Sunday 24 December: Baroness Mone’s dishonesty is a lesson in why people mistrust politicians

Posted on by Geoff Graham

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501 thoughts on “Sunday 24 December: Baroness Mone’s dishonesty is a lesson in why people mistrust politicians”

  6. Baroness Mone’s dishonesty is a lesson in why people mistrust politicians

    She’s been a handy distraction from the horrors of the pandemic I suppose

    2. From some of the comments she has made, Mone has apparently kept the emails from ‘senior’ snivel serpents that pertain to the scamdemic fiasco. I hope that she hasn’t trusted them to the cloud but made hard copies.

      I say that as actual scientists (as opposed to taxpayer-funded ‘experts’) down under have had many of their ‘non-compliant’ records/papers removed from the cloud by the authorities

  7. Malign Iran is threat to the world, warns Cameron. 24 December 2023.

    Britain will not tolerate the escalation of Iran’s “malign” activities in the Middle East or on UK soil, Lord Cameron has warned.

    In his first newspaper interview since returning to government, the Foreign Secretary described Hamas, the Houthis and Hezbollah as “proxies” for Iran who were contributing to an “extremely high” level of “danger and insecurity” around the world.

    In a significant toughening of the UK’s approach, the former prime minister told The Telegraph that Iran must be sent “an incredibly clear message that this escalation will not be tolerated”.

    As you read this empty bluster it is wise to remind yourself that this buffoon initiated the attack on Libya that essentially destroyed the country and made it a pathway for mass immigration to the Mediterranean and Europe.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2023/12/23/malign-iran-threat-to-world-warns-david-cameron/

    1. In our quest to root out evil in the world and to foster, protect and steward the good, it seems that no nation is spared this conflict. If we are blinkered about this, an awful lot of babies would perish as we drain the bath of polluted water.

      I have pointed out the difference between malign forces in the Knesset and the good that Jews throughout the world, and that contrary to the frankly sinister IHRA definitions of “antisemitism” that so perverted British democracy, the same distinctions must be made in Iran.

      I have a penpal in Iran, a doctor born in Neyshabur whom I first wrote to when she was a medical student in Hamedan, and is now a renal consultant, although I prefer my kidneys in pies. She is now married with a son, a devout Muslim, but in the same breath an outspoken critic of the regime under the clerics. She has had to treat too many girls beaten up by the morality police to think these evil people have any claim to morality, and even less to act on behalf of the God she serves.

      1. Sadly, there is sufficient content within the Koran to give full justification for the excesses of the extremists and it is those extremists who hold sway in so many Muslim countries.

        1. It was Tommy Robinson, the scourge of the Muslims, who got together with an Islamic scholar to rearrange the Koran in chronological order. It was quite revealing. Mohammed’s teaching while he was married to Khadijah and living in Mecca were quite at odds to the time after Khadijah passed away, Mohammed was thrown out of Mecca, and he was then leading a nomadic life with numerous wives (including the six-year-old Aisha) as a travelling warlord.

          2. Yes it was in 2019. ‘Mohammed’s Koran’ by Peter McLoughlin and Tommy Robinson, publisher McLoughlin, ISBN 0995584923, 9780995584921. The latest edition includes an appendix chronicling how this book was censored by powerful forces, including global corporations.

          3. Happy Christmas Jeremy.

            Your recent questions about privacy have several solutions, but none are particularly simple. As far as I am aware, all popular chips (etc) have a backdoor, and I suspect that software firewalls have a similar vulnerability.

    2. Man’s an idiot. Should read the stories in the papers about the lack of ammunition due to sending it to Ukraine. It’ll take a long time to fix that. What will he use, nuclear weapons? Arsehole.

      1. Arrest all the Iranian benefits shoppers on the Pro Palestine marches for extensive checks and interviews.. Thought not.

      3. Absolutely nothing. As an aside, I read that some European nations have declined the invite by the US and UK to join their latest adventure in the Red Sea/Persian Gulf, unless NATO or some other culpable body heads up any such coalition.

    4. The spoon-faced muppet is the epitome of a (failed) PR man, all front and no substance. Suspicious minds may wonder if the only reason he has been foisted upon the electorate (from the safety of the Lords) is to set a contemporary precedent for Lord Miranda Blair to offer similar self-serving support to Beer Korma when he enters Downing Street by default (default of the useless TINOs).

  8. Quick question. I normally just roast my turkey but see increasing references to brining them. Does anyone out there have experience on brining? Or opinions there on? [stands back…]

      1. Nor me. I would prefer to eat the cooked flesh of ANY other bird or animal.

        As for turkey ‘crowns’ (the breast), why just buy the least flavourful part of an already flavour-depleted bird? The meat on the legs and thighs of ALL poultry has much more flavour and succulence than the breast.

          1. Good morning, Minty and Grizzly. The Master (Harry Lime) says he prefers my thighs – to look at not to eat! Lol.

    2. We thought about doing it as we’re having a turkey breast roll and thought it might make it more tender. However taking a chance that we may not like have decided against the gamble.

        1. Not known for their haute cuisine.
          Use a meat thermometer and check regularly. Cooking times for poultry were at the suggestion of the government to Supermarkets because half the birds have salmonella.

    3. Brining is to keep the bird moist supposedly. What is true though it will kill most of the nasties in the interior because of the high salt content.

          2. Yep. Tried it because American friends raved about it, and had the same experience. I do roughly what Stephenroi suggests.

      2. A Cordon Bleu method is to cover the turkey Breast with bacon place the bird upside down on a trivet inside a roasting tin add a couple of pints of stock (made from the giblets) cover the bird completely with aluminium foil sealed round the edge of the roasting tin to keep the steam in. Cook for several hours on a low heat setting. Topping up the stock from time to time.

        The really tricky bit is taking the bird out of the oven removing the foil, pouring off the stock for the gravy and then turning the bird the right way up after which it is put back in the oven to brown.

        We’ve found this method not only ensures the Turkey is cooked but the meat also stays moist.

      3. I’ve never done that but always before cooking a chicken (or any bird) I boil the kettle and pour the boiling water through the inside of the bird. We’ve never gone down with any nasties from my cooking.

    4. Bill said something yesterday about the MR brining their big chicken. Not sure what it does to the eating qualities.

    5. I remember the recipe used by our dear departed Queen, “For the last 45 minutes in the oven make sure the bird is uncovered to ensure a lovely golden brine colour.”

    6. I have Christmas dinner with two sisters. They have taken to brining the turkey in the last few years. The normally dry meat comes out lovely and moist. Well recommended.

  9. Good morning all.
    An extremely mild but blustery morning with a tad under 8°C outside and a steady roaring of the wind through the trees further up the valley sides.

    A BTL explanation of the 20mph speed limits in Wales in answer to another post:-

    Tom Archer
    1 HR AGO
    Robin Beynon
    When driving in built up areas, my gaze is predominantly focused down, to take account of other cars, speed humps, cyclists, pedestrians etc.
    As such I find it very easy to miss 20mph speed limit signs, which are smaller than normal ones and stuck much higher in the air than everything else one has to watch out for.
    – I doubt I’m alone

    Morgan – Jones
    47 MIN AGO
    Reply to Tom Archer – view message
    Good morning Tom, if you think you have a problem when and if you ever pay us a visit this may help.
    Any roads that were previously 30 will now be 20 apart from the roads that aren’t going to be 20, which will still remain as 30.
    When you see street lights you have to assume that the roads will be 20 even if the signs still say 30 because despite the signs saying 30, the roads could be 20, apart from, of course, the roads (as explained above) which will remain 30 despite them being 20.
    It’s also important to remember that there will still be a number of roads which despite them having streetlights will not be 20, and in these cases they could be 30, 40, 50, 60 or even 70, however, always bear in mind that even if the signs on these roads still state 30 they could, of course, be 20 unless they are one of the roads that have been designated 30, in which case the 20 restriction will not apply. Courtesy of the Welsh Government.🤔

    1. Reminds me of the Rules of Cricket:
      “ # You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

      # Each man that’s in the side that’s in the field goes out and when he’s out comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.

      # When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

      # When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.

      # Sometimes, there are men still in and not out.

      # There are men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

      # Depending on the weather and the light, the umpires can also send everybody in, no matter if they’re in or out.

      # When both sides have been in and all the men are out (including those who are not out), then the game is finished.”

      1. Don’t they all go in (including the referee umpire) for tea and cakes at half-time (or whatever they call it)? Lol.

      2. It’s like that in London. Down on the road that leads from the A316 past Kempton Park into Kingston. 40, 30, 20, 30, 20… it’s almost as if they are trying to catch us out.

        Oh, wait…

      3. You should come to Sweden. We get 10kph (6mph FFS) changes all the time. We have roads, here in Skåne, where there are six changes of speed limit within 1 kilometre!

    1. … but some of us still tell jokes because they offend – some well up with tears while others bite their lips not to laugh.

    2. … but some of us still tell jokes because they offend – some well up with tears while others bite their lips not to laugh.

  13. That’s just ruined my Christmas

    Wordle 918 X/6

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    1. Gah! Got caught in the same trap of possible words!
      Wordle 918 5/6

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      ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
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  15. Morning, all Y’all.
    Somewhat prostrated with flu-like symptoms. Expect it’s just man-flu (=a cold), but timing could be better.
    Happy pre-Christmas, all Y’all!

    1. It is a cold if its what’s going round our family.
      But what an absolute stinker it is.
      And it’s bloody clingy, too. You think you’re better, then your’re not.

      And a Joyeux Noel to your and your’ns.

    3. You home yet or sitting in under miserable drizzle like the rest of us!? Looking forward to spring.

    2. I can’t bring myself to watch any of these vile creatures. Even hearing his name fills me with hatred for him. He should now be rotting in jail.

    1. Thank you Johnathan, and a merry Christmas to you too – here’s hoping for a positive new year…

  19. Good morning

    Dave † 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸🇮🇪🎸🎶
    @daveguitarjones
    During the Covid lockdown, if you had family round on Christmas Day, police could force entry to your home and make them go home.
    Does anyone know if this is service is still available, and if you have to book?

  20. Morning all 🙂😊
    Headline…..I believe that the public are already well aware that our political classes are mainly pathological and habitual liars. This is why our country has been wrecked, by their continuous disgusting and dishonest behaviour.
    Y’all Have a good time tomorrow and boxing day. Best wishes. 🤩🥂🍾🍻🍹

      1. Annie, I hope you got my Jacquie Lawson e-card. I seem to have misplaced the real card I had prepared for you and then forgot where you now lived. Have a Happy Christmas. If I find it in the next three months I shall personally deliver it to you, Bill and Spartie. Lol.

        1. :-). Yes, we did, thank you.
          I have been wrestling with an unfamiliar design programme to make a picture acceptable to Disqus.
          Talk about learning being a lifetime process!

      2. A few years ago in April we received two Christmas cards on the same day.
        They had been posted 16 months earlier, presumably both found at the bottom of the same bag.

  23. To all our Nottler friends,

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/74d268bd50de0fa41a533e67bdc7aad5bb5b737cd04a0a91571312ce50931ba5.jpg

    With very best wishes from

    Caroline and Richard (a.k.a. Rastus)

    Synopsis of 2023 :

    We stayed put, ran 10 weeks of French courses – which we shall continue to do as long as people still want to come to us and Richard does not become too senile! For the first time in all our time in France we did not go to either England or Holland – we still miss Mianda , whom we sold in 2022, and did not go to Turkey either so we were not very adventurous. However we welcomed some friends and family to Le Grand Osier during the year and we are always happy when friends and family visit us .

    Christo and Katy, who married in 2022, had a marvellous honeymoon travelling around New Zealand. They are living in their house in a village near Biggleswade. After a year designing robots Christopher is now back working as a design engineer for an International engineering company, while Katy is still working as a veterinary nurse.

    Henry and Jess are living in Lancaster. Henry is still writing computer programs in Artificial Intelligence and Jess, now with her freshly minted Ph.D, is continuing her work at Lancaster University. They will be visiting us for the New Year with Caroline’s sister, Pierrette, and her husband, Sjoerd.

    1. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you both! A lovely festive photograph.

      Interestingly, our younger son and his wife and little family also live in a village near Biggleswade, perhaps they are neighbours! Our son is also a design engineer. Perhaps Katy is a veterinary nurse at the surgery we visit in Biggleswade…. B’wade is 25 minutes by car from where we live in south Cambridgeshire.

          1. What an extraordinary coincidence!

            He is called Christo Tracey and lives in East Road.

          2. Our son lives in Vicarage Close. Perhaps your daughter-in-law works at Medivet in Biggleswade? The chief vet is from South Africa. It is a small world indeed.

          5. I know East Road. I cross it every Monday afternoon when I go to pick up our grandson from the local school. Vicarage Close is probably about 50 metres further down Church Road on the other side of the road from East Road. I park outside our son’s home as parking is difficult outside the school and then I walk up to the school.

    3. Merry Christmas, Richard & Caroline – that’s splendid Christmas photo of a Brace of Tasteys!!

  24. 379812+ up ticks,

    A word of caution regarding the tunnel network under the palace of westminster, shortly, when the great awakening among the indigenous peoples of the United Kingdom eventually hits home, the tunnel beneath sign-posted ODESSA
    MUST be netted at the exit end, with an anti scurrying stun gun easily accessible.

    A

  25. Just about to leave or Cromer. Where it will rain. Back later. Play nicely – you could always stick pins in effigies of the Babbling Poltroon, Fishi, Cur Ikea Slammer etc etc.

  27. ‘Morning All

    Please tell me I’m asleep and in a episode of The Twilight Zone ’cause these headlines can’t be real can they………..

    Pictured: Priest replaces Joseph for same-sex nativity scene

    Parish priest defends having two mothers of baby Jesus as reflective of modern families

    Teacher is banned for ‘misgendering’ pupil

    Kevin Lister lost ‘best job in world’ on very day Government finally issues trans guidance

    2. It’s wicked to mess with children’s heads and ruin the nativity play by writing out one of our culture’s best ever fathers so that a few adults can virtue-signal and make believe.

  28. Good morning, chums. Today I got up at 2 am to keep trying to send some more Jacquie Lawson cards to friends and family. Then back to bed at 4.30 a.m. I was woken by the alarm clock at 8 a.m. but decided to have a lie-in. I hope you all slept well last night and are almost ready for Christmas Day tomorrow. Having removed the lamb from the fridge to defrost I am more or less ready myself, so will knuckle down today to keep on reading the new Barbra Streisand autobiography. It is almost one thousand pages long and has to be returned to my local library on January the 30th, so today will be a read-a-thon. Enjoy your day.

    Wordle 918 4/6

    Today I did it in 4 – a splendid result.

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    1. It was Saturday night to Sunday morning – cue Oscar waking me up to let him out every hour until about 04.00. He does it every time I have to get up early 🙁 I dragged myself out of bed at 07.15 and it was pitch black.

  29. Nope I’m awake and the world really has gone batshit crazy

    Escape Medley

    https://media.gab.com/system/media_attachments/files/155/309/213/original/c64b97bbb3e47875.png

    https://media.gab.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=568,quality=100,fit=scale-down/system/media_attachments/files/155/308/006/original/9f51eb2bd32ab466.jpg

    https://media.gab.com/system/media_attachments/files/155/107/481/original/ea94f1171dc8f9d3.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f9d97ab56df494fe22656d43c6f8a4f290c346d647affac65cedd31fe14977a.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/950625ecdffc55dc513557d9bc6b8583ff42ee52b3c3389c9f585d5121e0c956.jpg

    Been there…………

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2afc21be6d7b9b0db7013f9af9b3a62c41c635673307e0012f7bf1b6865622a8.jpg

    1. The article calls him “liberal” but he’s the Archfascist – nobody less liberal than him.

  34. Fairly inflammatory stuff from Peter Sweden about methane blockers being fed to cows.
    Complete silence in corporate media.
    Project funded by Bill Gates, who coincidentally thinks the world is over-populated.
    Peter Sweden has been quite reliable in the past. This is the most concrete accusation against the methane blockers that I have seen.
    If anyone sees any more information, I would appreciate a link – thank you.
    At the moment my questions are – will these completely unnecessary toxins be fed to goats and sheep as well? and when will it become mandatory?
    https://twitter.com/PeterSweden7/status/1738699003842220127

      1. Are they talking about 5 million tonnes of CO₂ reduction that is the target or 5 million tonnes of CH₄? They don’t seem to make it clear which.

    2. 379812+ up ticks,

      Morning BB2,

      May one ask “if this cow was involved in a felony would one be able to ID it” ?

    3. 379812+ up ticks,

      Morning BB2,

      May one ask “if this cow was involved in a felony would one be able to ID it” ?

    4. I keep thinking nothing surprises me any more. There’s always something to prove me wrong. What a world we live in. But it’s only the western world I think. What absolute bar stewards they are.

      1. Yes, the methane produced by all the zebras and antelopes running round the Serengeti doesn’t alter the climate at all – only that produced by cows whose milk is drunk by humans….

    5. Meddling with Nature again!

      Clearly methane is the result of a cow’s/bull’s evolved (probably over millions of years) digestive system and these mega-rich know-nothings about what they are meddling with, have a God complex that allows them to believe they can undo these evolved systems in a year or two.

      Will someone save us from perverted science?

  35. Also from Twitter…this guy is a conservative ex muslim. Pretty much everything he says is bang on the nail!

    Momus Najmi
    @theworldofmomus
    Marxists and Islamists. Deal with them and you have your country back.

  36. A brief message from the newbie to all of my recently discovered sane friends at NOTTL, I wish you all a very happy Christmas, and a healthy, prosperous, intolerant and rebellious New Year!

    Kilo-Bravo-Oscar…!

    Vince

  37. It’s time to get our ‘Chelsea tractors’ moving to Ukraine. Hamish de Crettin-Gordon. 24 December 2023.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d2438c142064e38e4cb927248a07c790a9988c6d24579b0631169362bff9311.jpg

    It would be mystifying if ministers held up sending unwanted 4x4s as a Christmas present to our brave ally.

    Thankfully the US only sold us fifty useless destroyers when we were on our knees in front of the Third Reich.

    Vehicles like the one above are common in Somalia where they are called “technicals”. They are extremely useful for running over unarmed locals when they get stroppy. They are useless against modern armoured forces. The photograph itself looks like a publicity shot from The Expendables, which would probably be the crews fate if they ventured anywhere near the front line!

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2023/12/23/chelsea-tractors-moving-to-ukraine/

  38. 379812+ up ticks,

    And many an ordinary decent person would like to have a say in what was decorating / hanging from it.

    Dt,

    King Charles to replant Christmas tree following his annual broadcast
    A long-term environmental campaign, the monarch will for the first time deliver his festive message in front of a living tree

      1. Moaning, Dolly’s Slave.
        I had a bit of a discussion with the vet a couple of week’s ago, especially as I have to do all the dog walking.
        Those beautiful eyes are difficult to resist – especially when we’re eating chicken or liver.
        The vet recommended Hill’s Metabolic Weight Loss and Maintenance Food.
        I order it through the vet and you get money returned to you by Hill’s in the form of a credit that builds up to a free bag.
        Spartie has it with a bit of meat for his PlaqueOff (morning) or his Apoquel (evening). I have to set the scales to the furrin’ measurements as I can’t picture the weights at all. He does appear to enjoy it, so that’s a bonus.
        Otherwise, as you well know, they become little fur covered food stools.

      2. p.s. I believe you can also get Hill’s Metabolic via the usual stockists as well, but I do not know whether it’s the same price or, as it’s a bit specialised, if you have to order it.

          5. Thanks again, Mahatma. I have my eldest daughter, but alas she is in Tasmania and where I am (RAFA housing) no pets allowed. Tomorrow, Christmas day, is just another day. We’ll get by.

  40. I’m not a naval expert, but I would have expected that the only way this could even start to be accomplished is if all Muslim countries decided to join in.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12898071/Iran-threatens-close-Strait-Gibraltar-Mediterranean-Sea-unless-Israel-stops-bombing-Gaza-warns-Tehran-deeply-involved-attacks-shipping.html

    Iran threatens to close Strait of Gibraltar and Mediterranean Sea unless Israel stops bombing Gaza as US warns Tehran is ‘deeply involved’ in attacks on shipping
    Iran has threatened to close the Strait of Gibraltar and the Mediterranean Sea
    It says that the US and other western states have backed Israel’s ‘crimes’ in Gaza
    The two waterways help carry up to a fifth of the world’s maritime trade

    Wars of religion, anyone?

    If it went that way who else would join in?

    If it did happen a few Muslim countries would have to be modernised, to bring them into the stone age.

          1. What they need to do is destroy the Revolutionary Guard, The Morality police and the Ayatollahs.
            Then the burqas would all be burned.

      2. When the Iranian hostage crisis took place in the 80s, my US colleagues in NATO used to say “Nuke ’em till they glow, then shoot ’em in the dark.”

  42. https://www.conservativewoman.co.uk/the-great-cosmic-game/

    Above is an attempt at verse from someone at the CW who is clearly from the William McGonagall School.

    BTL

    There was a young man from Japan,
    Whose verses rhymed but did not scan,
    With confused troche, dactyl, iamb and spondee
    When asked to respond he
    Said: “I like to put as many syllables in the last line as I possibly can.”

    1. I have a different version:
      There was an old bard from Siam
      Who’s poems never would scan
      When asked why this was so,
      he said “I don’t know”
      “But I like to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can”

  45. Blackmail.

    Patient’s ‘shock’ bill on way to op

    Do

    you have private health insurance? Millions of people in the UK do,

    paying a monthly premium so that they may be able to fast track that

    vital op.

    With NHS waits spiralling,

    the number taking out contracts is ever rising, too. But last week, I

    heard an interesting – and worrying – story about a chap who was on his

    way into surgery when he was given a ‘surprise’ bill that he wasn’t

    expecting.

    He was told he’d have to pay £800 in anaesthetist fees out of his own pocket – and, if not, his operation would be called off.

    A

    bit of asking around revealed that the doctors’ pay disputes aren’t

    simply limited to the NHS, and these ‘shock’ bills are a symptom of

    medics in the private sector demanding they’re paid properly.

    I’d like to hear if something similar has happened to you. Write to me and let me know.Cancer

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-12896477/DR-ELLIE-CANNON-GP-says-no-treatment-blood-cancer-right.html

    2. Thanks, Hatman – hope all is as well with you and yours as it can be in these terrible times.

    6. Hi Hatman
      Long time… Hope all’s well with you and yours.
      And (as I learned from you), May you be reinscribed in the Book of Life!

    9. Happy Christmas, Pud.
      And if she’s still around, tell the boy’s mother that there’s no room at the mat. unit.

    11. Very good to see you again – but you should bear in mind that puppies are not just for Christmas they should always be there!

      Happy Christmas

  47. I see lord greensil is wasting no time…

    Albania’s new ambassador to the UK, who

    will work with the Government to help stop the small boats crisis,

    sneaked into Britain illegally in the back of a lorry.

    Uran

    Ferizi, 42, made a bogus asylum claim when he arrived in Calais in

    1998, claiming to be Kosovan and giving a false date of birth.

    Last week, he was officially accepted by David Cameron’s Foreign Office – despite Home Office reservations – as the official representative of Albania in Britain and will now be formally appointed by the King at Buckingham Palace.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12897139/Albanias-ambassador-illegally-sneaked-Britain.html

  49. Well – Cromer was heaving. Most shops open. It seemed just like a weekday. Very odd. The MR reported that the X-Ray unit was full of people in sports gear!

    1. When we went to collect the turkey from a nearby farm, there was a blasted convoy of cyclists. ALL MALE of course!

      1. Ah – we had one of those blocking the A148 – decked out in lycra, helmet, bright white flashing light half way across the road. Caused a lot of trouble for drivers. Bastard.

    2. I have just had, of necessity, a visit to the pharmacy at Tesco. Quiet it was not. Still lots of all sorts of food available, loads of everything. That was two hours ago. People arriving in their droves as I left, perhaps hoping for reduced prices. The roads were busy.

  50. Good morrow, Gentlefolk. today’s story
    Dig
    Bill is walking through the jungle when he falls in some quicksand. He’s in up to his knees when this guy walks by and says, “I’ll help you out if you suck my dick!”
    Bill responds “Get out of here you goddamn fag-boy!”
    So, the guy walks away. Soon, Bill is up to his waist when another guy walks along and says, “I’ll help you out if you let me fuck you in the ass!”
    “Hell no! Get out of here you, rump ranger!” says Bill.
    So, the guy walks away.
    Bill is up to his neck by the time a third guy comes walking by. Fearing for his life, Bill yells, “Help me! Please! I’ll suck your dick and I’ll let you fuck me up the ass! Just help me out of here!”
    So, the third passer-by stomps down on Bill’s head, saying “die, fag-boy, die!”

  51. This puts having to put up with the In Laws over Christmas into perspective.

    HMS Salvia (K 97).
    Corvette (Flower).

    Complement:
    106 officers and men (106 dead – no survivors)

    On 23rd December 1941, HMS Salvia (K 97) (LtCdr John Isdale Miller, DSO, DSC, RD, RNR) was escorting convoy TA-5 when Shuntien was sunk by U-559 (Heidtmann). The ship carried 850 prisoners of war and the corvette stayed behind to collect survivors but was not seen again, only oil and wreckage was found by HMS Peony (K 40) about 100 miles west of Alexandria. At 01.35 hours on 24th December, U-568 (Joachim Preuss) had fired a spread of four torpedoes at HMS Salvia (K 97) which was hit by one of them and broke in two. The stern part sank rapidly while burning oil covered the sea and the fore part followed after a few minutes. All four officers and 54 ratings were lost together with the master, 47 crew members and an unknown number of gunners and prisoners from the Shuntien.

    Type VIIC U-Boat U-568 was sunk at 0500hrs on 28th May 1942 in the Mediterranean Sea north-east of Tobruk by depth charges from the British destroyer HMS Hero and the British escort destroyers HMS Eridge and HMS Hurworth, after being located by a British Blenheim aircraft (203 Sqn RAF/S). 47 survivors (no casualties).

    https://uboat.net/media/allies/warships/br/corv_hms_salvia_k97.jpg

      1. By about mid 1943 it was virtual suicide for a U-Boat to attack a defended convoy. The weapons, technology, and tactics of the Allies, mainly developed by the British and Canadians made this so.

          2. They helped with the tactics and built and manned significant numbers of escorts. Their efforts are one of the great unsung achievements of the Second World War.

          3. Canadian ships and pilots also took part in the relief of Malta. Many deaths.
            Can’t see the same result happening today.

          4. They did far more than people realise. They were always the first to volunteer for the hardest operations.

          8. So does Normandy – there’s an Avenue des Canadiens (and a monument) because they liberated the town.

          1. Typically British. Don’t bother developing the stuff you need to fight a war until about 6 months after you start to need it.
            See The Great War for this.

          1. There is a statue of my grandfather on the caisson at Portland Bill. He was one of many on the minesweepers leading the Normandy landings.

      1. The bombing of Dresden was done at the request of the Soviets, and people who protest against it tend to forget, or are ignorant of the bombings of Guernica, Stalingrad, Leningrad, Rotterdam, Coventry, the East End, The Baedeker Raids, and the thousand and one other places.
        There is also the essential fact that had the Germans had the resources they would have done the same and worse.

          3. Indeed, but copious volumes of good strong cider are solving the problem – and providing liquid for snot production

          5. Children are now taught that it was England that declared war (true) on an innocent, unprepared, defenceless Germany…. Nothing about Poland etc. Having lived through most of it, it makes me sick.

  53. I don’t think I need to repeat here what I have said elsewhere about playing the ball, not the man/woman, but will wish everyone a happy Christmas and healthy New Year when they come.

  55. Stupidly strikes again:

    “James Cleverly was forced to apologise on Saturday night when it emerged he had joked about giving his wife a “date-rape” drug hours after announcing a government crackdown on drink spiking.

    The home secretary reportedly told female guests attending a Downing Street reception last week that “a little bit of Rohypnol in her [his wife’s] drink every night” was “not really illegal if it’s only a little bit”.”

    Are we not just soooo lucky to have wanqueurs such as this one “running” the country?

    1. He’s hoping that the drugs he is giving her will obviate his need to be a self-sufficient wanqueur!

    2. Why would he think a joke about date rape drugs would be funny? I expect for his encore he made jokes about FGM.

    4. Cleverly is just the latest in a run of useless MPs for Braintree. He succeeded the American Brooks Newmark who was apt to send unsolicited photographs of his todger to women.

  56. Dear God.
    Sound of Music is on TV.
    Granddad is trying to fix the tuning box, all multimeters and pliers, but…

    1. Yo Ol

      I think that I am the only person, in the whole history of the Universe, who has not watched/listened to “The Sound Of Music”

      Unless you know different

      Merry Christmas to you all and of course, all have 365 Merry Unchristmas days til the next one in 2024

      5. I hadn’t, until I got cast as Maria (well, blackmailed into singing her). Everyone knew all the words but me! 🤣🤣

          1. Pro opera soloist. I *am* the terrifying woman in the horned helmet, rattling the rafters! 🤣🤣

          2. Ah! So, did you sing Brunhilde or one of her sisters?
            And which of the sisters takes the lead in the Prelude to Act III?

      7. Me neither never watched the mush but somehow a tune comes to mind probably picked up from the playground at school.

        It is much the same memory as with the kids who pretended to be Daleks threatening to “exterminate” everyone in their path or others reciting a song from Mary Poppins.

      8. I’ve never watched it in its entirety, but it was on briefly tonight when I visited a friend. It was soon switched off.

  60. Just listening to the Carols from King’s live on BBC Radio 4.

    Yes, the reading from Genesis was from the King James Version but I noticed that a feminist had tampered with the text and left a few bits out!

    Cut out completely.

    Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

    And the reason why Man was punished was because he uxoriously did what his woman told him to do:

    And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, (Cut) and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it:

    the consequences were dire:

    … cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

    Of course John Milton was misogynistic and so, in Paradise Lost he does his best to blame the whole of Man’s Fall on Eve and exculpates Adam because he only gave into Eve because he loved her so much that he could not bear the thought of living in Paradise alone when Eve had been expelled. So Adam disobeyed God knowing full well that he would be punished.

    So the moral is: however much you love your wife don’ become subservient to her!

    (Easier said than done!)

    3. I have little doubt that the feminist movement bears a large part of the responsibility for the collapse of Western civilisation. Those who haven’t succumbed are still viable. We are finished.

      1. David Starkey made a sharp observation about feminisation and the victim culture in his ‘Brexit was a waste of time’ video.

        youtu.be/qyHda1EcqqE

  61. Excerpt from a DM article on long, bloated films.

    “Nothing illustrates this better than a comparison of the remarkable list of films released in December 1973 – among them The Wicker Man, The Sting, The Exorcist, Magnum Force, Serpico, Papillon and Richard Lester’s extravagant The Three Musketeers – with this month’s lacklustre output, the usual dispiriting diet of sequels, prequels and superheroes.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12897641/Sick-boring-preachy-movies-drag-hours-Film-critic-BRIAN-VINER-reviews-seven-Hollywood-masterpieces-released-month-50-years-ago.html

    1. Do they get special training in incompetence?
      If they do, you have to admit that their trainers are superb.

      Welcome to Nottle and a Merry Christmas.

        2. Nah, Trudeau doesn’t wear any footwear for Christmas. He has buggered off to Jamaica for his latest hols and is apparently taking his ex wife with him.

          The burning questioning here us if she is taking her friend (with benefits).

  63. Hullo all, the Wibbling household has been some what busy so dropping in to say have.A wonderful Christmas. You’ve kept me sane and going through a difficult year. Love to you all and families.

    4. Busy? Anyone would think that it’s Christmas! Enjoy the Winterval. Let loose the dogs of Wibble.

  64. Feliz Navidad one and all – Merry Christmas from Buenos Aires!! It’s muggy and piddling down, and I don’t care in the slightest!

    They celebrate on Christmas Eve here; I am invited to dinner tonight with Argentinian friends. Been told in no uncertain terms not to eat all day; meat and Malbec await. 😈 (Due to the latter, I shall *not* be taking my dancing shoes with me, even though invited to dances after midnight; it’s hard enough keeping one’s balance whilst standing on one foot and whirling around when sober! 🤣).

    1. It takes two to tango. Have a lovely evening – been that done that many times in yer France with the natives….. No need to eat for several days afterwards!

    2. Have a wondersful (sic) celebration and if, by any chance, you can’t remember it, you will have had a great time.

    5. I’ve experienced similar in Santiago, Chile, have a wonderful time, I’m normally a typical, man-dancer, but there were no such inhibitions to limit my terpsichore!

      Have a wonderful time.

    6. …and Feliz Navdad to you also – enjoy the meat and Malbec and have a truly great Christmas, Katy.

    8. Feliz Navidad, Katy. Have you a CD of Ariel Ramirez’s Misa Criolla and Navidad Nuestra? I always play the latter on Christmas day.

  65. Well, that’s King’s Nine Lessons over for another year*. Didn’t care for the new carol. Too much of a dirge.

    And as for the readers…..only the child reading the first lesson actually applied his mind to the meaning of the words. The rest (including the clerics) seemed just to be reading the words printed on the page without any thought to the sense they were supposed to be making…

    Standards, eh? I suppose in 2023 one cannot gently suggest to another how they should read. That would be a hate crime. Ah me..

    * My first actual memory is from 1944 at 25 The Chase, Stanmore.

    1. We have that tomorrow and it will be recorded.

      HG enjoys carol services, I think we must be in double figures now.

        1. We’ll listen and see.
          Being a dreadful traditionalist I suspect I may be borderline, at best.

    2. At the moment our Christmas music is on a par with the hit Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

      I certainly intend to fire up VPN and listen to / watch the real carols.

    3. Just listening to the new carol. Dirge is too generous in my opinion. What is certain is that I won’t be humming the melody on my way to Midnight Mass. It appears to be in several keys at once. Too clever by far. Oh, and Happy Christmas to you and the MR…

  66. An uninspired Par Four.

    Wordle 918 4/6
    ⬜🟨🟨🟨⬜
    🟨⬜⬜🟨🟩
    ⬜🟩🟩⬜🟩
    🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    1. Same here, Lacoste.

      Wordle 918 4/6

      🟨🟩⬜⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

      1. Five for me.

        Wordle 918 5/6

        🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜
        ⬜⬜🟩⬜🟩
        ⬜⬜🟩🟨🟩
        🟨🟩🟩⬜🟩
        🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    2. Less inspiring still
      Wordle 918 5/6

      ⬜🟨⬜🟨🟩
      ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
      ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜
      🟨🟩🟩⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    2. He has a very knowing look on his little face, I’d warrant he’s been around the block before…!

  68. That’s me for this dreary but very mild day. I wish you all a peaceful and reasonably sober Christmas Eve (apart from Ashes, of course..who’ll be doing the fandango whether she likes it or not!)

    Have a spiffing evening.

    A Noël.

  70. Family went off to a Christingle service earlier. 7 year old grand daughter was put in. charge of a bucket of water. When she asked why? was told she could throw it over the Vicar if he caught fire.
    I’m told throughout the service she continued to mutter “go on, go on”

    After the service Grandmother was asked by the Vicar why our grandchild had been muttering ‘go on’ all the time. He was simply told that: ‘She was hoping he would fulfil her Christmas wish!”….

  71. There’s been nothing from the McPhee today due to having a free-range grandchild about the house. It’s been chaos.

    Merry Christmas, everyone.

    1. Having lived in York Sue, I wish you well. Burtonstone Lane and Acomb. Happy Yorkshire Christmas.

      1. Tuesday is a free day so I may see if there’s a bus to Acomb and go for a little wander around once familiar streets. The receptionist here at the hotel tells me I won’t like what I see. She’s my age group and remembers it from better days.

    2. I drove up to Glasgow yesterday. Siix and a half hours, but stopped several times. Staying until 27th.
      Wet and windy.

      1. I’ve also lived and worked in Glasgow. Not the sweetest city but I’m hoping to return ‘ere long for romantic reasons. should you return via Moffat I’ll welcome you. Call on 0775 768 2036 and we will accommodate.you as best we can.

  73. Have spent all day scrubbing the kitchen clean. A big job; I don’t mind, I have a big kitchen. My first kitchen was 3’ wide by 6’ long; some people have to cope in such a small kitchen still so I am not complaining. When I rule the world, amongst other things (manners; a standard configuration for vehicle back lights; everyone to play the One True Sport) I will mandate decent-sized kitchens for all.

      1. The marvellous game of “field” hockey!!!
        (How i met my husband and which I still play – a truly multi-generational game).

      2. The marvellous game of “field” hockey!!!
        (How i met my husband and which I still play – a truly multi-generational game).

    3. Well done you. Did ours yesterday and we’ve done some prep for tomorrow. Now sitting down coz of back ache.

  74. Have spent all day scrubbing the kitchen clean. A big job; I don’t mind, I have a big kitchen. My first kitchen was 3’ wide by 6’ long; some people have to cope in such a small kitchen still so I am not complaining. When I rule the world, amongst other things (manners; a standard configuration for vehicle back lights; everyone to play the One True Sport) I will mandate decent-sized kitchens for all.

  76. “Baroness Mone’s dishonesty is a lesson in why people mistrust politicians

    It’s a lesson to people who avoid paying tax, scam the welfare system and generally live off of others who pay into the system.

    First, don’t get caught. Secondly, if you do get caught, just say, “What’s good for the (shyster politician) goose is good for the gander.

  77. Evenin’ all. Am a bit crook with my back – great timing right!

    Anyway, here’s wishing all Nottlers everywhere a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you are all with family or friends and have a wonderful time.

    See you all soon. xxx

    3. Hi Maggie. Sorry to hear that. My timing is rather better, since testing negative for Covid this morning. Have done two Nativity services today, back to Seale tonight for Midnight Mass, then Puttenham tomorrow morning. Both services are being led by the Bishop of Dorking, since out Rector has been ill with bronchitis and Covid for some weeks. I just hope we can manae a reasonable turnout for him, although there are dark forces afoot trying to split the congregation. I shall say no more…

      Hope you get well soon, and Merry Christmas to you and John…

      1. Heyup Geoff!
        Glad you’re feeling better now.
        I’ve got the DT and three lads pimping up the tree at the moment!
        Dr. Daughter is not due to arrive until tomorrow evening.

        Merry Christmas to you and anyone else reading this!

      2. Thanks Geoff. Doesn’t sound too good about the congregation. I thought a church services were to bring people together!

    4. Out of the blue….I’ve got the same problem vw. I investigated and discovered it was likely due to the prescibed quadrupled dosage of one of my medications. Candesartan. Causes severe back pain.
      Unable to walk or stand straight for nearly three days.
      And one of the others I’ve dumped because of swollen legs below the knees and swollen feet.
      Take care and Happy Christmas and New year.
      Get well soon.

      1. I investigated and discovered it was likely due to the prescibed quadrupled dosage of one of my medications. Candesartan.

        Candesartan. ??
        Is that Spanish for Red wine?

        };-O

        2. That’s interesting. I’ve just started some other BP tablets. Will read all the docks and don’ts again.

    5. Get your old Aelf to do as he’s told.

      I hope you recover before tomorrow, have a great Christmas either way!

    7. Ouch! I ricked my back on Thursday cutting the fallen trees up, but it appears to be easing off now.

        1. I’d better!
          I’ve a woodstack empty and in need of refilling which I hope to have done by the end of the week.

  78. Following orders again, while im sitting watching Carol’s From Kings I now have to wrap several small prizes for a card game on boxing day. It’s gonna be busy here after lunch. I have a niece from Cape Town and her three teenage daughters staying with my sister and BiL all ‘popping in’ on boxing day afternoon.

  80. Now back home and online.

    Wishing every Nottler and your loved ones, wherever your abode is, a very Merry Christmas.

  81. Evening, all. Just back from yet another carol service followed by mince pies and coffee with one of the choir members. Feeling really festive and ready for Christmas Day in the workhouse in the doghouse with different friends and their seven dogs. Oscar and Kadi have been warned to be on their best behaviour or they won’t be asked again. I shall be nipping off to Midnight Mass later. A few years ago I would have walked but in the intervening time a) we have been enriched, b) the hills have got steeper and c) my legs seem to have got shorter.

  82. Evening, all. Just back from yet another carol service followed by mince pies and coffee with one of the choir members. Feeling really festive and ready for Christmas Day in the workhouse in the doghouse with different friends and their seven dogs. Oscar and Kadi have been warned to be on their best behaviour or they won’t be asked again. I shall be nipping off to Midnight Mass later. A few years ago I would have walked but in the intervening time a) we have been enriched, b) the hills have got steeper and c) my legs seem to have got shorter.

    2. Thank you sos! Wishing all Nottlers, and their families and loved ones, a wonderful Christmas! Hope you all have the Christmas you dream of! Lots of love and thanks to you all!

    3. In my comfy kitchen chair with nice wine and a decent book. Some good olives, cheese and sweet cherry tomatoes. A pleasant record playing decent music, listening to the dog snore.

      Fat chance! Daughter arriving with her fellah tomorrow lunch time with their dog that Oscar doesn’t like. Starting the the slow roast leg of lamb on a 6 hour cook at 11am, followed by the turkey crown as a gesture to turkey eaters. My son eating anything that doesn’t move too quickly. I’ll be called into the living room to open my presents and pretend to be delighted but then rush back to prep the veg.

      It’s not that bad I suppose, and I get offers of help in the kitchen that I thank them for, but turn down. I just have never got the enforced gay mood of crackers and games. Plus, I get an hour to leg it to the pub, get a free pint, buy a 2nd, along with buying 3 or 4 drinks for bar staff and landlord and lady. Wishing all in the pub a merry Christmas, then run back home to see if anyone knew I’d gone out. Probably a family walk with the dogs before the main meal.

      Otherwise, thanks for the thought and hope you and your wife have a lovely day.

    4. And to you Mr sos.

      Hopefully some good cheer and presents will be left for us by the time we get to festivities over in the frozen north.

    5. And to you Mr sos.

      Hopefully some good cheer and presents will be left for us by the time we get to festivities over in the frozen north.

  87. Hello dear Nottlers .

    I imagine I am catering for 6 or more , but we are 3 … and Moh said he wanted a turkey, a fresh one ..

    Lord alive , went to pick up the bird this morning from butcher.. presented with a large cardboard box .. full of bird and giblets , enough bird to feed 10, and my half pension gobbled up .

    We haven’t used the oven for a year.. saved on electricity by using 2 Air fryers and the gas hob , will the oven work?

    Gale has been blowing all day, but managed to for a walk and then drove to Swanage . https://www.facebook.com/100000735618305/videos/pcb.7416898621677918/6793259700796615

    Speakers on !

    1. Try deep frying the turkey. The Americans do it and they always report exciting times with the whole kaboodle going up in flames.

    2. The oven will work, not much to go wrong in there. Maybe give a bit of a dusting before use. 12 months, wow!

    3. None of us is particularly keen on turkey so we’ve got lamb.
      Tonight I made a fish pie. Younger son has been here for a couple of days now. Elder one arrives tomorrow. Last night we all went next door and had an enjoyable evening and roast pork (local pig).

      I bought a new laptop and son has set it up for me today and transferred my files and things. Had a test drive but it will take a bit of getting used to. I did a lot of work during the lockdowns on his family history so we had a look at that.

      1. I’ve got a piece of steak and I’ll open a tin of potatoes and roast them in the air fryer

      2. Hello J,

        Son no 2 is away , no 1 son will be running in a Xmas day 5k park run in the morning , then a 10k in the New Year.

        Moh and I feel as if we are in a giant void , watching the world revolve around us .. a sort of emptiness.

        My laptop is 8 years old, cracked screen and keys I have to hammer down on , most have faded or don’t work properly. Typing is a night mare .

        You are lucky to have a helpful son , clued up on IT stuff.

        What type of computer have you bought ?

        1. It’s a Lenovo from Amazon. He’s set it up with a newer version of Linux which is what we’ve always used.
          The old one is 11 years old and most websites won’t work now so it had to be done although it’s been a great little laptop to work on. Also Lenovo but a bit smaller than the new one.
          J is coughing and I’d better turn the light out so good night!

    5. Hope it all goes well, Maggie.
      Well be 5 for dinner with another 2 joining this evening. At least The Lads have already got the veg done.

    6. We don’t use the oven either, except on special occasions – since last year when the prices hiked up.

    1. Disney used to get very litigious about third-parties using the “Polar Express” moniker on their services.

  90. I’ve just checked the NORAD Father Christmas tracker – ‘ensure just flying over the South of France. Better get tucked in all you Nottlers who’ve been nice this year, ‘e’ll be at your chimney soon. I’ll stay up with all the other naughty Nottlers.

  92. Avoid a new film called SALTBURN like the plague.
    Moh and I watched it this evening .

    Plagiarism , I am certain Waugh would be turning in his grave .

  94. It’s one minute to midnight, so I will now wish you all a Good Night, chums, and a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to all my chums on this NoTTLe site. Sleep well, and I’ll see you in 2024. I may pop in over the next seven days.

  95. Merry Christmas, everybody! I’m just back from one of the most shambolic Midnight Masses I’ve ever attended. The Gloria and Sanctus were twiddly with lots of repeated phrases that weren’t in the book, the benedictus was omitted altogether, they announced the offertory and then didn’t bring the plate round, we sang two hymns at the end then the priest announced we’d sing the one we’d just sung as our final hymn. When it was pointed out we’d just sung that, another was announced, but so unclear I had no idea which number it was (and it wasn’t a hymn I knew anyway, either words or tune) so all I could do was stand there. Next year, I think I’ll be driving to my usual church regardless unless it’s snowing heavily.

    1. You are merely witnessing the disintegration of English Theology and practice, a practice developed over centuries by many devoted Christians.

      We have seen this with the denigration of our great traditional hymns and their replacement by drums and twangy guitars with the accompaniment of tambourines.

      The elimination of all that made us great continues and has been continuously attacked and belittled. Our great musical inheritances from Bach and Handel and our own great composers from Purcell, Stanford, Elgar, Holst, Vaughan Williams and Britten is subsumed by crap wokey nonsense, both tuneless and irretrievably dispiriting.

      The religious music of Bach leading up to Elgar was the folk music of its day as popular as Haydn and Mozart.

      How far has our western culture descended. Now we have cacophonous noise augmented by some Rapper crap.

      God help us.

      1. It seems to be true that doing a good job and taking pride in your work has been replaced by “anything goes”.

        1. I think this is partly because of the effect of so many women priests. Although there are exceptions of course, the typical feminine style is more apologetic, less confident of showing public leadership. So they try not to seem bossy by making the whole thing less formal, less smooth, less expert, in case anyone accuses them of having an inflated ego. Even men seem to be taking on that feminine way of getting the apologies in first, as a device to lower people’s expectations so that they won’t be disappointed. The overall effect is a bit “anything goes.”

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