Saturday 7 March: Who is going to bring food shopping to the doorsteps of aged widows and widowers?

An unofficial place to discuss the Telegraph letters, established when the DT website turned off its comments facility (now reinstated, but not as good as ours),
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Today’s letters (visible only to DT subscribers) are here:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2020/03/07/letterswho-going-bring-food-shopping-doorsteps-aged-widows-widowers/

629 thoughts on “Saturday 7 March: Who is going to bring food shopping to the doorsteps of aged widows and widowers?

  1. Good Morning Folks,

    Nice red sky sunrise earlier.
    The dawn chorus has become more noticeable this week, spring must be on it’s way

  2. Trump says Taliban could ‘possibly’ take control of Afghanistan when US forces leave. 6 March 2020 • 7:50

    Donald Trump acknowledged the Taliban could “possibly” seize control of Afghanistan after the US leaves the country as part of a peace deal signed last week.

    Well I stopped gambling thirty years ago when I realised I had neither skill nor luck but I would put good money on this happening.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/03/06/trump-says-taliban-could-possibly-take-control-afghanistan-us/

  3. Morning all

    SIR – Thousands of people are going into self-quarantine, staying at home and avoiding contact with others for 14 days. Two difficulties need to be addressed.

    The first is that NHS 111 does not inform the community (GP or council services), so there is no local record of who is self-quarantining. The second is the support for such people for those 14 days, particularly with food. This is not the responsibility of already overburdened GPs, but whose is it?

    In many cases neighbours and relations will help by delivering to the doorstep. But what of those with no such help, such as elderly widows and widowers?

    David Miller

    Newton Abbot, Devon

    SIR – I urge people to bear in mind the effect that the coronavirus scare is having on the tourism industry.

    For our self-catering cottage we have received cancellations from British guests who have decided not to travel. This is not my main source of income, but I am concerned about the knock-on effects.

    Today, I have laid off our gardener, my cleaner (a single mum and self employed) and the decorator.

    Louise Broughton

    Bowness-on-Windermere, Lancashire

    1. SIR – The Government needs to give families who are self-isolating a financial boost by instructing mortgage companies, councils and other financial institutions to give them a break in repaying loans and other such payments.

      Many families will suffer hardship if they have to stay away from work for two weeks or more. Many will, out of necessity, attend their work place when they should be staying at home.

      That must be foreseen and avoided.

      Paul Caruana

      Truro, Cornwall

      SIR – This week was the second anniversary of the chemical weapons attack in Salisbury, which demonstrated the brilliance of our emergency services, NHS and military. There was enough agent to kill thousands of people, but having large numbers of service men and women available, equipped and confident at working in a contaminated environment, prevented large loss of life.

      If the current coronavirus outbreak deepens, key lessons learnt from Salisbury about decontamination, tracking people, the passage of information and the use of the military, will probably mitigate the worst effects of this pathogen.

      During the Salisbury attack, government information was poor initially, but during this virus outbreak it has been exceptional, simple, to the point and without drama.

      Once again, how fortunate we are in the United Kingdom to have the finest military on the globe, always ready to protect the country from every adversary, human, chemical or biological.

      Col Hamish de Bretton-Gordon (retd)

      Tisbury, Wiltshire

      SIR – Hilary Mantel’s The Mirror and the Light has just arrived. As it’s 912 pages, a recommendation to self- isolate could not be more welcome.

      Fiona Horton

      Northallerton, North Yorkshire

      1. Somewhat over the top. . It is only two weeks and most people will be able to claim some sick pay

      2. Col Hamish de Bretton-Gordon. This is the rodent who taught the jihadists how to make the chemical weapons for their False Flag attacks in Syria and very probably had a hand in faking the Skripal business!

        1. So former officers of the British Army are “rodents” . You have lost it big time.

          1. Still an appalling attack on someone who has served his country from this site’s pro Putin troll.

          2. Don’t start talking about trolls. You’re sounding just like the Democrats and their fake “Russia stole my election.”
            And Minty has been on this site a lot longer than you.

          3. Bizarre response. It’s Minty who is making the stupid claims i.e. acting like the Dems.

      3. Yes, Mantel’s thoroughly woke and BBC approved book will make a good door stop to prevent infected visitors getting into your house.

    2. If David Miller’s letter is accurate, I find it extraordinary that not even the GPs of those who self-quarantine will be informed, never mind those who test positive. My GP surgery is currently engaged in compiling a detailed risk assessment to cover the possibility that an infected patient will get into the building, despite very clear signs not to enter but to call 111 for advice and assistance if certain symptoms are in progress. In the worst case – that of an infected patient getting as far as a doctor’s room – the practice will close for a minimum of 72 hours, the whole place will have to undergo very thorough cleaning, the doctor involved will have to go into isolation for 14 days and those who were in the waiting room will need to be contacted and advised accordingly.

      ‘Morning, Epi (manners).

    1. Then there was the guy who used one of these wondrous showers but was puzzled by a button labelled ATR with a female figure beside it. After he had showered, been blown dry and had talcum powder sprayed to his arm-pits and naughty bits, he couldn’t contain himself any longer and pressed the ATR button.

      When he woke up in hospital, and said all he remembered was pressing THAT button; “what happened?” he asked.

      The nurse replied, That sir, was the Automatic Tampon Remover, your testicles are in a jar on your locker.

  4. SIR – That urban traffic is slow all day (report, March 6) will come as no surprise to Norwich residents.

    Every “improvement” scheme perpetrated by Transport for Norwich has the effect of reducing the speed of, and capacity for, traffic.

    The objective is to force us out of our cars, a consequence of which is to hasten the decline of footfall in the city centre.

    G P Brown

    Norwich

    1. I must read more carefully – I thought he wrote “football” – in which case, bring it on! I do see what GP Brown means though – we used to live near Worcester which had occasional traffic problems, usually on race day. “Someone” decided that “something” should be done to improve traffic flow, and “they” did a study and implemented it. Result – more traffic jams, so there was another study, and more implementation – result this time, traffic chaos! Golden handshakes all round.

      1. In Colchester, a bus lane of about 12 feet length was placed on a junction so cars couldn’t use a logical route to get to the other side of town.
        Car drivers went half-way down the nearby hill and did a U-turn to go down the road in the direction they wanted.
        Now that has been banned, so drivers either whizz round nearby residential roads or just go to a small roundabout at the bottom of the same hill.
        And all because the ECC and CBC are too stiff-necked to admit they made a mistake.

    2. I was at UEA in Norwich in the 1960’s.

      One of my sons graduated form UEA 2½ years ago.

      I was completely lost when we went to see our son, There is no place as bewildering as a place which you once knew well which has been completely changed.

      I suspect I would feel the same if I returned to live in England after 30 years. Change and decay are everywhere.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTr7vejHVhs

  5. Morning again

    SIR – Lord Carey’s letter (March 6) on assisted dying is compassionate and well-reasoned, but I still worry.

    It is repeatedly argued that elderly people would never feel obliged to take this option to avoid being burdens. But in a society where care of those who brought us up is often seen as somebody else’s problem; where senex no longer gives us senates, senators and seniors, just senility; in which old age is seen as a disadvantage in judges and politicians, rather than an indicator of the accumulated wisdom of experience; where the national broadcaster shamelessly chases after a “woke” youth vote and ignores the existence of a vast hinterland of traditional values, customs and lifestyles; and after a referendum in which the opinion that the elderly should not have had a say because they have had their lives became mainstream, I am not so sure.

    Victor Launert

    Matlock Bath, Derbyshire

  6. SIR – Danny Kruger and Jon Cruddas (Comment, March 4) have only to examine this corner of Gloucestershire to find the causes behind the decline in community spirit.

    Here, the drive to build thousands of houses to meet government targets has led to the elimination of village after village, and the urbanisation of swathes of the countryside.

    Streams of commuter traffic clog the narrow country roads, which were never designed to cope with such an influx; towering street lights now blaze into a sky that was once dark at night; local children have to travel miles to school, losing the cohesive friendships that once would have existed between them.

    It is laughable to suggest that the thousands of newcomers, who travel many miles to work every day, will be assimilated.

    When we fight against these developments, we are overruled by remote central government decree. We try desperately to conserve and preserve our villages, ways of life and culture, and are derided, called Nimbys, or ignored.

    C E Purdy

    Kingswood, Gloucestershire

    1. I can certainly vouch for that! The urban sprawl around Stroud, Cirencester, Tetbury – all modern commuter – style “executive” housing – they’re not for people who actually work in the area. Nice houses, and it’s all white flight from elsewhere. Our villages and green belts are being obliterated.
      Along with a few “affordable” houses for local people to rent.

      1. And meanwhile, my chum is trying to buy his first house. Having paid rent for ages he and his partner are looking to buy after careful saving.

        They’re having to go for shared ownership as Hampshire house prices are absurd. He finds somewhere for £90,000. It’s a rabbit hutch, without the room for both of them to pass one another with furniture in a room but it’ll be theirs.

        They go in to sort out the mortgage having set out their costings for the 90K mortgage. His girlfriend comes out white as a sheet and tells us that the rent on the rest is twice the mortgage. He comes out and I suggest pub, where we spend the rest of the day.

        Now, someone tell me why a young couple with a combined income of £2000 are slapped by ‘affordable housing’? Who is buying a place costing £330,000 which has bugger all actual living space, that’s poorly insulated breeze block? Gah, I’m sick of the idiocy of this country. Labour: diversity is not a strength, it’s a pollutant. We need a small, highly skilled poopulation, not a massive unskilled one.

      1. I feel sorry for my best mate his second wife is totally in charge of TV remote.
        And she records her own choices blocking his ability to record what he might like see.

          1. No he’s just a big old softie.
            His first wife ruled with a rod of iron. My family lived next door to his house and family growing up.
            His dad was 6-6 and was a big old softie.
            Compromise is the secret to a good relationship 😆
            My wife and have been married for 45 years this year.

        1. There is one silver lining to the time I was cleaning around the new TV propped up on the table, which promptly fell forwards onto the floor smashing the screen. I had to buy another, exactly the same.

          Two remotes.

    1. Urban
      Of a prson, (spcially a man) courtous and rfined in mannr.

      I think on of my kyboard lttrs is brokn

  7. Morning all, looking out the window it seems a good day to self isolate in the garden before self isolating watching rugby on the box later.

  8. Good morning all!

    We’re back! There seems to be complete panic everywhere about Corona virus – we’ve had 12 days away in the bush with no wifi and no news at all about anything……..

    1. Glad you are back safe and sound .

      Hope you witnessed some good bush life .. did you see flocks of interesting birds .. and the birds who hopefully will arrive here in a few weeks?

      Africa seems to be unaffected by this virus which hates the heat apparently .

      1. We did have some great sightings! Met some nice people, too, and there were swifts. swallows and martins flying around but they were probably not quite the same species as the ones we hope to see here soon.

        I’ve eaten far too much and need to lose some weight now! We’re off to table tennis this morning.

        1. There are certainly several Chinese people working in Africa – ‘taking up the slack’ left when many Europeans were kicked out!

          1. The Chinese have built the new railway which runs run through Nairobi National Park – it’s up on columns and is a complete eyesore – people are angry that the ecosystem has been compromised.

          2. That’s why they used the columns, it’s somewhat like a viaduct, but the openings are not continuous.

          3. Do you have any knowledge of how much further the line/s wold have had to run to bypass the National Park and how much extra would that have cost. I can’t imagine the Chinese were doing it out of charity.

            Presumably, from the point of view of migrations, the lines would have been raised almost wherever they were run.

          4. There were of course conflicting views over the three possible routes. The northern route and the southern would have gone through residential and industrial areas, so straight through the park it went.

          5. Ah, those arrogant colonialists who don’t respect local customs …. um … er ….

          6. There are certainly several Chinese people working in Africa…

            If that isn’t the understatement of the year…

          7. So I understand. I recently met some people in Sudan who wish people like your father hadn’t left.

          8. We met a lovely old bee-keeper in Uganda a few years ago – he spoke perfect English and said he went to a British school.

          9. Would you recommend Uganda as a destination? I’ve read a lot about Rwanda and obviously Kenya, but very little about Uganda.

          10. I was there aged 7 for independence in 1963! It was stable for a while but went downhill when the leaders try and cling on to power by murdering the opponents. Its gone quiet now. Lovely people, nice climate, great natural resources. My father was a government geologist, one of his jobs was to locate water bearing rocks and place wells for the locals. It irks me that young people like Lammy criticise what we did in Africa.

          11. Museveni has clung on for years but he seems not to have done as much damage as Idi Amin did, or Mugabe in Zim. The infrastructure could do with a lot more money which is taken up by corruption.

          12. I would say that they do not need any more money.
            They need less corruption.

          13. They need to spend the money on facilities like schools – the money is there but goes into the corrupt politicians’ pockets. We visited a school last week, and several when we were in Uganda in 2014. We are going to talk about hedgehogs to one near here on Monday – the contrast has to be seen to be believed. But the kids we saw were a happy bunch.

          14. If you want to do gorilla trekking it’s half the price of Rwanda, and all the gorilla populations are in a small area around the Virunga volcanoes in the border area. We visited Queen Elizabeth National Park, which is lovely, but there are fewer plains game than other parks. It was strange not to see zebras or giraffes there.

            In Kisoro we stayed in a very down-market, but fun hostel – we visited a lot of schools and other projects, which took up a third of the money we paid for the trip, hence roughing it a bit. It’s well worth a visit – we didn’t go to the northern areas, but I think Murchison Falls would be good. The people are warm and friendly as they are in most African countries.

          15. Thank you. With the exception of scam artists near the slaving forts in Ghana, I’ve found all Africans to be warm and friendly. Much the same as my experiences in the Middle East e.g. don’t judge the Egyptian by the actions of touts near the pyramids.

          16. I liked Sudan. Had a contract there (Khartoum & Unity state) a bit over 10 years ago. Great people.

          17. I agree plus lots of interest for tourists (if you like ancient stuff) and almost no other tourists. I’m hoping they retain a sensible government.

          1. I suspect under reported because most African nations lack good health systems. There’s no proof that hot weather kills the virus.

          2. It would certainly be difficult for most African countries to contain the virus and deal with large numbers of sick people. I would guess the death rate might be quite high.
            On the other hand, people are tough and mostly under 50, and it seems to affect older people with underlying health conditions more severely.

          3. I suspect under-reported because they are still trying to work out a drum-beat pattern for ‘coronavirus’.

          4. Not “hot weather” perhaps, but I would expect the virus to be sensitive to UV light, ie sunshine.

        1. Kenya is beautiful. We went on exercise there a few years ago. Every day was like a free safari.

  9. Good morning all.

    Dull and overcast here, but the birds have returned to the feeders after my telegraph pole replacement disruption .

    We had a leak in the cold water pipe in the garage which our plumber fixed yesterday . There was also an old water softener system , which has not been working for years , so Moh dismantled it , and a trip to the tip will take care of things , more space now in the garage.

    1. Oh dear…… glad you’ve got things sorted – we got back yesterday evening and couldn’t find little Lily for a few minutes…… she was very grumpy and complaining loudly, but she sttled down with us to watch the telly later on.

  10. A Little Girl’s Fairy Tale

    This is the Fairy Tale that should have been read to all little girls

    Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess, happened upon a frog, as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the bank of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/17b9bf0d0d6f6a40ca466005b6bfaa2c6bbed2d33898378963736299e3781677.jpg

    The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said, “Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. However, one kiss from you and I shall turn back into the dapper young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle, with my mother, where you can:

    Prepare my meals
    Clean my clothes
    Bear my children and
    Forever feel grateful and happy so doing.”

    That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs, seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself,

    “I don’t fuckin’ think so.”

    1. Did the prince turn into a tasty mantis-shaped meal before or after he met the woke princess? Do all fictional heroes have to be called Harry these days?

        1. Jambo Peddy!

          Yes – it went much too quickly – though in some ways it seemed as though we were there forever.

    1. Student politics is the confine of less than 10% of students. Ignore the idiots.

      1. It a bit like those old gerries though, the 10 % impose their will on the others and in the end, society.

    2. What would the Lady of Shallot cry? And would Sir Lancelot wish to be included?

      “She left the web, she left the loom,
      She made three paces through the room,
      She saw the water-lily bloom,
      She saw the helmet and the plume,
      She look’d down to Camelot.
      Out flew the web and floated wide;
      The mirror crack’d from side to side;
      “The curse is come upon me,” cried
      The Lady of Shalott.”

  11. I wonder what advice Bill Jackson would have for the self-employed?

    As we know Boris Johnson is trying to ensure that people who might have been at risk of contracting coronavirus get their incomes restored immediately if they act responsibly, stop work and ‘self-isolate’ at home.

    But what about those who cease to earn completely if they stop working because they are self-employed? What incentive is there for them not to go on working when continuing to go to work is the only way to avert personal financial ruin?

    1. I was self employed for many years, I had two bursts discs in 2003 6 weeks with out income.
      A hip operation 12 years ago.
      Under the labour government
      I was assessed by an eastern European ‘doctor’ working for a dodgy french company.
      She asked me if I could pick up a coin from a table make a hot drink and other stupidly simple tasks. Which I could.
      After ticking her boxes she declared me fit for work. I couldn’t even take more than two steps with out my two sticks.
      So my benefit payment was stopped. I think it was around 50.00 quid a week. Bàstààrds.

      1. That was Asos for you – but most people had the disallowance decision reversed on appeal. Those questionnaires were designed to make the most disabled people appear fit for work, including terminal cancer patients. Yet we all know of fraudulent cases where people manged to get past them and carry on swinging the lead and the golf clubs.

        1. 12 years on still, have a problem pulling on my socks in the morning it’s touch and go :~#
          I was told those box ticking ‘Doctors’ were being paid around a grand a day.

      2. The minister responsible for that is now running a major part of the BBC (Education and Radio) and might put in a bid for Director General. These Londoner New Labour types really dislike poor people.

        1. What was his name JM i’m going to send him a bill for all my pains and discomfort.
          I was working in the building trade at the time sole trader. Forced into self employment by an earlier labour government.

        2. What was his name JM i’m going to send him a bill for all my pains and discomfort.
          I was working in the building trade at the time sole trader. Forced into self employment by an earlier labour government.

  12. The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threats and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

    The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

    The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

    The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s Get the Bastard.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

    Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

    The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

    1. As a full blooded Englishwoman I wake up every morning feeling bloody angry.
      When I no longer feel angry I may as well give up…

      1. Here’s something else to make you angry PT.
        It’s now been suggested that people over 70 could be banned from public gatherings such as football matches etc…..

        Well you woke morons, I banned my self from football matches due to ‘mental health issues’ because I can’t face looking at footballers, they are now looking more like over paid over privileged nonces with stupid haircuts and probably wearing makeup. I think that nailed it with out the penalty of having to remortgage for an entrance ticket.
        Players like Dave Mckay and Bobby Smith live in my memory.

        1. Console yourself that the hundreds of foreign players and managers on gigantic salaries in the PL and championship are helping the PTB pretend that the average immigrant is a net contributor.

          After all, 250 of those wages at say an average of 2 million a year (probably a gross underestimate), could give a big boost to the average income for all immigrants.

          1. Not far from where I live there is a cul de sac built on farmland in the late 60s when the detached 4 bed homes on 1 /3rd of an acre, were 16,000 new. My sister and B i L owned one. They lived there until the late 70s.
            Around 15 years later a trend was established by the new owners.
            Complete demolition (their old home was the first) and a huge new build. The Footballers had moved in. Automatic gates multi vehicle garages, cameras, power spotlights etc etc.
            Now for sale in the region of plus 3 million.

          2. Manchester especially, two big clubs Sos. I think these are Arsenal players the training ground is only about 4 – 5 miles away. Not far to go in their Ferraris and Lambo’s eh !
            Spurs players tend to be in and around Potters Bar, Brookmans Park.
            But ……….Now closed for ever ……..Stuart McCabe-Bell, from Potters Bar, said: “Coming into Potters Bar by train from the north its always a lovely sight of Potters Bar rising up above the course. Sadly I expect it to be gone forever as prime development land.”
            Tony Jacklin was a player there.
            More bloody north London housing and all it’s implications.

          3. They were almost within kicking distance of Alderley Edge, lots and lots of players there.

          1. Fulham. I remember seeing them beaten by Spurs in the early sixties. John White Tottenham number 8 scored a goal from a corner kick Tony Macedo was in goal. He’s still alive “and his name vill also go in zee book”,…….. he’s now 82.

        2. 70? I am 64 and would almost certainly get banned from football matches for making monkey noises every time a player got the ball, or thought about it.

        3. Dont worry phase 2 is ban people from over 70 from GP surgery’s and hospitals

          1. But not Bill as I have already witnessed in my own local surgery, newly arrived people on UK shores from far off lands, registering for continuous free treatment.

          2. Confirmation …coronavirus was engineered to kill off old peole who are a drain on society….

        1. Does grumpy mind? Remember the Dave Clark Five song, “Feeling…Glad all over”!

        2. For me, that’s a life time affliction.
          Formerly known as “Not Being A Morning Person”.

      2. Just imagine how Greta feels, when she wakes up thinking that its the end of the world soon. No worries about the pension like the rest of us.

  13. BBC
    “What is happening in Italy?
    Officials announced the record daily death toll in a statement on Friday.
    They said the number could not be officially confirmed until health officials had “established the actual cause of death”.
    The national health institute said the average age of those who have died was 81, with the majority suffering from underlying health problems. An estimated 72% of all those who have died were men.
    According to government data, 4.25% of individuals confirmed to have the coronavirus have died, the highest rate in the world.
    Italy has one of the world’s oldest populations.”

    Now those are very interesting figures.

    1. THe sought of death rates you can see with seasonal flu with people of that age and suffering other health conditions

      Slightly odd it is mainly men though

      1. The statistics reveal that in one day COVID-19 death rate in UK doubled from one woman to a man and a woman.
        That’s not slightly odd – it’s pretty even!

        1. We were talking about Italy though

          The infection rate in the UK is at present low as ids the death rate. My concern is no screening of people coming into the UK is taking place particularly from Italy which now has a very high infection rate. At the very least they should be handing out leaflets to people arriving in the UK from Italy

          1. Sorry, but Mary Soames was perfectly competent, involved in many voluntary organisations and she wrote a good biography of her mum Clementine.
            Her husband had a little job in Paris, and Mary raised five children.

    1. And Woodrow Wilson, who re-segregated the Federal government, was a Democrat.

  14. End of the road for pioneering hydrogen buses

    TFL bought 7 for use on route RV! and latterly they were used on route 444., They suffered from very poor reliability and have now been withdrawn

  15. I see Iceland have antiseptic Hand wash in stock but are imposing a limit of 2

      1. Actually, I shall probably buy some. Not for use as a hand sanitiser, but apparently it’s the main ingredient in current moss killers. I have used ferric chloride in the past, but the moss comes back very quickly in our damp conditions.

      2. COVID19 is a virus not a bacterium. Fungicides have zero effect. Other than that of a placebo…

  16. Cornwall’s first case of coronavirus confirmed.

    I thought it would get here Dreckly….

  17. Family of second UK virus victim to die fear he was not isolated quickly enough in hospital

    Not surprised the NHS in my view seems to have a very cavalier attitudes with this which I find very strange

    Where are you going to find the most people at risk of succumbing to Corona Virus? It has to be a hospital yet no real screening is taking place before admitting people on to a ward even the staff appear not to be screened and what are not all the staff wearing face masks ?

    The family of a grandfather who became the second person in the UK to die from coronavirus fear he could have passed on the infection as he was not isolated quickly enough.

    The man in his 80s, who had underlying health conditions, died on Thursday while being treated at Milton Keynes University Hospital.

    According to his family, the man was left coughing with “quite severe symptoms” on a ward with “lots of other sick patients for six or seven hours” before being moved into isolation.
    Relatives said they were told he had the disease, which has a mortality rate of 15 per cent with people over the age of 80, an hour before he died on Thursday evening.

    They also said they were concerned about the reason they were given for his death, which was presumed to be that he took off his oxygen mask and asphyxiated.

    Milton Keynes University Hospital NHS Foundation Trust confirmed on Friday night that the man died shortly after testing positive for coronavirus.

    n a statement, the trust said: “His family has been informed and our thoughts and condolences are with them at what is undoubtedly a difficult and distressing time.

    “The hospital continues to work with Public Health England to isolate any patients or staff who had contact with the patient.”

    1. It is a problem for the Greek government to solve themselves. Well-meaning interference by Western do-gooders is pointless at this time. It shows a kind of arrogance that reaps no reward.

  18. Government Corona Virus Advice

    It is all but useless as how many people will go to the government web site? and foreign nationals certainly are not. No information is provided at the ports at all

    How many people would know that they had to self quarantine? and even if they new how many would ?

    Returning travellers

    Stay indoors and avoid contact with other people if you’ve travelled to the UK from the following places in the last 14 days, even if you do not have symptoms:

    Iran

    Hubei province in China

    lockdown areas in northern Italy

    special care zones in South Korea

    Stay indoors and avoid contact with other people if you’ve travelled to the UK from the following places in the last 14 days and have a cough, high temperature or shortness of breath, even if your symptoms are mild:

    mainland China outside of Hubei province
    Italy outside of the lockdown areas
    South Korea outside of the special care zones
    Cambodia
    Hong Kong
    Japan
    Laos
    Macau
    Malaysia
    Myanmar
    Singapore
    Taiwan
    Thailand
    Vietnam
    Use the 111 online coronavirus service to find out what to do next.

    Do not go to a GP surgery, pharmacy or hospital.

    In Scotland call your GP or NHS 24 on 111 out of hours.

    In Wales call 111 (if available in your area) or 0845 46 47.

    In Northern Ireland call 111.

    Lockdown areas in northern Italy:

    in Lombardy: Codogno, Castiglione d’Adda, Casalpusterlengo, Fombio, Maleo, Somaglia, Bertonico, Terranova dei Passerini, Castelgerundo and San Fiorano
    in Veneto: Vo’ Euganeo

    Special care zones in South Korea:

    Daegu
    Cheongdo
    See maps of the specified areas.

    This guidance is based on the recommendations of the UK Chief Medical officers. These areas have been identified because of the volume of air travel from affected areas, understanding of other travel routes and number of reported cases. This list will be kept under review.

    For areas with direct flights to the UK we are carrying out enhanced monitoring. Passengers will be told how to report any symptoms they develop during the flight, at the time of arrival, or after leaving the airport.

    1. I find it very useful.

      There is a shortage of milk here, because I can no longer get it from Macau

      1. I don’t understand it. Where’s Peddy when a German to English translation is required?😎

        1. Falsch – wrong!
          Note: Don’t cough or sneeze at other people in the face!

          Richtig – the right way!

        2. Falsch – wrong!
          Note: Don’t cough or sneeze at other people in the face!

          Richtig – the right way!

    1. Let’s all hold our breath for a decade and see if mean global temperatures fall…

  19. Abortions

    Latest government statistics show that 1 in 4 pregnancies is aborted. I find that staggeringly high given the ready availability of birth control and the morning after pill (up to several days afterwards actually)

    The birth control pill is over 99% reliable

      1. Some trans woman use it just to go along with the pretense that they are a genetic woman

          1. Surely a unicycle is the last type of cycle that a trans thing would be seen on.

  20. Saudi Arabia ‘arrests three members of royal family’. 7 March 2020 • 2:40am

    Saudi Arabia has detained three senior members of the country’s royal family – including the king’s brother – for unknown reasons, according to reports.

    Prince Ahmed bin Abdulaziz, who is the younger brother of King Salman, and Mohammed bin Nayef, the king’s nephew, were detained, according to the Wall Street Journal.

    The New York Times also reported the detentions, adding that Prince Nayef’s younger brother, Prince Nawaf bin Nayef, had also been detained.

    Morning everyone. Well this is one of the problems of having a psycho in charge. The closer you are to the Centre of Power the more dangerous it is! These guys are probably having their fingernails removed as we read!

    One of the reasons that England became a “democracy” is the loss of life among the nobility under Henry VIII and Elizabeth I, they were literally decimated. This led to their weakening as a class and after the Civil War their eclipse as a political force. This outcome is not guaranteed of course, you may go the path of Spain and sink into religious mania and bloody minded obscurity! It is often forgotten by today’s political elites that Democracy serves them as well as the people. It guarantees that however much they f**k up they get to retire alive!

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/03/07/saudi-arabia-arrests-two-members-royal-family/

    1. Morning Minty. As you know some just don’t care. One or two seek infamy. How’s that Turkish chappie doing?

  21. Just thinking about who will deliver the food to the elderly widowers and widows.
    They are talking about bringing back retired health workers to help out in hospital,
    how about getting the old milkmen and baker deliverymen back for a few months.

    1. Plenty of Toms sitting around in barracks who could help. There are also several thousand sailors. We haven’t got any ships so they’ve probably got some spare time.

      This wouldn’t cost anything as they’re already being paid.

      1. But have they been DBS’d and intensively trained in conveying foil dishes into crumblies’ homes?
        And have said crumbly abodes been checked out by H&S for trip hazards, that electrical appliance have little green stickers and the water tested for lurgies? Can’t be too careful.
        Ooops, Mrs. Bloggs is dead, but Sailor Bill has been kitted out in a yellow jacket and safety helmet. So that’s all the boxes ticked.

          1. They’re very efficient – we never see our milkman but sometimes hear him clang the gate about 1am.

          2. ‘Morning, J, I’m often doing my night-owl impression and, also about 01:00, see the milkman’s torchlight at the gate where he’s delivering the milk..

  22. Men arrested in Dover after global migrant lorry smuggling operation

    Two men have been arrested and suspected firearms were seized in Dover as part of an international crackdown into people smuggling.

    The National Crime Agency (NCA) arrested the two Irish nationals, 39 and 48, on Thursday, March 5, and carried out searches in the area for firearms.

    Two suspected firearms were discovered by officers at a property in the area.

    Officials made the arrests in the seaside town following the discovery of 10 migrants in a lorry carrying a load of tyres near Ghent in Belgium on Thursday.

    The migrants, believed to be two adults and eight children, are thought to be from south east Asia.

    NCA regional head of investigation Gerry McLean said: “Our close working with our Belgian partners in this instance has led to the safeguarding of a number of migrants who had been put in a very dangerous situation, and we are grateful for their support.

    1. “…has led to the safeguarding of a number of migrants…”

      Sod the ILLEGAL migrants, how about some ‘safeguarding for UK Citizens?

      1. Just to rub salt in the wound the NCA will likely import all ten to testify and then…

    2. “…has led to the safeguarding of a number of migrants…”

      Sod the ILLEGAL migrants, how about some ‘safeguarding for UK Citizens?

      1. And block any public comments that support TR and ask why the media aren’t fully reporting this matter.

      2. 316963+ up ticks,
        Afternoon AS,
        That would spoil a good bit of needlework.
        The police are establishment ( governance employees) & doing the bidding of the politico’s as such, this is clearly showing.
        When the big bang comes as it surely must, where do the army stand ?

    1. It’s not like the police don’t have form on arresting those parents who make complaints about the sex exploitation of their children, or who have received death threats from members of the religion of peace.

      1. 316963+ up ticks
        Afternoon Ims2,
        They are under the umbrella protection of the submissive, PC,Appeasement brigade, this was proved at rotherham, many
        establishment employees involved.

  23. Morning, Peeps.

    Dellers is not wrong.  Johnson is walking into an electoral disaster if he thinks that ripping out every gas boiler and gas cooker will somehow impress the electorate.  And so too is the preposterous idea that aviation will become ‘carbon neutral’.  This is all manifestly idiotic and does not impress anyone with even half a brain:

    https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2020/03/06/delingpole-net-zero-new-remain-it-will-destroy-boris-conservatives/

    Edit: Would one of our wealthier Nottlrs care to put up Sherelle’s article?

    1. Morning all.
      However Huge, it’s perfectly normal for our political classes to severely eff up everything they come into contact with.
      Once more unto the breech….and so it goes on and on and on…….
      And we are forced by some strange quirk of fate to pay for all this useless abhorrent crap.
      I liken our inherently useless political classes, as trying to boil water in a colander.

      1. The damned idiots haven’t secured our borders yet .. our border force is a cheap ferry service ..

        Do illegals have their temperatures taken?
        Morning E.

        1. Morning TB.
          On both occasion when I emigrated I had to go through strict medical checks.
          It’s dreadful how we let all and sundry in, a container truck was found to be stuffed with illegals last week.
          Our stupid slack attitude is Just a signal to “help yourselves”.

          1. There were lots of officials milling about at Heathrow but they seemed to be doing little.

          2. The biggest scroungers are Harry and Megain.. their wedding cost a whopping £32 million .. and the rest .. Their attitude is .. Me me me ..

          3. MM is now in conflict with Charlie’s Mrs, Calmiller.
            MM will be ground to dust.

        2. Nobody had their temperature taken arriving at Heathrow yesterday afternoon. They were very keen on doing this in Nairobi, we had ours taken each time we passed through Wilson for internal flights.

          They did spray the inside of the aircraft before take-off from Nairobi yesterday morning.

      2. “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you”; apparently Reagan claimed they were the most frightening words in the English language.

        1. I quoted that to the girl in our greengrocers the other day. She fell about laughing.

    2. Croesus is my middle name.

      The political storm over green targets will be bigger than Brexit.

      Just when we thought the war was over, it is starting to dawn on some London hacks that it has only just begun. Beyond the Red Wall are rumblings of a new revolt, utterly unanticipated by No 10 and overlooked by a liberal media still shell-shocked by the election. With its drive to “green” the economy at any cost, the Tory party has seemingly decided to celebrate its populist landslide by bogging down the country in zero-carbon paternalism. And so we career towards another People vs Establishment conflict that could be more explosive even than that sparked by the referendum.

      A savvy politician like Boris Johnson can still reverse No 10’s green strategy, which moved on this week from banning petrol and diesel cars to the revival of onshore wind farms. He must – all the ingredients for another seismic uprising are already simmering.

      First is the drift towards disaster at the Treasury. With the Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, reportedly poised to end the freeze on fuel duty for all motorists, voters are referring to zero carbon as “the new austerity”.

      Indeed, the message to voters is sonorously clear – elites have learnt precisely nothing from the past 10 years. In 2008, people paid the price for dysfunction in the banking industry; today they must foot the bill for shortcomings in the energy industry, which is further away from a carbon-free breakthrough than it should be. Still, why tackle the source of problems when you can administer “tough medicine” to the masses?

      Second is the rising sense that the UK is still being sabotaged by the zealotry of unaccountable elites. Just as the EU establishment derives its legitimacy from the teleological assumption that the future is borderless universalism, the green establishment poised to take its place sees the planet rather than the people as the highest authority. As a result, the country is heading in a direction at odds with the ambitions of ordinary people.

      In particular, it is becoming disturbingly apparent that the Government prizes green targets over “unleashing” Britain’s potential. The cast-iron case for a road-building revolution, for example, clangs a little too harshly against the hollowness of eco-politan sensibilities. Whitehall is genuinely convinced that Red Wall utopia is cycling to work from a rabbit hutch on the outskirts of Birmingham. They find the idea that people might actually aspire to drive to their downtown office from their semi-detached in Dudley, and at the weekends cruise, sunroof down, to the Bullring for shopping, completely ghastly.

      The gulf in understanding was ever thus. As innovation professor James Woudhuysen alludes to in his writings, after decades of post-war policymaking hostile to the very concept of cars, what with them disrupting the working classes’ “community cohesion” and causing urban sprawl, in the Blair era there was the glimmer of intellectual breakthrough. Politicians finally recognised, at least in principle, that post-industrial towns can only be revived if they are an attractive commute from thriving cities.

      But there was a catch: elites could not bear to prioritise hard logic over their whimsical blueprints for car-free city centres and visceral disdain for the selfish individualism of the open road. Mr Johnson’s green-era promises to be equally irrational. There will be no relief for congested roads. A Cummings-style plan to connect the rustbelt tech hubs of tomorrow with superhighways is for the birds.

      The green agenda is also botching public transport. The epitome is HS2, a serpent-shaped monstrosity which slithered from the depths of a conniving political mind to appease the environmental lobby. True, it’s not exactly common knowledge that, in 2009, Andrew Adonis persuaded the then transport secretary, Geoff Hoon, to announce a high-speed railway to placate eco-activists spitting venom over a third Heathrow runway. But with former Brexit Party campaigners organising once again, it won’t take long for people to realise that green tape is suffocating our potential on a scale that rivals red tape from Brussels.

      All the more so given how quickly the project to “level up” the country has descended into fatuous virtue signalling. There is a joke going around the North that you can predict the metropolitan mayors’ latest gimmick about solar panels and cycling routes based on whatever nonsense Sadiq Khan has tweeted three weeks before in London. Architecture firms hungry for contracts are churning out plans for triple-glazed “affordable” homes too expensive to build on a mass scale, and offices with bike basements. One source told me that, all the while, “disenchanted employees squint at each other in meetings waiting to see if anyone dares to speak out”.

      Naturally, a new managerial language to mask the tiresome insanity of all this is delightfully burgeoning. Reports flatulate about “spatially just transitions to zero carbon” and “harnessing environmental assets”. Meanwhile, policy decisions that punish the poor are wrapped in doublespeak worthy of Ursula von der Leyen. The idea that onshore wind is now so competitive it should be able to apply for subsidies again being a most glorious example.

      People did not vote to “take back control” only to hand that control over to a new generation of fanatical and autocratic elites. If Mr Johnson wishes to win again, he has no option but to U-turn.

      1. But in the meantime there’s no duty on aviation fuel ?
        And the little mayor has allowed so many new properties to be built in NW7 that Barnet council has applied for planning permission to construct a new gas fired power station on green belt land !!!!!
        But hey triple glazing……let’s catch up with the Scandies they’ve been using it for many years.
        Our political sector knows all the answers in hindsight.

        1. There’s still a massive air passenger tax on flying though. Still it’ll suit the green agenda to make flying so expensive that only the elite can do it and sod the little people.

          1. It’s all about punishing the worker.

            The shirker slaps it on expenses. Those on junkets are usually tax payer funded – usually unwillingly and unknowingly so again, on us. It is the earner who pays.

            Same with fuel duty. It’s all a system of control.

      2. “…reportedly poised to end the freeze on fuel duty…”

        This annoys me. It implies the tax has to rise and government is keeping it down. Government chooses to levy taxes and those taxes destroy the economy. Fuel duty could be scrapped. The state would just have to spend less. It’s choice to continue taxing and wasting money is not something to applaud.

    3. ‘Morning, Hugh, I’ve searched through today’s DT but cannot find any article by her. Do you have a link, please.

      1. ‘Fraid not, Nanners. I saw that Delingpole had referred to her and assumed it was her latest column.

    4. No, but it probably gets him round the next corner with Soros who wants all that.

  24. Afternoon All

    Oi Laffed

    From the Telegraph comments:

    “I just can’t seem to shake off
    that Humphrey Bogart line from ‘Casablanca’ … “Of all the live animal
    markets in all the towns in all of China, COVID-19 originates in the one
    closest to the Wuhan Institute of Virology”

    1. Your namesake is now being investigated for historic child sex offences.
      It is on record that he was heard saying – ” Here’s looking at you, kid “.

  25. Out of the mouths of babes 🙂

    “We were hosting a dinner party for all our friends, some of whom we hadn’t
    seen for quite a while, and everyone was encouraged to bring their
    children.

    During dinner my wife’s best friend’s four-year-old, was
    sitting across the table staring at me. The girl could hardly eat her
    food for staring at me. I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for
    food, patted my hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring.

    I tried my best to ignore her but finally it was too much. I asked her:

    “Why are you staring at me?”

    Everyone at the table had also noticed her behaviour and the table went quiet.

    The little girl said: “I’m just waiting to see how you drink like a fish.”


    1. De tre personene ble innbrakt etter at de nektet å etterkomme politiets pålegg om å gå ut av veibanen.

      Aktivistgruppen Extionction Rebellions sto bak aksjonen, som ble gjennomført for å sette søkelys på klimaendringene.”

      Translation: None of the cars stopped, so by the time the police arrived on the scene, the protesters were dead “.

        1. “The 3 were brought in after refusing to obey police instructions to get out of the road.
          ER were behind the action which was carried out to set a spotlight on climate change.”

      1. Would that it were true, Tony. I see Oberstleutnant has given the true translation below.

    2. You mean the police didn’t dance with them while dressed as pink polar bears?
      Does Norway take in s(c)eptic old farts with attitude?

        1. I promise to get my hip done first, so the Norwegian taxpayer doesn’t have to support me!

      1. Erm, exactly are we individuals with open hearths or wood-burning stoves,supposed to do with our wood that is waste (i.e. coppicing, felling dead trees etc.) if we can’t burn it? Send it to landfill?

  26. It’s time that Sad Khant self-isolates to protect Londoners from his acute Napoleon Complex. Khant’s infection can be eradicated only by a large dose of voters coming to their senses.
    The latest wheeze to come out of the London Mayor’s office is to support a demand that social media companies ban anonymous accounts. This man needs to be informed in no uncertain terms that he is a local politician and a very poor one at that. Guido’s last sentence nails the hypocrisy.

    Order Order – London Assembly Votes for Ban on Anonymous Social Media Accounts

    The London Assembly is boasting about passing a motion yesterday that means it is now official GLA policy to:

    “Persuade the social media giants to ban all anonymous accounts, as these fuel people’s feeling of impunity, freeing them to be abusive online”

    The policy piggybacks on the death of Caroline Flack, attempting to exploit the tragedy for a big state power grab. It’s hard to detail how stupid this policy is. Not only would it endanger whistleblowers and those living under despotic regimes, it would also put a sizeable chunk of the online Labour Left out of business. The Labour Party was the only group on the assembly who voted for it, with the Conservatives, Lib Dem, Greens, and Brexit Party members refusing to back it…

    The Labour Party’s support for the policy shows that either Sadiq Khan does not understand the internet, or believes that Londoners are stupid enough to not see his naked attempt to make hay of a tragic death. Guido notes it’s now Labour Party policy to require proof of identity to Tweet, but not to vote…

  27. The row over Priti Patel is about who is in charge: government or bureaucracy?

    Charles Moore https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/03/06/row-priti-patel-charge-government-bureaucracy/

    Can anyone remember a time when there was so much support for a politician as there is for Priti Patel?

    That she is a Hindu, ‘of colour’ and a woman destroys the myth that Britain is a racist or sexist country. It is probably the very least racist country in the world.

    (Charles Moore’s article in Reply)

    1. Rumours about a minister determined to reform a failing department should be regarded sceptically
      In 1980, when she had been in office for a year, Margaret Thatcher experienced two contrasting events. On 5 May, on her orders, the SAS stormed the Iranian embassy in Princes Gate, London, rescuing the hostages held there and killing their terrorist captors. The next day, she gave a dinner at 10 Downing Street for all the permanent secretaries (i.e. head civil servants) of the government departments. She was trying to galvanise change with a message of “You and I can beat the system.”

      It was a rotten evening. The mandarins resisted, telling her, in effect, “We ARE the system.” Mrs Thatcher turned to her Cabinet Secretary and whispered, “They’re all against me. I can feel it.” The contrast between the can-do SAS “boys in black” and the can’t-do “men in grey” was painful to her.

      The Home Secretary, Priti Patel, is the greatest Thatcher admirer in the present Cabinet. She will be nurturing similar feelings today. A woman outsider trying to bring about serious change in matters such as post-Brexit immigration, and to see through roughly a third of the legislation coming before Parliament this year, she is facing obstruction from officials. Indeed, her situation is worse than Mrs Thatcher’s, because she is also facing character assassination.

      From the day Ms Patel announced her points-based immigration system three weeks ago, she has been the target of anonymous denunciations in the media. She is alleged to be a shouting, swearing bully. Now the Cabinet Secretary, Sir Mark Sedwill, has launched an investigation “to establish the facts” as to whether she has broken the Ministerial Code. The code says “Ministers should be professional in their working relationships with the Civil Service and treat all those with whom they come into contact with consideration and respect.”

      Additional accusations have been dragged up from the two other departments in which Ms Patel has already been a minister. This is supposed to imply that she has a record as long as your arm. It seems, however, that no formal complaint against her has ever been made. We are in the realm of rumour. We do not even know whether there are any facts to “establish”. So the Cabinet Secretary’s investigation involves going round departments seeking complaints, like police going round looking for evidence without knowing whether a crime has been committed.

      This seems a bad system: it is, literally, asking for trouble. It is against the interests of good government if a Cabinet minister can, without hard evidence of serious wrong-doing, be put in political limbo while the people who are supposed to serve ministers sit in judgment on them. This is part of the modern mania for “compliance”. Everything has to be codified; everything has to be formally investigated, which means being taken over by officials. It gives too much power to people we, the public, cannot control, and takes power away from the people we have elected. Wherever possible, we want government to get on with its work. That is the true public interest.

      Obviously it is important to behave courteously to civil servants. Most of them are conscientious; many are essential. It is a vanity of modern politicians to imagine that they could run the country without massive official backing. There is a vast range of expertise, detail and administration that no elected politician, or his appointees, could possibly have time to master. A current example is the preparation for health emergencies. If we did not have a permanent staff of health officials and experts planning for such contingencies, hundreds of thousands might have coronavirus by now, and arrangements to treat them and prevent further spread would not exist.

      But it is also true that civil servants should live up to their name. They serve: they do not rule. If you bear that in mind, you must regard the behaviour of Sir Philip Rutnam, the Home Office’s permanent secretary until last week, as very strange indeed.

      Last Saturday, Sir Philip invited the media to come and film him while he stood under an umbrella in a London park. He had never made any formal private complaint about Ms Patel to her or anyone else, yet here he was, attacking her. He announced that he had been offered lots of money to go quietly, but would not do so. Instead, he would bring an action for constructive dismissal in the courts. He said he had been the victim of “a vicious and orchestrated briefing campaign”. Ms Patel had denied any involvement in it, he said, but “I regret I do not believe her.” He was therefore resigning. Sir Philip’s lip trembled.

      As I watched Sir Philip’s performance, two things struck me. The first was that he was behaving like a politician not a civil servant. He was deliberately going public and making himself the story. By in effect calling Ms Patel a liar, he was trying to bring her down. Presumably he calculates that she will be too frightened to go before an employment tribunal. Such behaviour is way beyond his pay grade (although, be it noted, under our odd system, he was paid much more than the Home Secretary, with a much better pension and infinitely greater job security). It also represents an extension of the “lawfare” increasingly used, especially on the Left, to bypass elective government and conduct politics by other means.

      The second thing that struck me was that Sir Philip and his like are losing. His conduct was that of a desperate man. A previous inquiry after the 2018 resignation of Amber Rudd when, as Home Secretary, she gave inaccurate evidence about deportation numbers to the relevant Commons select committee, found that she had not been properly supported by the Home Office (perm. sec. Sir P. Rutnam), which kept giving her wrong information because its officials did not know the facts. The report by Wendy Williams on the Windrush scandal is due soon. Sir Philip already knows what is in it. It is thought not to read well for his Home Office. He may have felt he was running out of road.

      I am not speaking so much about the individual, however, as about the generality. Theresa May’s three years of government were, in an odd way, a golden era for civil service power, because there was such weakness at the top. Most of the senior officials were profoundly hostile to Brexit, and saw this as their chance to prevent or compromise it. With so little lead from ministers, they also felt they must take charge of their departments while the politicians squabbled.

      Since last December’s general election, all that has changed. The Government has a big majority. Brexit has happened and is being followed through. These changes have massive consequences for government policies, and it is the job of civil servants to recognise that and implement them.

      The current battles in Whitehall are sometimes represented as a struggle between a careless Boris Johnson and a brutal chief adviser, Dominic Cummings, against the forces of proper process and decency. Clearly it is never right to bully, belittle etc. Possibly Ms Patel can be too sharp-tongued – though it may simply be that she is, as Kipling put it, “more deadly than the male”. But that is not really the point. In the battle between bureaucracy, victimhood, litigation, and “compliance” on the one hand and democratic responsiveness on the other, our elected Government needs to win.

      1. “Ministerial Code”
        What exactly is the “Ministerial Code”? Who drew it up? Civil Servants? For what purpose? To control those whom they nominally serve? Why should anyone follow it?
        In the real world there are employment laws and Employee Handbooks of rules. None of them prevent a useless employee being yelled at by the employer or his appointed manager. There are processes in place, typically Verbal Warning, 1st Official Warning, 2nd Official Warning, Final Warning, Dismissal. When considering the bad behaviour/failings/shortcomings/derelictions etc of an employee ACAS advise employers to start by considering if the offence warrants dismissal, and not to start at the verbal warning stage. That is, ACAS say that the employer should consider first if an employee should be sacked, not if they should be given a telling-off. If an employee does not carry out his/her duties in line with their contract then they have broken their contract and have, in a very real sense, dismissed themselves. The employer simply recognises that with a formal meeting, a confirmatory letter and a P45. Oh, and there is no pay-off. The laws apply to civil servants regardless of their position.

      2. You can only treat people with respect when they do their jobs.

        When the activity is obstruction, obsfuscation and arrogance, as you cannot remove the civil servant then you have no levers.

        The obvious is not to pander to them, but to place the head of department – the minister – in charge of the employment of the senior civil servant. Then disobedience and frustration is met with removal.

        It is the most bonkers mechanism imaginable: the civil service does the work but is more interested in doing what it wants to. As a result, it sets about frustrating government – public – policy. The Service stands opposed to it’s employer, which cannot remove it. Therein lies the problem.

    2. The MCB were seen to be having a surreptitious dig at her the other day.
      WTF ? What is their problem ?
      Oh yes, we have seen what’s currently happening in India.
      I suspect they are afraid it might catch on.

    1. I have a vague recollection that al-Maktoum threatened to take all his horse racing interests out of Britain.

      Apart from the economic cost, what would the wealthy, the well connected and assorted ne’er do wells have done with their time?

    2. ‘Morning, Anne. On reading your second link, the following lines sprang to mind. Can’t imagine why……..

      “Bleed, bleed, poor country!
      Great tyranny, lay thou thy basis sure,
      For goodness dare not check thee.”

      — Shakespeare (Macbeth)

      :¬(

      1. Yes, surprisingly matter of fact for the Mail. Thank you.
        By the way, I used to read your name as ‘J S Checkter’.

    1. As I don’t subscribe to the Times, I can only read the first few sentences – not enough to determine if the article was written tongue-in-cheek.

  28. Good morning all.

    At the barber’s.

    A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber’s chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.

    The barber says to her, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your muffin.”
    She replies, “Yes, I know …and I’m gonna get boobs too.”

    1. At the barber’s.

      A little boy goes to the barber shop with his father. On the way theh stop at Gregg’s and buy a sausage roll each. He stands next to the barber’s chair, eating his snack while his father gets his hair cut.

      The barber says to him, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your sausage.”
      He replies, “Yes, I know …and my voice is gonna get deeper too.”

        1. Thanks, yes. Roof being repaired on 23rd – yes it’s taken that long. Glass loft hatch now going to have simple pattern on it, which will make it an asset rather than a square hole in the ceiling.

          D just had a pork and black pudding pie, which I couldn’t bring as it has been frozen. From F&F. Glad we didn’t bring it as D found it too salty!

          Give LK warm regards.

  29. It’s time the MSM were called out on their incessant panic mongering.
    Just back from shopping at Lidl – including unperishables to help MB while I’m hors de combat.
    Usual number of shoppers. Same size trolleys. Plenty of goods in stock – including the blasted bog rolls.
    The news outlets are deliberately hyping things up to fill acres of paper and countless hours of airtime.

    1. e-mail from our daughter in London this morning –


      Waitrose here has run out of tissues, soap and couscous so looks like North West London has been panic buying.”

    1. Well, we all know the NHS and British Social Services are twiddling their thumbs until Dalya rocks up in Blighty.

    2. Re the Child – I wonder if anyone at the Rag sought to get a comment on the girl’s plight from the President’s Office. After all he is a qualified doctor and I suspect that if asked he would have arranged safe passage for her back to Syria.

    3. Yes, absolutely. Those are just the people we need to allow into Europe.

      If we wanted to destroy our countries completely.

  30. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8084811/Camillas-fury-Meghan-releasing-pictures-day-speech.html

    Camilla’s ‘fury’ at Meghan: Duchess of Sussex is accused of stealing the limelight by releasing pictures of herself at the theatre the same day Charles’s wife gave a speech

    Tittle tattle – but I rather agree with one of the comments under this DM article:

    Let us hope that Harry and the Meghan monsta now go away from Britain, stay away, and never come back

  31. I am not ‘transphobic’ because I am not scared of them. I am transpitic because I pity them.

    Does this constitute a hate ‘crime’?

    1. Watch out – that’s a hate crime! Whenever I have to refer to them, I shall use quotation marks i.e. trans “man” or trans “woman”. Same as same-sex “marriage”. I hope that should be enough to avoid arrest.

    2. DI Sam Tyler: “I think we need to explore whether this was a hate crime.”

      DCI Gene Hunt: “What, as opposed to one of those I-really-really-like-you sort of crimes?”

      1. I watched the entire Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes series on BBC iPlayer last month.

        It was still as fresh, funny and priceless as ever. :•)

        I’m Gene Hunt, your DCI, and it’s 1973, almost dinner time … I’m ‘avin’ ‘oops!”

  32. What has happened to our hero and heroine on the Princess Diamond Coronavirus cruise, David and Sally Abel of Youtube fame? Last heard of Feb 25 seemingly from a hospital in Japan and er, recovering…. then nothing, as far as I can tell. Does anybody know? I am wondering if information has been deliberately suppressed; it just seems odd as prior to that date they were everywhere in the media.

    1. British man dies from coronavirus after being on Abels’ quarantined cruise ship. Friday, 28th February 2020, 5:52 pm.

      “As for now we are in hosptial and most likely will be for at least another seven days.”

      David Abel kept friends and family informed of life on board the quarantined ship.

      His most recent YouTube video appeared early today (Friday February 28) and yesterday the 74-year-old filmed himself dancing to the Dirty Dancing song ‘I’ve had the time of my life.

      https://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/people/national-british-man-dies-coronavirus-after-being-abels-quarantined-cruise-ship-2003812

    2. Don’t know but there was another couple whose wedding photo appeared on BBC News because the guy had come down with Covid-19 and that story was withdrawn because he rather inconveniently recovered. Sometimes these stories are rushed out too soon. Not just a BBC thing. The general scramble to be first.

  33. Corona virus cases now 206 [Sky News] Supermarket bosses now saying the Health Minister’s promises on food supplies is “totally made up] The government has not been in direct contact. [Sky News] Why the lies from the Health Minister?

    1. What do you want him to say ? – ” Shut up and leave me alone and use your bloody common sense, man “. ?

      1. Common sense has gone out the window these days. Hancock has been talking as if he has had top level meetings with Supermarket bosses. As it is, the Sky article says the supermarkets think they can keep the shelves stocked but they can’r guarantee it.

        1. A bit of starvation would do a lot for the country’s obesity problem. If there are food shortages, the overweight chavs should be last in the queue. Greasy fish and chips should be banned for starters.

    2. Waitrose Sandestead fully stocked at 11:30 a.m. No sign of panic buying. But then the folk around there are terribly British.

      1. Not much sign up here in N Yorkshire but 2nd class stamps hard to find – probably due to imminent stamp price rise.

      2. My shopper was at Waitrose WGC earlier. No problems at all. Plenty of reductions.
        She loves a bargain. 👀

        1. Waitrose has excellent customer service. Last Easter i ordered a leg of lamb. By Easter Sunday it was one day out of date. I emailed them about it not as a complaint but to inform them. I told them it should be obvious that it was for Easter Sunday given when it was ordered. They refunded the full amount and sent me a £10 voucher.

          1. So you bought another leg of lamb with the voucher. Nearly a year later it will be off. But you can feed it to the dog and ask for another voucher.

    3. Read “the scorpion and the frog” fable. Why does a politician lie? They can’t help it – they are a politican.

    4. I would bet informal contact has been made to various people in the industry and they’ve said there should be no need to panic.
      The Supermarket bosses are covering their backsides and making mischief, to get some financial support.

  34. This is a recent medical lecture which is an excellent explanation even for lay people on how the coronavirus kills.
    The video has a second part which explains how recent medical findings can guide treatment to allay the progression of symptoms which are associated with COVID-19:

    https://youtu.be/okg7uq_HrhQ

  35. 2 police women on patrol with an alsatian dog.1 says”I’m gettin cold n ive left my thermal knickers at the station”. The other says, “let the dog sniff your crotch n he’ll fetch em for ya” . They do this and 2 hrs later the dog returns with a truncheon, a plastic baton, & 3 of the sergeants fingers.

  36. I wonder am I being particularly picky.
    The rugby is on later (soon) this afternoon Iive from Twickenham England.
    It’s on the ITV network. NOT on the bbc.
    But tomorrow to share the apparent burden, the bbc have Scotland verses France.
    I don’t understand why the bbc who are suported if not entirely but
    very heavily by mainly by the majority of English licience fee payers, are not televising todays game. But seem to have chosen to rub the noses of the majority licience fee payers
    into something slightly obnoxious.

      1. I didn’t want to say that Minty, but I feel you are right.
        I don’t think it’s the first time they have done this sort of thing.

    1. The word is that in future the Six Nations tournament will be going to pay-to-view (e.g. Sky). It is being considered at the moment.

      1. Yes. Sky are apparently offering some £300m in a deal. However, I’d expect CVC Capital of Singapore to make a play for the 6N. CVC already control the Premiership. Whatever happens, professional rugby including the 6N will be behind a paywall within 2/3 years.

    1. After the live dog thrown on the barbie video i won’t be watching that one thanks.

    2. I guess previous famines have taught the Chinese that it is possible to eat anything on two legs or four (except of course the table & chair)….

  37. Two Years Later: The Skripal Case Is Weirder Than Ever. Matthew J. L. Ehret / March 7th, 2020.

    Since Novichok is an extremely fast acting substance, generally attacking the nervous system in minutes, how is it possible that the time separating the Skripals’ moment of contamination to the moment of losing consciousness on a park bench was over three hours?! How is this possible? Similarly how was it possible that Sgt. Bailey’s point of contamination at Skripal’s home occurred a full 12 hours before he felt the need to go to the hospital?

    This is just one of the points raised by the author, all of which have been raised on Nottl many times. There is only one major divergence in that the book mentioned in the piece assumes that the Skripals are illegally imprisoned when they have almost certainly been murdered!

    https://dissidentvoice.org/2020/03/two-years-later-the-skripal-case-is-weirder-than-ever/

    1. No way Minty. That nice Peter Guillam is looking after them in a safe house in the country….

    2. Not satisfied with describing a former British Army officer as a rodent earlier today, you continue to spread your pro Russian disinformation.

        1. Anyone who relies on the Russians for her daily dose of “the truth” is mad.

          1. Well the article mentioned in my post was written by a Canadian. No doubt you think he works for the Kremlin as well! The truth is that no one over the age of seven or with an IQ over ten would believe this ridiculous story. It is unusual in all False Flag operations in that no counter evidence is required, it fails by its own intrinsic stupidity!

          2. Not relying on the Russians (John Helmer is not a Russian, but is based in Moscow)

            Just not relying on the UK government either.
            Rule of thumb: none of them can be trusted. They’ve been caught lying too many times.

          3. In the aftermath of the Salisbury attack Minty spent at least a fortnight posting a stream of Russian misinformation many of the claims lifted from Russian propaganda outlets. Minty’s hatred of successive UK governments has led her to a political stance of admiration for one of the world’s most corrupt regimes. It’s not and never has been limited to the work of one Canadian journalist.

          4. I don’t know who’s set you off but he’s having a laugh at your expense! This story is indefensible, it is nonsense, it is drivel. You are simply making a spectacle of yourself!

          5. There’s no need, everyone has read it and you are proving the truth of it here!

          6. You are beginning to sound positively unhinged. I have no interest whatsoever in my upvote score. It would not concern me in the slightest if no one voted for me at all. That you should think so indicates your own fragile self-esteem!

          7. The spreader Russian misinformation and this site’s leading conspiracy theorist calls me unhinged!

          8. You are beginning to sound positively unhinged. I have no interest whatsoever in my upvote score. It would not concern me in the slightest if no one voted for me at all. That you should think so indicates your own fragile self-esteem!

          9. Minty is not the only one not to believe the UK government’s explanation of the poisoning. Many people don’t take it at face value, and that was nothing to do with Russian disinformation, but going purely on the account given by our government.

            We also didn’t believe the story about poison gas attack that took place in Syria, which our government was trying to use to justify bombing Assad’s military. Subsequent information came out to prove that it had never happened.

          10. Minty’s actions after Salisbury went well beyond scepticism. The deliberate spreading of Russian misinformation from day one after the attack, is exactly why some don’t believe the government. You need to take a step back and ask yourself whether you truly believe the Russians over your own government. Minty clearly stands by Putin, do you?

          11. You don’t have to be a Putin fan or a Russian agent to doubt the narrative of events, according to HM Government. I don’t believe a word of it. I’ll give you my reasons.

            In April 2015, Hillary Clinton engaged Marc Elias, of legal firm Perkins Cole, as attorney of record for her 2016 presidential campaign. In April 2016, Elias hired private investigators Fusion GPS on behalf of the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton campaign to dig some dirt on Donald Trump. Fusion GPS, in turn, contracted the job to one Christopher Steele, a former head of MI6’s Russian desk.

            Now, Mr Steele, together with another British spook, Pablo Miller, former head of MI6 operations run from the British Embassy in Estonia, were both involved with running Sergei Skripal as an agent in situ in the GRU, Russian Military Intelligence. Skripal was arrested and sentenced to thirteen years imprisonment but later released in a ‘spy-swap’ deal and settled in the Salisbury area not far from the UK’s chemical warfare research station, DSTL Porton Down, where, by a strange and cosy coincidence, lived his two former ‘handlers’, Messrs. Steele and Miller. Skripal was employed by Steele’s firm, Orbis Business Intelligence, and undoubtedly knew something about the fake, now discredited ‘Trump Dossier’, so clearly he knew said dossier was pure bovine excrement.

            Next thing, an alleged attempt was made on Skripal’s life and the sneaky Russians are blamed but cui bono? Who had a real motive for killing Skripal? Surely not Putin – he could have had him executed at any time, while he was in Russian custody. There is however one person who might wish to silence Skripal forever and prevent his talking about the ‘Trump Dossier’ in the future and that person is Hillary Clinton. It wouldn’t be the first time that a person who had posed a threat to the Clintons died under mysterious circumstances. They have a long reach and undoubtedly connections, through their friends in the CIA, with the British Intelligence Services.

            Much has been made of the two Russian ‘assassins’, Anatolij Tschepiga alias Ruslan Boshirov and his companion Petrov who were exposed following an intercept, by an RAF listening station in Cyprus, of two messages sent from Damascus to a Russian official in Moscow. The first said “The package has been delivered” and the second “Two individuals have made a successful egress”. I mean,come on … ! Does anybody in the intelligence business really talk that way outside of a third-rate spy novel? And why was Damascus of all places involved with an alleged Russian operation in Britain? Who contacted Damascus to pass on this information and how did they do it? Don’t the Russians have more direct communications with the UK, for instance through a secure line from the Russian Embassy? Anyhow, these messages allegedly prompted a young RAF officer in Cyprus to recall a third message, previously discounted, which seemed relevant. The contents of this third message have conveniently been withheld from the public domain.

            Here’s a theory. Tschepiga and Petrov were sent to make contact with Skripal and offer an amnesty in exchange for information on the fake dossier. The Russians would then feed this to Trump and the UK would be in hot water for having themselves directly or indirectly been involved its creation. Trump would be vindicated as would the Russians and both would re-evaluate who was friend or foe. This was dangerous for the UK, hence the hysterical reaction, which left gaping holes in the quickly concocted narrative. But there was a plus side for the British Government: the story served as a convenient distraction from the bad news about its negotiations with the EU which was daily getting worse.

            Was it an attempt on Skripal’s life at all? A Swiss laboratory which analysed samples taken from the Skripals found no sign of ‘Novichok’ but they did find traces of BZ, a disabling nerve agent, the effects of which wear off after a couple of days and which is stocked at DSTL Porton Down. Was somebody trying to scare the shīt out of Sergei Skripal and warn him off telling what he knew about the fake dossier?

            Finally, we come to the two British ‘druggies’ in Amesbury – not far from Salisbury – one of whom died. They supposedly poisoned themselves with a perfume spray filled with ‘Novichok’ that they fished out of a waste bin four months after the original ‘attack’ on the Skripals and after police and military decontamination teams had conducted an extensive search of Salisbury and the surrounding areas. If you believe this, you have to believe that the waste bins in Amesbury were not emptied between March and June and the police didn’t check them in all that time. Bullshīt! Whatever it was had been planted there long after the Skripal affair.

            I have to go now ….. there’s someone knocking at my door. If it’s those Jehova’s Witnesses again, I shall get jolly cross ………

          12. Duncan, the facts are that Minty did nothing but post Russian disinformation from day one; that’s a verifiable fact. Everything else is speculation. Minty is a useful idiot.

          13. Cochrane is not interested in facts Duncan hence the ad hominems. He’s a troll and he’s obviously had a bollocking from his handler.

  38. Two Years Later: The Skripal Case Is Weirder Than Ever. Matthew J. L. Ehret / March 7th, 2020.

    Since Novichok is an extremely fast acting substance, generally attacking the nervous system in minutes, how is it possible that the time separating the Skripals’ moment of contamination to the moment of losing consciousness on a park bench was over three hours?! How is this possible? Similarly how was it possible that Sgt. Bailey’s point of contamination at Skripal’s home occurred a full 12 hours before he felt the need to go to the hospital?

    This is just one of the points raised by the author, all of which have been raised on Nottl many times. There is only one major divergence in that the book mentioned in the piece assumes that the Skripals are illegally imprisoned when they have almost certainly been murdered!

    https://dissidentvoice.org/2020/03/two-years-later-the-skripal-case-is-weirder-than-ever/

  39. Oh my God.

    Coronavirus cases have soared to just over 0.0004% of the UK population.

    Everyone panic, we’re all gonna die.

    I wish the MSM would begin to get this into perspective.

    1. Perspective?? The Mail is hyperventilating !!

      “In total in the UK, 164 people have tested positive for Covid-19, up from 115 cases reported on Thursday.

      Even

      once it reaches its peak, coronavirus chaos could last for another six

      months – infecting millions of people as the UK is ravaged by the

      disease.

      Dr Piot added: ‘If it goes

      down in April or May it could come back again in November,’ adding that

      there is currently no vaccine and that ‘medieval ways of containment’

      are being used so far.”

      https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8085837/Coronavirus-outbreak-peak-UK-Easter-six-months.html

      1. One wonders whether there might be a crime, hidden in the myriad of UK laws, where the mainstream media doom-mongers can be brought to account. Say for speading gloom and despondency in a time of crisis, notwithstanding that there might well not be a crisis!

        It’s small wonder that the “bloggosphere” is so sceptical of the information being put out.

        1. What about “Spreading Alarm and Despondency” from WW2 that is probably stll on the books?

          1. My apologies if that is so Sos! There seems to be some minor deviation in the wording!

    2. We’re too late for that. Besides they don’t want to draw attention to the fact that Priti Patel is a heroine and Cur Pip Batman is an idiot of the highest order.
      Edit: We’re

  40. Just a personal observation on bog rolls.

    Would anyone agree with me that there wouldn’t be such as shortage of them if females didn’t routinely have the wasteful habit of using half a roll each time they have a No.1? One sheet is all that is required, dears! 🤨

      1. Just use your left hand. More effective (as long as you wash it afterwards).

        1. My left hand is non-absorbent. Wouldn’t help. I prefer toilet tissue. Much more absorbent.

          1. Unless one has a bidet, that would just result in water going everywhere. Hand basins are not always sited next to the loo.

            Especially in public loos…I can’t see it working in my local Tesco loo, for example.

          2. As you get older, you will find your body deciding for you when you really have to go.

          3. As you get older, you will find your body deciding for you when you really have to go.

          4. Problem is, what do you dry your soaking wet hole on? A Dyson airblade? Going with a soggy arse isn’t nice (as I experienced in Libya after using the hose attachment…)

  41. Nissan backs Brexit Britain by ploughing £400m into its Sunderland car plant

    Steve Bush, of the union Unite, said the reaffirmation of the £400million investment ‘is a welcome confidence booster and a big vote of confidence in the workforce.’

    1. I believe the UK is the world’s 5th largest car market, so maybe Nissan realise that manufacturing here would be a good idea if tariffs were in place on European made cars.

  42. Double Awkward

    “The investigation, though conducted with the apathy of a teenager

    asked to clean their bedroom, churned up an astonishing amount of

    misconduct and obfuscation. Thousands of personnel from social services

    to police commissioners right up Blair and Brown themselves were

    irrefutably implicated in the grooming scandal. This report must never

    see the light of day… Ever!

    No one at the Home Office envisaged the sudden appointment of a

    driven, young politician of Indian decent from Witham to Home Secretary.

    Almost immediately she began enquiring about the progress of the

    grooming gang investigation. After six months of evasion and

    dissimulation – the civil servants were not even allowing their minister

    of state to see a draft! – Prit Patel pulled Rutnam to one side and

    gave him a well deserved bollocking. You all know what happened next.

    On Thursday 5th of March, this story broke – the vocal BBC and

    Skynews, along with their Labour coconspirators abruptly dropped their

    demands for the Home Secretary to stand down. It became the story no one

    in the legacy media wanted to touch”

    https://thewestminsterwing.org/2020/03/07/why-the-media-stopped-reporting-on-the-war-between-downing-street-and-the-civil-service/
    The petition to release the report is rolling along nicely,let’s keep the pressure on!!

    1. Who can blame her?
      She’s of Asian descent.

      The narrative has always been Asian men, the Pakistani Muslim aspect was played down.
      Every Asian man was being tainted by this, when in fact it was a particular group that was mostly involved.
      And most scandalous of all it was the very people who should have been protecting the girls who were protecting the perpetrators.

      Go for them all Ms Patel, and go for their throats.

      1. …and go for their throats.

        As for the men involved I’d be tempted to have their punishment start off a bit lower down and end it at their throats after they’d had time to contemplate their betrayal of the young girls.

        1. I may well have more hatred for those who protected the perpetrators, right the way to the top.

          However dreadful the crimes it was part of their upbringing and culture.

          1. Diversity only works if the diverse integrate with the maistream.

            Most people who praise diversity as our strength never have to suffer the people who arrive and hate us.

            Like so many people in positions of power and privilege the ones she meets are delightful, educated and integrated.

          2. I’m with you on that point. My, “as for the men involved,” was meant to be inclusive, perpetrators and protectors. Perhaps I didn’t make that clear.

    2. I get the impression the authors have seen the report. Have they, or is it just wishful thinking?

      1. Fine organ, lovely acoustics. Quite a talent.
        Could do with fewer dramatic gestures, though.

        1. They are for protection, in case any of the organ-grinder’s monkeys get stroppy!

      2. If you think this is good, you should hear him play Stop, Stop, Stop (by The Hollies).

  43. An American Tourist in Japan
    An American tourist is in dire need of a toilet while waiting in the lobby of a Japanese hotel. The men’s room in the lobby has an enormous line, while the ladies’ room is completely empty. Desperate, the man goes up to the manager and says, “I’m sorry, but I really, really need a toilet, would you mind if I used the ladies’ room?”

    The manager says, “Sure, go ahead. Just be careful not to press the red button.”

    The man sprints into the ladies room, sits himself down on a stall, and relieves himself. While he is doing this, he notices three buttons on the wall next to him. Curious, he presses the blue button. He jumps as a bidet shoots a small stream of water at his butt, cleaning it. Intrigued, he presses the green button, which turns on a drier that shoots a stream of warm air at his butt.

    After his butt is nice and dry, he is even more curious as to what the red button does. Excited, and a bit apprehensive, he presses the red button and promptly blacks out.

    He wakes up in a hospital bed and is surprised to see the hotel manager standing by his bed.

    “You pressed the red button, didn’t you?” the manager asks.

    “Yes, what did it do?” the man asks.

    “It was an automatic tampon remover.”

      1. Goodness me , I assumed I had found a fresh joke .
        The shops have been stripped of loo paper .. I wonder why BIDETS aren’t placed in every British bathroom .. their use would have stopped the kerfuffle re hoarding of lavatory paper .

        1. Good G-d !! Shaking hands with someone who has used a bidet !! I’m amazed that it isn’t France that is on lockdown.

  44. A poor African man is walking across the desert
    He’s lost, thirsty and completely hopeless. At one point he finds a magical lamp, and a genie pops out of it.

    The African man is completely awe struck, and falls to his knees. “I will grant you three wishes!” The genie says.

    The African man replies “I would like a lot of water, a lot of p###y and I would like to be white!”

    The genie turns him into a bidet.

    1. Prince Charles is driving to Windsor Castle as nears his destination he accidentally runs over one of mummies corgi’s.
      He gets out of the car and an Iorish elf pops out from behind a tree. Hallow sur can I help you with one of my wishes ?
      Well says HRH can you restor this dead corgi I’m going to be in serious trouble when my mother finds out.
      The elf examines the dog and says I’m afraid I’ve got bad news for you sur. No chance at all.
      I can still grant you at wish sur.
      Well says Charles although my wife is a lovely person she frankly could use a bit of a make over she’s not the prettiest woman I know, what can you do for her ?
      The elf looks HRH straight in the eyes and says, well sur let’s just have another look at that corgi shall we ?

    1. We always used the Yorkshire Evening Post every day after we had stopped reading it. In those days, even the poorest of the poor could could afford a newspaper.

      1. It was something to read as well while you were sitting there. We used the Mirror!

      1. My mother was the same – until her new daughter-in-law (my wife) tactfully explained that she preferred the soft tissue. Result – overnight switch to soft toilet paper.
        Edit – mother (spelling)

      1. When you’d finished with that Government Property, I hope you returned it to its rightful owners.

    2. From the heart of my bottom I am glad that hard toilet paper is a thing of the past.

  45. Hmmmm

    The decree details from Reuters:

    ITALY DRAFT DECREE TELLS PEOPLE NOT TO ENTER OR LEAVE REGION OF LOMBARDY AND 11 PROVINCES IN OTHER REGIONS

    ITALY’S DRAFT DECREE SAYS SCHOOLS IN LOMBARDY AND 11 PROVINCES WILL REMAIN CLOSED UNTIL AT LEAST APRIL 3

    ITALY DRAFT DECREE ON CORONAVIRUS SHOWS NEW RESTRICTIVE MEASURES

    FOR NEW AREAS IN REGIONS OF LOMBARDY, VENETO, EMILIA AND PIEDMONT

    ITALY DRAFT DECREE URGES PEOPLE NOT TO MOVE AROUND INSIDE AREAS

    COVERED BY DECREE EXCEPT FOR ESSENTIAL WORKING NEEDS AND EMERGENCIES

    ITALY DRAFT DECREE SAYS ALL LEAVE FOR HEALTHCARE WORKERS CANCELLED IN LOMBARDY AND 11 PROVINCES

    ITALY DRAFT DECREE SAYS ALL GYMS, SWIMMING POOLS, HEALTH CENTRES AND SPAS TO CLOSE IN THE SAME AREAS

    ITALY’S DRAFT DECREE CLOSES ALL SKI RESORTS, MUSEUMS, CULTURAL CENTRES IN SAME AREAS

    ITALY’S DRAFT DECREE SAYS ALL SHOPPING CENTRES TO CLOSE AT WEEKENDS IN SAME AREAS

    ITALY’S DRAFT DECREE CLOSES ALL SKI RESORTS, MUSEUMS, CULTURAL CENTRES IN SAME AREAS

    Elsewhere in Europe, health authorities on the small

    Mediterranean island nation of Malta have raised the number of people

    with coronavirus to three, after the parents of the girl first infected

    tested positive too.

    Iran also reported a more than 1,200 case jump in infections to a total of 5,823.

    One computer scientist who has been modeling outbreaks around the

    world said Italy’s spread has produced “one of the most alarming charts I

    have ever seen.”

    https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/leader-italys-democratic-party-tests-positive-covid-19-live-updates
    So which is it “All a storm in a teacup” or “we’re all doomed”
    Talk about mixed messages

    1. There seem to be about 3 different petitions (unless they have amalgamated). There is Gerard Batten’s, The English League’s, and another whose origin I can’t remember.

  46. Now watching Michael Portillo and Great American Railroad Journeys. To New Brunswick down, eventually, to Quebec.

  47. Supermarkets begin food rationing after wave of coronavirus-fueled panic buying. 7 March 2020.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68f4ceeaa5f2a3c1682a30e4f0742f2f5ca3a6de4d4648cde1e4e98f0a9a27fd.jpg

    Tesco to limit items including baked beans and pasta after customers strip shelves bare.

    This is going to get really nasty and there’s no way of saying where it will end! When they write about it in twenty years they will say that the Coronavirus was nothing in itself; it was Governments response to it! It will be like domino’s going down, one thing after another.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/03/07/supermarkets-begin-food-rationing-wave-coronavirus-fueled-panic/

    1. Can you imagine what the current population would have done during WW1 or 2. Heaven help us.

    2. The coup comes closer… Virus fear, now empty shelves… Army on the streets soon, to prevent rioting… Bye-bye Brexit.
      Never waste a good crisis.

      1. What with the Green terror, and the stockmarket crash – they’re trying to suppress all dissent.

      2. Don’t forget shutting the Internet down Oberst! That’s the first thing nowadays!

    3. The coup comes closer… Virus fear, now empty shelves… Army on the streets soon, to prevent rioting… Bye-bye Brexit.
      Never waste a good crisis.

      1. I once accidentally bought vegan sausage. They tasted awful and threw them away.

          1. Is he trying to tell us that he ate the wrapper instead of the contents? Well, it doesn’t surprise me.

      1. I was in our local 24 hour ASDA superstore yesterday and all was normal. The only empty shelf I saw was for the 69p six-packs of tomatoes. Plenty of spaghetti, bog rolls and paracetamol

    1. Mass attempt to break into a local house. They misread the sign in the garden TO LET.

    1. I worked in an accounting office where one of the anterooms used for filing had lights that went on in response to movement in the room. (No, that’s not a pun.)
      One day the lighting did not go on. So I asked some volunteers to come into the anteroom to do the special Make the Magic Lights Work Dance.
      HoHum. It turned out that the movement detector was broken. As was the humour sensor of the Finance Director.

  48. Is the world going mad over the corona virus malarkey, the cure seems worse than the illness.

    1. I am not so sure. When the Chinese shut down whole cities, when the Italians place curfews and movement restrictions on many towns and villages I reckon we are not being given the facts.

      Corona virus or Covid-19 is something new. Those who contract the virus are said by scientist researchers to suffer irreparable scarring of the lungs. Having personally suffered bilateral pulmonary embolism and pneumonia I feel that our government should be placing restrictions on those returning from those affected countries.

      Those who ignore this virus fail to understand how these viruses spread. This particular virus could spread exponentially like a modern plague epidemic.

  49. People are still going around trying to buy antiseptic soap. The reality is any soap will do. Antiseptic wipes are useful if you are unable to wash your hands

      1. Dont expect anyone to take any notice of it. Probably the virus is far more likely to be spread by the moth and nose

        1. So (c. Cathy Newman) you’re saying that wearing a face mask is to stop moths going up your nose.

          1. It works. I’ve never had a moth up my nose while I’ve been wearing a facemask when working in dusty conditions.

  50. From The Times –


    Covid-19 ‘could cause worse recession than Brexit’

    Hammond warns of greater disruption than no-dealCoronavirus
    could pose a greater risk to the economy than a no-deal Brexit,
    according to the former chancellor Philip Hammond. The former
    Conservative MP said that outbreak had the potential to “cause similar”
    or “greater levels” of disruption to supply chains than a no-deal
    Brexit.”

    Can someone tell this has-been to shut up and go away ? Any idiot can come to thet conclusion, plus he can now
    stop whining about Brexit. He is not the big man any more.

    1. The government rather than taking action now seem to be waiting until lots of people have got it before taking any real action. At the moment it seems all you need do is wash your hands.which does not do much

      1. Are the government supposed to panic. What do you expect them to do?
        Sometimes it’s better they do nothing. Looking at most things government do their main claim to fame is catastrophe.

      1. If that bog roll had been placed on the holder the proper way (i.e. with the end protruding underneath) then that damn cat wouldn’t have been able to unravel it.

        [Cue multiple whines from those anal retentives who insist it is on the “correct” way!]

        1. If you’re anally retentive then perhaps it shouldn’t matter which way the bog rolls.🤔

          1. Precisely. I just cannot understand the difference. I really don’t care how the ‘right or wrong’ way can be defined.

    1. Three ‘Australian’ women.

      The much vaunted Australian points based immigration system clearly working well.

  51. “Parliamentary watchdog to investigate Johnson’s Caribbean holiday”

    Getting as bad as the States we are.

    1. Good grief! How far we have fallen when ultra hypocrites such as Corbyn remain untouched despite affiliating with the IRA and Hizbollah and any number of other enemies of our country.

          1. I’m just back from the pub. So I have to give you ‘Wiki” shit.
            “Hezbollah was founded in the early 1980s as part of an Iranian effort to aggregate a variety of militant Lebanese Shia groups into a unified organization. Hezbollah acts as a proxy for Iran in the ongoing Iran–Israel proxy conflict”
            Maybe if you don’t like ‘our’ country they’re not an enemy. Give me Israelis any day of the week.

          2. Nothing there explains how Iran is an enemy of our country.

            Sure Iran is not an ally, never said it was.

            But perhaps you can explain how Israel is our ally?

          1. 40 years ago.

            And it was the Iranian Embassy that was taken over by elements hostile to the Iranian regime. I’m not entirely clear on how that makes the state of Iran our enemy?

          2. You stupid oaf. The siege was all about some crappy quasi religious sub-section of Arab shits wishing to gain control of the oil production of Iran.

            What do you suppose the shits will have done with the revenues from oil had they succeeded? Yup, they would have developed nuclear missiles and aimed them back at Blighty. This is much as the present Iranian religious regime is intending.

          3. You stupid oaf. The siege was all about some crappy quasi religious sub-section of Arab shits wishing to gain control of the oil production of Iran.

            What?! This is your argument?

            What do you suppose the shits will have done with the revenues from oil had they succeeded? Yup, they would have developed nuclear missiles and aimed them back at Blighty. This is much as the present Iranian religious regime is intending.

            Are you actually writing these words? This is insane.

            A rebel group attacked the Iranian regime and failed. But, somehow, this means the Iran regime is a threat. But you clearly state the threat came from the rebels. And I’m deranged?

          4. You stupid oaf. The siege was all about some crappy quasi religious sub-section of Arab shits wishing to gain control of the oil production of Iran.

            What?! This is your argument?

            What do you suppose the shits will have done with the revenues from oil had they succeeded? Yup, they would have developed nuclear missiles and aimed them back at Blighty. This is much as the present Iranian religious regime is intending.

            Are you actually writing these words? This is a completely bizarre line of argument . . . I’m literally . . I’m fazed by it! It’s like I’ve walked over a cliff road runner style and the ground has disappeared beneath me. Yet people are agreeing with you as if you had said something based in reality.

            A rebel group attacked the Iranian regime and failed. But, somehow, this means the Iran regime is the threat. But as you clearly state the threat came from the rebels. And I’m deranged?

          5. You are clearly deranged and unaware of the threat posed by Iran and its proxies to our Western values and way of life. Now get lost. I am off to bed.

          6. There are very sound, pragmatic reasons why everyone, in my view, should keep their ID private on this forum. Given enough access to past posts, which would be the case if an ID was not private, it is often easy for someone with the time and enthusiasm to do so, to build up an accurate enough picture of an individual to then identify their name, address and phone number. I am not cowering behind a private ID – simply being cautious against assorted nutters.

          7. True, but I don’t think it’s that hard to maintain opsec in terms of the content of comments.

            I don’t think anyone reading my comments, even over years, would know my name, job, precise location. Nothing for any hostile nutter to get their teeth into.

            If one is putting out that kind of info one might as well not be anonymous at all regardless of a private ID.

          8. It is not that anyone’s posts would necessarily give away your personal details but that they might provide the clues to narrow down searches in other databases. It really is very easy to step by step find out about someone if they are incautious about what they post. You may well be someone who takes precautions but not everyone does. Your use of the word “opsec”, for example, suggests (but only suggests!) a military or security background and probably one in the last 25 years since the term did not become widely used until then.

          9. That was probably its intention. Night night corim.

            Think I’ll follow suit.

          10. What is the threat posed by Iran? You’ve still not explained.

            What am I ignorant of?

            I’ve been accused of being deranged, of being a troll, an oaf, of being ignorant. But apparently I’m the one spewing bile? The easiest, simplest way to prove I’m all these things would be to answer the question. Look, there it is an open goal, the goalie is leaning against the post having a fag. Someone could just walk up and boot the ball in.

            A claim has been made – that Hezbollah/Iran are enemies of this country. Those making a claim need to have some kind of argument or evidence to back it up and thats all I’m asking for. If it’s so blindingly obvious then at least one person should be able to supply it.

          11. Here are just three examples of how Iran is an enemy of our country:

            1. The U.K. has about 400 forces in Iraq, spread around Irbil, Baghdad and Taji, all locations that have been targeted by Iraqi Shiite militias backed by Iran’s Quds Force, the external operations wing of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps.

            2. Iran’s Revolutionary Guard seized British-flagged tanker the Stena Impero in the Straits of Hormuz. The First Sea Lord described it as “aggressive” and “outrageous”.

            3. Iran has announced that it will no longer be bound by any of the restrictions in terms of the numbers or type of centrifuges that can be operated or the level of enrichment of uranium that it can pursue.

          12. Thats more like it! See you guys, it wasn’t nearly as difficult as you were making it look!

            Raises many interesting points:

            #1 The issue of what British forces (and others) are doing in Iraq.

            #2 Happened after we seized an Iranian ship.

            #3 A whole host of issues of who and who doesn’t get to have nuclear weapons!

          13. With reference to your No 1: they are there because they were sent there by a duly-elected British government and with the agreement of the Iraqi government in order to help achieve peace in a volatile part of the word. War in that part of the world impacts on everyone – trade, air travel, migration and so on. Whether or not that is right is another thing – the fact is that British troops are under threat from Iran and that makes it automatically an enemy of the UK.

            Your No 2: there were good internationally-agreed grounds for the seizure of the Iranian ship, none at all for the British one.

            Your No 3: just about the whole world agrees that proliferation of nuclear weapons must be prevented in the interests of the world at large. There IS no “host of issues about who and who doesn’t get to have nuclear weapons”; the clock cannot be turned back on those who currently have them and every attempt must be made to prevent those who don’t from getting them.

          14. That explains how Hezbollah is an enemy of this country . . ?

            And what, precisely would be wrong with the BNP? Or it’s blog (does the BNP have a blog?)

          15. Yup. The fellow is a troll of the first order which probably explains his numbers. I think this troll known as Cochrane was previously banned but evidently the idiot has managed to evade the controls and continues in posting his antagonistic rubbish.

          16. Copy has been around under similar names for years and has lots of loyal fans such as myself.

            Why should I care about Iran? Thanks.

          17. I’ve been posting at this site since it started, when the DT wiped out Disqus. First when it was a Disqus Channel and in the current WordPress incarnation.

            I’ve no idea who this Cochrane person is.

            Why is it none of you can answer what is clearly a very simple question?

          18. You’re right to look at scores.

            #1 Generally trolls have very low scores, sometimes less than one vote per comment.*

            #2 Trolls never make substantive arguments, they immediately resort to personal attacks and insults, often accusing others of being trolls.

            #3 They nearly always hide behind private accounts.

            *One anomalous troll is/was the loony on The Spectator, he was operating close to twenty accounts, all upvoting each other, so he did have a high vote count. The giveaway was that he rarely if ever upvoted anyone else (even people it would seem he agreed with) and all his upvotes were from himself. His sole mission seemingly to distort any interchange, sow mistrust etc. A pure troll. However he’s the only troll I’ve ever encountered who had a high score.

          19. Hezbollah is a militant organization and proxy for Iran.

            But still no reasonably concise explanation of why Hezbollah or Iran is an enemy of this country. If it’s so obvious you should be able to explain it to me.

            You conflated the IRA and Hezbollah. No argument from me about the IRA. But Hezbollah, that requires some explanation.

            (Dunno who Cochrane is)

  52. Many Happy Returns of the day to our Geoff, founder and hero of our little home-from-home.

    Have a great day, Geoff!

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  53. Watching the end of The King and I on Channel 5. Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner. Excellent acting. They don’t make them like that anymore.
    Edit Brynner for Brunner.

      1. We’re not domestic animal lovers although we’d do them no harm. Born and brought up in flats in the centre of London we weren’t allowed pets in the flats apart from goldfish and budgerigars.

  54. LAS looking to ban facial hair

    50 clinical staff have failed fit tests because of facial hair , Those with protected characteristics such as religious disability will be engaged with on a case by case basis

    It is getting ridiculous that people are employed that cannot fully do the job. If they get the virus no doubt they will be looking to sue the NHS

      1. meant to put religious beliefs or disability although quite what a disability has to do with it who knows. Are they implying some LAS staff are so disabled they are unable to shave ?

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