Wednesday 25 December: Volunteers are the backbone of Britain – it’s time the Government recognised them

Posted on by Geoff Graham

An unofficial place to discuss the Telegraph letters, established when the DT website turned off its commenting facility (now reinstated, but we prefer ours),
Intelligent, polite, good-humoured debate is welcome, whether on or off topic. Differing opinions are encouraged, but rudeness or personal attacks on other posters will not be tolerated. Posts which – in the opinion of the moderators – make this a less than cordial environment, are likely to be removed, without prior warning.  Persistent offenders will be banned.

Today’s letters (visible only to DT subscribers) are here.

495 thoughts on “Wednesday 25 December: Volunteers are the backbone of Britain – it’s time the Government recognised them”

  1. Merry Christmas everyone and especially to Geoff, who, I am sure, I do not give enough credit to through the year. Without him we would be voiceless and lost.

    2. Agreed.
      A Merry Christmas to one and all and particularly Geoff.
      I hope he finishes playing his various church organs in good time for a splendid Christmas lunch.

  2. Morning Geoff and Everyone – Christmas Day already
    Today's Tale is an extra long one for Christmas.
    Trigger warning – some prudes (very few on this Blog) may be upset.

    A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.' So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

    When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass. A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people who broke my window?' 'Uh…yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied. 'Oh, no apology is necessary.

    Actually I want to thank you… You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.' Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

    'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!' 'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked. 'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said. 'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

    'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?' 'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.' The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

    She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?' You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!' So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, ‘How old are you and your husband?' 'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly. 'No kidding,' he said.

    'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'

    Y'all have a great Christmas Day. RC.

  3. Morning Geoff and Everyone – Christmas Day already
    Today's Tale is an extra long one for Christmas.
    Trigger warning – some prudes (very few on this Blog) may be upset.

    A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.' So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

    When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass. A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people who broke my window?' 'Uh…yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied. 'Oh, no apology is necessary.

    Actually I want to thank you… You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.' Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

    'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!' 'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked. 'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said. 'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

    'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?' 'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.' The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

    She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?' You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!' So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, ‘How old are you and your husband?' 'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly. 'No kidding,' he said.

    'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'

    Y'all have a great Christmas Day. RC.

  4. By the way, I was quietly reading the Telegraph Letters in bed at 05:15 when I began to hear squeals from the two little granddaughters in the next bedroom (I am staying with family). They are very good, and haven't come bursting into my bedroom (yet), where two sets of clip-on golden Reindeer antlers await them for the day.
    Oh to be that young again? I'm not so sure, but I hope they can stay safe in the future.

  8. Posted this yesterday on Monday's page by mistake.

    Found these: courtesy of Wayne Dunlap's account, except the first – copied earlier and forgot where from.🤔

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/11fce61eb48ac560d795dd5b824cfe15c7f02ebfecd567539522106c9e48b33b.png
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6d3bac45b2afc6fc308f1a81222a50056564fee0c4348140c3f61f5fce02c9b0.png
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d03815b20f3110ed1df8f52c71c1432df0b3a343e204b2c898c0135b5c18d198.png
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f66750c1ef77b3f1c14a78305dab19612c707a42a449a7ea9a9e318022d898c.png

    I know, I know, but it is Christmas!

    Cuisine? I have my doubts.🤮

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac2a953ce5f8dd8da27dc7a50645cc16170bbc6940f1dbd799115350418310ef.png

  10. Good morning, and a very Merry Christmas to all my NoTTLer chums. Thanks also to Geoff, for yet another NoTTLe page.

    Wordle 1,285 4/6

    🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜
    ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜
    🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩
    🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    1. Good morning Elsie and all, and a very Merry Christmas to everyone.
      Hope SirJasper is OK and wasn't dumped back in a cold flat alone.
      Wordle 1,285 3/6

      🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜
      🟩⬜🟩🟩🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    2. Well done and happy Christmas.
      My usual start word stood me in good stead.

      Wordle 1,285 2/6

      🟨🟨⬜🟨🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

  11. Wealthy gay couple who raped their adopted boys given 100 years in prison. 25 December 2024.

    A wealthy gay couple who repeatedly molested their adopted sons have been sentenced to 100 years in prison.

    Zachary and William Zulock will spend the rest of their lives behind bars after pleading guilty to multiple charges including aggravated sodomy and child molestation. They are believed to have abused the boys since they were three and five years old.

    These people were just obeying their instincts. It is the Society that gifted them these rights that is guilty,

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/us/news/2024/12/24/gay-couple-raped-adopted-boys-100-years-prison-atlanta/

      1. A sweeping generalisation, but cases like that don't exactly help matters.
        (Yes, I do know who Alan Partridge is.)

    2. They will be glued to Radio 4 today. So far it has been celebrating LGBTide – nearly every programme has been with or about queers and benders. Not suitable for Christmas!

      1. It is for the BBC – but then it's likely a counterpoint to the gays who raped 'their' children.

      2. CBCs contribution to lgbtide is a delightful ditty. Two Queens on a king sized bed.
        It is one of their selections for sexy Christmas songs. I will not post a link to this worthless piece of crap, it doesn't deserve the dignity.

        Poilievre is threatening to defund them when he becomes PM.

    3. Good morning, what makes their crimes even more heinous, as if the headline wasn't grotesque enough, they were filming the abuse and selling it online to their subscribers.

      1. They, and their sort, should have their tackle chopped off and stitched to their foreheads – then deported to somewhere nice, like Afghanistan or Syria.

  12. Good morning and Happy Christmas to you all!
    I am imagining the scenes of chaos and wrapping paper, tears and tantrums and frantic hungover parents, in millions of homes across the country! Here I sit, smug and fairly organised, having just about caught up with the prep! Just done the sprouts!
    Have a wonderful day, and many thanks for the laughter and company, to all of you! 🎄🤶🏻💕

      2. Don't mention the methane or Bill Gates will be round offering his Rumin8 liquors, as an after dinner 'treat'.

      3. Grandson would into the sprouts and not much else; thank goodness we're not visiting Chez Sonny Boy Snr today.

    3. No tantrums here ass everyone got what they wanted. Mainly because I asked them. There was a bit of a cacophony early on when wrapping paper came off and the dogs got over excited and had to be calmed down and I need to keep an eye on Lucy's claws as they cut paper far more easily than they should, but she's walking less than the boys so…

      We've decided to buy ourselves a decent four post table and chairs after making do with the pillared one.

  13. 399306+ up ticks,

    Morning Each,

    No doubt that when we get around to electing a government true to its patriotic title the much appreciated volunteer brigade will then receive the recognition it deserves.

    Wednesday 25 December: Volunteers are the backbone of Britain – it’s time the Government recognised them

    This will not come about until the very day
    mass enlightenment / unity dawns on the indigenous peoples
    in regards to what truly defines a "government"

    IMHO
    Peoples under the age of forty have not witnessed a patriotic pro English GOVERNMENT in power ,ALL we are suffering currently is
    political mobs warfaring, aided & abetted by a multitude of tribal fools.

    1. You forgot to say "Merry Christmas", Oggie. Is this your way of saying "Baah, Humbug"?!?!? Nonetheless, I wish you a very Happy Day.

      1. 399306+ up ticks,

        Morning EB,

        Priorities,priorities,priorities
        See the funny side too much to utter humbug, inho when we witness full churches ALL year round then greetings are truly in order.

        Have a lovely day followed by many more.

        1. Our congregations have been running in the mid to high forties all year round. Sixty on Christmas Eve and fifty plus today.

          1. 399307+ up ticks,

            Evening C,
            I attended the early 6.15 mass on Christmas eve, I would say high 40% with the midnight mass following , so in all not a bad attendance level,if only all year long.

    1. I have upvoted this post, Citroen1, but could someone please post on here what is written on the three stockings? The print is too small for me to read. Thanks.

    2. I have upvoted this post, Citroen1, but could someone please post on here what is written on the three stockings? The print is too small for me to read. Thanks.

        1. Somewhere in the not unpacked for two moves pile, we have a Guardian newspaper that was misspelt.

          FIL was night editor on the rag and they did it as a joke.

    2. For a robot this is actually easy. Strength isn't an issue as the power to weight ratio is fixed. As long as there's nothing changing the air around it landing is simple too. Notice both feet come down at the same time? It's simple geometry – for a computer. Humans struggle to do it because they need to apply more power than their body weight downward and can't then predict how far up they'll go.

      Now, when you can get a robot to make a cup of tea, carry it by the hand and hand it, handle first to a sitting pensioner in a crowded room with multiple objects moving around not spilling any I will be impressed.

    1. And how are you ?
      I went to a small birthday celebration yesterday and…….well you all know what it's like.

    2. Goodness, who on earth is talking about the British Empire over the table?
      Nobody under sixty even lived through it, and most of the rest of the population were children when it was dismantled.

      1. I think the point being made by the cartoonist is that it gets discussed in woke groups as the source of all the evils in the world.

      2. It’s probably because of all the current woke nonsense about the Empire, slavery and reparations.

    3. Just looked it up. Harry's A-Levels story was 20 years ago and I have no Idea who Hannah is, or was. Anyone know?

  29. FSB wishes all of you a very merry Christmas, and peace and plenty in the New Year.

    Our main article today So This Is Christmas , carries a simple message: Christmas is special, it is part of who we are as a people, and it is under attack from the lunatics trying to end the nation state and bring about global totalitarianism. It must be defended as well as enjoyed.

    At the end of today's article is a special treat – a rousing version of We Three Kings in Old English.

    And you have our thanks for your support. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

    freespeechbacklash.com

  30. Morning all 🙂🎅😊
    Happy Christmas to all.
    Thank-you Geoff for all your dedication to Nottlers.
    All have a lovely couple of days.
    Lunch at home with old friends today. Family day tomorrow, phew 😅😆🥰
    Slayders, enjoy.

  31. A belated good morning to all and a VERY Merry Christmas!
    A dull, dry and almost warm start to the day with 9.4°C on the Yard Thermometer.
    A high of 11.4° and low of 7.0°C for yesterday.
    As t'Lad has occupied the sitting room, I'm exiled to the laptop upstairs.

  32. Merry Christmas to you all and hope you have a wonderful day.
    We’re off to our daughter later who is entertaining the whole family, 9 altogether, and we’re staying overnight.

  36. This lady is obviously a Bruce Willis 'Die Hard' fan…

    ****************************************************************

    A cop stops a little old lady driving a Mini.

    He jokingly asks, "Any weapons in the car?"

    "Yes," she says, "a 357 magnum in the console, a 38 special on my ankle, a Colt 45 on my hip and a pistol grip pump action shotgun on the back seat. "

    "Bloody hell," says the cop, "what are you afraid of?"

    "Fucking nothing," she replies.

    *********************************************************

    Happy Christmas, Nottlers.

  37. A very MERRY CHRISTMAS to all NoTTLers and to all those whose sterling efforts make our lives a bit more bearable.😘

    Bah, humbug, to all those [WEF, the Left, the Woke, etc …] who do everything but!😡

    1. Didn't get into town in time to get my Christmas humbugs this year, but I have a bowl of cold porridge waiting for me downstairs.

    1. I’m afraid I can’t be arsed to hoof it round to the Minster, though I’m in York and within walking distance. Looking after my heart rate.

        1. Still occasionally a little disturbance in the stomach – the sensation was never in the chest – but on the whole, the meds seem to be working. Last time I checked, my pulse rate was in the 90-110 range, which is a huge improvement on 85-165. Furosemide is a challenge. I won’t elaborate on that. My nephew in York has been put on all the same meds and more.

          1. :-). I shouldn't laugh, but I have observed the effects of Frusemide.

            Many, many, many times …….
            © Dame Celia Molestrangler

      1. One might have hoped that the poof readers (if there are any, of course) would have found and improved that to, for example, "In his Christmas sermon, the AB of Y, who will…"

    3. Change to drive out the woke and reclaim the Church of England? Change to come back to God and leave the religions of progressivism, LBGT and climate change behind? Change to close the open borders and deport criminals? Change to ban islamic face coverings? Change to reject the Bank of England's addiction to mouse click money? Change to kick out the Davis yes-men in Wastemonster?

      I could go on. But I very much doubt that the Archbishop of York is on the same page.

      1. Stephen Ebor invited himself to Barts to preach for Evensong in the City, which happens on the first Thursday of each month and attracts a lot of young people and a large scratch choir. He called it, “A fresh expression of church” which amused Marcus because it’s a 1662 service with King James readings and traditional music. The free supper and wine is sponsored by the Prayer Book Society.

        1. I've long insisted that the BCP and KJV are an attraction, much more so than the Janet and John versions.

      2. What was that writen about false idols? Meaning both physical images as well as ideas…

      3. More like "change" to remove references to God the Father (patriarchal) and eliminate "man" from all prayers and hymns.

  40. Tried two words suitable for this time of year – second one correct.
    Wordle 1,285 2/6
    🟨🟨🟩🟩⬜
    🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
    Happy Christmas to you all.

    1. Used my normal starter word but yes, point taken.

      Wordle 1,285 3/6

      🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜
      ⬜🟨🟩🟨⬜
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

  41. Tried two words suitable for this time of year – second one correct.
    Wordle 1,285 2/6
    🟨🟨🟩🟩⬜
    🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
    Happy Christmas to you all.

  44. Merry Christmas, Nottlers. A quiet start for me before I swing by and pickup my folks and we go to my niece's for Christmas dinner. My sister and her better half will also be there. My great nephew and niece are 7 and 5 respectively, so there will be toys to observe. 🥳

  45. OOPS!

    Knifeman shot dead by police on Christmas Eve after five hour standoff
    Officers called to address in Worcestershire after ‘significant concerns raised’ over man’s safety

      1. I've never really celebrated NYE. I suppose I don't think there's much to look forward to and definitely not, this year.

  46. I hear that Cur Ikea made a "Christmas Message"…. Call me forgetful, but I do not recall such a thing being done by Sir Winston or, even,
    Mr C Lemen Tattlee.

    Why has such self aggrandisement come about?

  47. There's a video on X, I shan't bother linking it, which purports to show Sniffer Joe and the First Lady of Dunhelm in a splendidly decorated White House.

    One of the comments below was illuminating; just as Sniffer Joe claims his son was killed in active duty in Iraq (he died of cancer in the US long after his tour of duty), it appears his former wife and another child didn't die when, as Joe claims, she was involved in a car crash with a 'drunk driver'.

    The driver error was that of his former wife. The sober driver she crashed into was accused of drink driving, and under the pressure of false condemnation took his own life six months later.

    Sniffer Joe, the epitome of Bah Humbug! (with apologies to our learned humbug and others. 😉)

  48. Ultimately the decision on whether Justin Welby should be disciplined on safeguarding issues lies with the new Archbishop of York, Stephen Cottrell, who has himself been recently investigated by a core group within the Church; and the judgement on whether Archbishop Cottrell should be disciplined for his safeguarding failures rests with Justin Welby.

    Understanding why child abuse is so prevalent in the Church volumn 1 of 500.

  49. The MR and I watched Mackenzie Crook's short talk on BBC2 (Monday) about the creation of "The Detectorists". I bored you all the other evening about how, in the plays, he was the image of my late son James. Well, ten years on (and eight after Jim died) Mr Crook remains true to that image. He was Jim aged 55 – shabby clothes, scratty beard, care-worn face and lugubrious voice!

    The talk itself was fascinating – "The Detectorists" will be up there forever with Dad's Army and Porridge. But to see Jim again was….moving.

    Sorry to sound pathetic.

    2. It is not pathetic in any way – it is that aide memoire that means everything. Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year.

    3. Not at all.
      I tear up when I see pictures of the boys in their 70's gear and compare them with the middle aged men they have become.

  50. Labour will tackle ‘scourge of femicide’ to hit manifesto target, says minister. 25 December 2024.

    Tackling the “scourge of femicide” in the UK will be a central part of the government’s promise to drastically reduce violence against women and girls, the minister leading the policy has said.

    Revealing details of one of Labour’s central missions in office for the first time, Jess Phillips said the success of the government’s target to halve violence against women and girls had to include reducing the rate at which women are killed by men.

    Just how is she going to do this? Ration the number of victims available? Arrest every man suspected? The whole idea is stupid. It is a feminist fantasy. It simply cannot be done.

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/dec/25/labour-will-tackle-scourge-of-femicide-to-hit-manifesto-target-says-minister-jess-phillips

    3. Yo Minty,

      So, it will still be OK to hit Masculines

      Where are the inbeteeenies in all this:
      OK to hit women wimmen who say they are men

      But

      Not men who say they are wimmen?

    5. It could be easy.

      Deport all members of certain ethnicities and religions and the absolute numbers would plummet.

    7. That is one of the saddest things I have read in a long time. To even ned to write it is bad enough…

  51. Merry Christmas Nottlrs and a very Happy New Year.

    Been for a four mile walk, family arrived opened presents.
    Grandson loves his little Tikes Dino Car
    Might have a little visit to the drinks cabinet

  52. Yo and Merry Chrimbo, to you all, from a SUNNY C d S.

    It is 8.5 deg C, in the shade, outside, but nice and warm inside.

  53. For those who like an 'action film' over Chrimbo, but want a change from "Die Hard", I would recommend

    "Red One"

    After Santa Claus is kidnapped, the North Pole's Head of Security must team up with a notorious hacker in a globe-trotting, action-packed mission to save Christmas.

    You can watch it on Prime Video, for free, if you have Amazon

  54. The progressives are very confused as to what constitutes sexual perversion and where the line should be drawn. For my parent’s generation there was heterosexual sex within marriage and adult gay men who did as they pleased in the privacy of their own room. Outside marriage in the first instance and in public in the second were both frowned upon and that was that. Prostitution always happens and always has but that doesn’t make it right.

    1. It is perversions involving children that upset people the most. Adults can do what they want in privacy.

      1. Ah yes but this included sadomasochistic homosexual behaviour involving 18 year olds. Coerced or consenting, legal or not? Once the taboos fall, where to draw the line is not straightforward.

        1. 18 is considered adult these days. In my day it was still 21, but I had boyfriends by the time I was 18, including the one I married.

  55. Merry Christmas everyone. We are about to leg it over to Biggleswade for Christmas dinner with our younger son, two grandsons, expectant wife and in-laws….. I have simply the white sweet vanilla sauce (full-fart, bovaer free) to make for the home-made Christmas pudding (thank you, Delia, Queen of Christmas). Enjoy your day, see you later. And not forgetting Tom/Sir J in hospital – get well soonest and be back in the playground with us, throwing those words around together.

    1. Exactly how I feel. Don't let it out, but on the other hand……!

      Happy Christmas, Citroen.

    2. If Labour continue as they are, things will get far worse. That'll lead to a momumental collapse and, likely IMF intervention. Should that happen we really are in trouble as they'll advocate more tax rises (because the IMF is headed by a bunch of socialists). The best outcome is a vote of no confidence and the massive loss of Labour seats as they're attacked individually.

      Labour are then deposed, an election called and Reform or a truly revamped Conservative (small and big C) elected – the country then recovers under a tax cutting, legislation cutting, state shredding, blending and straining government.

      2. But where are Margaret Thatcher, Norman Tebbit, Geoffrey Howe… the ghosts of Christmas past?

        2. Denis Healey: "Being criticised by Sir Geoffrey (Howe) is roughly the equivalent of being savaged by a dead sheep!"

        3. Denis Healey: "Being criticised by Sir Geoffrey (Howe) is roughly the equivalent of being savaged by a dead sheep!"

  57. The MR is off to Holy Communion (advertised as a "family service" with leaflets and Janet and John). I shall remain here with G & P (both sleeping the sleep).

    Then we are off to the north Norfolk coast with a flask of trombetti soup and ham rolls to take in the ozone being blown in from the off-shore windfarms.

    Later, we shall have dinner with an ox-cheek casserole and, to drink, my last bottle of 1983 Chateau Pichon-Longueville au Baron de Pichon-Longueville. Cost me £12 in 1987. I have six bottles of vintage claret left – another will be opened on New Year's Day.

    2. Oxcheek casserole is one our favourites. Proper winter food.
      Just hope it doesn't become too popular and the price goes up.

    3. We had a "family service" this morning, but there were no children (thankfully). 52 in the congregation (that's well over a hundred with the two services combined).

  59. Good Moaning.
    Still dossing around in the Dower House.
    Spartie is the most active member of the household; he is busily hiding a lamb shank bone in his bed.

    1. How things should be.

      Mongo's had a bark at Oscar who ate his breakfast and not his own. Cue Mongo and Oscar both getting more food. Lucy also had a ladle more and wolfed it down. She is gaining weight nicely.

      Mongo, however, looks a total berk as Junior has put a paper hat on his head. Lucy has tinsel around her neck. Oscar is … grumpy.

          1. Lick it to death. But leave it along enough and he does actually give it a good gnawing as well.

      1. Hello, Grizz…wishing you a lovely Christmas, hoping you get more than white turds in your Santa stocking 🙂 lol, Kate x

  60. Just as real conservatives should leave the Conservative Party should real Christians leave the Church of England?

    2. Where to go? The Church of Rome has also fallen and Greek and Russian Orthodoxy present theological problems for orthodox members of the western church. We don’t wish to fight over that but it’s also difficult to embrace.

    3. Firstborn's Godfather is a vicar in the C of E, and reckons he's the last Vicar in the C of E who still believes in God.

    1. What a waste! In a selfless gesture of heroic public service, I will drive up to Fulmodeston to collect the remaining six bottles before you squander them.

  64. 399307+ up ticks,

    Dt,

    Austria possesses something Britain doesn’t:: the courage of its traditions
    Unlike our blind capitulation to minorities, Austria is a country with honesty, culture and, above all, pride in its heritage

    The only pride we retain is encapsulated in the daily loaf and the ingredients of that are highly suspect thanks to the criminal actions of our current political governing kapos.

    Generation pon generation of courage, blood, sweat & tears kicked into touch through thoughtless, treacherous use these past forty years of the polling stations.

  66. Ah well. The merriment couldn't last. The mother in law has waddled up the drive and is drunk. Considering she can down a bottle of gin a day and no one notice she's clearly gone for it.

    The Warqueen is in the shower so doesn't know, but I'll try to keep them apart to delay hostilities. Last time she visited we only had the one dog and she complained about him, so what she'll make of three is anyone's guess. It was also very cold, which it isn't so much this year so the woman might stay around longer. Swings and roundabouts.

    2. Make her G&T's progressively stronger. Then push her down the stairs.

      Ooh, she must have slipped.

  68. Place your bets..

    A 31-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder after four people were injured, one seriously, by a car which was driven onto a pavement in central London in the early hours of Christmas Day, the Metropolitan Police said.

        1. I know a muslim. Nice chap. Kind hearted, loves his two daughters. Works really hard. Wouldn't know he's a muslim. Put up with endless gibes about getting the bacon sarnies in (and he did), puts up with the mickey taking over Ramadan.

          Nice, kind, decent bloke. Really good at Mario Kart. Took him to hospital when his Crohnes kicked in. Why at one end is there a good man like that and at the other these people?

      2. A good deed is never forgiven.

        De Gaulle never forgave Churchill and the British for liberating France. Strangely enough he was happy for the Americans to do it but not the English!

        Muslins detest weakness – maybe they would hate us less if we stopped pandering to them.

      3. The koran instructs them to behead the kuffar, enslave their women and extract jizya from dhimmis to pay for living in a muslim country. Look at the situation here in our once Christian country and draw your own conclusions.

    3. Marvellous. As usual ‘not terrorism’.

      OK, if they insist it’s not terrorism, what is it? Mental issues, mother didn’t love him, wasn’t fed enough, felt upset? ‘Bust up at the night club, he went away, got into his car and came back to drive his car into people?’

      How much longer are TPTB going to try pulling the wool over eyes. They’re just determined to indulge these terrorists no matter the effect on us plebs.

  71. I've had one or two Muslim girlfriends. Once out of the shackles of the Elders, father & brothers they rapidly became Westernised. I think there's your answer.

  72. That's the food prep done, finally. Now relaxing with a Fullers ESB – and you fine folk at NoTTL, of course!

    2. Interesting, the wooden cross and some flowers. Hope the guys got a few moments rest and peace before it all started up again.

      1. I believe there was nobody so Christian as an infantryman, alone in a shellhole, under fire.

  75. No apologies for posting this again. Neil Oliver produced this at Christmas three years ago, when life was returning to something approaching normal…or so we thought. He speaks of hope but that hope has been extinguished.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35XtHDcrwA4
    "Christmas is about light in the darkness…on Christmas Day, I have no wish to look backwards into the dark. The longest night is behind us now…light and warmth must return."

    If only he had known what was lying ahead…

  76. No apologies for posting this again. Neil Oliver produced this at Christmas three years ago, when life was returning to something approaching normal…or so we thought. He speaks of hope but that hope has been extinguished.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35XtHDcrwA4
    "Christmas is about light in the darkness…on Christmas Day, I have no wish to look backwards into the dark. The longest night is behind us now…light and warmth must return."

    If only he had known what was lying ahead…

    1. Merry Christmas to you GQ and to everyone else.
      Have a lovely day and happy new year, love from T .

  80. Happy Christmas to everyone from a grumpy flu laden expat.

    Sod the idea of wearing a mask, .I will do what we have always done by staying home and trying to keep warm.

    Still no sign of Trudeau resigning and he is buggering over to BC for a skiing holiday tomorrow. That will cost us for his flights and security.

    1. Exactly, they don't work, they never did, and now they clutter up the seas. Poilievre's goin' to 'ave 'im…what do you reckon, richardl?

      1. Trudeau is a very unethical beast so nothing is guaranteed even though the latest polls give the conservatives a greater than 99% chance of winning a majority with the liberals in third place ( 338canada.com ). Even in his own seat, things are not guaranteed.

        Many of us are expecting Trudeau to try and stick it out, prorogue parliament and start a devastating negative campaign against Poilievre and campaign on promises of goodies. The media will no doubt support him.

        1. Thanks, although depressing to read. I suspect it may well pan out that way, the Dynasty and all that. I’d be voting for Poilievre, if I had a vote – although he looks slightly tired now, I follow his campaign trail videos, seems very popular with working people. I have an old familial interest in Canada – one of my great aunts was badly treated by her husband, a well respected local businessman, sometime after WW2. Last sighting with two young children at the bus stop. Many years later, from Canada, she re-established contact with my mother, her niece. I believe she re-married, but never had more children. Hence my keeping half an eye (and ear) out:-)

  81. Thank you Geoff for this lovely forum. And thank you all, dear NoTTLers for making NoTTL the very special place that it is.

    Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

    xxx

  83. Hello, Geoff…wishing you a Happy Christmas, hoping you are well, and in church today. Been watching Ben Maton, reminds me of you – good old boy. On we go, undaunted, to '25. KBO. Lots of love and blessings, Kate xxx

  84. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/660d5e28ebc4c98627d448751ad834d9e59999453d7a262b7ee1cad65aa1a1b5.png https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4aefaaa13144d79f279ee9b062a6a37e3de7b17af0d51cb25c7f7079d92cab59.png It's a miserable but mild, misty day here with a light drizzle out there. Certainly not conducive to good photography.

    I was cheered up, then, somewhat by the return to the feeders this morning of one of my favourite birds, the Marsh Tit Poecile palustris, which is an infrequent garden visitor here.

    Willow Tit P. montanus is a confusion species, usually only separated by call or by close examination in the hand. I have ringed a fair good number of Willow Tits in Sherwood Forest, 30 years' back, as they were the commoner of the two there. Here, though, Marsh Tit dominates and the declining Willow Tit seems an endangered species everywhere.

    1. They're (not sure if Willow or Marsh) regular visitors here. Also just had a rare (for me) cock blackcap on the feeder, which reminds me of them.

      1. I usually get the odd blackcap, mainly at times of passage, but for some reason the garden has been devoid of of a lot of birdlife this past autumn migration season.

      1. Indeed, Mr Effort; however, that 2" mesh allows them to fly in and out as if it weren't there. But it does keep out the rooks and magpies to stop them stealing all the food.

  85. Bear Grylls under fire for branding Mary a ‘Palestinian refugee’ in Christmas message
    The British adventurer delivered a reading with several critics hitting out at Grylls including the group The Campaign Against Antisemitism
     https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/12/25/bear-grylls-under-fire-for-branding-mary-palestinian/

    At least at the time of Jesus's birth Palestinians were not Muslims as Mahomed didn't come along until nearly 6 centuries later.

  86. The coast was delightful, tide coming in – lots of people about. Delicious trombetti soup and ham rolls. A walk to take in the sea air. Now home and – can't wait (sarc) to see the JWK. (The MR is a fan…)

  87. The coast was delightful, tide coming in – lots of people about. Delicious trombetti soup and ham rolls. A walk to take in the sea air. Now home and – can't wait (sarc) to see the JWK. (The MR is a fan…)

  88. "Armed officers shot dead a “knife-wielding” man in Worcestershire on Christmas Eve after a stand-off that lasted several hours, police said.

    West Mercia police said they were called to an address in Fownhope Close, Redditch, after paramedics raised “significant concerns” for a 39-year-old man’s safety at 2pm on Tuesday.

    The man, who was alone in the property, was said to have been armed with a knife. "

    So concerned for his "safety" that they shot him dead. Best thing, eh? Safety is such a difficult concept.

  89. Yo again,

    Chrimbo dinner eaten, just one complaint, the f..king sprouts were undercooked: they had only been idling away in the pressure cooker since 29 February 2000.

    How did King Chuck do….. on his 1500 hour broadcast?

        1. I may have told you this before but I had the privilege of meeting God in all his glory. I was on the operating table having my broken back operated on and they probably overdosed me with aesthetic, The previous 'operation' I had been conscious until they removed me from the operating table and placed me naked on a very cold floor. This time a had a superb vision of Christ in all his glory, surrounded by a beautiful white light. He offered me a place in heaven. I was in awe. I glanced over my right shoulder and saw my mother about 40 or 50 yards back. I said" What shall I do, mother" and she replied " It is up to you son, you are old enough to make up your own mind". I turned to God and said "No thank you". I hadn't the heart to tell him I was agnostic. I can't remember what happened after that, I think he said "There will be a place for you", but I might have made that up.

          4. I recall many years ago declaiming that I was no longer a Christian, faith was so much bollocks and all about power and control, and then a voice in my head asked me "Is that really how you feel?"
            I was absolutely astounded… and re-evaluated over some years.
            The result is that I do believe, but as the Christian faith tells us, God is our Father, and like all good Fathers, he gives you the opportunity to think for yourself, and make your own decisions. For which you have to stand up and be counted. And, if you're wrong, He will be very disappointed in you.
            So, as a father, that's how I try to live my life. I try to support others in what they do, as long as it's positive; I support those on the receiving end of shite; I try to guide folk in the way of gentleness and peace and thinking for yourself, just as I have my two lads. It seemed to work.
            Sorry for being pompous.

          5. Eden Rock by Charles Causley

            They are waiting for me somewhere beyond Eden Rock:
            My father, twenty-five, in the same suit
            Of Genuine Irish Tweed, his terrier Jack
            Still two years old and trembling at his feet.

            My mother, twenty-three, in a sprigged dress
            Drawn at the waist, ribbon in her straw hat,
            Has spread the stiff white cloth over the grass.
            Her hair, the colour of wheat, takes on the light.

            She pours tea from a Thermos, the milk straight
            From an old H.P. sauce-bottle, a screw
            Of paper for a cork; slowly sets out
            The same three plates, the tin cups painted blue.

            The sky whitens as if lit by three suns.
            My mother shades her eyes and looks my way
            Over the drifted stream. My father spins
            A stone along the water. Leisurely,

            They beckon to me from the other bank.
            I hear them call, ‘See where the stream-path is!
            Crossing is not as hard as you might think.’
            I had not thought that it would be like this.

    5. I enjoyed his speech. He included the royal gooduns, Anne, .William, Dof E, D of G etc. No Andrew or Mr Markle

  91. It was probably a whitey wielding a long wooden spoon – but you can't be to careful when lives are at risk.

  93. It has been Sunny in C d S (Costa del Skeg.)

    At 1pm, the solar panel batteries were 100% charged and the oven was on at 200 deg C

    Just like summer really

    1. I found a Youtube video on how to recover an AA battery using salt water.
      A reply on that channel said they had driven their flat EV into the North Sea and had then travelled 500 mlles – by train that was.

  96. Shoppers say their Christmas turkeys are rotten or rancid as they hit out at Sainsbury's, Tesco and Lidl for 'ruining' the big day.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14225753/shoppers-christmas-turkeys-rotten-sainsburys-tesco-lidl.html

    Happens every year. Like clockwork.

    It's not the supermarkets fault. People cram their fridges to bursting. And the temperature can't get low enough.

    An easy way around it is to buy a frozen turkey. Have it delivered on the 22nd. Put it in a bucket of brine. It brines as it defrosts. Simples.

    Also B&M are now selling mini Easter Eggs.

    1. Passed your comments on to Him Who Must Be Obeyed, Phiz. Says excellent suggestion re Turkey. As for B&M, a grunt and 'last year's'.

          1. Just don't. You can add a dusting of cocoa to beef but not poultry.

            Be warned. We make allowances for Uncle Bill because he is doolally.

    2. We had a leg of lamb – would have had a shoulder but leg was all Morrisons were offering this year. Still it was good, and much nicer than turkey.

      1. I did the main event on the 22nd with guests. I'm not really a Christmassy person. I don't like large groups of people who i neither know or like. Then there's the children…

          1. Hello Julien , Happy Christmas , I am glad your day went well .
            Husband and Jerry, dog and invader cat , just us .. no2 son and partner were on the IOW , they had their plans .

            We had a plan .. son went off to run the Weymouth park run this morning Christmas special , more than 600 turned up apparently .

            We took Pip out on the heath nr Arne for a good walk ..lots of muddy puddles , yuk , and R marched on ahead with a golf club practising his shots , I lingered , because there was a huge herd of horses , no not ponies , horses , wildish ones , grazing .. Nope , so I found another route , avoiding getting too close to the animals , and Moh was out of sight ..

            He eventually appeared , thank goodness, I didn't want to have to search for him . The dog had stuck close by to me with a long log in his mouth .. and he cleared off to bury it .. in the muddy soggy track the horses had made .

            Pip was muddy up to his tummy , so I found a deep heathland puddle and sent him off into it , pretending to throw a ball .. he came out nice and clean !

            We aimed to eat at 4pm .. tested the oven first thing this morning … top and main oven worked .. hand on my heart , last Christmas was the last time I had used them .. Ovens worked !!

            Turkey was a fresh free range hen … delicious .. sumptious .. and so pleased I ordered one again. this year , so we have enough turkey meat until nearly the new year , carcase for soup etc later.

            I had tidied and cleared my fridge of junk , soggy cucumbers, mouldy cheese etc , earlier in the week . So have space now for leftovers .

            Contact with overseas family and Northern family and friends .. R had a couple of beers , otherwise the house was dry , cups of Earl Grey sustained me .

            We were well satisfied , although I could do with a walk now, so misty and damp , but the sun shone for an hour this morning and it was a mild 13c

          2. I haven't been outside but it was mild and no sun. Had a nice early evening last night with our next door neighbours and then came home for dinner here – fish pie.
            First time of cooking Christmas dinner in the new cooker ( well we've had it six months now), all ok and juggled about with the two ovens. I haven't got an air fryer so I've been gradually getting used to the new cooker.

          3. Two ovens. Takes me back to my lovely dual fuel range back at Allan Towers.
            MB has promised me a gas hob in the new year (if current gas supply is not too complicated).

          4. No gas here – oil fired boiler and electric oven. Wood burning stove but not cold enough to light it tonight. We’ve lived here almost 30 years so we’ve come to terms with having no gas.

          6. Kadi finished off the remains of the turkey fillet, plus the bits of bacon. I told him he isn't getting this every day (although he probably will get turkey for some time!). He had a bone, some turkey meat dog food, rabbits ears and salmon sticks for Christmas. Not all were presents from me, either!

          7. I had a lovely walk with Spartie. He met his whippet chum. They were scorching round the field and ( no bias here) Spartie kept up well considering he's not bred for such speeds.

        2. "Then there's the children…"
          One of the blessings of getting old is grandchildren who are no longer children.
          Nowadays, I actually enjoy their company.

  97. Just looking at the TV Guide Page.

    The programme on ITV3 from 3.10 to 5.00 pm Carry on Matron should have been made compulsory viewing for the guvermunt and NHS bigwigs

    1. Eagle after my usual starter word does the business.

      Wordle 1,285 2/6

      🟨🟨⬜🟨🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    2. I must admit, I saw an earlier post which suggested an element of topicality in today's word. After a good starter (my usual) I guessed the only thing I could think that had a (tangential) reference to Christmas.
      Almost embarrassingly, I landed an eagle….. that's two in a row! To be fair more like a 2 and a half!

      Wordle 1,285 2/6

      ⬜🟨🟨🟨🟨
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    3. I must admit, I saw an earlier post which suggested an element of topicality in today's word. After a good starter (my usual) I guessed the only thing I could think that had a (tangential) reference to Christmas.
      Almost embarrassingly, I landed an eagle….. that's two in a row! To be fair more like a 2 and a half!

      Wordle 1,285 2/6

      ⬜🟨🟨🟨🟨
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    5. Lucky guess on the third effort. Birdie

      Wordle 1,285 3/6

      🟩⬜⬜🟩🟩
      ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

      1. About HM Markle, noticed his demeanour recently? Others think there’s something afoot. I couldn’t possible comment. Recollections may vary.

  100. Great thing is if there are any bugs in the cavity (there usually are some) the brine sorts them out.

    1. As my grandmother would say ‘bit of extra meat always welcome, dear’….I find it hard to complain about my life, when I think of hers and how she managed things with good humour. (Thanks for tip, btw.)

      1. For years people were advised to wash the interior. All that meant was every surface ended up covered in bugs. All over the draining board, surfaces and light switches.
        Wear disposable gloves and watch for splashes. Again. You also probably already know that.

        1. I did say boiling water! I park the chicken in the small bit of the sink between draining board and main sink and the water is boiling! Always done it that way and we’ve never gone down with bugs.

  102. Just finished dinner. Made for the first time by niece and her bf.
    All v tasty but stone cold. They've got their flavours sussed, now need to work on their timing.

    1. Warm plates are essential. Then micro the gravy until it's like lava.

      Kind of them to go to the effort though.

  103. Dear God.
    Strictly is on, Emma Bunton giving some unimpressive break from a cock-in-a-frock, but what utter, utter shite.
    I'd rather watch a dog crap on the pavement – but the in-laws like it, so, being the nicely brought up person I am, I refrain from comment.

      1. I agree. Not obligatory, however. Fucking telly's been blaring since 09:00 or so today, despite my attempts to turn it off, and showing Merkin shite.
        YouTube has lots of lovely Christmas music but no, it's a cock-in-a-frock that we have to hear and see. Grr!

        2. We have friends who have the telly on from dawn till midnight – and LEAVE IT ON when one calls round for a chat – or even, in one case, to have lunch….

          3. Oh good ! I remember one Christmas sitting in vest and shorts it was so damned hot with the telly blaring and the screen X-raying my eyes. Never again.

            I had lunch with my sister in November and i could see she was about to invite me for Christmas and i said No…before she could finish.

        3. It's worse when their hearing and sight begins to diminish and they compensate by turning the sound and light to max.

    2. Just a quick point here, saying the wife/in-laws/kids are watching Strictly fools no one.

        1. Well so far the telly has stayed off here. Three men are dozing in the chairs, one with a cat on his lap and I'm wide awake and doodling here. I've mentioned that a cup of tea would be good, but nothing so far.

    3. Now it's Doctor Who.
      Utter bollocks, too. What rubbish. Damn glad I don't get your TV back home.

    3. Shit machines.
      When we lived out in th boondocks, those damn things killed the grass every year.

  105. Caroline found this book Sonnets and Verse by Hilaire Belloc and gave it to me for Christmas.

    It is a very strange edition which was taken from Gutenberg and printed by Amazon. The division between lines of verse are not coherent and the page numbers bear no connection with the contents of the page. I imagine that somebody at Amazon just printed from the Internet without editing properly, bound it into a book and then Amazon sold it on line.

    We found this pair of verses which are amusing:

    XII

    Epitaph on the Favourite Dog of a Politician

    Here lies a Dog: may every Dog that dies
    Lie in security—as this Dog lies.

    XIII

    Epitaph on the Politician Himself

    Here richly, with ridiculous display,
    The Politician’s corpse was laid away.
    While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged
    I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.

    Here is the link to the verses which, on the internet version, are correctly laid out.

     https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/60663/pg60663-images.html

  106. Perhaps politics should be off the agenda today but I don't remember this story being reported on here. Charlie's taken away Cadbury's royal warrant because of the company's 'links to Russia'.

    When I first saw the headline I thought it was because their chocolate wasn't proper chocolate anymore…

    Cadbury's loses royal warrant for the first time in 170 years

    Late Queen's favourite chocolate brand dropped from King Charles III's list of palace suppliers

    Hayley Dixon, Special Correspondent
    22 December 2024 6:15pm GMT

    Cadbury's has not been granted a royal warrant for the first time in 170 years.

    The chocolate brand, a favourite of the late Queen, was among 100 companies missing from a list of those granted the globally recognised mark of excellence last week. In accordance with royal protocol, Cadbury's and the other unsuccessful companies were informed of the decision by letter but were not given a reason why.

    In June, Ukrainian campaigners wrote to the King calling on him to revoke the award for Cadbury's as US parent company Mondelez continues to operate under Vladimir Putin's regime.

    A range of different factors are considered when granting a warrant, which is awarded to companies which provide an ongoing supply of goods or services to the Royal household. It is understood that Cadbury's supply has dropped in recent years, particularly since the death of Queen Elizabeth II, who received boxes of her much-loved Bournville every Christmas.

    A Royal Warrant of Appointment, granted for up to five years, allows a company to use the Royal Arms in connection with its business. They are granted by the monarch, and therefore the warrants issued by the late Queen have been reviewed since her death.

    Cadbury's was awarded the title by Queen Victoria in 1854 and held onto the warrant under six monarchs. But its name was absent from the list of almost 400 companies that the King announced would receive warrants in the latest round. He kept 386 titles granted by his mother, including Kellogg's cereal and Moët champagne, the Mail on Sunday reported.

    Earlier this year B4Ukraine wrote to the King calling for companies including Bacardi, Nestlé, Unilever and Cadbury's to have the award revoked. Campaigners claimed the companies were indirectly contributing to the Russian war effort by continuing to maintain operations in the country.

    "We urge the Royal family to stand in solidarity with Ukraine by demonstrating that companies contributing to the suffering and devastation in Ukraine will not be bestowed with the privilege and honour of holding a royal warrant," the campaigners wrote to the Kind ahead of his birthday in June.

    "Such a decisive step would not only demonstrate the solidarity of the Royal family with Ukraine but also convey that the family does not condone the continued presence of these companies in Russia."

    Whilst Cadbury's did not appear on the list, a number of other companies singled out by B4Ukraine did, including Nestle, Bacardi and Samsung. It is understood that advice is sought from the Foreign Office before granting the seal of approval to any company that has been criticised for its links to Russia.

    Consumer goods giant Unilever, which owns brands such as Marmite, is also missing from the warrants list. It cut all ties with Russia earlier this year following pressure from campaigners.

    Not all 100 companies missing from the list have lost their warrants: some may not have applied, have ceased trading, or had a decision about their application deferred.

    A spokesman for Mondelez International said: "Cadbury is a much-loved brand that has been a part of British life for generations and remains the nation's favourite chocolate. Whilst we are disappointed to be one of hundreds of other businesses and brands in the UK to not have a new warrant awarded, we are proud to have previously held one, and we fully respect the decision."

    Buckingham Palace said that it does not comment on decisions relating to specific warrants.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/12/22/cadburys-loses-royal-warrant-170-years-chocolate

    1. When Cadbury's manufactured Cadbury's in Bournville (at the same time that Rowntree's manufactured Rowntree's in York and Fry's manufactured Fry's in Bristol) their products were insanely wholesome and delicious.

      Unfortunately after they were taken over by the puppets of venture capitalists — BlackRock, Vanguard, State Street et al — such as Mondelez and Nestlé (among others), they stopped being delicious and started to taste like the chemical shit they are now made of.

    2. We've withdrawn the Allan Warrant because Cadbury's chocolate is now CRAP!
      Unless you like brown, sweetened palm oil clogging up your teeth.

  107. Evening all! I'm having a sit down now after the Christmas cookathon and the clearing up……. all seemed to go ok. We haven't had any rows or disagreements and nobody got drunk.
    Plenty of music earlier while I was cooking – Christmas Oratorio, two organ recitals and then Bach cantatas.

  108. Did you hear about the vegan who drowned in a bowl of muesli?

    He was pulled under by a strong currant.

    1. My mouth waters when i smell steak..

      I wonder if the same thing happens to vegans
      When they mow the grass.

  109. Signing off now. Highlight of Radio 4 Christmas programmes jus finishing. Something starring Jo Brand, whoever she/them/it is. Bye!

  112. Red Wall MPs tell Starmer to get tough on immigration or we will lose our seats to Reform
    Pressure group urges Prime Minister to be more vocal about border control, as well as tackling anti-social behaviour and GP access
    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2024/12/25/red-wall-starmer-get-tough-immigration-lose-seats-reform/

    As long as the UK remains in the ECHR we shall not be able to cut down on illegal immigration

    The only thing that would encourage Starmer to leave the ECHR would be if, in the case being brought before it by UK private schools' heads, the ECHR decided that The UK government is acting illegally in imposing VAT on school fees.

      1. My father had one. The tax was less on them; and then you could get a kit to add the windows.

        1. Hallo , phew phew phew , halloooo… Anne

          Keir Starmer says

          Labour's priorities are clear: jobs and the economy must come first; not party interests or ideological fantasies.

  117. Grandson really loves his plastic Little Tikes Dino Car we bought him for Christmas
    He's a natural behind the wheel.
    Only 16 months old and already kicking the tyres when he unwrapped it.

  119. King John's Christmas

    King John was not a good man —
    He had his little ways.
    And sometimes no one spoke to him
    For days and days and days.
    And men who came across him,
    When walking in the town,
    Gave him a supercilious stare,
    Or passed with noses in the air —
    And bad King John stood dumbly there,
    Blushing beneath his crown.

    King John was not a good man,
    And no good friends had he.
    He stayed in every afternoon…
    But no one came to tea.
    And, round about December,
    The cards upon his shelf
    Which wished him lots of Christmas cheer,
    And fortune in the coming year,
    Were never from his near and dear,
    But only from himself.

    King John was not a good man,
    Yet had his hopes and fears.
    They'd given him no present now
    For years and years and years.
    But every year at Christmas,
    While minstrels stood about,
    Collecting tribute from the young
    For all the songs they might have sung,
    He stole away upstairs and hung
    A hopeful stocking out.

    King John was not a good man,
    He lived his live aloof;
    Alone he thought a message out
    While climbing up the roof.
    He wrote it down and propped it
    Against the chimney stack:
    "TO ALL AND SUNDRY – NEAR AND FAR –
    F. Christmas in particular."
    And signed it not "Johannes R."
    But very humbly, "Jack."

    "I want some crackers,
    And I want some candy;
    I think a box of chocolates
    Would come in handy;
    I don't mind oranges,
    I do like nuts!
    And I SHOULD like a pocket-knife
    That really cuts.
    And, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all,
    Bring me a big, red, india-rubber ball!"

    King John was not a good man —
    He wrote this message out,
    And gat him to this room again,
    Descending by the spout.
    And all that night he lay there,
    A prey to hopes and fears.
    "I think that's him a-coming now!"
    (Anxiety bedewed his brow.)
    "He'll bring one present, anyhow —
    The first I had for years."

    "Forget about the crackers,
    And forget the candy;
    I'm sure a box of chocolates
    Would never come in handy;
    I don't like oranges,
    I don't want nuts,
    And I HAVE got a pocket-knife
    That almost cuts.
    But, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all,
    Bring me a big, red, india-rubber ball!"

    King John was not a good man,
    Next morning when the sun
    Rose up to tell a waiting world
    That Christmas had begun,
    And people seized their stockings,
    And opened them with glee,
    And crackers, toys and games appeared,
    And lips with sticky sweets were smeared,
    King John said grimly: "As I feared,
    Nothing again for me!"

    "I did want crackers,
    And I did want candy;
    I know a box of chocolates
    Would come in handy;
    I do love oranges,
    I did want nuts!
    And, oh! if Father Christmas, had loved me at all,
    He would have brought a big, red,
    india-rubber ball!"

    King John stood by the window,
    And frowned to see below
    The happy bands of boys and girls
    All playing in the snow.
    A while he stood there watching,
    And envying them all …
    When through the window big and red
    There hurtled by his royal head,
    And bounced and fell upon the bed,
    An india-rubber ball!

    AND, OH, FATHER CHRISTMAS,
    MY BLESSINGS ON YOU FALL
    FOR BRINGING HIM
    A BIG, RED,
    INDIA-RUBBER
    BALL!

    A. A. Milne

    1. I've always suspected that King John pissed off the literate i.e. the monks.
      His brother Richard, who only came back to England when he needed to extort money for the Crusades, had a better press because he appeared to be more Christian.

        1. There have been rumours to that effect.
          That is why William Rufus was so denigrated.
          However, Goldenballs got away with it by smiting Saracens (and avoiding all that dreary running a country schtick).

  120. How come years ago, back in the day, if anyone can explain, that I could eat and drink far more on Christmas Day, I might even be thinking about a turkey and pork sandwich with pickle and pickled onions at this time of the evening, but yet I was about two stone lighter?

    3. Back in the old days, as I have often pointed out, food was wholesome; animals were properly fed and food was cooked in lard and butter. This kept everyone fit, lean and healthy.

      These days, animals are fed on crap and food is cooked in seed oils. This keeps everyone unfit, fat and diseased.

      Your grandparents' generation were slim and wiry, like whippets. Their grandsons and granddaughters are grossly obese and unfit.

    5. Geoff, that is now two NoTTLers posts that you have downvoted (Bob3 and BoB). Is this a mistake? Have you been at the cooking sherry today?

  122. Merry Christmas everybody! I managed to cook Christmas lunch with all the trimmings and now am slumped like a python digesting a goat. Isn't sloth one of the deadly sins? Had a very Christian message from Nick Tenconi the interim leader of UKIP. Quite a surprise in this day and age, but heartening, nonetheless. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman watcheth but in vain.

    Volunteers may be the backbone of Britain, but you'd never think so from the way the PTB make life difficult for them.

  123. A lovely lunch at home with our old friends from Bucks.
    Four games of rummikub not my favourite.
    Just off on their way back home now.
    Tomorrow the family decend 😅🤣😂
    Good night all have a good boxing day 🥳🥊🥊

    1. Chums have gone down with lurgy.
      While I feel sorry for the afflicted, we can now doss for another day as they cannot cope with company.

  124. Christmas dinner duly consumed, washing up done, followed by a walk round the village.
    Was so sweaty when we got back I went for a bath and fell asleep in it!!

    3. Me too. The credits at the end gave the game away. They went on forever. It would have worked a lot better a third of the length and a tenth of the budget. There was far too much padding, the script needed tightening up, and the action movie orchestration was horrible. It's gone all Doctor Who action movie and formulaic. The gushing buddiness between Wallace and Gromit at the end was nauseating, as was the silliness of the rescue that was not even plausible or witty. They should stick to cheese.

      They also fell victim to gratuitous inclusivity targets, as set by Management. I was discomforted for personal reasons by an old Elgarian buffer being retired off in favour of a female Indian, who might well turn out a trans lesbian in the next outing.

      There were some little gems in there, but they were all swamped alas. Blink and you'd miss that cameo from 'Shaun the Sheep'.

      The sinister smiling gnomes were great when they started, but it all got over-milked, and the reset device was just lazy scripting, or perhaps he ran out of ideas.

      Their tidying of a beautiful flower garden into something neat and tidy, which got the approval of the neighbours is something that definitely hit home with me with an argument I had over my mother's garden in Malvern. They neighbours (who formed themselves into a "Garden Subcommittee" insisted I get in a contractor to make it neat and tidy, but I like it a bit wild for the birds. Next door has gravel and clipped hedges, and that's it. No flowers. No birds.

      1. Oh, dear, not a good Wallace and Gromit, then. I hope that, despite this, you enjoyed your Christmas.

  129. I spent most of the day cooking that blasted turkey and eating just a small bit of it. The rest of it is in the fridge, along with the gravy, the spare veg, the spuds, most of the Christmas pud and the custard.

    Before I dismember the turkey, I need to get a bit further along with it. One the hazards to aspiring to a family Christmas whilst living on my own.

    Next year, it's bread and water, and I'll be better for it.

    1. Ah that’s brilliantly Scrooge-like! You won’t, you know! Hope you had a lovely day! 🎄

    2. I bought turkey breast fillets. I cooked them all, ate one, shared it with Kadi and put the others in a casserole with the gravy and will add some veg later. Only had a single portion Christmas pud, but I did eat all the brandy sauce. No wonder I am slothful!

    3. Turkey may be traditional, but it's not compulsory. Also playing Johnny-no-mates this Christmas, and while II bought a turkey crown, I left it in the freezer. Ultimately I bought a couple of Roast Chicken Dinners from Morrisons (via Amazon). Plus lots of prepared veg. That's 4 meals, each ready in 45 minutes with minimum hassle. I don't tend to include potatoes – too 'carby' for a diabetic. Same applies – even more so – to Christmas puddimg.

      Worked for me, anyhow.

  130. Hope you have had a Merry Christmas as we have. A wonderful Christmas Dinner at our Daughters and son in law.

  131. We now have a houseful, 7 in all, with the arrival of Dr.Daughter I her boyfriend.
    I think they will be heading off for the Matlock Bath Raft Race tomorrow morning.

    I'm off to bed now and hope everyone had a merry Christmas.
    Good night all.

    1. Everyone else here went to bed some time ago. I'm off shortly. Just read the piece in the DT about the green & rancid turkeys…….. glad we opted for lamb here. It's several years since we last had turkey.

  137. Goodnight, everyone. Christmas is over for another year, but let's hope the message stays and resonates.

Comments are closed.