-puppet?

            Trudeau would fit that bill.

        3. I don’t suppose the foreign aid budget is large enough to bribe those who vote, is it.

  21. ‘Morning, Peeps, and a happy Hank Boliday!

    Here are the latest letters about the Broken Broadcasting Corpn. However, thanks to their smugness and arrogance it is quite clear that they are not listening, although I would like to think that yesterday’s letter to the new DG from a few MPs might just start the ball rolling. It is unfortunate that so few Members have, so far, decided to go on the attack.

    SIR – Lord Hall of Birkenhead, who is stepping down as director general, when asked whether the BBC is now a “woke” organisation responded: “That is not a description I recognise at all.” That, of course, continues to be the problem.

    Let’s hope that his successor does something about it, rather than merely pontificate as he leaves the post.

    Christopher Timbrell
    Kington Langley, Wiltshire

    SIR – Reading Mick Brown’s interview with Lord Hall, I was struck by the similarities between Ed Davey, the newly elected Lib Dem leader, and the outgoing director general of the BBC.

    Both are unaware of how out-of-touch their organisations are. Both pander to a liberal elite who like to virtue signal. Both men lead organisations that need to die in order to allow society to move forward.

    Tailored, streamed television is the norm in this age. Ironically, I would be willing to bet that if the BBC went to a paid streaming contract instead of the licence fee, its viewership would increase as people realise they value it more. With the Beeb being directly responsible to its subscribers, the content would also improve.

    Roland Johnson
    Stowe, Buckinghamshire

    SIR – Lord Hall takes up the column inches telling us what the BBC must do in the future to improve. Since he had so much time at the helm, why did he not make those changes himself?

    If, as he said, the new incumbent agreed with “the creative changes” for the Proms this year, the future is not very bright for us licence payers.

    Time to defund the BBC.

    Peter Thompson
    Sutton, Surrey

    SIR – What a relief that Lord Hall is leaving the BBC. His idea that it should move to the regions would be costly and achieve nothing good.

    The BBC needs to re-establish itself as a body which can be admired the world over. It does not need to relocate to the regions, but to deliver, in eloquent, grammatically correct English, programmes to inspire, so that we may all learn and connect at the highest level, not the lowest.

    Alex Turner
    Basingstoke, Hampshire

    SIR – “It’s when people take no notice of what you’re doing that you’ve got a problem.” Thus Lord Hall suggests that an uncomplaining audience must be an uninterested audience.

    Significant interference in much-loved staples such as the Last Night of the Proms will then occur if most of its audience, not needing to make contact to question something they trustingly expect to remain largely unchanged, are deemed to lack interest, rather than just be quietly satisfied.

    Stefan Badham
    Portsmouth, Hampshire

    SIR – Am I the only one wishing the woke had never waked?

    John Perkins
    Lytham, Lancashire

    1. BTL Comment:-

      Robert Spowart
      31 Aug 2020 8:25AM
      I wonder how much the current state of the BBC was engendered by their policy of almost exclusively advertising their vacancies in the Guardian and I wonder how much the imbalance in the organisation may be corrected if they were required to spread the net more widely?Edit ()

      DeleteLike
      Reply

    2. I have come to agree that Aunty should change to subscripted rather than licence fee funding, HOWEVER, like most, I imagine, I find there are programmes I would like to watch on the all of Beeb, Netflix, Prime, BT, Sky etc. but I cant afford to subscribe to them all.
      We need a system where you pay for a single TV access subscription through which the payment for the show you want to watch gets paid to the relevant provider.

  22. Very successful bonfire – virtually everything disposed of.

    Now to go through and see whether anyone responded to my dog name question.

      1. Not sure yet. Student Son plans having it with his mum when she gets back from work.

        2. There doesn’t seem to be a lot there for two hungry people, enough for a snack for your student son.

          1. Student son has scoffed it and I’ve something else on for the DT for when she gets home.
            She can try some of my fresh rough chopped mint sauce with it too!

    2. Apart from the appalling waste of packaging, the design is specifically engineered to deceive the prospective buyer.

  24. SIR – I turned on the omnibus of The Archers but instead heard Roy Plomley speaking. I had inadvertently left Radio 4 Extra on.

    Desert Island Discs had me riveted. The music Roy Dotrice chose was a superb mixture.

    No more Archers. I’ve broken the habit of years at last – or rather the dreary monologues have broken my habit. The trouble is I am now hooked on vintage Desert Island Discs.

    Jane Wood
    Salisbury, Wiltshire

    Jane Wood is spot on. Janus Towers gave up decades of Archers listening as soon as the boring monologues started during lockdown. It didn’t take much, mind you, as the storylines were deteriorating rapidly as the writers went chasing after the yoof listener. We have yet to rediscover the wonderful Roy Plumtree – and even Sue Lawley – having been put off the programme by the present non-entity who tries to present it. And in the old days the music clips were much shorter, allowing more time to discover and understand the guest.

    The dreary monologues were discussed with the controller of R4 in a recent edition of Feedback. And you have guessed…it was the standard ‘we are never wrong’ response. What a surprise that was!

    1. As regards ‘Desert Island Discs’, I also felt that Kirsty Young did a splendid job and was a worthy successor to Roy Plumley. The current presenter, whose heart is with popular music and youth culture, has dumbed-down the programme, musically, in choice of subject and in the way their lives are explored. It was such a pity that Kirsty Young fell ill and had to retire.

      1. In a funny sort of way, i often think of Nottlers as being a cross between The Archers, Desert Island Discs and Mrs Dale’s Diary.

      2. ‘Morning, JM. Minor point of order: Parky was the successor to Plumtree, followed by the fragrant Lawley….

  25. Good morning, everyone.
    I’ve just read yesterday night’s postings.
    Maggie, I am so sorry about Happy. It is amazing how these characters weave themselves into our lives.
    MB also sends his condolences. Oscar was very much his chum, so he knows exactly how you feel.

  26. ‘Jihadi’ textbook probe descends into farce. 31 August 2020.

    An official investigation into ‘jihadi textbooks’ used in British-funded Palestinian schools was branded a farce yesterday – after researchers mistakenly analysed Israeli textbooks that promote peace.

    Ministers promised urgent action in February after the Mail revealed how £120 million of UK foreign aid helps pay for schools in Gaza and the West Bank, where reading exercises for six-year-olds include the words ‘martyr’ and ‘attack’ and ten-year-olds learn the most important thing is giving their life for ‘jihad’.

    Morning everyone. I’m not overly concerned with the content of Palestinian text books, more with the £120M quid. Where did any UK government gain the approval of the electorate to spend such sums on such projects? It’s not their job to hike around the planet doling out taxpayers cash on every half witted scheme that catches their eye so they can feel good when they go home!

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8680065/Jihadi-textbook-probe-descends-farce-researchers-analysed-Israeli-book-promoting-peace.html

    1. In medieval times, Vatican scholars were not well enough imbued with native languages to be sure that was being asked of God in the name of the Church was always on-message. Therefore, everything was done in Latin, which all Vatican scholars could speak, read and write fluently, wherever they came from.

      Maybe our ministers might care to take similar precautions?

    2. 323158+ up ticks,
      Morning AS,
      The electorate did, again, giving carte blanche to the overseers after kissing X the party candidate in the polling booth, again.

          1. Hi Garlands,
            I have been looking for an email all week because Harry K said Herts might be emailing me.
            I did reply to one yesterday tho – was that from you?

          3. I’ve checked all my emails, and deleted ones all the way back to 01 Aug – cant find anything.
            Can you send again G?

  28. Good morning to you all – and a very happy August Black Holiday to you.

    At last a morning without rain or a gale. Ladder work calls.

    2. I trust that your 38-page risk assessment, in accordance with the Work at Height Regulations 2005, is in place??

  29. Horrifying moment a 4ft SNAKE is pulled from a Russian woman’s throat after it crawled into her mouth while she slept. 30 August 2020.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf7ceaa56fabc42255c4735f928ca2bf48c0df0706486daca676be5eaf20e40d.jpg

    Horrifying footage shows the moment a 4ft snake was removed from a Russian woman’s mouth after it slithered inside her while she slept.

    As the unusual operation is performed, one of the doctors is heard off camera saying: ‘Let’s see what this is’.

    A female medic grabs the snake with a horrified expression on her face as it is pulled from the woman’s mouth.

    She jumps back startled and medical staff scream as they realise the long length of the snake inside the patient.

    Not for the squeamish! If you want to watch the video follow the link!

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8680731/Horrifying-moment-SNAKE-pulled-womans-throat.html

    3. That slimy creature should have been checked more thoroughly. My guess is that it was a snivel serpent.

    6. Difficult to rule out the possibility that the patient may have been under the influence of something when a snake of that length must have travelled well beyond her mouth without her waking up?

    1. Mention that you think that Pakistan has some fine creekiters – and that number of fans may drop…!!

  32. Afternoon All

    My neighbour spent all day yesterday laying out turf in his front garden. Then last night someone stole it.

    He’s back out there now, looking forlorn.

    He should watch out.
    It could be a sward fight…………..

    4. “He’s back out there now, looking forlorn.”

      Are you sure he isnt looking for lawn?

    6. Some people are so bent.

      Others are more fescue. He should be looking for someone called Timothy.

      1. OT- I see that you will no longer be able to use Dobbin to haul your longboat – “CROOOLTY”.

          1. You missed the story? Some daft bint complained that a bargee using – as she had done for yonks – a horse to pull her barge was shockingly evil and cruel. etc etc.

        2. One of my friends was given a mouthful when she and her daughter took their horses along the tow path and were told that horses weren’t allowed! Hello! The reason tow paths are there is for horses to tow barges.

  36. Daily Betrayal

    “I leave you with the news that ‘woke’ is now also flourishing in Parliament:

    “The House of Commons

    is piloting unconscious bias training for MPs and has set up a group to

    tackle racism in parliament after staff raised concerns about

    discrimination. Senior members of the Commons Executive Board, including

    John Benger, the clerk of the House, have expressed solidarity with

    staff from ethnic minority backgrounds and pledged to make improvements.

    Mr Benger is chairing a cross-parliamentary group established in

    response to the Black Lives Matter movement to help to tackle

    discrimination and reduce inequality in the Commons.” (link, paywalled)

    You really couldn’t make this up! Will MPs

    now ‘take the knee’ at the start of HoC proceedings? Will MPs now waste

    parliamentary time on finding and exterminating any traces of

    ‘offensive’ examples for ‘slavery’ and ‘colonialism’? Perhaps they

    ought to wade through acres of Hansard, to remove any mention of such

    ‘thought crimes’?”

    https://independencedaily.co.uk/your-daily-betrayal-bank-holiday-monday-31st-august-2020-day-15-of-post-covid-madness/

    1. “Clerk of the House” far too demeaning. It must be changed to “Woke of the House” to fit in with C21st sanity……

    2. Dr John Bender, 51st Clerk of the House of Commons – elected by the following: John Bercow MP, Andrea Leadsom MP, Valerie Vaz MP and Stewart Hosie MP.

      They might have something in common… …not sense, obviously.

      1. Dr John Benderer: I’ve been a clerk for most of my career, but I’m also head of a Service comprising nearly 3,000 people in a great variety of roles I joined because it looked like an interesting place to work, but it never occurred to me that I’d still be here now, over thirty years later.

        I feel we are in a kind of transition period. When I joined in 1986 there was a real lack of diversity here. I’m proud to say that over time we have adapted, and we’re now making great progress in becoming more diverse and inclusive. Wokerer than a well woken woke!

  37. About a year ago, Mr Thomas of this parish suggested I ought to move house when my next door neighbour of 36 years decided to move to Norfolk as it so happens, and a youngish family had bought his property. Then five months ago at ten past eight one Tuesday morning, I got a phone call from the removal company that had been booked to arrive at 8:00 telling me that they weren’t coming – Covid fright.

    Three months later we were able to move and a couple of days ago we finally acquired the keys to our new home. It is affectionately known as the ‘Money Pit’ as a fair amount of remedial work is required some of which will require the services of a local architect and builders. Why buy such a property? The village is fairly small around 1,000 people so there aren’t many properties on the market. It’s within walking distance of one of my daughters and our grandchildren and it has spectacular views. If fact I’m thinking of having a House sign made: “Pay to view”……

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5607ef8e1bf3942afc8c8303dca1211be21207fb7ef6c05aa66f9c3de8655e2c.jpg

      1. Not quite, but a rear two storey addition has a question mark over it requiring the services of a structural engineer (£650 per day) – it may be better if it is demolished and rebuilt on better foundations 🙁

        Edit – Oh I forgot to mention traces of asbestos and drains that need relining…….:-(

        1. You could always move, of course…

          (I have no recollection of advising you to move house…)

    8. I’ve just been Cashtrated!

      1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

  38. Word for the day;

    Icoonoclasm:
    Icoonoclasm (from Greek: εἰκών, eikṓn, ‘ figure, icon’ + κλάω, kláō, ‘to break’ + μαύρος black) is the social belief in the importance of the destruction of icons and other images or monuments, most frequently for religious or political reasons by Black lives matter.

        1. Given their political sentiments highly unlikely. On the UDder hand the UD will publish virtually anything!

          2. How about:

            Coonucopia;
            noun: coonucopia; plural noun: coonucopias

            a symbol of looting, consisting of a horny old goat, overflowing with knives, petrol bombs, and rapine.

      2. I wonder if they will accept my favourite word, one I coined myself:

        arseholic ärshol’ic adj the quality of being an arsehole; imbecilic behaviour or activity.

        1. I would add Complete arsehole.

          You’ll need to put the word in a sentence: e.g.: When in a rare moment of lucidity he realised he was an arseholic he plucked up the courage to join Arseholics Anonymous.

          2. And they wouldn’t be able to get past the Step 1 – admit that they have a problem in the first place…

    2. I see what you did there. (From barracoon, from Portuguese barraca “slave depot, pen or rough enclosure for black slaves . 😁

  39. Hello lovely people! Food for thought from Takimag.

    Being Nice to Black People
    Jim Goad

    August 31, 2020

    In all the endlessly tiresome back-and-forth screeching about race relations in this country, never once have I heard anyone beyond an anonymous tweeter here or there suggest the main problem is that we’ve been far too nice to black people.

    Despite the fact that black-on-white violence far outstrips the inverse, and despite the fact that American culture has performed nonstop analingus on blacks and nonstop defamation of whites for a couple generations now, and despite the fact that it’s ludicrous to assert that modern blacks are being economically exploited in any possible way since blacks in the aggregate take far more from the “government” (i.e., white taxpayers) in assistance than they contribute in taxes, the establishment left and right both seem to agree that anti-black “racism” is a real problem.

    Multiple speakers at the COVID Skype show that was the Republican National Convention last week bent over and grabbed their ankles wishing warm feelings for Jacob Blake, the black male from Kenosha with a felony warrant for rape who was filmed on camera fighting with white cops before they wound up shooting him after screaming at him to put down his knife. But there wasn’t a word of sympathy for Kyle Rittenhouse, the white Trump supporter who shot three non-blacks in Kenosha last week as they were attacking him with fists, a skateboard, and a handgun.

    Republicans get called Nazis no matter how far they bend over, and still they try to appease the same malicious actors who call them Nazis. You know what they say about those who don’t learn from history.

    If the establishment left and right disagree on anything, it’s whether or not anti-white rhetoric and anti-white violence are problems. But both groups openly pander to blacks as a racial group, while neither dares to openly appeal to whites. The Republicans simply never say anything about whites, while the Democrats openly demean whites.

    Despite what the narrative-sculptors would have you believe, I’ve never had a problem being nice to black people. And in most cases, black people don’t have a problem being nice to me. Having gotten that out of the way, what I’m about to say will be scorned by people on both ends of this imaginary political spectrum for different reasons, and I suppose it won’t help to explain that I’m saying this not to win good-guy points with anyone—because, you blinkered idiot, your misguided moral approval means nothing to me—but because it’s been my genuine experience: On an individual basis, I really, really like black people. Ever since I first started encountering them at around age eight, they’ve been some of the funniest and most charming people I’ve ever known.

    There have, of course, been exceptions—I’ve been robbed and punched by black people, although I’ve never robbed or punched one myself. And I know multiple white people who’ve suffered violence, rape, and murder at the hands of blacks, whereas I’ve never personally known a white person who’s done the inverse.

    But that’s not what the narrative-sculptors would have you believe, is it?

    “When you concede to an infant’s tantrums, does their behavior improve?”
    Despite all of the evidence, they keep peddling this antiquated notion that America is such a cesspit of anti-black hatred and violence that blacks are scared of even walking outside these days. Even basketball superstar LeBron James and his net worth of nearly a half-billion dollars recently asserted as much.

    Coulda fooled me! Blacks don’t seem to have the slightest problem appearing in public and bullying and hitting and demeaning every white person within spitting distance.

    No, it’s whites who are afraid. Deathly afraid.

    Back when whites actually had a positive collective identity, they weren’t nearly as afraid. In fact, it was the blacks who were afraid. And that was a bad thing—if you were black. If you were white, one of the perks that you didn’t have to live in constant fear of being physically attacked for saying the wrong thing.

    But as modern whites, we’re lectured that it’s a good thing to live in constant fear. We’re told it’s what we deserve for all that we’ve done to blacks.

    Sorry, but what have I ever done to blacks except being nice to them?

    So I have to ask ye white Americans: How has being nice to black people been workin’ out for ya?

    Have you noticed that the nicer we are to blacks, the angrier they act toward us? Have you noticed that this phenomenon acts with almost mathematical precision? Have you pondered that perhaps they don’t interpret our kindness as kindness, but rather as weakness?

    I read a long time ago that Southerners hate the idea of blacks as a group but are nice to them individually, whereas Northerners love the idea of blacks as an abstract concept but treat them rottenly on an individual basis. While that’s a gross overgeneralization and impossible to quantify, it’s appearing more and more that in this equation, I would qualify as a honorary Southerner.

    Back when you could get your ass kicked by white people for saying nice things about black people, I was that guy.

    Now, when you can get your life destroyed for saying nice things about white people, I’m still that guy.

    I haven’t changed at all. All that “progress” really means is that society has shifted its poles and redefined the good guys and the bad guys.

    Except for the times when I was punched and robbed by individual blacks, my experiences with them have been overwhelmingly positive. So, yes, it can be said that I have very high regard for most of them as individuals.

    But holy shit, they are a complete mess as a group. Where on Earth does a large presence of blacks actually improve the per-capita income and life expectancy? Where is there a majority-black country on Earth where blacks enjoy a higher standard of living and live longer than they do in this allegedly white-supremacist hellhole called the USA? I’ve been asking that last question for a quarter-century and have never received an answer. I’ve been called plenty of names for asking the question, but after about the hundredth time, that only seems like a dishonest way of avoiding the question altogether.

    It’s stupid to be nice to someone who has no intention of being nice to you.

    Even though White Fragility is one of the best-selling books of recent years, what we’re actually dealing with is black fragility, because if you dare to even utter one negative thing about them, the entire nation might burn.

    It’s not a healthy world where you’re constantly afraid of speaking the truth.

    It’s as if all of white America is a battered wife desperately scrambling not to make her husband angry again. Sounds like we’re in an abusive relationship with blacks—so deeply abusive, we’re being gaslit as the abusers and most of us seem to believe it. It’s like, wow, honey, you just made your abusive husband breakfast in bed, but he slapped you harder than ever. The nicer we get, the more racist they say we are, and the meaner they get. And no one sees a connection to any of this?

    If people refrain from ever thinking or saying anything negative about black people again, do you think this current situation will resolve itself, or will it get a lot worse? I recently conducted a poll on this very question, and 93.8% of the 499 respondents said things will only get worse.

    When you concede to an infant’s tantrums, does their behavior improve?

    Mind you, I don’t like white people any more than I like black people. In a lot of ways, I respect modern whites far less than I respect modern blacks. I’ll respect anyone who acts in self-interest far more than I’ll respect any masochist.

    But we currently occupy a culture where being perceived as a “racist” justifies your murder. So would you rather be dead, or would you rather be called a racist and stay alive to fight back? Sooner than you think, you will be forced to answer that question.

    I choose to continue being nice to blacks as individuals, but when it comes to blacks as a group, I am now highly suspicious of both their capabilities and their intentions toward me and other whites.

    Let’s put it this way: I love my dog, and he has a great personality, but I wouldn’t let him drive my truck. Despite how likeable he is, I’d only be inviting disaster.

      1. Wotcha m’dear. Keyboard sticking and hard to write,and have had family stuff. But so nice to see you all again!

        1. Yesterday evening on here was somewhat sobering. A great many Nottlers expressed their concern and well wishes. We are a good bunch. Most unlike a great many other fora.

          8. I had the pleasure once of taking a look inside one of their huge transit vans. Every square inch covered in (expensive) tools. I ask the agent if he had a puberty tool. Blank look. ‘You know’, I said, ‘a magnet on a telescopic arm that’s for dropped nuts….’

        2. Good to see you again, H.
          Hope the “family stuff” is satisfactorily resolved.

          1. Thank you, P,

            Not yet resolved family stuff — will be long term (it’s my brother, who is my only remaining close relative. He is now staying here again). Things looking positive but hard work.

    2. Unfortunately it’s very true. It’s like paying a ransom (benefits) the more they get the more they want, it’s a never ending cycle except that it will end badly.
      BTW good to see you here again but not often enough.

      1. Thanks, Alf.
        Have had family stuff and I also spilt liquid over my laptop so it takes ages for me to write and is very frustrating!

    2. Lady gagged! I prefer her like that. There are many other luvvies who would do well to follow her example – and a vow of silence wouldn’t go amiss.

    2. Very interesting, John. Thanks for that.

      Those “Allied Inspectors”, who were tasked to ensure that post-Great War Germany did not rearm, were obviously a cartel of Snivel Serpents since none of them were fit for purpose.

    1. As Wimbledon already has the ball people down on one knee, will they now have have to go down on both to show respect. Keeps the slammers happy as well.

  44. What we want from the BBC

    Test match cricket (men)
    Open Golf and other top flight tournaments (men)
    Grand slam tennis
    Non PC comedy
    Non PC dramas
    Unbiased news that isn’t anti Brexit or Trump.
    Documentaries that aren’t climate change propagandas.
    Commentators that are there because of their knowledge of the subject and not their gender or skin colour.
    It would be well worth the licence fee if we got all that

    2. We’re hooked on The Bridge, on BBC4 at the moment – far better than anything produced by the BBC these days. The Saturday night Scandi dramas with subtitles are much better – everything in English, the actors seem only to be able to mumble and we can’t follow the dialogue or the action.

    4. You have more chance of winning the Euromillions five times in a row than getting that from the BBC. Only one answer – disband it.

    5. What would be different is a TV detective who treated his subordinates decently, did not drink excessively, had a loving family relationship, dressed smartly, was courteous to the public, wasn’t surrounded by Bames and did not have any “edgy” past-times. The nearest that comes to mind is the Maigret of Rowan Atkinson.

  45. The goats went mad this afternoon. Because of the bonfire, I was wearing wellies, a cap and even older old clothes. The herd must have thought I was the farmer. They charged across the paddock bleating like mad….. Hilarious. Thee are four orphan calves in there, too, and they came over to see what was going on!

    1. What a brilliant idea! Make Border Farce part of the NHS, and tell them their task is to welcome as many refugees as possible. There’d be a ten year waiting list within weeks!

  47. 323158+ up ticks,
    May one ask any current lab/lib/con coalition voter as governance failures go this one is shaping up to be one of the best, can it be improved on in the failure stakes at the next GE.
    breitbart,
    British Parliament Staff Confess Racial Sins, Pledge Allyship, BLM Support

  48. A flight of geese flying by. Southwards. Pity I don’t have my shotgun handy, could do with a goose in the freezer!

    1. The height I’ve seen geese flying over here, I’d need a 40mm Borfors to get even close!

      2. It seems to me that the slogan should be changed from Black Lives Matter to

        Black Deaths Matter Even More.

        Clearly, like Macbeth’s predecessor as the Thane of Cawdor – Nothing in his life became him (Chadwick) like the leaving of it.

      3. Having read about this black actor whose films comprise only black actors I immediately thought the chap must have been a racist.

        Then I recalled a similar deception which encouraged stupid Scots to detest the English (even more than usual). I refer of course to Braveheart and the Aussie actor Mel Gibson.

        These actors pandering to imagined historical sleights and prejudices are despicable.

        There might have been intergalactic black kings in our history except to say I have never heard of one. It is just silly wishful thinking and fodder for stupid people. John Wayne was not at Custer’s last stand any more than Robert Mitchum was at Pearl Harbour, the Battle of the Bulge or whatever. These are actors.

        Very few modern actors actually performed in a War, the most famous being James Stewart who was a distinguished airman.

        2. There were a few – newborn babies with serious congential defects, and one or two children with major problems. That’s why “no healthy child”.

  52. Had a shite day so far… cheer me up NoTTlers pleeeease

    Went to tennis club ….moderatley boring play. Conversation equally boring. Came home… talked to the dog…

    1. Am just about to have a video consultation with an ortho specialist! Will give you a laugh when it’s over! (That’s if it happens!)

          1. “Sorry – this consultation has had to be cancelled. We will send you a new appointment by letter. It will be sometime in January…”

          2. Well, there you go chaps! I am to have a new hip! Goodness knows when, but at least I’m now in the queue! There had been a bit of doubt about the pain being linked to the breast cancer earlier in the year, but the consultant has spoken to the oncologist and he isn’t too worried! 🙄😳

          4. Thanks Phizzee and all! The thought of falling or stumbling with a grandchild in my arms was too horrible to contemplate, so I spoke to my wonderful GP and he has given them a push! We were laughing about what all the ortho surgeons had been doing for the last 5 months as they weren’t much use redeployed to the wards. I suggested that their saws and hammers would just get in the way! Oh how we larffed!

          5. Ouch, Sue!

            Best of luck and I hope they can get it sorted sooner rather than later. 😘

          9. Well, he wouldn’t be worried – it is not his hip!

            Good luck. Go private, and get it done next month…..

          12. It would be quicker to find a handy ladder from which to fall and break the b****y thing! It would save me having to self isolate for 14 days pre-op!

          13. The MR’s nephew’s wife was due for a gall bladder op. She self-isolated for 14 days; went to hospital the day before the op – was tested for the Plague – positive. Had to go home and re-isolate – and lost her place in the queue.

          14. My old man tested positive about 4 months ago so I guess we both had it about March. Felt ghastly for a few days then got CBA! That’s not to say I couldn’t get it again…..

          17. It wasn’t his breast either! However he was charming! Perhaps someone (or two) on the list may drop dead and there will be a cancellation!

    6. C’mon Plum! We love you – have a sherry and think of that….x
      (OK, so I’m soppy – so what?)

          2. Don’t know who it was but I understand they got out and went to the lavatory 6 times and died happy.

        3. I like Malmsey. I’ve yet to try Sercial, Bual or Verdelho. They’ll be next on the list.

        2. #metoo. I have, over the last few days, developed, I think, tendonitis of the left wrist. It has got worse. My diagnosis at the moment. It is so painful. I will be phoning the surgery tomorrow for advice. I think it was spending an afternoon gardening a week ago, digging up weeds that has caused it. Are you feeling ok now, Plum?

          1. I’m a bit weary today after spending most of yesterday in the garden and then not having a good night’s sleep. Not doing much today.

          2. Yes thanks
            Have to trim hedges tomorrow…. gardening is very therapeutic if you don’t injure yourself….! Hopefully ankle will be up to t…

          3. The specialist has advised me to take Vit D supplements as Scotland isn’t renowned for its sunshine! I didn’t like to tell him I’d spent the last 5 months gardening (carefully!)

          5. Crikey Anne! That takes me back! And the orange juice! Mum used to stuff us with Haliborange tablets!

      1. A spectator…. Healing slowly,It will be some time before I play again.
        I’m missing it dreadfully it was a lifeline for me…..

        1. Hope fully you will be back playing soon. OH has been playing quite a lot – his shoulder surgery last year was successful, but he has lost muscle and strength so he is seeing a chiropractor and doing exercises. He finds them painful – she has told him to take a 10 day break from tennis.

          2. His suprascapularis tendon was completely severed and the surgeon joined it back up – it’s healed well, but the subscapularis has atrophied while he was immobile. He also has a lot of scar tissue from old injuries that healed without surgery.

    12. Have a sherry or three, Plum. At least you got a decent conversation with the dog … 🙂

    14. Plum Tart
      Awoke with a Start
      Went out to play
      But had a shite day
      Came home to the dog
      And went to the bog
      Sought Nottlers’ cheer
      But they’d no idea
      Although very sorry
      Said not to worry
      Others suggested Sherry
      So to get her merry

  53. Continuing the neologisms

    noun: coonundrum; plural noun: coonundrums

    a confusing and difficult problem or question that cannot be solved without blaming whitey

  54. The BBC must win back those it has estranged

    Tim Davie has a challenge ahead as he takes on the role of Director General

    TELEGRAPH VIEW

    Tim Davie faces a baptism of fire as the incoming Director General of the BBC: he will be told to come up with a replacement for the licence fee now that decriminalisation has been described as a “done deal”. This is the right decision, particularly given that most over-75s will be liable for the licence fee. There is no justification for hounding people through the courts to bankroll such an antiquated model, especially when much of the content produced by the BBC seems designed to insult them.

    There are reasons to be optimistic about Mr Davie’s elevation. [Not in Nottland…] It is reported that he intends to tackle stars who top up their salaries with private work and journalists who sound off about their political views on social media. But the crisis in the BBC is not just about overt bias, it is also – to borrow a phrase of the Left’s – a case of systemic prejudice. The BBC conveys a liberal-Left ethos through the programmes it makes and the messages they push. An alternative might now be in the offing from GB News, a commercial rival recently granted a licence by Ofcom.

    The Proms row felt like a turning point. Those who wanted to silence the lyrics to patriotic songs seemed to assume that the country shared their politics, but many of the people who are most loyal to the Proms absolutely do not, and they took real – possibly lasting – offence. Time and again, the BBC’s desperate bid to appeal to those who do not watch the BBC alienates those who do. The reason why BBC content is such a contentious topic among small-C conservatives is because they are some of its most loyal viewers and listeners. Every little partisan attack is actually rather hurtful. The BBC has to win back those it has estranged, and deliver value for money.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2020/08/31/bbc-must-win-back-has-estranged/

    1. It is too late. Far too late. We have fallen out of love. The magic only happens once. It should not have been taken for granted.

      1. Trust can take a lifetime to build and be lost in an instant, a lesson that the BBC should have considered.
        Let them now try to make their way in the big wide world without being subsidised by the rest of us.

    2. I will reserve judgement on Tim Davie until he shows he understands the image which a Director General of the BBC ought to project and then buys and wears a tie with his suit.

  55. India captures Chinese camp in disputed Ladakh as violence erupts again between superpowers. 31 August 2020.

    Indian troops have captured an important Chinese military post after allegedly fighting off an attempt by the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) to occupy further Indian territory in the disputed border region of Ladakh.

    On Saturday evening, around 500 Chinese troops had tried to cross into Spanggur, a narrow valley near the village of Chushul and three hours of hand-to-hand combat ensued.

    Hmmm! I don’t think the Chinese are going to let that lie!

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/08/31/india-captures-chinese-camp-disputed-ladakh-violence-erupts/

  56. Good night all.

    Enjoyed the 2nd 1/2 of the chicken puttanesco, followed by nectarines baked with sherry.

  57. HAPPY HOUR –
    Recently a NoTTler apologised for posting an ‘OFF TOPIC’ post. Bring it on…
    I welcome off topic posts hence HAPPY HOUR a welcome relief from the doom and gloom of politics and current affairs.
    Eeyore posted a request for dogs names earlier today which was well received and yesterday I posted TV’s favourite copper my own being Morse.

    Today’s off topic – Favourite film music now on Radio Classic FM.
    Jaws theme always springs to mind but difficult to choose only one.

    Posted previously I love this from Morricone.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-YD2Y8ojYE

    So NoTTlers let’s hear your favourite film music

      3. We played Lara’s Theme at my Mum’s funeral. Her choice. Her sister wanted it too but Aunty passed away in her sleep aged 100 at the beginning of March and we weren’t able to go to the crem in April. There’ll be a church service and interment In due course though, so a chance to put that right.

    6. A tie between the Battle of Britain, 633 Squadron and First of the Few (Sir William Walton, the last one – Spitfire Prelude and Fugue).

    9. For a musical, it would be West Side Story, for film theme for me it has to be Vangelis and Chariots of Fire. I would also add Lawrence of Arabia and Exodus, (fell in love with Paul Newman when I was a teenager!)

    14. For me it us the theme music from the bbc’s Pride and Prejudice (1995?). It sounds so happy and it makes me feel happy too whenever I hear it.

        1. That prat Geldof more or less single handidly caused the population explosion in Ethiopia.

          The rule has to be that pop stars should never be given the light of day on political matters. They are almost universally thick and have little or no knowledge of world affairs.

          The thing I find most alarming is the fact that some non-descript untalented warbler should feel entitled to lecture the rest of us about international affairs.

          Has the world gone mad, or what?

          1. And there are probably, because of him, more people starving in Ethiopia now than there were then.

          2. In his misguided altruism he was responsible for an enormous population explosion. After images of starvation travelled the world.

            Food shortages were never the problem in Ethiopia. War was. People were unable to tend their fields.

            The markets in Ethiopia are overflowing with home grown produce now war has receded.

    1. All these extra “cases” are pretty meaningless if people are not ill. They might just as well be the summer sniffles.

    2. I repeat my view, ever since testing started in earnest, that testing is pretty pointless. All that matters is the number of deaths from Covid19 (but of course this figure has been seriously and deliberately muddled). The government is wasting yet more of our money by its test, track and trace initiative. Employing who knows how many testers, trackers and tracers, for what purpose exactly?

      As Prof Sikora informs us there are fewer than 400 in English hospitals with this virus. So why is the NHS working to full capacity once more? The virus is obviously dying out and so many have been cast aside by the NHS because they don’t have the virus . Why doesn’t the government wake up and scrap all these ridiculous restrictions, including social distancing. The whole thing is utterly scandalous. They have terrified the populace with their constant advertising both on TV and radio, even roadside signs saying “stay alert, control the virus, save lives”. It has all been a gigantic scam costing the country £billions and causing unemployment like never before.

      I cannot understand why they cannot see what they have done to the U.K., which makes me very suspicious of the rush to develop a vaccine. We were told many months ago that a vaccine would take at least 18 months to a year to develop and now we’re told that a vaccine is being trialled. It cannot possibly have been proved safe. It doesn’t give much confidence either when you read that drug companies have been given immunity from prosecution for adverse/side effects.

      Anyway, bedtime beckons. Had a migraine earlier this afternoon and feel all washed out. Night night all, have a good one. Excuse all typos, CBA to read through.

  60. That’s me for this very agreeable day. Smashing bonfire; lots of work done in the garden. Goats cavorting. Wonderful dog names and snaps. A nd, above all – feeling WELL.

    The MR cheerful – what more can a man ask – except for some medicine. That is on its way.

    A demain.

  62. Evening, all. Have harvested most of the spuds and weeded one of the veg plots. It took an inordinate amount of time. My dog watched me work for a couple of hours, then got bored and wandered in – there’s only so much enjoyment one can derive from watching others toil, it appears 🙂 I decided to grill myself a fish fillet and have veg with it for supper – silly me! The new cooker doesn’t have a grill pan (I knew I shouldn’t have got rid of the old one) and the effing fillet fell through the bars when I was trying to turn it over, disintegrating in the process. What a dog’s dinner it turned out to be 🙁 Have opened a bottle of Shiraz and am simultaneously celebrating the work I have managed to get through and commiserating with the useless grill I’m lumbered with. I console myself with the thought that it won’t be long before I light the Rayburn and then I shall have a cooker that I’m familiar with.

    1. Wrap in grease proof paper not forgetting to add wine and herbs and then in foil. 15 mins and you are there at 190’c.

      Why on earth didn’t you get the dog to do the digging!… 🙂

    2. Evening, Conners.

      Modern stoves drive me up the wall. Here in Scandyland, there are no stoves with double ovens and when you mention grill pans you get a blank look in return! I had to order one from Lakeland. How else do you grill your cheese on toast? You can’t lie a toaster on its side!

          1. Indeed. Fried isn’t as good, but Norway is like Grizz describes Sweden – no grills.

          2. There is a grill in the top of my single oven but you can’t use that and the oven at the same time, as you can with a proper double oven cooker.

          4. We have a double oven. The top is multifunction – fan oven/grill/microwave/fan oven & grill. Very handy if main oven is in use.

          5. Unlike your average Swede, I like my hot food on a hot plate. It’s not easy heating your plates if you only have one oven in use (it’s not easy keeping cooked food warm either if you are still using the solitary oven for cooking).

            Swedes habitually serve warm food on cold plates. Halfway through the course you are eating cold food but they seem to think that is normal!

          6. I use the warming drawer, which is also used for some slow-cooking, eg slow-roasted (3-4 hours) plum tomatoes.

          14. I never buy the stuff that’s full of water. I buy dry-cured or cure my own. Grilled bacon is OK but you lose the precious drippings which are essential for frying the egg in (or dipping up with some bread).

          16. I’ve tried the cold frying pan technique, John. I went back 18 hours later and the bacon was still raw!

          17. I agree it is best to start with a frying pan with butter but then I would place under a grill to finish. I just hate the stringy fat and prefer crispy bacon. Each to his own as ever.

        2. I have cheese-on-toast often. Also beans-on-toast or egg-on-toast.

          My favourite, though, is cheese-on-toast, with beans on that, then topped with a poached or fried egg.

          2. I have cayenne pepper on mine. Cheese grated and mashed with a drop of milk and Coleman’s mustard. Grilled until it bubbles and browns then a light sprinkling of the CP. Might have that for tea this evening.

          4. All heated up on your firebox shovel? Then washed down with a quart mug of builder’s fireman’s tea?

        3. We can do cheese on toast in our microwave, setting it to pizza mode. You just have to keep an eye on he eruptions behind the glass and switch off at the soonest.

          In my next and probably last house I will install a pukka kitchen with a Salamander grill for cheese on toast, toasted teacakes and a variety of other staples and delicacies.

    3. Conway, console yourself with the thought that Shiraz doesn’t go with fish and that you have saved yourself the palate clash that would have occurred! Find a decent cheese and do something inventive to suit the wine!

      1. I am a philistine, me. I could not be bothered to chill a white to go with what remained of the fish. I prefer red, anyway.

        2. Which is why we had red with the sea bass the other night – but I do prefer a nice chilled white with fish.

    1. True_Belle, Lidl has its own in-store bakery for bread and cakes, but Aldi has those products delivered to the store.

    3. Perhaps that’s what we need! The ceiling is so high in our sitting room – but we don’t know where the big black one went last week.

        1. I’m a total arachnophobe – I can live with the the very thin leggy ones that live in the corners of the ceiling, especially in the downstairs loo, but the black hairy ones scare me rigid.

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