Sunday 8 March: The coronavirus ‘battle plan’ can only work if it is implemented now

Posted on by Geoff Graham

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Today’s letters (visible only to DT subscribers) are here:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2020/03/08/lettersthe-coronavirus-battle-plan-can-work-implemented-now/

722 thoughts on “Sunday 8 March: The coronavirus ‘battle plan’ can only work if it is implemented now”

  1. Journalists and aid workers bear brunt of vigilante violence on Lesbos after backlash to migrant landings. 7 March 2020 • 5:03pm

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9dafcb1aa9b1ed1236ae3617fc870896769d91c7cc729eaf769a89c714220457.png

    Michael Trammer, 25, was photographing a standoff with a dinghy full of refugees who had just crossed from Turkey, with locals determined to prevent them from landing.

    All of a sudden, he was set upon by five or six young men in tracksuit bottoms and puffer jackets, who grabbed him, threw him to the ground and started kicking and punching him.

    “I wanted to get a photo of the people who were stopping people on the boat from getting off,” he told The Telegraph.

    Morning everyone. Well it’s all there isn’t it? Straight out of the horse’s mouth! The Lesbians (if they will forgive me for calling them that) have figured out who is not on their side and would happily see them turfed out of their homes to accommodate incomers.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/03/07/nobel-prize-distant-memory-lesbos-right-wing-vigilante-backlash/

    1. A very pro-“refugee” article from the Telegraph, they even managed to find a rare photo of two small children! This is literally an invasion of fighting-age men, the locals can hardly be blamed for wanting to stop them, especially with the history that Greece has with Turkey.

    2. ‘Morning Minty
      As two people have already been arrested over social media posts about the invasion I am not surprised that they didn;t fancy being snapped by a snowflake

      3. Happy birthday Geoff,

        I note that with every extra year that corona virus has a worst affect.

      4. Hippidy hoppidy bippidy boppidy GG.
        I hope you have a lovely day and are showered with gifts🎂

      8. Wishing you a joyful day and no worries about the age, it’s just a number. Happy birthday, old chap.

      11. Hippo Birdy Two Shrews
        Hippo Birdy Two Shrews
        Hippo Birdy Old Graham,
        Hippo Birdy Two Shrews!

  4. Good morning folks,

    Bright start here but with some fast moving ominous looking clouds moving eastward

    1. Is she referring to outbreeding?

      Here’s a question – how many of those births go on to produce a net gain for the economy? How many are productive citizens with no criminal record? How many achieve 11 grade A-Cs at GCSE and go on to further and higher education.

      Oh look. All you’re doing is breeding. You’re not useful. You are, in actual fact, a virus killing the host.

  6. Just looking at the lock down in Lombardy, I expect that will happen here before long, I wonder what will our governments get up to while we are all trapped.

  7. I can remember back in the day at infant / primary school if you needed the loo which were outside in the cold you had to ask for toilet paper, I remember being allowed one sheet of that Izal grease paper.
    Maybe supermarkets should start selling it by the sheet.

      3. Good for wrapping round a comb to produce a kazoo type noise.
        The joys of a fifties’ education. Our other little pleasure was squirting each other with water from those exciting new plastic lemons.

      5. My dad says sadists made it and masochists used it.

        I think I’ve only seen it once in the wild, in a holiday let in Bournemouth, early 90s. The girlfriend and I were horrified, quickly obtained our own comfy alternative.

      6. I remember one drunken night in college halls, trying to use it as cigarette paper 🙄

        1. Don’t forget the neat square ceramic boxes to hold the stuff.
          Usually in shades of eau de nil. (Now THERE’S a colour from the 1950s.)
          Morning, Belle.

        2. Well, newspaper was softer. Newspapers could be graded: Scotsman -durable heavyweight with big pages, Daily Record- small pages but lots of them, Evening Dispatch, medium weight but soft and a nice pink colour.

        1. You’re quite right, Alf. In fact my earlier post about using Izal paper for tracing paper as a child was mistaken – it was Bronco paper we used. How the memory plays tricks at times!

      10. Good for wrapping round a comb to produce a kazoo type noise.
        The joys of a fifties’ education. Our other little pleasure was squirting each other with water from those exciting new plastic lemons.

        1. Our other little pleasure was squirting each other with water from those exciting new plastic lemons.

          Ooooh, you naughty girls.😎
          One lad at ECG came up with the idea that dry rice was the perfect ammunition for redundant ballpoint pen tubes i.e. a small ammo version of a pea-shooter. For a short time it was mayhem with rice being launched everywhere including during some lessons. Of course, it was eventually banned and looking back it was quite a dangerous idea as the rice grains could be propelled at quite a velocity and eyes were at risk.

          1. Teachers used to confiscate the lemons.
            At the end of term we had to clear and sweep our classrooms.
            The teachers returned the plastic lemons and we happily squirted the dust to damp it down.
            “So there, Sir!”

        3. I remember that Anne , exactly .. spot on .. Goodness me ,I can even just about remember the smell of the Izal paper .

          I also remember using a piece to wrap around an icecream wafer sandwich to stop ice cream dripping everywhere… yeugh !

          Good morning to you.

      11. Travelling as a child on Royal Mail Line ships between England and Argentina, Izal was a wonderful commodity. We children would tear several sheets off the loo roll and use it as tracing paper.

        CORRECTION (after reading Alf’s post below): It was Bronco paper and not Izal that we used as tracing paper.

        1. Izal came in small boxes with a slot in the box – they were already cut into squares

          1. ‘Izal Germicide’ was printed on our bog rolls when I was a kid, ‘government property’ was printed on each sheet in my service career.

    3. I can imagine the aweful scenario now when selfish people start nicking the lavvy paper from public conveniences.

      Remember, do not forget to sort yourselves out before you leave the house.

    4. It was still on sale relatively recently, saw it in a supermarket a few years ago.

      And I was trying to find out if it was still in production only a few weeks ago – no time to explain.

      I think it is genuinely gone though.

  8. 🎶 Good morning, good mooorning
    Its great to stay up late.
    Good morning, good morning to you🎶

  9. Still on the road

    SIR – I support Neale Edwards (Letters, February 23) in his plea for keeping older cars.

    I have a 19-year-old Saab, which has cost me around £2,000 a year in depreciation, car tax and repairs – much less than the cost of changing my car every three years under the finance agreements promoted by manufacturers.

    I assume the car is not a major polluter because, if I take it into central London, it is not subject to the Ultra Low Emission Zone charge. Moreover, it is reliable, has no rust and is not full of distracting gadgetry.

    If I scrap it, that will generate carbon emissions as components are broken down for recycling or sent to landfill. If I then buy a new car, there will be all the emissions from the manufacture of the steel, plastics and other components – as well as the emissions from the transportation of components to the factory, the cars 
of the workers going to the factory, and the oil and electricity used to run the factory.

    As I am 70 years old, my Saab may last longer than I do – so would it not be greener for me to keep it?

    Ian Burton

    Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire

    1. It’s the thing which irritated the shonet out of me with Brown’s Scrapage Scheme. Many, perhaps most, of the cars scrapped were well maintained older vehicles with several years of life left in them and comparatively few were the Scrapyard Dodgers Brown claimed he was aiming for. A massive waste of resources.

    2. Plenty of old cars from the 1940s and 1950s in Cuba (they couldn’t get new cars after the revolution) – must be ‘greener’ than constantly replacing them for newer models.

      1. Unfortunately many of the engines had to be replaced because of lack of parts. As a result many of these beautiful Buicks and Chevrolets have Lada engines.

    3. It’s the thing which irritated the shonet out of me with Brown’s Scrapage Scheme. Many, perhaps most, of the cars scrapped were well maintained older vehicles with several years of life left in them and comparatively few were the Scrapyard Dodgers Brown claimed he was aiming for. A massive waste of resources.

    4. Instead of wasting untold fortunes on elastic* cars that will never be viable, we could stop production of cars entirely and only allow replacement parts to be made and sold.

      *Even better than electric.

  10. Morning all, rationing of food is now being talked about, takes me back to my childhood.
    Any chance the bulldog spirit is on its way back as well?

    1. 316981+ up ticks,
      Morning VVOF,
      No danger, the uni’s plus the submissive, PC, Appeasement
      brigade would be against it to start with.

    2. Morning VVOF. No. The Bulldog has been mated with Mongrels and its whelps are no longer fit for purpose.

      2. Not to be wasted by anything other than internal application, I don’t care how much of a shortage there is in hand sanitisers.

        1. As a bottle of sanitizer is now considerably more expensive than a bottle of gin, maybe it would be better to wash your hands in gin ?

          1. My choice would be to drink the Gin in self isolation which negates the need to consider sanitizer. I would make do with soap and hot water.

          2. Yes, the alcohol will remove any virus from your hands. (Anti-bac is next to useless against a virus.)

  11. Former Scottish government worker claims a coronavirus pandemic ‘would be quite useful’ in killing off NHS bed blockers in the wake of the first UK death

    A coronavirus pandemic would be ‘quite useful’ in killing off hospital bed blockers, a senior doctor claimed today in the wake of the first UK death.

    Professor June Andrews, a former Scottish government official, conceded the comments sounded ‘horrific’ but insisted they were an honest assessment of the consequences of a Covid-19 pandemic.

        1. I don’t care about hubris, I don’t eat Greek food. If I die from coronavirus I care even less about them building better ships in the future either!

  12. A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father

    “Hey Dad, what’s the difference between ‘theoretically’ & ‘realistically’?”

    His Dad thinks for a while & then says;
    “Right-o son……go & ask your mother if she’d sleep with David Beckham for a million quid.”

    The boy trots off and comes back saying “Dad, dad, she said she would!

    She would sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds.”

    “OK son,” says his dad. “Now go & ask your sister the same question.”

    The boy toddles off, & comes back saying “Dad, dad, she said she would too!”

    So then his dad says “Right, son, now go & ask your elder brother if he’d sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds.”

    The son comes back excitedly saying “Dad! Dad! He said he would too!”

    “Well there you have it, son,” said his dad.

    Theoretically we could be sitting on three million quid.

    Realistically we’re living with two tarts & a poof.”

  13. Morning everybody. The sun’s out, hooray. Geoff – Many Happies today hope you have a great day.

    It strikes me that the Coronavirus is a stroke of fortune for the still moaning Remainers. The MSM has done its utmost to frighten the life out of us, people are panic buying, we’re being told to self isolate/not go to work if we have certain symptoms – businesses will suffer enormously, especially sole traders/SMEs. This will be right up the remoaning remainers’ street as our economy will go down the drain. They will blame it on Brexit (though we haven’t properly achieved it yet).

    Add to that the HS2 decision to waste millions more £s on a ridiculous project, tax changes due to come in as per Janet Daley’s article, the banning of diesel and petrol in years to come coupled with the lack of supply of electricity for our electric cars and all other transport, questions over money still to be sent to the EU, decoupling from the ECJ – OMG 😲 we’re doomed!

    1. The Coronavirus is obviously a Remainer plot following their shocking discovery that Brexit wouldn’t be so bad after all.

    2. The MSM’s role in deliberately hyping the hysteria is appalling.
      Yesterday, I went shopping in Lidl – no panic buying there and a normal number of customers for a Saturday afternoon – and then really took my life in my hands and went to a local charity quiz in the evening.
      No masks, no gloves, no sanitisers; people mingling perfectly normally and only getting emotional over their inability to interpret the ‘dingbats’. And groaning when they couldn’t recognise a piece of film music.

      1. Annie, at St. Andrew’s church in Halstead yesterday there were laminated signs posted up notifying visitors about Government advice on hand-washing precautions, along with a small plastic bottle of sanitiser lotion. It seems that it is easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than to escape Coriander Virus warnings.

      2. We visited our first home yesterday in Maidstone, where we moved to after we were married in 1968, and had lunch at a steakhouse. Lots of families there, nobody wearing masks, no sanitisers on offer (except in the bathrooms), all was normal.

    3. Vouvray, you are John Laurie (“We’re doomed”) and I claim my five bob postal order.

    4. I gather that if you die from coronavirus in Italy, you are banned from holding a funeral.

      1. No matter where you die, you will probably not be in a fit state to hold a funeral.

  14. Why is the government still not screening every one coming back from high risk countries ?

    At the moment you can enter the UK without any screening or any real information be given out

    The government has 2 categories at present. The first group you are supposed to automatically self quarantine your self. The second group is you are supposed to decide if you have the symptoms. If you think you have you are supposed to self quarantine yourself , If not you do nothing

    First who really looks at the government web site and second what about overseas visitors. They are probably the ones most likely to bring it to the UK

    Category 1

    Iran
    Hubei province in China
    lockdown areas in northern Italy
    special care zones in South Korea

    Category 2

    Stay indoors and avoid contact with other people if you’ve travelled to the UK from the following places in the last 14 days and have a cough, high temperature or shortness of breath, even if your symptoms are mild:

    mainland China outside of Hubei province
    Italy outside of the lockdown areas
    South Korea outside of the special care zones
    Cambodia
    Hong Kong
    Japan
    Laos
    Macau
    Malaysia
    Myanmar
    Singapore
    Taiwan

      1. Become a teenage computer nerd.
        You can sit in your bedroom, surrounded by pizza boxes … and nobody will go near you to complain.

      2. I have no ideas. I doubt the government or NHS have neither in fact the information they give out is vague and inconsistent

      1. Depends on your reference point. Still Clacton has one benefit. Jaywick i so run down even migrants will not go there. Mind you those place were never built as homes. They were just cheap basic holiday accommodation build by Ford workers hence why the street names are mainly Ford cars

      2. Not sure, Annie (good morning, btw), but in Halstead yesterday I got some funny looks yesterday as I emerged from the toilets singing “Happy Birthday”.

        PS – There was a remarkable lack of clientele at one of the Chinese restaurants. I suspect many up and down the country will end up closing down if this Coriandervirus continues for much longer.

        1. WE have an over supply of restaurants and fast food outlets so any downturn in business will sink some of them

  15. Project Fear is back !! All you can eat from the Guardian!!

    ” Fears of virus risk to grandparents offering emergency childcare

    School closures could force parents to call on older relatives for help – perhaps exposing them to infection”

    1. Surely, if schools are closed the risk of cross contamination amongst children reduces? Therefore, the risk to grandparents also reduces – assuming they weren’t ignored until free child care was required.

  16. Flight still coming into the UK from Milan with no checks at all in place and Milan is now in the Italian lockdown area

  17. Italy in lockdown – 16 million quarantined as COVID-19 grips country

    Milan & Venice are in the lockdown areas but we are happily letting people into the UK with no checks

    Around 16 million Italians have been quarantined as the government introduced drastic measures to try to stop the rapid spread of coronavirus.

    The entire Lombardy region and 14 provinces in four other regions have been closed off after Italy saw its biggest daily increase in COVID-19 cases since the outbreak broke out in the north of the country on 21 February.

    The unprecedented decree forbids anyone from leaving or entering the new red zones except for ”undeferrable work needs or emergency situations” until at least 3 April.

      1. What I dont quite understand is if Milan & Venice are in lock down why are flights still going to and from these places ?. I can only assume they are a 100% screening them first

      2. You shouldn’t be going. Tourism has destroyed Venice. Where is your conscience ?

        1. But equally without tourism Venice would be destroyed. Just need to find a way to manage the numbers

  18. Back on the topic of the great bog-roll shortage: what is the panic all about?

    I have a solution. If bog-rolls become scarce I shall simply log into the online Guardian and print off all the pages. It will then be quite a simple matter to tear those pages into squares and thread them onto a string for hanging in the bog (making sure, of course, that the string’s knot is on the outside and not peeping from beneath the pad of torn pages, lest I upset the heavily anal types!).

    Make do and mend, that’s me. If it was good enough for the WWII generation then it’s good enough for me.

      1. I dont remember agreeing with you to post my picture on the site !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. Respectfully Grizz, that’d be a waste of paper and ink, and energy to print it.

      While you could always buy all the copies of the guardian to use as loo roll, it’s already so full of sh** that you’d have to wonder if you’d leave dirtier than when you started.

      1. Er … I live in Sweden and I can’t buy the paper version of The Guardian here. It would be an utter waste of my time using Aftonbladet, Expressen, Dagens Nyheter or Ystads Allehanda.

  20. Just been shopping, Waitrose in Banstead had plenty of loo roll but was out of paracetamol and aspirin.

      1. Ah thats why they are depressed. I wonder if you can get loo rolls on prescription ?

      2. I heard that Sainsbury’s have put out a recall on toilet rolls, as the cardboard cores, made in Wuhan, may be contaminated by coronavirus.

        You have been warned.

  21. Fire damages Greek island refugee centre

    A fire broke out at a refugee centre on the Greek island of Lesbos on Sunday, causing considerable damage to a warehouse but no injuries, Greece’s firefighting service said.

    It was the second fire at an installation built for migrants, after a reception centre was burned down by unknown perpetrators last Monday.

    The warehouse, which contained furniture and electrical appliances, was destroyed, a firefighting service spokesman told the Associated Press.

    An investigation into the fire is under way.

    1. The Greeks have to fight fire with fire – make it untenable for the hordes of illegal migrants unleashed by Turkey.

        1. Hmm, with my art critic’s hat on, there appears to be no idea of perspective and why would one go to sea with a stained glass window. Sorry, C-.

          ‘Afternoon, Mola.

          2. Hi, here’s the written description. “A Byzantine ship uses Greek fire against a ship of the rebel, Thomas the Slav, 821. 12th century illustration from the Madrid Skylitzes”

      2. I was looking at my Atlas of the British Empire and Lesser Places to find the nearest island within swimming distance of a foreign country where we could dump our undesirables. Under International Law and the precedent set by Turkey, that foreign country would be forced to take them in and distribute them around anyone they have open borders with.

        One candidate is Craggy Island, just off the coast of Galway, and easy to run a shuttle service from Derry. However, all the Irish need do is to push them back over the border for the price of a few pints of Guinness for the local customs & immigration officers.

        Next candidate is Isle d’Ouessant just off the coast of Brittany and an easy sea trip from Penzance. I suggest therefore opening up the railway line down to this Cornish port for transit offshore.

        Now what’s to stop continental neighbours using the Isle of Wight for the same purpose?

        An alternative is to send them to Gibraltar.

      1. If everyone tied a hula hoop (remember them?) around their waist and did their best to stop their hoop touching another hoop, the one metre gap would be visible and easily enforced.

        Plus it would take those devices out of the gym.

      1. But, but, but… that would be cultural appropriation (according to the University of East Anglia).

        ‘Afternoon, Bob.

  25. Who wants to have a guess at todays numbers ?

    My guess about 250. If it is much more than that the spread of it will be speeding up

      1. Another thing to Consider is Easter is coming up and the number of people flying abroad and coming to the UK will considerably increase. Without screening people we will see a considerable increase in the virus

    2. The more who have it, the more likely it is to spread. That’s not a bad thing, just maths.

  26. Good morning all. As we awake to a pleasant Sunday morning and another round of panic-inducing headlines about Coronavirus, I can’t help thinking that it is panic-buying, shutting down schools, businesses, sporting events etc that will really tank our economies. Any death is a tragedy, but is this really the modern equivalent of the Black Plague? Shouldn’t we take sensible precautions around hygiene, but otherwise just get on with our lives?

    Saying that, I can’t help thinking that swifter action to screen or keep out Chinese people in the wake of the outbreak might have prevented the spread. But then, that would have been racist wouldn’t it?

    Coronovirus is not the only disease which has been re-introduced to Britain due to our open borders. I wonder why London is the Tuberculosis capital of Europe?

    https://www.nhs.uk/news/medical-practice/tb-rises-in-uk-and-london/

    1. The level of hysteria from the MSM is most peculiar,either they’ve been told something by TPTB that we haven’t or they are behaving in a grossly irresponsible manner
      The next 2/3 weeks will reveal which is true
      ‘Morning JK

    2. Shouldn’t we take sensible precautions around hygiene, but otherwise just get on with our lives?

      Morning Kuffar. One suspects that without all the MSM kerfuffle all this would have passed off as a mild influeza attack! As it is, it looks a though it is going to have a Domino Effect and first collapse the world economy and then political structures! Nasty things are coming!

      1. The media seems to want to whip us into a state of hysteria over everything (I’ve lost count of the number of ‘snow-mageddon’ weather warnings we’ve had which turn out to be a few flakes!). It seems we are to be kept in a permanent state of fear, presumably so that the State can step in and ‘save’ us.

      2. The media seems to want to whip us into a state of hysteria over everything (I’ve lost count of the number of ‘snow-mageddon’ weather warnings we’ve had which turn out to be a few flakes!). It seems we are to be kept in a permanent state of fear, presumably so that the State can step in and ‘save’ us.

        1. Yup. The more people are forced to look to the state for a ‘solution’ the easier we accept giving it more of our money.

          Of course, government is incompetent, inefficient and pointless.

      3. Morning Minty ,

        As we have witnessed happening years ago in Rhodesia , South Africa, Greece , Italy , France , Venezuela, Syria , Iraq, Libya, Hong Kong , Iran etc etc

    1. And according to the Guardian grand parents are now considered a danger to their grad children.
      I’m not sure If that’s exactly what was written, but if it was I would consider that a serious hate crime in any circumstances.

      1. Given that the coronavirus is more deadly to the elderly than the young, I would have thought it would be the grandchildren being a danger to their grandparents.

          1. I can remember quite often getting a cold not long after the kids had gone back to school after the Christmas holidays.

  28. International Womens Day-

    London

    Demonstrators from climate activist group Extinction Rebellion have
    been protesting in London for IWD, arguing that the “climate is a
    women’s issue.”

    Thirty one women formed a topless chain blocking Waterloo Bridge in
    London, with the words ‘Climate Rape’, ‘Climate Murder’, ‘Climate
    Abuse’, ‘Climate Inequality’ and ‘Climate Justice’ written on their
    bodies.

    The group said the action was to highlight “the disproportionate
    impact of the climate and ecological emergency on women, and the
    resulting increase in hardship, violence and rape.”

    It’s time women were put back in their place. Let them off the leash for a bit, and look what happens.

    2. The climate will be even more of a women’s issue when electricity becomes sporadic or non-existent.
      Back to annual breeding, bashing washing on stones in dirty rivers and cooking foraged berries and grains over open fires.

  29. Just looking at the lock down in Lombardy, I expect that will happen here before long, I wonder what will our governments get up to while we are all trapped.

    1. 316981+ up ticks,
      Morning B3,
      Same as usual skulduggery / treachery, no change there, bet your last toilet roll on it.

  30. Morning all

    SIR – The Chief Medical Officer has said that schools will not be closed to limit the spread of coronavirus until “the last minute”, because of the disruption this would cause.

    Is it sensible to wait? We know that the virus spreads rapidly and the Government is expecting it to do so.

    At the beginning of the year there were just 40 cases in China. If they had known what was about to happen, would they have waited for the virus to spread before acting decisively? What is the point of having a “battle plan” of quarantine, closing public spaces, limiting travel and shutting universities and schools but not initiating it immediately? Advice on washing hands is hardly sufficient.

    Without decisive action now, we will have all the disruption but, in addition, there will be an overwhelmed health service and many people who are dying or seriously ill.

    Professor Greg Philo

    Glasgow University

    1. SIR – The official coronavirus advice is: “You may need to isolate yourself if you have travelled to an affected area, or have been in close contact with an infected person.” It is also stated that: “Spending 15 minutes within 2 m (6 ft) of someone with the virus, or having face-to-face contact, is judged to be a significant risk.”

      Given that the symptoms may not appear till some time after infection, how can I know if I have spent 15 minutes within 6 ft of someone with the virus when I visit a supermarket or travel by public transport? This advice is almost totally irrelevant unless I spend all my time at home.

      Mark St Giles

      Taunton, Somerset

  31. SIR – As a retired nurse, I am concerned by the obsessive use of hand sanitisers.

    I worked with an infection-control specialist nurse in the Eighties, when these products were first appearing. She believed they represented more of a threat than a solution to the problem of cross-infection, as they made staff complacent. Before the introduction of sanitisers, staff were trained to wash their hands thoroughly, paying close attention to the areas between the fingers and under the nails.

    When my wife was last in hospital, on a surgical ward, I witnessed staff quickly rubbing a little sanitiser on their hands between patients. I didn’t see one rub between the fingers or carefully around the nails.

    John Owen

    Gloucester

    SIR – In addition to trying to increase the numbers of GPs available to cope with coronavirus, some thought must be given to reducing the administrative burden on all doctors.

    Suspending the requirement for annual appraisals and stopping all CQC inspections should happen immediately. Patients also need to be aware that complaints generate a lot of work. Writing one is fine but – please – think twice before sending it.

    Dr Nick Summerton

    Brough, East Yorkshire

  32. 316981+ up ticks,
    LBC “nige” giving his all for freedom of speech, would “nige”, in my book a coxswain for the tory party, give the
    likes of Gerard Batten / Tommy Robinson a platform ?
    Baring in mind that “nige” comes across as an submissive, PC,Appeaser.

  33. The Doomgoblin has created Gretins and Gretards everywhere politicians pontificating about electric powered aircraft ffs

    “Typical lithium-ion batteries in use today have a maximum energy

    density of around 1,000,000 joules of energy per kilogram, and while

    newer research promises the possibility of higher densities, these are

    not available commercially. A million joules sounds like a lot. However,

    compare this with 43 million joules per kilogram for aviation fuel.

    Swapping the fuel tanks for a battery weighing 43 times as much isn’t a

    viable option – clearly there’s a significant storage problem to be

    solved before electricity can power large aircraft over long distances.”

    Not forgetting that planes lighten up when burning kerosene thus
    boosting range. Batteries remain as a dead weight from takeoff to
    landing.

    In becoming besotted with St Greta our political class have completely lost touch with reality.

    1. You could buy a long extension cord for the weight of batteries needed to power a transatlantic flight.

      Just string it up I the air and stretch it from London to New York!

      1. You still have the safety issue with Lithium batteries. Boeing had lots of trouble with them catching fire and had to encase them in a metal box

        I doubt that a battery powered planer is viable just because of the weight of the batteries and if you enclose them in metal it is even more weight plus it become a potential bomb

      2. If Edison had not bumped off Tesla we would now be able to transmit electricity through the ether, like mobile phone signals.

          1. As at the moment. What else might explain the prevalence of stupidity?

        2. We already can, it’s just not economically viable and really only suitable for small distances.

      3. They could use overhead wires, with pick-ups on the tops of the aircraft.

        A bit like the railways, but with taller pylons.

        1. How about windmills? I’m sure the planes will generate enough resistance to turn the blades.

      4. The other issue with batteries is the charging time. Low cost airline turn their planes around very fast. Having a plane hanging around for an hour charging is a problem. It may be as well you could not put passengers on the plane until the batteries are charges as there are potentially safety issue when charging. Not that great but they are there

        With planes you also need a fair amount of contingency in case of bad weather or the need to divert

      5. Small 1 or two seater light aircraft that just travel short distances are just about viable on battery power . You are though talking of a very short range of about 50 mils max

        1. They are experimenting with slightly larger electric planes in Vancouver. They hope to start a service ferrying hunters out to remote lakes.

          Good luck with that!

          1. But surely all those lakes will have re-charging points.

            ‘Afternoon, Richardl.

          2. Maybe they do but the wait for a bit of sunshine to fire up the solar panels to charge the recharging points could be a bit of a problem.

          5. With current battery technology they will struggle, Bigger plane more weight and more passengers is even more weight

      6. The other issue with batteries is the charging time. Low cost airline turn their planes around very fast. Having a plane hanging around for an hour charging is a problem. It may be as well you could not put passengers on the plane until the batteries are charges as there are potentially safety issue when charging. Not that great but they are there

        With planes you also need a fair amount of contingency in case of bad weather or the need to divert

      2. Boris has it in hand , He is proposing building a bridge to America. There will be drive through McDonalds every few hundred miles so you can take some refreshments and half way across you will switch from driving on the left to driving on the right and change timezones

      3. Weight is critical in the design of planes and so is space as you want to carry as many passengers as possible. , Batteries are both heavy and bulky. Another problem is the charging time. Low cost airlines turn their planes around incredibly fast, Having a plane stuck at the airport charging will add a lot to costs

      4. Imagine the protests at the suggestion of a 3rd catapult!
        That would be no laughing matter. 🤣🤣🤣

      2. The big problem is you still need batteries add on the solar panels and you are adding even more weigh and what impact the solar panels will have on the aero dynamics who knows and how many passenger you could carry who knows. Weight is critical with planes

        1. No, you don’t need batteries if your power source, in this case the Sun, is always available.

      3. Shouldn’t be a problem: scientists are already talking about solar sails the size of the state of Texas powering an interstellar space ship.

        Space.com

          2. A_A’s comment highlighted a problem with earthbound transport and solar energy – in A_A’s example solar electricity – as a comparison my comment was highlighting how scientists, involved in another problematic method of transport i.e. interstellar (interplanetary also) travel, were overcoming the shortcomings of chemical propulsion. A sort of, “necessity being the mother of invention,” statement. Perhaps I should have been more specific.

          3. Nor whilst taking off and landing and even when inb flight it will not to the aero dynamics a lot of good and there is a fair chance of them being ripped off

  34. SIR – What a lovely letter (March 1) from Fiona Burgess on her local in Hampshire. If ever she is up in this neck of the woods, she would enjoy a visit to “Nellies” pub in Beverley.

    There are coal fires in every room, and tiled floors. Dogs are welcome; mobile phones are not. And, of course, all transactions are in cash.

    Tim Gostelow

    Willerby, East Yorkshire

    1. Couldn’t agree more. It’s my current local; if anyone happens to be passing, do let me know!

  36. Civil Service hostility

    SIR – In the Eighties, Margaret Thatcher fought, under extreme pressure, against unions that resented an upstart prime minister waltzing in and stopping them from running the country.

    The Priti Patel saga of the past week indicates that the Civil Service – which has a similar sense of entitlement – is waging the same kind of battle against the current regime.

    Boris Johnson, like Mrs Thatcher, cannot afford to lose this war. He must stand by his Home Secretary.

    Tim Coles

    Carlton, Bedfordshire

    1. SIR – When I was the chairman of Priti Patel’s constituency association I always found her to be pleasant and easygoing. The only thing that could rile her was inefficiency.

      Tom Foster

      Kelvedon, Essex

      SIR – In a more gracious age civil servants used to sign off letters with “Your Obedient Servant”.

      Following Ms Patel’s spat with Sir Philip Rutnam, the Civil Service would do well to resume using this phraseology.

      Michael Lawrie

      Bridge of Weir, Renfrewshire

  37. 316981+ up ticks,
    Morning Each,
    How things have changed, some time ago it rained in London for eleven weeks but for one day,it continued day & night and shops had scant supplies plus another thing was quite visible was litter on the streets was picked up, everybody helping each other to do the necessary and we got by.
    What did help immensely was the fact we had a NO NONSENSE leader.
    Bombs it rained, & them there bombs seriously hurt & kill, guaranteed.

    2. Where we are staying, they had five inches of rain on Wednesday and Thursday. Surprisingly life was back to normal on Friday.

    1. If they’re zip tied together, when oneis hauled away the rest will be too.

      Cuff one to a car and put it in first. They’ll quickly wish they’d put some clothes on. Tarmac has a very high friction coefficient.

    5. If they’re worried about Global Warming/Climate Change/Emergency/Crisis – most of which seems to involve things getting warmer – why are the lot in the top photo wearing warm clothes?
      At least the Waterloo Bridge women are displaying …. um …. that it’s warm for a late winter in London.

    1. Klaatu barada nikto.
      The poster from the brilliant original not the pathetic remake

  42. An extract from John Redwood’s Diary this morning.

    When holding a ministerial post Ian Duncan Smith encountered obstructive civil service ‘advice’. If, as often mentioned, the top echelons of the civil service are still wedded to the EU and its style of managing the lives of people then there will have to be a cull of the ‘mandarin’ class if this Country is to move forward and prosper.

    …Sir Iain Duncan Smith gave a good paper to the Seminar on Friday about controlling our borders and doing more to promote better paid work for people already legally settled in the UK.

    He told us that when he was Work and Pensions Secretary he drew attention to the large numbers of people in the UK in entry level jobs who do not go on to receive training and promotion as we would like. He highlighted the way for example we have been importing people to be lorry drivers. It is a short course to convert a car licence into a truck permit. This qualification opens up better paid jobs for those who try it from having no formal qualifications. He asked his department to buy up training places and making them available to UK residents. They told him no-one would want to do it. He bought 100 places for a pilot and there was plenty of demand. His officials told him it would be wasted money as they would not stay the course. 85% successfully completed it. He proved that we can train our own lorry drivers at home.

    He then turned his mind to the shortage of nurses, where the UK has been raiding the health services of other, often poorer nations, to find us the nurses we need. It of course takes a lot longer to train a nurse. The same experience repeated.

    1. I am sure that the civil servants have deliberately made a bog up of Universal Credit so as to kill it off.
      Morning, Korky.

      1. Probably. Having all the benefits administered centrally makes sense. The old scheme meant several organisations were responsible for different benefits and there was little if any communication between them so it dd not work well. It created a lot of public sector jobs though

      2. ‘Morning, Anne, I’m sure a reduction of all benefits, across the board, would act as the biggest deterrent to illegal immigrants busting a gut to get here, accompanied by a mass exodus of those already here.

        Just dreaming…

      3. I thought it was “Six Jobs” Gideon Osborne who did that. He often used to extend his remit as Chancellor to do every other job there. It would have been his idea (not the Secretary of State’s) to extend the signing-on delay from three days to 12 weeks in order to save the £12 billion be pledged to cut from the welfare budget.

        I wonder is the mass sacking of the No.11 mandarins recently was Cummings tackling what has by now become fully established “Best Practice” in the Civil Service?

      4. My thoughts exactly as I remember several attempts at Social Security reform that went tits up because of misinterpretation of the rules.

        1. Deliberate; like the “mis-interpretation” of the rules for fitness to return to work.
          Pick a few cases and make sure they hit the headlines to discredit the whole scheme.

          1. Especially when you have friendly and receptive journalists ready to pick up on the story.

      5. Morning, Anne.

        He did encounter more than enough ‘problems’ that frustrated his plans. Looking at Patel’s situation and Sir Calamity’s record, civil service failures are probably a mix of deliberate obstruction and incompetence.

        1. Deliberate at the top: think Phil Ratman.
          Incompetence lower down; just filling in time until they collect their inflation proofed pensions.
          (I will never forget MB’s cousin; started working for the local council at age 17 and spent the whole of his working life moaning and going on about how much he looked forward to retirement. Strangely enough, we’ve not kept in touch.)

      1. The Laws say nothing about intention. They only refer to actions, not motives.

      2. It looks like he was trying to pull out of it once he realised the the attacker was already going down.
        When a player if running towards the corner flag they usually get squished from the side

    2. Absolutely, and the yellow card. You might be mistaken but it looked as if the Kiwi ref was trying to help Wales win. And the last try was from a forward pass. The lines person was ten metres behind play !!!!

        1. As I saw it the forward pass was at the very outset of the move. I did find it odd that the referee did not use the TMO. The replays picked up after the start of the move. (Sometimes I think the broadcasters are fairly haphazard with replays.)

      2. No. It was a rd card all day and every day. The yellow card was for cumulative penalties and Genge was unfortunate to be chosen, as he had only just come onto the pitch. The referee had given clear warning to England that the card was likely if the continued to infringe.

        1. And this by a rugby expert :-))

          “It just seems there’s no common sense applied in that situation” he added. “Clearly the guy is falling, there’s a good chop tackle and Manu is coming over the top to kill the tackle. He’s doing everything that he’s supposed to be doing and he gets red carded. Like, come on.”

          Jones has previously spoken out against a similar incident in August of last year, when New Zealand lock Scott Barrett was shown a red card for his tackle on Australia captain Michael Hooper in the Wallabies’ 47-26 victory, as the England coach labelled the red card issued by Jerome Garces “ridiculous” in scathing comments about World Rugby’s high-tackle laws.

          Jones was also scathing of O’Keeffe’s performance on the whole, claiming that the Kiwi was firmly on the side of Wales. “It was a good tough win (against) quality opposition, at the end we were 13 against 16 and it’s hard. We hung in there,” Jones said.
          “I thought it was a brilliant performance by the team, we had two guys who didn’t train until Wednesday, we had one guy who played 80 minutes for the first time for a long time so our resources were really tested. We got out enough in the second half, had the early setback but I thought our recovery from that emotionally was outstanding and we played a good tough hard game of rugby.”

          1. The Laws apply, not Jones’ opinion. I know about tackles. I played on the wing for ten years. Seldom got a pass but made a fair few tackles. Once I (yes, sweet little me) was penalised for a no arms tackle. (My rugby book which illustrated the shoulder charge tackle was written by the All Blacks captain – admittedly in 1926 – and I explained this to the ref, but he would have none of it.)

      3. Maybe he thought he had to avenge what England did to New Zealand at the last Rugby World Cup!

        1. Remember back in Sydney 2003 when England beat Australia with Johnny Wilkinson’s drop goal the French reff did everything in his power to try to let Australia win. Penalty after penalty.

    3. The sending off was for making a “no arms” tackle. This was in effect a shoulder charge and is dangerous play, and the correct sanction is a red card.
      Many are referring to it as a “high tabcke” but this is obfuscation.

  44. Rugby: Premiership weighs up five-yearly play-offs in ring-fencing compromise

    What a daft proposal. The gulf in standards between the top two divisions after five years would make it almost impossible for lower division teams to survive promotion.

    1. ‘Morning, Stormy, sadly, since turning professional, I fear Rugby, both Union and League is going the way of Wendyball and is no longer a game but a business with little or no regard to, “Play up, play up and play the game!”

      1. One of my best friends at UEA played No 8 for England and the British Lions and came on a couple of sailing holidays with me to Cornwall on my small boat.

        As well as a first class degree in economics he was a chartered accountant, had post-graduate degrees from Cambridge and the Sorbonne and wrote books about banking. The books he wrote about rugby were for charity as he did not want or need to make money out of his involvement in the sport and indeed it was strictly forbidden to do so.

        He also wrote poetry.

        He died of prostate cancer in his early 60’s. After his memorial service at Southwark Cathedral one of his team members gave an account of how a referee in a club match had awarded my friend’s team three points for a penalty which had not gone through the posts and so my friend told the referee that that was the case, the decision was overturned and his side lost the match by two points.

        Can you imagine this happening in the professional game? No wonder they have to have cameras everywhere in international games.

        1. As NTN says, rugby union is a business, just as I have said in various comments over the years. The CEO of the SRU was paid £900k last year. The overall financial position of the SRU is rocky. There are £33m of debentures to be redeemed soonish. As far as I recall the income of the SRU is around £60m, of which £2m is paid to the 4 Board members including the CEO. The board is keen to maximise income, hence the 6N will soon be behind a paywall.
          Any notions of sportsmanship lie far away in a Corinthian past. The actions of your friend were not unique, it was what we expected. A member of our club was an outstanding player and played for the district but never was awarded a cap. The reason given was that he was “not aggressive enough” by which was meant that he wouldn’t gratuitously assault opponents, as was expected of a prop.

          1. Snooker looks like it’s the only remaining ‘gentlemans’ game as players seem to acknowledge their foul shots even when the ref doesn’t see them. That’s sportsmanship!

  45. All this Eco warrior stuff is all very hideously white and middle class for some reason.

  46. A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father

    “Hey Dad, what’s the difference between ‘theoretically’ & ‘realistically’?”

    His Dad thinks for a while & then says;
    “Right-o son……go & ask your mother if she’d sleep with David Beckham for a million quid.”

    The boy trots off and comes back saying “Dad, dad, she said she would!

    She would sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds.”

    “OK son,” says his dad. “Now go & ask your sister the same question.”

    The boy toddles off, & comes back saying “Dad, dad, she said she would too!”

    So then his dad says “Right, son, now go & ask your elder brother if he’d sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds.”

    The son comes back excitedly saying “Dad! Dad! He said he would too!”

    “Well there you have it, son,” said his dad.

    Theoretically we could be sitting on three million quid.

    Realistically we’re living with two tarts & a poof.”

  47. In a school maths test the question was ……..
    Bob has 36 Chocolate bars and eats 29 what does Bob have now ?
    What is the answer ?
    One astute student wrote……..
    Bob now has Diabetes.

      1. Perhaps. Because of its high fat content, chocolate is thought to be relatively harmless compared with e.g. boiled sweets.

        1. So what you are saying, as a qualified dentist, is that we can eat as much chocolate as we like…

          2. Peddy, you are the Professor who got the upper hand over Cathy Newman in an interview and I claim my five bob postal order.

            :-))

        2. So what you are saying, as a qualified dentist, is that we can eat as much chocolate as we like…

        3. Chocolate is relatively harmless to teeth , things like boiled sweets and toffees can do the damage as they can adhere to the teeth and between them

          1. Can you imagine what I did for a living before I retired? Daemlicher Trottel.

    1. As little Johnny Bercow used to say: “I couldn’t give a flying flamingo”.

      3. A grizzly bear and a rabbit were squatting alongside each other in a wood (where else?) having a dump.

        The bear said to the rabbit: “Do you find that shit sticks to your fur?”

        The rabbit replied, “Oh yeah! Tell me about it.”

        So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his arse with it.

        1. Or in the UK, the offside rear wing. Bit of filler and a blowover, it’ll be fine.

          1. We are in the UK & I’m telling you the dent is in the near side, but he’s tackling it from the off side so he can push it out.

          2. Ah, I see. Sense of humour failure, it must be the coronavirus taking hold following my brief burst of gardening activity. The hysteria does get a bit wearing.

    2. As I said recently on one of the Telegraph articles that actually allowed comments, My Dad’s generation left school at 14. I could have left school at 15 as most of my compatriots did.
      That meant that the bulk of adolescents were finished with school and in the world of work, mixing with and learning to be accepted by older people.
      The result of the current idea of school to 18 with so many being directed into further & higher education is that immature behaviours that, once at work would have been knocked out of earlier generations, are now so ingrained by the time youngsters eventually finish their education and start looking for work.

      1. A very good point, Bob. In addition, most young men until the early 60’s spent two years National Service which meant that immature behaviour was soon a very painful enterprise. I am strongly of the view that National Service (at least as we knew it) should not be re-introduced but it certainly had some benefits to society. Like you (I think, but please correct me if I am wrong), I joined the Armed Forces as a junior entrant at age 16 and have never regretted it nor the training for life that it gave me.

        1. I will be honest, at Chepstow I was a square peg in a round hole, but yes, I agree that I do not regret it.

    1. Postal votes for everybody is the answer. Two each for Muslim Labour Party supporters.

        1. Your name reminds me of one of the ‘dingbats’ in last night’s quiz:
          B
          O
          B

          6. Nope.
            As I’m feeling charitable, I’ll give you the answer.
            “Bob up and down.”

  52. Article by Janet Daley:

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/03/07/dont-let-small-businesses-bear-brunt-coronavirus-chancellor/

    “Don’t let small businesses bear the brunt of coronavirus, Chancellor

    Rishi Sunak must resist temptation to ‘wait and see’ and end the punitive measures crippling the UK

    If you think you might be suffering from the new viral pestilence, you are under official instructions to self-isolate. That means that you must not go to work. But don’t worry, the Government has ordered that you will be paid sick leave from the first day of your enforced absence, rather than having to wait the usual three days. Which is very decent of it.

    Except that it won’t be the Government that is paying you, of course. It will be your employer – even if you work for a small business that is already in jeopardy from the economic slowdown that has been caused by the virus itself or by the panic that it has rather bewilderingly engendered.

    So the Government has performed quite a neat trick: it has made itself look benevolent and conscientious at no cost to itself, while throwing the burden of this public responsibility on to businesses that are likely to be in danger of collapse.

    (Of course, if the pestilence should peter out in the UK, the Government will win again. Either the public will conclude that they took exactly the right measures to deal with it, or that this was just a media frenzy which official advice did not warrant.)

    But the damage to small businesses is as nothing to the impossible dilemma presented to those who are self-employed, for whom there is no such thing as paid sick leave: for them, the injunction to “self-isolate” is simply an invitation to starve.

    This brings us to what should have been the show-stopping event of the coming week. The first Budget from Boris Johnson’s Government was going to be a serious plan (wasn’t it?), a systematic outline of where his Government was going: it would make clear the major objectives of his economic policy. At last, we would get some detail to fill out his promise to “level up” the neglected parts of the country, which is what put him in Downing Street.

    Which sectors would be favoured? What sort of infrastructure projects would be added to the list that began with the contentious HS2 commitment? Would there be tax cuts to encourage growth, or new taxes inspired by the green agenda? This would be the moment of truth where the inspirational rhetoric ended and the genuine measures began. And then along came the coronavirus, which put a stop to politics as we know it.

    In his interview with The Sunday Telegraph today, Rishi Sunak promises that the Treasury “might look at some targeted options to help ease the strain on businesses’ cash flows”. This at least is a positive sign, particularly since the Chancellor could probably get away with a wait‑and‑see holding operation (couldn’t he?) in which everything is stalled until we find out what sort of state the economy is in after this epidemic runs its course.

    In fact, such a nothing‑much sort of Budget would be an unforgivable cop-out. When the global economy is almost certainly heading for (at least temporary) recession and the UK is facing a daunting (maybe exciting but certainly uncertain) future outside of the EU, this is no time to do nothing.

    The sectors that are facing the most immediate difficulties from the coronavirus crisis need help. Which is to say, they need the government to stop threatening them with punitive burdens – and this Budget, to be released at the peak moment of national concern is the time to do it. Small businesses which have to endure the absence of even a few staff on sick pay, and sole traders who rely on their own activity to generate income may well not survive if the Treasury does not relent on some of the more blood-curdling measures it has devised to persecute them.

    It is not practicable for the government to hand out cash compensation to all: it would be impossible to judge how much was appropriate or how it might fairly be distributed. But what it can do as a matter of urgency is call off the Treasury hyenas who regard self-employment as a legalised tax dodge and will stop at nothing to discourage it.

    What had been promised for the Chancellor’s statement on Wednesday was a whole tranche of policies designed to remove what the Treasury calls “loopholes”: that is, measures which went some way to offset the terrifying risks which the most self-reliant people in the economy – entrepreneurs and those who work alone – are prepared to accept.

    First, there was the relief that entitled small business owners to a lower rate of capital gains tax when they sold their businesses which was the only way many of these individuals could finance their retirement. That was going to be abolished. Then the infamous IR35 rule which forces freelancers working under contract to be taxed as if they were employees (but without most of the benefits of full time employment) was to be extended to the private sector.

    And what was easily the most gratuitous form of torment to be inflicted on small businesses and self-employed individuals – the Making Tax Digital system for Vat payments – was not, it seemed, up for reconsideration. All this, in spite of the fact that both the Association of Tax Technicians and the Chartered Institute of Taxation had declared it to be, virtually in so many words, worse than useless: far more expensive than anyone had been warned to expect, and leading to more, rather than fewer, errors in Vat reporting.

    (How many tradesmen were driven into the black economy by fear of being caught up in this hopelessly daunting new digital Vat system – and how much revenue was lost as a result? Sometimes the Treasury’s clever plots can be counterproductive.)

    The people most likely to be taken down by the economic consequences of the present emergency are precisely those that the country – and the government – most need to flourish, not just in the immediate aftermath of a possible epidemic, but in the post-Brexit decade. The start-up merchants, the daring innovators, the artists and craftsmen who work in Britain’s great creative industries, and the hard-working tradesmen: these are the risk-taking, productive, self-reliant individuals who will make the country’s future. They need a break, and they need it now more than ever.”

    1. But the damage to small businesses is as nothing to the impossible dilemma presented to those who are self-employed, for whom there is no such thing as paid sick leave: for them, the injunction to “self-isolate” is simply an invitation to starve.

      I think Rastus would agree with that!

      1. Well there is sick pay for the self employed should they choose to pay into a scheme. If they do not why should they expect sick pay ?

        1. My orthopaedic surgeon once said to me that you will be amazed how much sooner self employed people recover from their respective illnesses.

        2. You have a thing about self-employment. Unfortunately you don’t know a lot about it and your logic flow is fallible.

          2. Who said we look for benefits, we look to work, unlike all the benefit scroungers we are importing by the millions.

        3. Come on Bill. You really must work harder to put all self-employed people out of business and make it as impossible as possible to strangle initiative and kill off new businesses before the are even born!.

        4. Well there is sick pay for the self employed should they choose to pay into a scheme. If they do not why should they expect sick pay ?

          A Morton’s Fork.

          Morton was Lord Chancellor under Henry VII. He raised taxation funds for his king by holding that someone living modestly must be saving money and, therefore, could afford taxes, whereas someone living extravagantly obviously was rich and, therefore, could afford taxes as well.

          1. That was my first introduction to such thinking. We had a history teacher who was very good at explaining historical changes and different perspectives.

    2. I understand that they are also going to deliver my groceries to my door, so that will be handy.

    3. ‘Sometimes [the treasury’s clever plots…]’

      Sometimes? The war queen calls HMRC Her Majesty’s Ridiculous Clowns.

    4. “The start-up merchants, the daring innovators, the artists and craftsmen who work in Britain’s great creative industries, and the hard-working tradesmen: these are the risk-taking, productive, self-reliant individuals who will make the country’s future. They need a break, and they need it now more than ever.”

      These are the very people that Bill Jackson wants to punish with higher taxes and insurance contributions!

    5. … what it can do as a matter of urgency is call off the Treasury hyenas who regard self-employment as a legalised tax dodge and will stop at nothing to discourage it.
      This always assumes that Government is in charge at the Treasury. Recent events at the HO would suggest otherwise.

      1. Unfortunately self employment i frequently a tax dodge in the UK. A common scheme was they would pay themselves up to the personal tax allowance so they pay no income tax. They then take additional amounts as dividends which avoids NI and a lot of tax. In some cases they also take directors loans again no tax

        1. All those so-called tax doges are only exploited because the taxation rules allow it – probably so that many in government have loopholes through which they may enrich themselves from all the dosh paid by those trapped in the PAYE scam.

          Can you wonder that those with the wit to do so, will go sef-employed and take advantage of the inefficiency of HMRC and its incompetent collectors – I wonder how many of those are self-employed in the same way that the BBC wants only ‘self-employed’?

        3. Bill I can assure you as a long term soul trader self employed person, there aren’t enough tax dodges to make a difference.
          Imagine not getting any sick pay, no holiday pay, a day off work is a net loss.
          And I can assure you that most self employed people don’t suffer from all those minor illness and now trending ‘mental health issues’ that abound today.
          And the long run even if a selfie has saved a bit in an annuity I can assure you the tax man digs in deeply on any withdrawal.

          1. Well if you are not paying in for holidays or sick pay why should you expect to get those benefits ?

          2. I have a son, who, last year, was undergoing treatment for hairy cell leukaemia.
            Theoretically, he was an employee of his company, but as he was the managing director, he couldn’t take time off sick until the side effects made a few days in bed unavoidable.
            For a fortnight, he worked a full day and then went to hospital for his treatment in the late afternoon.
            I am getting thoroughly sick of the constant knocks aimed at the self-employed and those running their own businesses.

          3. AS he presumably choice not to pay into a sick pay scheme it was his choice though

          4. Do you have any idea of what is involved in running a small business?
            It’s not like being the head of Mega Bank UK.

          6. It’s not a matter of sick pay.
            It’s matter of keeping a business running so others don’t lose their jobs.

          7. I had some ‘mates’ in the local pub quiz team company cars train travel paid for parking food allowances etc etc.
            Now idea of what being self employed was about.
            But had certainly some unattached ideas.
            Incidentally all happly retired now with final salary pensions.
            Which means the end user of the company product pays for. The public.
            I know another person who took ‘early retirement’ (they got rid of him) 30 years ago and has been receiving about one thousand pounds a week since the day he left work.
            Anyone wondering why their insurance premiums rise every year ?

          8. Really !
            The real problem with this country is the black economy. But our wealthy stupid political classes are too dim to bother to look into it. Or don’t seem to give a shonet. They’re all right jack.
            Many millions are removed from our economy every year.
            It’s one of the reasons that the largest euro note was removed from circulation.
            An empty fag packet of large notes would pay for a house in Romania.
            Meanwhile back on the UK farm as it were…….

          9. I worked with a company which did business in Germany. The owner of the German business took us out for a meal. He paid from a wad of 500€ notes.
            A lot of business in Germany was cash based in the 90s (I don’t know about now) far more than in the UK.

          10. Part of the problem there is down to our over complex tax and benefits systems. We really need to start from scratch as the currents systems have been tinkered about with for centuries and are incredibly complex and each year the new budget makes them even more complex

          11. First line of my first comment. Bill.
            Everything they come into contact with………
            If the same pension rights were set for everyone I’d have no problem with it.
            I use to earn more in a day in the early 90s than I get now for my weekly pension.
            After paying in for a total of 53 years of mainly hard physical work.

          12. The governments attempt at simplifying the pension schemed only made it more complex and more unfair than it was to start with

            How can it be right that someone with say 35 years NI gets the same pension as someone with say 55 years ?

          13. What also bothers is why the perpetual welfare loafer gets the same pension as someone who has worked all their lives.

            Some people exist solely on welfare their entire lives, seeing having children as a means to get a bigger house – why must the worker fund their pension?

          14. Bill read my comment to Elsie Blood axe.
            I worked extremely hard to no particular avail we have three sons and I deliberately steered them away from Construction it might pay well when there’s a demand but your on your own when there’s not. And injuries …..get over it ! resultant damage in later life get on the waiting list.
            Politicians and civil servants etc, immediate treatment on private health schemes, they probably put it down to their claimable expenses.

          18. Yes and if you choose to draw money from your own company whilst sick or on holiday you would pay it to yourself as a dividend which attracts tax.

          21. Shall I tell you what happened ? …..
            Well I spent a total of 6 years out of the UK late 60s and late 70s. In the early 90s I had a letter from dept Work and pensions telling me that in order to receive a full pension when I retired I had to have paid in for a minimum of 40 years. I paid the difference of the missing six years. It was quite a lot of money. Within around 5-6 years of paying they changed the qualifying period to 30 years. When you are self employed some of you gross income is taken to subsidise the pension national pot. I always used a certified accountant and paid my dues.
            Prior to all this, not long after my wife and small son returned from Oz we lived with the in-laws sharing expenses for two years, because we were almost broke. I worked fitting kitchens sometimes traveling 80 miles in a day. We saved as much as we could in a building society account And out of the blue I had a letter from the Tax office saying they suspected me of working for cash in hand. Which was absolutely not true. I went to tribunal, in front of snobby supercilious AHs, it was the equivalent of a ducking stool. They tax our hard earned savings total @ around 18% in one fowl/foul swoop.

        4. You are completely ignoring the fact that their company (which they own) pays corporation tax on profits before dividends are paid out. I know because that’s exactly my situation and although I pay less tax overall, the savings are small.

          2. No, you pay income tax at normal rates and thresholds, no different than being an employee.

        5. So be it. If taxes were simpler and lower people wouldn’t bother. As it is, when you work a 16 hour day on site, crawling around in ducts, getting sawdust and splinters and see 60% of it spanked on to some useless cretinous Left vice chancellor or overpaid bureaucrat who can’t manage a force backed guaranteed income you do rather think ‘why should I?’

        6. That’s how directors of limited companies pay themselves. Self-employment is different. What you are describing is PAYE salaried employee.

    6. All companies should be required to pay sick pay. For those on zero our contract the amount they get should be based on the average hours they worked in the previous quarter. For the self employed they should be required to pay into a sick pay scheme

      2. There should not be any zero hours contracts. They are a cynical manipulation of those who seek work.

        1. They’re a response to the minimum wage. Some roles simply are not worth £8 an hour and so rather than their be unemployed the government created a flexible method for companies to take them on as and when they needed them.

          It’s comical seeing the same Lefties wailing about wanting to help the poor demanding that both the minimum wage go up and zero hours contracts be abolished. They don’t seem to understand the end result of that would be unemployment of the poorest – permanently.

          2. Less would be bought, less sold, less made, demand would drop creating unemployment.

            That very situation is being carried out due to sky high business rates. It’s a race to the bottom.

          4. Except that theory has proven false all over the world. Unemployment went down with the introduction of the NMW when it was forecast by people backing your theory to create a huge amount of unemployment.

    7. Morning all.
      Here we go again !
      I have said many times before everything political classes come into contact with they eff up.
      If the ordinary hard working person on the street were allowed to get away with the expenses and pension rackets politians lords and the rich, famouse and privileged get away with. Our whole society would be entirely different. But I’m not sure if this would be a good idea.
      The coffers would soon be emptied.

    8. I liked this comment

      David Hattersley 8 Mar 2020 6:22AM

      We have to stop all this crazy foreign aid. £30 billion a year (the same amount as collected in Business Rates as it happens). This money should be used to set up a Homeland Insurance Fund to help SMEs ride the changes our country is going through. The effects of flooding. An evolving retail landscape. And combating the economic effect of viruses in the work place. It has to be practical and delivered quickly. No dithering. It is beyond comprehension that we are sending annual handouts to countries like China (the cause of all this Covid-19 madness). Charity begins at home.

      1. The quandary we have is the government is not collecting enough money to pay for the service etc

        The options are Put up taxes

        Cut Services

        A Mixture of the above

        The first action would in my view to cut wasteful spending but governments are not keen on that

        Some wasteful spending in my view would be :-

        HS2

        Overseas Aid

        NHS providing free treatment to those not entitled to it

        Paying benefits and providing social housing to new arrivals to the UK

        1. The house of effing lords costs our tax payers more than the annual income of Malta.

      2. I loathe foreign aid; transferring money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
        But I understand the actual sum is about £14 billion.

        1. I don’t think that government worry about the minor difference of a few squillion, we look so virtuous, don’t we?

          What a shining example to the rest of the world and, of course, we’re making up for being such awful colonisers of the World’s largest empire (that many others are trying to emulate) who suppressed the local population and raided their economies – making them very rich in the process.

          1. And we committed such heinous acts as stopping the burning of widows on their husbands’ funeral pyres and religious nuts strangling travellers as a sacrifice to the gods.
            Plus banning cannibalism. Bringing in the rule of law, democracy and clamping down on slave trading and slavery itself.
            We were so judgemental and insensitive to cultural norms.

          2. Yep. Not to mention setting up industries, improving agriculture, introducing sports that don’t hardly kill anyone.

        2. With the state spending over £2bn a day it is ‘only’ 7 days government spend. However, the state is also borrowing a day and a half’s money of that amount, indebting tax payers.

    3. Table of confirmed cases of COVID-19 in England

      Upper Tier Local Authority Number of confirmed cases

      Barking and Dagenham 0
      Barnet 4
      Barnsley 2
      Bath and North East Somerset 0
      Bedford 0
      Bexley 0
      Birmingham 1
      Blackburn with Darwen 0
      Blackpool 0
      Bolton 2
      Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole 2
      Bracknell Forest 2
      Bradford 1
      Brent 3
      Brighton and Hove 7
      Bristol, City of 2
      Bromley 1
      Buckinghamshire 1
      Bury 3
      Calderdale 0
      Cambridgeshire 0
      Camden 2
      Central Bedfordshire 0
      Cheshire East 0
      Cheshire West and Chester 0
      Cornwall 3
      County Durham 0
      Coventry 3
      Croydon 0
      Cumbria 5
      Darlington 0
      Derby 0
      Derbyshire 4
      Devon 12
      Doncaster 0
      Dorset 0
      Dudley 0
      Ealing 5
      East Riding of Yorkshire 0
      East Sussex 0
      Enfield 0
      Essex 5
      Gateshead 0
      Gloucestershire 3
      Greenwich 0
      Hackney 2
      Halton 0
      Hammersmith and Fulham 2
      Hampshire 8
      Haringey 0
      Harrow 1
      Hartlepool 0
      Havering 0
      Herefordshire, County of 0
      Hertfordshire 13
      Hillingdon 1
      Hounslow 3
      Isle of Wight 1
      Islington 0
      Kensington and Chelsea 8
      Kent 4
      Kingston upon Hull, City of 1
      Kingston upon Thames 1
      Kirklees 0
      Knowsley 0
      Lambeth 3
      Lancashire 4
      Leeds 3
      Leicester 0
      Leicestershire 1
      Lewisham 3
      Lincolnshire 1
      Liverpool 4
      Luton 2
      Manchester 5
      Medway 2
      Merton 1
      Middlesbrough 0
      Milton Keynes 1
      Newcastle upon Tyne 3
      Newham 0
      Norfolk 0
      North East Lincolnshire 0
      North Lincolnshire 0
      North Somerset 0
      North Tyneside 1
      North Yorkshire 0
      Northamptonshire 4
      Northumberland 0
      Nottingham 2
      Nottinghamshire 3
      Oldham 2
      Oxfordshire 5
      Peterborough 1
      Plymouth 0
      Portsmouth 0
      Reading 0
      Redbridge 1
      Redcar and Cleveland 0
      Richmond upon Thames 0
      Rochdale 0
      Rotherham 0
      Rutland 0
      Salford 0
      Sandwell 0
      Sefton 0
      Sheffield 0
      Shropshire 0
      Slough 0
      Solihull 0
      Somerset 2
      South Gloucestershire 0
      South Tyneside 0
      Southampton 0
      Southend-on-Sea 1
      Southwark 3
      St. Helens 0
      Staffordshire 4
      Stockport 0
      Stockton-on-Tees 0
      Stoke-on-Trent 0
      Suffolk 0
      Sunderland 0
      Surrey 5
      Sutton 0
      Swindon 2
      Tameside 1
      Telford and Wrekin 0
      Thurrock 0
      Torbay 6
      Tower Hamlets 1
      Trafford 4
      Wakefield 0
      Walsall 0
      Waltham Forest 0
      Wandsworth 3
      Warrington 0
      Warwickshire 3
      West Berkshire 0
      West Sussex 3
      Westminster 3
      Wigan 3
      Wiltshire 3
      Windsor and Maidenhead 0
      Wirral 1
      Wokingham 3
      Wolverhampton 0
      Worcestershire 0
      York 3
      Awaiting confirmation 20

      1. Are you going to keep us up-to-date with all the deaths? Makes a change from stabbings.

          2. The Highest incidences as a percentage of the population in those areas, Interestingly coming top is Kensington & Chelsea, It could be a lot of rich people live there and they do lot of travelling, next one down is Brighton & Hove not sure why it should be so high there. A lot of luvies live there so that may partially explain it

            Hertfordshire 13 1,154,766 0.0011%
            Devon 12 1,159,832 0.0010%
            Hampshire 8 1,800,511 0.0004%
            Kensington and Chelsea 8 159,147 0.0050%
            Brighton and Hove 7 474,485 0.0015%
            Torbay 6 65,245 0.0092%
            Cumbria 5 497,874 0.0010%
            Ealing 5 1,773,154 0.0003%
            Essex 5 1,432,000 0.0003%
            Manchester 5 530,292 0.0009%
            Oxfordshire 5 672,516 0.0007%
            Surrey 5 1,161,256 0.0004%

          3. Torbay is top percentage wise with .0092%. But a very small population according to the numbers shown.

  55. Well, well:

    A senior civil servant has launched an attack on Sir Philip Rutnam, the Home Office’s former top official, for “declaring war” on Priti Patel, accusing him of having “undermined the integrity” of his profession.

    In an interview with The Telegraph, the mandarin said they had witnessed officials openly undermining Ms Patel in meetings, having apparently “disagreed with what she was trying to do”.

    The official witnessed the minister becoming “frustrated” but said they never witnessed “bullying”. The senior Whitehall figure, who has served under both Labour and Conservative governments, said the “normal process” in Whitehall would have seen Sir Philip take a new role if he and Ms Patel could not work together.

    Speaking on condition of anonymity, the official said: “He should have been saying, ‘you’re the democratically elected Home Secretary and it’s me who’s got to go.’ I think it sets a dangerous precedent – senior civil servants trying to take down a democratically elected minister. Even if her behaviour was bad you just do not do this.”

    The extraordinary intervention from a serving mandarin comes after Sir Philip resigned last weekend with a broadside against Ms Patel, alleging “shouting and swearing, belittling people, making unreasonable and repeated demands”.

    Sir Philip has started legal proceedings against the Government.

    The official said: “I was astounded at how Philip has presented this. For me it just crossed so many lines for senior civil servants.

    “When a new minister comes in you’re building a new relationship. Sometimes those relationships work, sometimes they don’t. Convention is that if they don’t you simply accept that as the senior civil servant you move to a different part of the civil service.”

    The mandarin also criticised Sir Mark Sedwill, the Cabinet Secretary, for apparently failing to resolve the dispute.

    In his statement Sir Philip revealed that Sir Mark had, “on behalf of the Prime Minister”, asked him to “effect a reconciliation” with Ms Patel.

    In the past week Ms Patel has faced claims that she bullied staff at the Department for International Development as well as at the Home Office and during her time as a work and pensions minister.

    But the mandarin, who has worked with Ms Patel during her time in Cabinet, said: “I got the sense in … meetings that she was facing opposition from her officials, who disagreed with what she was trying to do. I found it extraordinary that in a meeting with another department her officials were trying to ‘correct’ her openly.

    “I would have had the conversation afterwards. I wouldn’t have undermined my secretary of state in front of another department’s officials. I saw her get frustrated in meetings. I don’t think it was bullying – it was frank and direct.”

    The official said they had been motivated to speak out as they felt the integrity of the senior civil service was at stake. The mandarin added it appeared Sir Philip “therefore has declared war on his boss”.

    They said: “There is not a lot of support among the senior civil servants I speak to for how he has handled it. He presented it as the noble thing but it was exactly the opposite.”

    The official added that the top tier of the civil service had been “slow to recognise that this is a very different type of administration”, with “a large majority – a very clear mandate from the people”.

    They added: “I don’t think a lot of senior civil servants have understood the scale of change.”

    Representatives of Sir Philip were contacted for comment.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/03/07/sir-philip-rutnam-declared-war-priti-patel-says-senior-civil/

    1. I find it highly ironic that Putnam in his BBc speech (against CS rules, BTW), claimed there was an ‘orchestrated plot’ against him, yet here we seem to have the exact opposite. His Employment Tribunal should be very interesting – assuming he still goes ahead with it.

    2. At a much lower level. we used to do the same thing on the wards.
      Occasionally, there would be a patient who irritated the hell out of you. It wasn’t always a logical reaction, but something just raised your hackles. However much you tried not to take it personally, you knew you would not do your best for that patient.
      In that situation, another nurse would deal with that particular person and in exchange, you would take care of one that perhaps clashed with the other nurse.
      It is better to side step such situations rather than let them have a deleterious effect on both participants.

    3. The civil service is the opposition in residence. They see themselves as running the country wher really they’re there to carry out the public will.

      By Rutnam refusing to do as the Minister has asked surely he is actively and intentionally not doing his job?

      1. In the 1980s, I was an activist with the SDP.

        I am actually quite sympathetic to independents running things, and it is often a good thing for party politics to infest politics as little as possible. I feel that particularly strongly when it comes to national institutions such as the monarchy, the military, the church, the judiciary and the House of Lords.

        However, for the 1987 local elections, we had to put the case against independents running the council. It is ironic that in 2019, the Independents took control of the council alongside the Liberal Democrats. The argument we used was that without party control of the agenda and over policy, this would be decided by the officers, who were not subject to election and could use their superior knowledge of procedure against the wishes of the public, where there was a conflict.

        The last time there was an overall majority in Westminster was after the 2005 election, when the unpopular Blair Government got in again mostly because the Opposition were not in a fit state to take on Government. Therefore over 14 years, with the parties unreliably capable of setting the agenda, the Civil Service took over. This came to a head during the anarchy of last year, when the Opposition controlled the parliamentary agenda and the Supreme Court, but were unwilling to govern. Only the Civil Servants could keep things running under such circumstances, and they codified and took for granted political control over the agenda, reducing Parliament to a talking shop. This of course has been going on with the EU for decades.

        The General Election in December 2019 changed everything. Civil Servants are therefore having to adjust to political control being taken back by the governing party in Parliament and they don’t like it.

        1. Fire them all, every last sad sack. Start again, with max 1/10 of the headcount. Fit the workload to the numbers rather than the other way around. That will force them to do only what’s important.
          Nobody to have a more than 5-year contract.
          Pay not to exceed the PM for their Head; no knighthoods or similar bullshit for doing their jobs. No external employment whilst a snivel serpent. Defined contribution pension, like the rest of us.
          Contractually obliged to do what is instructed by Minister, as long as it is legal.

        2. The last time there was an overall majority in Westminster was after the 2005 election…

          In 2015, Cameron won a majority of 20 that he probably didn’t expect.

    3. 316981+ up ticks,
      Evening Rik,
      Old stock,I don’t mean the rolls I mean the gran.

    1. That’s all OK. They don’t get called fuzzy-wuzzies for no reason.

      “Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear,
      Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
      So Fuzzy Wuzzy wuzn’t
      Fuzzy, wuz he?”

      1. We’ve fought with many men acrost the seas,
        An’ some of ’em was brave an’ some was not:
        The Paythan an’ the Zulu an’ Burmese;
        But the Fuzzy was the finest o’ the lot.
        We never got a ha’porth’s change of ‘im:
        ‘E squatted in the scrub an’ ‘ocked our ‘orses,
        ‘E cut our sentries up at Suakim,
        An’ ‘e played the cat an’ banjo with our forces.
        So ‘ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your ‘ome in the Soudan;
        You’re a pore benighted ‘eathen but a first-class fightin’ man;
        We gives you your certificate, an’ if you want it signed
        We’ll come an’ ‘ave a romp with you whenever you’re inclined.
        https://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/fuzzy_wuzzy.html

    4. Send ’em down to block London Bridges.

      Sad Dick Kunt will ensure their safety.

  59. Coronavirus won’t end globalisation, but change it hugely for the better. Will Hutton. 8 March 2020.

    An unregulated world can be blamed for its spread, but collective action based on evidence could be the best way to stop it

    So there would be no diseases in a regulated world? This is really creepy. I’ve always known that Hutton is a closet Marxist but this is coming out with a vengeance. It is Marxism beyond doctrine and elevated to the divine. In his view the deaths from coronavirus would be a price worth paying! In this communist Utopia there would be no ills or injustice. All would be perfect and Big Brother Hutton and his pals would be there to make sure!

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/mar/08/the-coronavirus-outbreak-shows-us-that-no-one-can-take-on-this-enemy-alone

    2. Of course there still would be but you would have much better control which will help to stop it spreading

    3. Public health has strong “public goods” characteristics (as opposed to most health activities) and dealing with viruses a case where free markets fail. It thus tends to encourage lefties like Hutton – we should be doubly vigilant that they don’t secure further extensions in regulations/control over private activities.

    4. It’s Will Hutton. His gas has been at a peep for some time. I don’t think that anyone ever liked anything he said.

    5. He’s always been a bit potty though. For the Left all calamity is a possible vehicle for their mania.

    4. I note that that cartoon is over 13 years old. I wonder is such lampooning of Islamic males is still allowed as most Islamic countries seem to be extremely hostile these days to anything that seems to criticise old traditions.

    5. Until we went to Russia in March, 1998, I’d never heard of International Women’s Day.

      1. For the first few decades of my life, I was blissfully unaware that my birthday had been hijacked. IWD remained under my radar until sometime in the Noughties.

    1. I read that all the fuss about her bullying was brought about because she discovered or itv was brought to her notice that vital paperwork possibly vital evidence had been removed from records in the Rochdale child rape gangs cases.
      Hence the resignation of the civil servant.
      The MCB were invited to get involved in commenting on the bullying allegations.
      There’s a tie in there is think.

    2. If it goes to a tribunal (my guess is it will be settled on the quiet), and Rutnam is shown to be incompetent, he’ll wish he’d taken the payoff and gone quietly.

  63. 316981+ up ticks,
    We as a Country had had it far worse physically / mentally & battled through, indigenous peoples ALL on the same side working at protecting a country of democratic decency.
    The indigenous 20 year old’s were in the main overseas and many were overland in the skies fighting a war of no mercy with many not seeing 21.
    The politico’s & supporting cast of fools the last two decades have trashed their efforts,totally.

    8th September onwards 56 of the following 57 days it rained 500 pounders on London, we survived & come through.
    No one of a foreign nature with evil intentions against
    GB circulated very long.

  64. Have any of you had problems making a Visa debit card payment this weekend?

    1. Yes, William.

      I have been able to, personally, make payments but any
      on-line payment is declined

      1. Thanks. Not just me, then! I couldn’t find any news reports of problems.

        Northampton railway station yesterday: PIN rejected. W’boro’ Sainsbury’s today: couldn’t even enter PIN. Cash withdrawal OK.

        1. I am only having problems with on-line purchases,
          I have been able to pay by card at W, Tesco and
          withdraw cash from there.
          …..Nationwide.

        2. And while you’re at it, your account number, sort code and pin?. Asking for a Nigerian friend.

  66. Think i’m going senile. When i checked my premium bonds i thought i had won £75. It turns out i was early and checked last months win. In fact this month i won £150. :o)

          2. I was born and brought up about half a mile from there. Brings back memories of when Zetters Pools were in Clerkenwell Road almost opposite Booth’s gin distillery. I worked for Gordon’s in Goswell Road, just around the corner. 58 years ago, that was.

          3. With the current state of world health perhaps their ‘Immunity’ cocktail would be the best choice.

          5. I think i will stick to the Vodka Martini seeing as another Nottler friend will be buying them all. :o)

      1. I do have the max. Over the last 10 years it averages 10 out of 12 months have been winners.

      1. Dry or sweet, sweetie?

        Have you considered meeting other Nottlers, as some close friendships have developed? You could always bring your tennis racquet along to bash them with if you didn’t like them. :o)

          1. I understand that. If it will take more time by car or rail i just fly off to another country.

            What would you consider to be a reasonable journey to have a meet up for a proper lunch?

            For me one hour max. My chauffeur tends to get a bit twitchy after that.

  69. Well now, we’ve just completed our preparations for surviving the coming apocalypse in splendid isolation, should it prove necessary. Mrs. Mac has assured me that we have enough tatties, porridge oats and other dry-goods, tinned foods, salted fish and beef jerky to last us a couple of months, to say nothing of two large freezers packed with all sorts of goodies.

    There’s fuel for the back-up generator, candles and storm-lanterns for use in extremis and my cellar resembles a bonded warehouse.

    And in case law and order breaks down, I’ve been looking to our defences. I’ve got two tactical flashlights with an ample supply of batteries, I’ve got thermal-imaging binoculars. I have plenty of shotgun ammunition, day/night scopes for my rifles and more than enough .308Win rounds to hold-off a platoon of Euro Gendarmerie for a fortnight …. two platoons, if they’re French … a whole damn’ company, if they’re Italian…..

    “Utrinque Paratus”
    :¬)

    :

          5. Have you tried Cremant. It is ever so cheap. Not as complex as a decent Champagne but a fraction of the price. I don’t need complexity anyway because i tend to adulterate it with cassis or cognac.

    2. Goodonya, did you remember to bring home lots of flour to make and bake your own bread ?

        2. I’d did an Alfred yesterday whilst watching the rugger.
          Black as the ace of spades.
          Kitchen filled with smoke.
          It’s all going well for your lot today Duncan. Frog marched.

    3. So you married Mrs. Mac, super-star of “Take The High Road”, Duncan? Did she ever let you make a guest appearance?

      :-))

    4. We routinely keep about 3 months supply of food including pasta, rice and tinned items. We were once snowed in with no power for over a week. if it can happen for a week, it can happen for a month or more is my thinking. I don’t have a gun, may I borrow one of yours?

      “Expugno”

    5. Just about to knock out industrial quantities of Sticky Toffee Pudding/Cake.
      More to keep MB fuelled while I’m hors de combat.

    1. Cows have a special religious significance to Hindus and portraying Priti Patel in that way is not only despicable, it may constitute a religious hate-crime.

      As I understand the law, it only needs one person to complain that they have been “offended” and the police MUST record the incident and investigate it. I’m thinking of sending just such a complaint to the Metropolitan Police.

      Maybe they’ll send somebody round to check the editor’s thinking.

      2. Do it, Duncan, do it! And let’s see what the response is.

        Prolly (© Bill Thomas) you’ll have your collar felt.

      3. They will probably just say it is ‘free speech’. Now, try publishing a cartoon of Mo…

    3. Gutless over Islam. Far worse than gutless.

      No wonder they are now begging for money, perhaps they woke up too soon for their own good.

      1. Pravda, sorry…The Guardian is funded by the Scott Trust Ltd, based in the Cayman Islands. Not at all dodgy, much.

  71. For the sake of maintaining a normal Blood Pressure, I rarely if ever watch BBC ‘News” these days. So I wonder if anyone can tell me whether a couple of months back this story was aired on the BBC?:

    Following the Grenfell fire tragedy, Freemasons in London decided to raise funds from their membership to buy the London Fire Brigade two Fire engine ladders. But not just any old Ladder. They raised £2.5 million to purchase two Ladders which are the largest in Europe and I’m told can reach 30 storeys high:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/47cc6e74036915e2f26ef1a68bbb89945fe99b32dd598b3cd14c3af45635164b.jpg

    2. I can’t imagine the BBC reporting it.
      Freemasonry evil = only in it for themselves no regard for non masons.
      Can’t spread any news of people doing good things for others less fortunate.
      I am not a mason.

      2. My Grandfather turned down an invitation to join in Leicester. As a result, they made sure he couldn’t get spares for his sock knitting machines, and so he went bankrupt.
        Not a lot of positive thoughts for them in our family.
        Good on them for the fire appliances, though.

    3. The money would have been better spent on fire proofing fridges.
      Cladding on its own has never ever self combusted. Thousands of people have the same foam cladding in their loft conversions and extensions.

  72. FAZ reports first German corona death. 60 year old man, on holiday in Egypt.

    1. We appear to be suffering from a shortage of shortages, despite the gutter press’s best efforts to create panic.

    2. ‘Afternoon, Peddy, high prices keep the goods on the shelf.

      Shopping in Aldi/Lidl with lower prices but where most of the customers might be on bennies and cannot afford to stock up?

    3. Called in two hours ago, toilet rolls and tissues still available, I noticed but several lines had been, um, wiped in each case so there were big empty spaces, absolutely no otc analgesics of any description, there a few tins of chopped Cirio tomatoes and that was it. Pasta was available, not a lot of choice though. Apart from the medications everything looked very much like I would have expected it to look after a weekend’s trading.

      1. Which branch do you go to? I go to St Ives – bang opposite my old surgery; I know many of the staff.

        1. I go to the Trumpington, Cambridge branch. It’s full of academics and Chinese, I am amazed how many Chinese shop there, but there are many chinese researchers and research students especially maths at the university. It is my nearest supermarket, about six miles away.

    1. AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

      That is what I call Deliveroo Green, a most obnoxious colour which is spreading everywhere. Even the guided buses are being repainted in that colour.

      I hate it.

      1. I call it “ungreen”, because it is a negative shade.

        Give me: British Racing Green, Apple Green, Brunswick Green, Goodwood Green and Constable Green (a mix of lamp black and lemon yellow invented by John Constable RA, which he used for his rich natural landscapes).

          3. I like proper lime green but not the abomination that most people think is lime green. Real lime green is very nearly yellow and has very little blue in it.

          4. I think they tried Lime Green as an alternate colour for fire engines? While it made the vehicles highly visible, people didn’t know that they were fire engines and didn’t move over to let them past, or something.

        2. Did you ever walk the beat with Constable Green, when you were a Bobby, Mr Grizzly, Sir?

          1. No, but I once appeared on Radio 4 as a character in a spoken play. He was was called “Jud Green” and that character was based on the real me.

            It was written by the younger brother of a friend, who had spent some time observing all the characters in our group and writing a play based around us. It was very funny and witty but I can’t recall what it was called.

        3. It’s even more irritating than the colour which the Germans call Messing, which was a fashion colour there about 20 years ago – a dulled-down lime green.

    2. I remember how to tear up newspapers. Gonna be tough now that they deliver the news online. The iPhone is in for some tough duty…

    4. Well,………. I just tried that and I couldn’t get it to work…………. back to square one eh ;-%

  76. Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway

    There will be a change to next weeks program. The prize will not be an airline ticked but will be 4 bog rolls and a packet of paracetamols

  77. DOI Final

    Another strange result . In my view Peri & Vanessa had it nailed . Joe & Alex were good but they lacked the elegance but they won

  78. Three virus cases in Leeds, Two from people who had just been to Iran. One still a secret.
    Amazed at the number of Iranians in the country. They seem to keep their heads down and not cause any trouble.

    2. A lot of them came over at the time of the revolution – they were the old royalist liberals who never liked the takeover by the ayatollahs.

          1. Depends on the example and I don’t think the Shah of Iran’s regime was liberal.

    5. Courtesy of my neighbour I’ve met many Iranians living in the UK, France & Switzerland, and I have to say without exception they have all been very bright, hospitable folk. It is a pity that their Iran is ruled by a theocracy.

      1. Iran was very close to western civilisation at one stage, then the mullahs took control again. Taking the culture back to the middle ages. Except of course for the dangerous use and threats of modern technology.
        I think this is what Assad has been trying to save Syria from for 20 years. It doesn’t seem to register with many western leaders.

  80. Saint Greta is not going to be pleased.

    We were in the coffee shop at Barnes and Noble (big US bookshop chain) today and they have told staff that because of coronavirus, the coffee shop will now only use plastic disposable cups, plates and cutlery.

        1. No. On a Sunday morning in the Market place where Joan D’A was burned at the stake, there is a wonderful flower market. The modern Church dedicated to Joan is a lovely space and a testament to guilt.

    7. Hello, Marler! How’s you father!
      Here I am holding, a Welsh banana.
      It is very entertaining,
      But Alun didn’t look like he was complaining.

    8. Rugby is a game played by men with odd-shaped balls. Marler was just seeing whether it was true.

    12. I’ve often wondered about the term “up and Under” as used by the commentators of yore…

    13. I’ve often wondered about the term “up and Under” as used by the commentators of yore…

        1. You’re nor allowed to shake hands, I understand.:-))
          Edit you’re for your.

    15. Erm, what’s happening in the pink bit just above Alun WJ’s shorts…?

      1. I suppose a defence of “I thought I saw a tuft of sheep fleece and tried to remove it” won’t wash?

      2. I suppose a defence of “I thought I saw a tuft of sheep fleece and tried to remove it” won’t wash?

    1. I like Suella, I like Priti, i like Sunac.

      Why do i like them and not our home grown variety.

      1. Perhaps because their families came here to be like us, as we once were long, long ago. They are chasing the elusive British dream.

    1. Not too well phrased….but I understand 😆.
      And it’s good night from me 😴

  89. Gosh, absolutely huge falls in FTSE Futures on stock market as it reopens after the weekend close – looks to be at least 6 per cent.

    2. But I just checked – the pound/dollar is $1.30 mmp which is fine. The speculators are in a world of their own.

      1. Well a 20 % fall in oil prices with a steady exchange rate will have some feed through to the price at the pump. It also makes the BoJo government’s policy re. going all electric cars even more chumpish.

    1. One person commented: “Why aren’t the PM and HS releasing the Grooming report?”

      The wazzock obviously isn’t keeping up with the HO farce, where the HO Snivel Serpents won’t let their own Minister see it.

      1. That does raise a question.

        I am not sure how it all works. But…if the Minister responsible for the department doesn’t have access and nor does the Prime Minister then who is in charge? Or is it all about damage limitation? …Erm…

        2. Can you imagine what would’ve happened had some “snivel serpent” refused Margaret Thatcher sight of a report she wished to see?!

  94. Good evening all

    BREAKING:

    John Travolta hospitalized for suspected COVID-19, but doctors now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever, and they assure everyone that he was Staying Alive.


    3. Tell me more, tell me more
      Did he get very hot?
      Tell me more, tell me more
      Have you caught it or not?

    5. I m still uncertain as to whether it was a real camera they broke. It looked real if it was that will be very expensive

  95. Gosh, bad news for Wind and Solar “power”, oil has opened in early Asian markets with a fall of over 20 PER Cent. Brent Crude close to $35 per barrel,

    And, of course, one is so sad for the talented rulers of the Middle East with their now utterly over-expanded populations ….

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